The Serenade of Silver Belles
Written By: Your Antagonist
Edited By-: Starwind Dood, Aziraphael, TheWattsMan, Brony2893, Cpl Hooves, Plyxe
The Epilogue of Silver Belles- Wish Fulfilment; Literally
Since they had departed the schoolhouse, Sweetie Belle and Silver Spoon had spoken nary a single word to each other. Silver Spoon’s silence stemmed from the fact that she had been so wrapped up in thinking of how everypony would look at her the next time she stepped hoof in the classroom. She could almost hear all the mocking jeers, feel all the disdainful leers of her classmates as they teased. At the very least, she could take solace in knowing that the one responsible for this whole ordeal would be getting her just desserts in spades. But even that small comfort failed to grant her panicked mind any peace as she recalled that Ms. Cheerilee would be visiting later to inform her parents of all ponies that their daughter had an abnormal but perfectly natural interest in fillies at her age. What were they going to think? How were they going to react? These questions had successfully invaded every inch of brainspace the filly could spare and ultimately drove her mood into the ground.
In contrast, Sweetie Belle had been straining her brain thinking of a way to inject some of her own optimism into her downcast special somepony. Her thoughts wandered from Sugarcube Corner, to prying the name of that cafe Silver Spoon had been talking about from the earth pony’s mind, but simple distractions like those weren’t going to raise her filly-friend out of this depression. The only option left to her was to approach it directly. “Hey, come on Silvy, it’s not like it’s the worst thing in the world.”
Silver Spoon hung her head, too dejected to debate her companion.
“Maybe nopony really cares?” said Sweetie Belle. “Why, maybe they’ve already forgotten about it by now!”
“If that was something you could just forget...” Silver Spoon muttered. The initial shock and awe of the situation had worn off and left her with a hollow, naked sensation as though everypony they passed on the road was glaring at her with prejudice and disdain. “I just want to go home and lock myself away from everypony for a few days. I don’t even want to think of what my parents are going to say...”
Sweetie Belle had heard enough of her companion’s griping, and wasn’t going to have more any of it. With a hop, a skip and a jump, she leapt in front of Silver Spoon, puffed out her cheeks and gave the earth pony the most stern look she could manage. Needless to say, this grabbed the metallic filly’s attention immediately. “Sweetie Belle?” she asked weakly.
The unicorn did not respond, she only continued to glower.
“What are you doing?”
Still more silence, and an intensified scowl as Sweetie Belle stepped forward.
“Sweetie Belle?”
Another two steps forward and further puffing up of Sweetie Belle’s rosy cheeks served in place of words, but only added to Silver Spoon’s confusion.
“Why are you doing that; you look ridiculous.” Silver Spoon couldn’t help an estranged smirk that had begun tugging at her lips.
Sweetie Belle continued to trot slowly forward and had now begun to scrunch up her face as much as she could manage, adding to the already ridiculous arrangement of her features.
The smirk on Silver Spoon’s face had evolved into a full on puzzled grin, complete with a few breathy giggles. She honestly had no idea what Sweetie Belle was trying to do but she couldn’t deny that she was thoroughly entertained.
The closer Sweetie Belle drew, the tighter and more ludicrous her face became, and in turn so did Silver Spoon’s grin. It grew and grew until at long last, Silver Spoon couldn’t help but full on laugh at her filly-friend’s expression. “Wh-what are you doing?” she managed to choke between chuckles. By this point, Sweetie Belle was within sniffing distance of Silver Spoon, but didn’t bother to break character. The unicorn leaned in incredibly close to Silver Spoon as though she were going to kiss her, but instead, tilted her head down slightly and gently poked Silver Spoon in the nose with her horn. “Ow, what was that for?” Silver Spoon rubbed at her nose, her lips still drawn up in a goofy-grin.
“Smile,” Sweetie Belle said, pouting. “If you don’t smile, then I’ll poke you again.”
“Alright, alright, you win.” Silver Spoon chuckled.
“That’s more like it,” Sweetie Belle said, her face loosening up slightly. “Now, come on.”
