Conflicted Feelings

by eagc7

Conflicted

It was a sunny day at Canterlot, it was summer, the sky was clear, the birds were flying, it was the perfect day, a nice day to take a walk at the Canterlot Park. Applejack and Rarity took their younger sisters; Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, alongside their friend Scootaloo to the park, then also had planned to go to the pool later that day, then eat at an restaurant, Applejack and Rarity sat on a bench as they watched their sisters and Scootaloo race against each other in their scooters.

The blonde cowgirl sighed as she saw them play "You know we wont be able to spend alot more time with them as we usually do." Rarity then looked at Applejack "I know darling, in just a few months we will be moving to collage."

"It doesnt mean we wont see them anymore, but we should always treasure everyday we spend with our loved ones, spend as much time as we can before we have to move on with our lives." said Applejack.

Rarity nodded, there was a brief silence as they watched the girls, they both smiled. After a few seconds of silence, Rarity decided to start a conversation with her friend, she looked at Applejack "So, did you found a date for the prom dance at our school?" Applejack was slightly taken aback by the comment "Uh?"

"Next week's dance" said Rarity.

"Uh not really"

Rarity was a bit surprised "Nobody invited you?, the guys at our school are missing out, you are truly one of the most beautiful girls i've ever seen and anybody would be lucky to be with you at the dance"

Applejack blushed at the comment "Well actually, some guys invited me but i turned them down"

"Why?"

"Eh, i wasnt interested on them, but i dont think i need a date for the dance, all i need is to spend time with my friends"

Rarity smiled, then Applejack turned to look at her "What about you?"

"Well there is this handsome guy i am thinking of asking to go with me, but i dont know if i am his type".

"Ask him Rarity, i mean you wont know unless you ask him, i mean i were him, i would totally go with you, you are pretty, charming and an amazing person to be with". AJ slightly blushed when she said this to her friend.

"Awww, thanks Applejack" Rarity and Applejack smiled at each other, then Applejack looked directly at Rarity eyes and suddenly she felt something inside and she said the first thing that came to her mind "Rarity....your eyes are so beautiful" Applejack was taken aback by her comment that she thought to herself Wait what, why did i said that to her?. Rarity herself was also taken aback, but she smiled at the compliment, she blushed and moved a lock of her purple hair "Thanks Applejack" she looked at her blushing friend "But your's are more prettier and beautiful than mine" Applejack didnt know how to respond as her friend continued speaking "Like i said you are one of the most beautiful girls i've ever meet" Rarity felt something inside her, the same feeling as Applejack, then slowly puts her right hand on AJ cheek and slowly caressed it "I too would've invited you to the dance"

Applejack then finally opened her mouth, she still feeling a bit uneasy about what was happening, but didnt stopped her from also caressing Rarity cheek and it also didnt stopped her from saying what was in her mind "You are beautiful too" Applejack and Rarity caressed each other for a few seconds, before they closed their eyes and slowly approched each other, but they suddenly snapped back to reality when they heard their sisters and Scootaloo call them, she turned to see the girls, as they got off their scooters and removed their helmets.

"We are interrupting something?" said Apple Bloom, she clearly knew something was up.

"It looked like your girls were about to-" Scootaloo was about to say, but Rarity interrumpted, in a nervous voice "All right girls, umm wanna...." Rarity tried to change the topic and think of something to do. Then she remembered they were going to visit the pool "Go to the pool?"

Sweetie Belle looked at her older sister "Yes, i mean we were going there anyway". Rarity then exclaimed "Fantastiiccc, then lets get going" she and Applejack then got up from the bench and Rarity slightly pushed the girls so they could get moving, as they were leaving the park and heading towards AJ's truck, Sweetie looked at Apple Bloom "Do you think Rarity likes Applejack?" Apple Bloom had no response, but she turned to look at AJ and Rarity who were behind them.

At the pool, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were having fun playing on the splashing at each other, while they laugh, Applejack now in her swimsuit came back with the towels, so they could dry themselfs once they were out of the water and put them next to her chair, then he looked up and saw Rarity in her swimsuit getting out of the dressing room, she simply stared at her friend and could only think Wow!, Rarity calls Applejack in a flirty tone, Rarity walked towards her friend, holding her sunscreen.

"Jackie, can you be a dear and put some sunscreen on me?" said Rarity, Applejack only nodded who was still in shock at seeing her friend in her bikini, Applejack then grabbed the sunscreen and puts the cream on her hand, as Rarity lays on her back on the second chair, Applejack then began to rub the cream into her friend bare skin, as Rarity laid there relaxed, Applejack was confused and conflicted over what was happening with her and Rarity recently.

"Thank you dear, you have the hands of a goddess" said Rarity to AJ.

Later that afternoon after spending the day on the park and the pool, the girls all went to eat at the nearest Mall, Rarity was eating a salad, Scootaloo was eating some chicken, while Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are pizza, but Applejack was not eating anything, still conflicted and confused, she simply stared at Rarity, Rarity looked at her "Arent you to order something darling?, we could share my food if you want" Applejack snapped back to reality "Uh...no, i am good right now, thanks".

Apple Bloom noticed something was not right with her older sister "Hey Applejack, can we speak about something"

"Sure sugarcube, what it is?"

"Not right here, i'd like to speak with you alone"

"Oh..okay"
Applejack then looked at the other girls "Excuse us for a minute".

The Apple sisters got our of their seats and Apple Bloom dragged her older sister outside of the mall "What is it?" said the older sister.

"Are you falling in love with Rarity?" said the younger sibling.

"Uh, wha?.... we are....... just friends" she tried to lie

"Are you sure, you girls we're clearly about to kiss at the park and since then you've been acting differently around her"

"We...we're not...about to" Applejack tried to lie, but she could not bring herself to say more lies.

"Applejack" Apple Bloom said as she hold's her older sister hand "You are in love with her, go and tell her"

"Apple Bloom...."

"All i want is for you to be happy, Applejack..... tell her"

Applejack scratched the back of her head, not knowing what to do.

"Tell her when you are ready, i am not going to force you sister, come on lets go back inside"

After a long day, the sun was nearly going down, the sky was going nearly going dark, the girls went back to Sweet Apple Acres, the younger girls left the truck, as they rushed back inside Applejack's house, talking about how great this day was, Applejack all way back home was thinking about what Apple Bloom said, Rarity was about to leave the car, but she felt Applejack grabbing her hand. "Can we talk for a moment in the garage?" said the blonde girl, Rarity nodded.

Applejack drove her truck to the family barn-like garage, the two girls stepped out of the truck and Applejack closed the doors of her garage, wanting a private talk with Rarity, she walked towards her. "What do you want to talk about?" said Rarity.

"About what happened in the park" she walked more closer to her friend "I...i dont know what happened to me over there, but-HMPHH!" Applejack looked in shock as she noticed Rarity kissing her in the lips, Rarity lips then slowly parted ways from Applejack lips, Then just looked awkwardly at each other, Rarity didnt knew it, but this was Applejack's first kiss. Applejack quickly processed, she did loved Rarity.

"I..i'm sorry Applejack, couldn't help myself, i better go" then Applejack grabbed her her arm again and without thinking twice, pulled her into another kiss, the two girls spent the next minutes making out, Applejack tried her to best to resist the urge of undressing her friend, but then both girls accidentaly tripped while making up and fell to the floor, Applejack saw Rarity on the top of her. "Are you okay darling?" said Rarity with a worried tone.

"I am, my apple pie" said Applejack, Rarity smiled, she then licked Applejack on her lips and bit her lip slightly, then both looked at each other with a lovely look on their faces, Rarity not wanting the fun to end just yet began to nibble Applejack on her neck, Applejack moaned in pleasure, as she then pulled down slightly the strap of Rarity's top and began to rub her soft skin, then Rarity ended her job at Applejack's neck and returned to kiss her in the lips for a few minutes, they then stopped to catch their breath, they remained on the floor and Rarity laid next to Applejack.

The two girls held each other with a lovely look in their faces, not wanting to let go of the other for a while. Applejack mouth opened "I never thought the first time i would make out with somebody would've been with a girl",

Rarity looked at her "I think you we're always into girls, i mean i have noticed the way you used to look at Rainbow Dash time ago, you never gave a similar look to any of the guys you know but you never came to terms with it".

Applejack lovely caressed Rarity bare shoulder "You never seemed to me like someone that was into girls, apple pie"

Rarity blushed "I always had a thing for some girls, including a certain blonde girl that was my friend for many years"

"Are you still going to invite that guy to the prom dance?"

"I am reconsidering it" said Rarity with a soft voice, then Applejack smiled and closed her eyes as she tried to kiss her friend turned lover in the lips, but Rarity puts her finger on Applejack's lips, AJ opened her eyes. "But, i will only reconsidering if you awnser me this question" Applejack nodded.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend, my dear Jackie?"

"If you accept to be my girlfriend, apple pie"

Then the two girlfriends kissed each other in the lips. "This was the greatest day of my life" said Rarity

"Mine too".

Applejack then looked at Rarity's eyes once again "Who would've thought my best friend, would now be my girlfriend".

Rarity smiled, as she held into Applejack "Hopefully we will stay together for years to come, marry, adopt some kids to start a family and age together"

Applejack chuckled "Lets not think that far just yet, my lovely girlfriend"

Rarity chuckled aswell. "I like that"

"Like what?"

"Hearing you call me your girlfriend"

"It feels good to say that"

Applejack and Rarity kept holding each other on the floor.

"Do we tell our friends?" said Applejack.

"Later" said Rarity "Right now all i want to lay here on the floor with you" Applejack kissed Rarity in the forehead and they laid there with their eyes closed on the floor until it was dark outside, later that night, Applejack and Rarity were back inside their respective house, they went to bed, excited to see what their future holds, Applejack before closing her eyes, saw that she received a message on her phone, from Rarity which said

"Good night, love you"

Applejack replied to her girlfriend "Love you too"

Author's Note:

So the idea for this story came from an idea for a comic (which i still plan to do) featuring Rarity and AJ nearly kissing at the park, only for someone to ruin the moment, then just as i had the idea, suddenly this plot of Rarity and Applejack developing feelings for each other at this moment and Applejack being unsure of her feelings only for them to become a couple at the end came to my mind, now i was not sure about doing this story, but i wanted to get it out of my system, so here it is.