“Come on? Where are we going?”
“You said you wanted to be alone right?” she said with a sly grin replacing her look of annoyance.
“Well, yeah...”
“Well, it’s boring to be alone by yourself, so I figured we could go somewhere and be alone together. Now, come on,” she said bossily.
The two didn’t have to walk particularly long to get where they were going, but sure and soon enough they ended up just outside of the Ponyville library. Pushing the door open ever so gently, the two were pleased to find the place empty save for Spike, who had curled up under the pages of a particularly large reference book that fit over him somehow just snugly enough to cover his feet. Taking care to step softly, they maneuvered through the rows of shelves, pushing on each of the books until they’d found their hidden alcove, which they hopped inside and covered up as quick as whip. As they were overall exhausted from the events of their thanklessly stressful day, Sweetie Belle didn’t bother with her light spell on this occasion and Silver Spoon didn’t particularly care to indulge in conversation at the moment. They’d overcome so much in such a short time span and they still had so much to worry about on the outside, but for the moment, they were content just to be with one another. They could deal with life later.
It hadn’t taken long for the two to get comfortable with each other in the tight crawlspace, and it had taken Sweetie Belle even less time to fall asleep, the outline of her blissfully grinning face just visible to her significant other even in the faintly lit alcove. As she watched the sleeping form of Sweetie Belle nuzzle deeper into her bosom, a particularly odd notion worked its way into Silver Spoon’s thoughts and made her giggle. “Heh, I guess Scootaloo’s mother was right,” Silver Spoon said softly, “My wish really did come true.” With that, the earthpony allowed herself to be taken by the welcoming caress of a peaceful slumber.
(This story isnt over, as there's still loose ends and another untold tale to trail, but for these two love-struck little ladies this is...)
The End
... Yeah, that WOULD happen. (The newspapers being passed out during lunch, I mean. It's what we did at my high school, anyway...)
That's an adorable picture.
I'm gonna miss seeing updates for this story though. I really like this ship and read every other story you've linked already.
Daaaw that was a great endingbnyou did well Bravo Bravo, I want an encore.
Unintentional pun?
Very nice. I was extatic when I discovered Finding Sweetie and I have this just as much. Very well done.
Okay... The ending of the story has arrived... And I read it. And quite frankly, I feel like crying until all the fluid in my body has escaped. For two reasons, which are: 1) The nice, sweet ending of the story, and 2) It's the end of my favourite story ever. Antagonist, you've done quite well on this story, and as much as I'd love for it to continue, all things must come to an end, and sadly, that includes great things such as this. I look forward to reading more of your stories, and hopefully, ones like this in terms of heartfelt chaos and near-impossible predicaments, and even closer to impossible solutions.
I wish I could say more, but I have nothing left to say. Nothing left to do in this comment. Antagonist, thank you. Thank you so very much for writing such a great story, for taking so much time to please us. Thank you.
~Gin Ichimaru~
P.S.: You've earned a follow, and a heart.
A warm ending to a terrific fic. Well done, Y.A., well done.
Watched this evolve from the start, and I must say I was not disappointed I the least. A glorious fic, and the one that made Silver Belle my OTP for that third of the CMC.
Do not ask for who the bell trolls for, for it trolls for you
D'aaawwww. Nice ending for a nice fic!
HNNNNNNNGH~!
Everything turned out fine didn't it?? Right?? Huhuhu...
I think I need to kay off the sugar for a while...this will suffice for an entire year for me! Awesome fanfic...mademe stay up all night just to read it
Sad though that it's done
OHMAHGASH AN ENDING!!!
*fangasm*
It's amazing! An ending that everyone will be satisfied with will leave them really happy, and this is one of those and I am one of them.
Marvelous story, by the way!
What sort of ending was that? Was that supposed to leave us hanging? Why did you introduce a second conflict right before the ending? Is the fact that Silver Spoon is apparently still not entirely comfortable with being outed just supposed to waft away into the sunset? This needs more closure. Yes, you manage to just chuck Sweetie and Silver to a couple of months/years in the future and everything is apparently neatly tied off with a bow, but there's so many unknowns at the end of chapter 15 that it seems grotesquely unrealistic. You need to at LEAST have two expository paragraphs that explain the immediate reaction of the populace and Diamond Tiara's fate, otherwise this feels like a cop out of monumental proportions. You've managed to do brilliantly so far with every other chapter, don't let this story end on a flat note.
2459544 ... there's going to be a sequel picking up where this left off.
2459709
That doesn't mean you can have a nebulous sort of ending where we don't really know what Silver's decision about the future is.
The line "I guess my wish really did come true" sort of does that, but it's not a statement for the future so much as it is a statement about the present. Silver Spoon hasn't demonstrated any particular decision about facing the music (lolpun?), with this line or with any other. As it is, we see that she's wiling to accept the present situation as fact (again, as demonstrated by the mentioned line, along with her reaction to Sweetie's attempts to cheer her up and the Cuddling Scene that we end on), but none of these imply much about the future. No foreshadowing happens about the next installment (which I will address further later) nor about the immediate future nor about the fall off future. Without further evidence, the reader is left to their own devices about what happens next.
While those in the community who ship Silver Belles hardcore will clearly default to "and they lived happily ever after", more casual readers really don't have any particular reason to assume such. Hell, if I wanted to be cynical, I'd say that the next installment should include the way Silver Spoon increasingly grows unable to handle the peer pressure and eventually breaks up with Sweetie Belle, causing mass heartbreak. Of course, it is unlikely that this would happen, but Dramatic Irony, a good ending does not make. You must either tie up the loose ends present at the end of this story OR foreshadow how they will develop without actually going into significant detail. For example, you could have a paragraph where Diamond Tiara is getting punished and vows revenge, a paragraph where Featherweight is developing photos and vows to never again take a questionable photograph, a paragraph where Ms. Cheerilee is tiredly walking back to the office after explaining homosexuality for the 27th time, etc. etc. etc.
Regarding the sequel: I really hope you were planning on picking it up right after the Cuddling Scene. I can't tell if you're going to do that or if it's going to be after the Hilltop Scene that's the last third of this chapter. That's a cute scene, yes, but it would be very very VERY jarring to just skip into the future without addressing the above listed concerns. If you start RIGHT after they're cuddling in the library (perhaps Twilight wakes them up because she's closing up shop (bonus points if she sneaks a book on How To Be A Fillyfriend For Eggheads into one of their bags)), you can set up a lot of stuff for the future. Frankly though, this would work better as a conclusion to this story. Twilight wakes them up, they leave, Silver Spoon comments on how important Sweetie is to her or vice versa, promises to be together forever, determination to face the music head on, etc. etc. etc.
So yeah. Sure, you can has sequel. But as Pinkie Pie would say, you can't bake the second cake when you haven't finished frosting the first cake, 'cause otherwise whoever bought the first cake is gonna be a sad panda.
Absolutely freakin' precious. That is all.
It's taken me a day or two to read this fic (mainly due to time restraints) and it's definitely one of my most favourites, I'm quite disheartened to see it end but I'm happy that there's more stories to read. Strangely, this like saying goodbye to a good friend, a truly amazing tale.
MechaLump
I liked this fic. A lot. But in all seriousness, the ending wasn't good at all. Your portrayal of Cheerilee seriously ticks me off; she seems so uncaring and nonsensing that I have a hard time believing that she cares about the students at all. Next, why in hell would Cheerilee not read the school paper before it's published?! I have written for a school paper, and they were always, every single time, checked by a teacher. Many things were vetoed. Then there's the whole thing about Cheerilee telling Silver's and Sweetie's parents about their fillyfooling. Just... ugh. Where I live, such involvement in a student's private life would end with the teacher losing her job very quickly.
But yeah, sorry about this rant. The story was still very good, and invoked much emotion.
When is the Sequel coming out? Are we going to follow their relationship as it evolves past them getting together?
what happened to finding sweetie?