I dont know if the end result will be good or what, but i hope any Rarijack fans will like what i wrote and if you have any questions or ideas for potential future love stories (both SFW and NSFW) with these gals feel free to tell me

And this is also the first fanfic i post here and the first main MLP fanfic i write (not counting an crossover i did with Phineas and Ferb ages ago)

Comments

[Chemtest]

It was a sunny day at Canterlot, it was summer, the sky was clear, the birds were flying, it was the perfect day, a nice day to take a walk at the Canterlot Park. Applejack and Rarity took their younger sisters; Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, alongside their friend Scootaloo to the park, then also had planned to go to the pool later that day, then eat at an restaurant, Applejack and Rarity sat on a bench as they watched their sisters and Scootaloo race against each other in their scooters.

The blonde cowgirl sighed as she saw them play "You know we wont be able to spend alot more time with them as we usually do." Rarity then looked at Applejack "I know darling, in just a few months we will be moving to collage."

Right, I saw you in the I just want comments group, and thought I could help.

Those two quotes show a small, tiny, problem that can make a big difference. To start, that first sentence had only two periods in it, way too little. Two things too do, separate it into multiple paragraphs, or add periods instead of commas.

“Applejack and Rarity took their younger sisters; Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, alongside their friend Scootaloo to the park,”

Now, this should be a complete sentence, and not have a comma. That one period would make the entire paragraph look better, making it seem more like separate ideas than a run-on scentince.

Also, a pet peeve of mine, you could have said “It was a nice, sunny summers day in Canterlot.” And that feels more discrptive and less drawn out than what’s there. But, this could be how you write, and I’m absolutely fine with that, it just bothers me a bit.

And with the second quote, a actually big problem is shown. In that paragraph, two characters are talking, this is incorrect. Characters talking should always be separated into different paragraphs to make things less confusing.

Honestly, I don’t enjoy most romance stories, I’m more of an ‘hero on epic journey of epicness!’ Or ‘see this person or thing out of its comfort zone, and see what happens.’ And definitely a, ‘Why am I reading this? I don’t know what’s going on, but is random and hilarious!’ Type guy.

But this, this was good, and I look forward to seeing more stories from you.

Well, that took what? Like, 10 minutes? Really? The troubles of writing on a tablet.

Wish ya luck, and rapid pen strokes, Chem Test.

[Sage of the Leaf]

Your writing itself will probably improve with time, if you commit to it. The biggest issues with this story are typical for new writers. They're detail and pacing. It's never satisfying to jump into a ship, only to have the characters fall in love on a whim, and out of nowhere. Writing a great shipfic will usually require developing a connection between the characters, giving the reader a reason to form a relationship with the material, and to instill emotion in both the text and the reader. All of this can be accomplished with more descriptions of the characters' feelings and the setting, and with more time taken for the romance to develop.

I did not, however, dislike the story itself. It has all the pieces required to be a great, heartwarming fic. You did alright here- considerably better than some new writers I've seen-, and you can make it all even better by learning more about pacing and detail

[eagc7]

8826961
I do agree with the stuff you have pointed out, which is why i wasnt exactly sure about doing it/publishing it at first, but i am the kind of guy that doesnt like to my waste my work even if i am not sure if it will work or not. Maybe the fact this is the first romantic story i have written may contribute to some of the issues, as most stories i have written are mostly action oriented, so i do have stuff to learn when it comes to doing romantic stories and i do hope i can get better in the future.

Thanks for your feedback :)

[eagc7]

8826597
Yeah i do end up putting alot of comas on almost everything i write, but i am trying to slowly realize when i should and should not post comas and your tips will help me with that for sure.

And with the characters diaogue being seperated, thanks too for that tip, i am mostly used to writting in "script format" rather than in "novel format", but since we are not allowed to write in script format i had to get out of my comfort zone, so i have alot to learn when it comes to writting in novel format.

Thanks for the feedback and glad you liked it :)

[Chemtest]

8827093
It’s good that you listen, the only true fools are the ones who deny and choose not to learn.

[eagc7]

8827111
Yeah, i not someone that will ignore what people say, i love to get feedback/criticism to know what i did right and what i did wrong in order to improve down the line, for example i make Transformers and Marvel stop motion films, but if someone is available i always send them my scripts before i work on them so they/he/she can provide feedback so i can improve the story or later stories

[DavisSentoV5]

I love a good RariJack story!

[Jurt]

it’s not a bad Story it was a fairly decent one I can see potential in you becoming better over time the only thing that bothered me were the obvious spelling errors however they werent that bad I could still see what you meant so I could look over this detail.
However I might think others may think otherwise.

[rachiepony]

This isn't a bad story. They're just many grammatical and spelling errors that are common in new writers. I can assure you that with time and practice, quality will improve. I really did enjoy it though!