Reading this book alone in front of a lake on a warm night the perfect way to spend my vacations evenings. Thank you very much, antagonist.
In other, unrelated news, three stories just appeared in my read later queue...hmm, can't argue with that.
Finding sweetie is not there! based on the description i REALLY wanted to read it too! :raritycry if someone can find it please PM the link!
Onward and review-ward! Sleep deprivation very much a factor here, so not sure how cohesive this'll be.
Uh, characters, those are a thing. This fic, like the majority of proper fanfiction, is very grounded in believable character interaction and you can often enough imagine the characters in question speaking their lines. This is more or less a given when it comes to the CMC, considering your considerable talent, but I guess the exception would be Sweetie Belle, since your spin on her is a little different that one would maybe expect. So the characters one should look at is Sweetie Belle, and then of course Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara. To start from the top, I do like what you did with Sweetie Belle. Her pacifist and mature attitude is a very welcome backdrop against the CMC antics. However, her attitude towards Silver Spoon a little jarring. Not because of the aforementioned attitude, nor because of the backstory, but instead in her friendly-to-romantic actions towards SS that seem to happen without any discomfort, doubt or difficulty from SB's side. It's an odd complaint, because usually, the issue with shipfics is that the feelings seem to spring up too quickly. Here, where that problem is taken care of, I instead felt that the problem was SB's forwardness. That aside, the relationship still ends up feeling rather genuine, very much thanks to the excellent characterization of Silver Spoon.
Silver Spoon has been well taken care of, with proper backstory to back up her personality and actions towards Diamond Tiara, even when these actions happen really early. It's believable and humanizing (equinizing? this pony terminology, I can't), and Silver Spoon is just that damn well-written throughout the whole story, possessing an ample amount of adorably self-consciousness, troubled thoughts and good ol' badassery (referring to her violent actions towards Featherweight). She just works, and she is the main reason why I would recommend this fic to anyone interested. I really don't have anything negative to say about her.
Diamond Tiary, lastly, is also...good. She does her job as the antagonist, that's for sure, and she's colorful enough to be a good "villain." However, I think that's part of the problem, and this issue ties into Sweetie Belle's characterization as well. Since Silver Spoon, as the main character, gets most of the attention, there is a lack of nuance behind the primary driving forces of the story, namely Sweetie Belle's feelings towards Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara's actions in general. I already talked about the first, so onto the second. Diamond Tiara, at times, feel very 'evil for the sake of being evil'. There was effort toward painting motivation and backstory for DT, but I think it should've either been explicitly expanded on or told through more insight into DT's thoughts. However, these are rather minuscule nitpicks. The characters are good, so good that I can actually give this kind of in-depth criticism, and that's deserving of praise.
The story, the plot in itself, is well constructed. It's not anything special, but it doesn't have to be, seeing as the budding relationship is the focal point. While the drama in the story feel very fitting in a 'everything's a huge problem when you're little' way, it too suffers slightly from DT's villainous tendencies. In short, the plot devolves into something pretty generic towards the end, this being punctuated by the anti-climax of DT's "defeat." From a character stand-point, it would've been more advisable to have Silver Spoon overcome Diamond Tiara's tyranny with, say, the help of her new-found friends. It happened in a way, I guess, but it wasn't very tangible.
It's important to note that despite all of my criticisms, I do very much like this story, or I wouldn't bother critiquing it at all. It has great characters and is believable, it's fluffy in all the right places and it doesn't take itself too seriously. While it suffers from a lackluster plot, the spin on Silver Spoon is carried out to perfection and the shipping is all-around pretty stable and free of contrivances. A work well done, through and trough, and a definite favorite of mine.
I really enjoyed this story and that lovely picture.
To be completely honest, I hated that ending. For someone who apparently likes Diamond Tiara, you basically just ruined her. You had her be a complete and utter monster the ENTIRE TIME, and left next to nothing for her in the end that might be a possible redemption arc for her. Look, regardless of what you may think or believe, the fact is she's not a monster. She's just an immature little rich filly. You took things WAY too far, to the point where it felt incredibly uncomfortable, illogical, and just downright unpleasant. Yes, as seen on the show, Diamond Tiara CAN be cruel, and she CAN be manipulative and do things to get her own way. But the way you took her was just TOO far. And, to be quite honest, it was very out-of-character. It would be like Chrysalis actually trying to murder a pony, by using the viewpoint that she's "evil" and therefore she is willing to do anything, no matter what. It's just not very smart, and very unsettling.
I had a very hard time with all of Diamond Tiara's parts in this. I've dealt with bullies before, and let me just say that no bully that has ever hurt me has done something like THIS. This is literally going into the range of psychotic, mentally-unstable, deranged lunatic instead of typical prissy school bully. I think you take your love for antagonistic things and just twist them into something much darker and more sinister than they really are. I won't question what you like or what you love, since that's your business, but it felt so nauseating in this. In my own stories, I've been accused of making Rainbow Dash a bit too "mean", but at least I can justify that because she is seen being mean, pushy, and downright irritating at times when she's dealing with competition or winning. With Diamond Tiara, all we get from her is one-dimensional behavior in an episode now and then were all she does is tease the Crusaders. SHE wasn't the one who humiliated the Crusaders during the newspaper episode; they did it to themselves when they could've just said no. SHE wasn't the one who made Scootaloo act like a moron in Flight To The Finish; all she did was tease her about not flying. The point is you just took it WAY too far. I LOVE Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, but I would NOT have done that with the former. In my own stories, I make Tiara basically what she is on the show: rude, arrogant, snarky, confident, condescending, and obnoxious. However, I also delve into WHY she's like that, and not just add fuel to the fire, but rather try and understand her better and try to remedy the brat she is. You did the opposite here.
Another thing that I simply have to comment on is your excessive use of complicated dictionary words that really have no place in a story like this. Contrary to what you may think, and writing in the style you prefer, using SO many eccentric and overwhelming words that not everyone in the entire world knows isn't smart. All it does is drag down the story and makes it too confusing to fully keep up with and understand. It's fine to use such detail now and then, but not constantly. There's a difference between filling up sentence after sentence with massive displays of nonsensical details and words, and simply saying what needs to be said in a colorful, yet balanced manner. Like, if I were to write a sentence about someone reaches into the fridge and pulls out a gallon of milk to pour a cold glassful to enjoy some chocolate chip cookies, YOU would probably waste nearly two paragraphs describing how the person's heartbeat is accelerating from the thrill of having milk, or what they're smelling, or what they're seeing besides the milk in the fridge, or other useless information that is just annoying rather than needed. I can't tell you how often I skipped and skimmed parts in this captivating story due to excessive, annoying detailing. No, that does NOT mean I did not understand it, and it doesn't mean I'm stupid. I know the English language better than anyone, and I got top grades in school. It means that reading a lovely story should not be a chore, but a pleasure and an enjoyment. You need to find the right balance of details so that it flows, not that it bogs everything down to a mass of complication that annoys people.
Seeing all of your comments beforehand, I know for a fact that you'll probably just brush this aside and state that you could care less because it's your style and you will write how you damn well please, or show a clip of just how vulgar a word the f-word is and just how "wonderful" it is to be used when it isn't, or make a video scolding me about wrong I am and dissecting my entire comment piece by piece until you rip it to threads and take only what you want out of it to mock. That being said, I wanted to speak my thoughts about the two NEGATIVE things that I did not enjoy about this story before getting to the things that I DID like. So, in conclusion, I really did not like what you did with Diamond Tiara and felt it was TOO excessive, TOO cruel, and just TOO unsettling. I also did not like how you just constantly bogged down paragraph after paragraph with big dictionary words when there really was no need; the flow would've worked fine without it.
Now, what I DID really enjoy (so much so that I read this entire thing in just two days) was how complex you made Silver Spoon. As seen (sadly) in Flight To The Finish, she MIGHT not be so innocent as you make her out to be. But, let's be honest; she's still awesome and we do still strongly believe she's a good girl on the inside. Anyway, I really love how you showed us happy, miserable, and even angry sides of Silver Spoon and it really did round her out to be incredibly three-dimensional and amazing in this story. Likewise in my own stories, I love to make her have a nice side, too. There's just something about her that I really, really love. Point is that I liked every part she was involved with, both with Sweetie Belle and the other Crusaders. I also felt that the Crusaders were handled decently, too...for the most part. Scootaloo seemed a BIT too reckless and even insane sometimes, while Sweetie Belle seemed a LITTLE too stupid and whimsical and nonchalant. But, I suppose it worked, since you wanted to establish a clear personality with each of them. Apple Bloom was basically nothing special, which I'm sure you did on purpose; like with Applejack, Apple Bloom tends to be boring a lot of the time and overlooked due to her two better Crusader friends.
The flashbacks and dreams (while needlessly dark) were crafted beautifully and were honestly well thought-out, and it allowed Silver Spoon to get even more awesome. Sweetie Belle getting Silver Spoon's glasses, and then getting a dress, before pulling her out for a very weird date was...rather sweet and adorable. Spike was funny, Daring Do (I guess) was interesting, Cheerilee was interesting, and Featherweight was just so frustrating. I won't get into him, though. Despite all the negative things I'm saying, and the fact I didn't like the rather rushed and sudden ending, I really did love the story. It made me tear up at times, and genuinely smile at many of the parts (especially when Silver Spoon was accepted into the Crusaders, and her scenes with Sweetie Belle). Only minor errors here and there, regardless of how many people you had edit them by this point, but they didn't detract from the story.
Overall, it was amazing and you really should feel proud. I don't like this version of Diamond Tiara at all, and all the details was just frustrating, but never mind. It was still really epic and you have a lot of talent. Thanks for the very fun read!
3724430 you my friend are an idiot
Commence read.
Cute little ending.
Though I probably would poke people to if it were with a magical poking instrument that jutted out of my scalp.
Yet it seems DT never really gets her just desserts. *sigh* So much building up for the reader--so much seething detest for Diamond Tiara--and no payoff. DT loses. Period. No real repercussion. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still reading this story only to see what karma befell DT. You can imagine my disappointment when it was the equivalent of nothing.
2459709 It's been over a year now, any chance on that sequel?
This has a few too many loose ends to be considered "the end", and those linked stories-one of which, to my vast disappointment, no longer exists- aren't what i had in mind
*thumbs up* If this is the end, I can accept that, though it feels a little premature it is still an ending and it's a happy type of ending, who wouldn't like that? ^_^
Thanks for sharing Your Antagonist. Really enjoyed reading this. Particular liked how a few chapters started with an vernacular array of words. No doubt thanks to the variety of editors on this story. So kudos to them as well! Was fun to read. ^_^ Learnt new words like 'ersatz' and 'epiphanies', to remember a few :P
Your rendition of Silver Spoon I think could be like Rarity if she was more upper crust...and younger. Both strong and independent. Really liked her.
I also thought that Ms. March Hare, saved from much descriptions, might of been Fluttershy if it weren't for mention of 'earth pony.' :3
Could have done with another chapter about DT but tbh ending it here did make sense with their relationshio basically consolidated.
5112800 Be dissapointed no longer my friend, I have the entire finding sweetie story which I can send tomorrow if you want, it had about 600/10 like dislike and 16 chapters (story was complete) before it was deleted for a "rewrite" which you can probably guess never occurred and then the writer went AWOL.
[youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TAryFIuRxmQ]
Perfect ending, with just the right touches of humor. I'm officially calling this my best-case scenario for a SS episode.e
5457319 oooh I wanna read that as well. But should Your Antagonist ever return, this was an absolutely amazing story to read. Definitely one of my top favorites
5457319
I would love to read it if you still have it.
5457319
definatly would like to read that :) if you could help me out? :D
I loved this! It was clever, adorable and well-written from start to finish.