A time before the two sisters there was only war, leaders known as the warlords control most of the land. They rage war across the land and will conquer whoever gets in their way. But a new warlord has arrived with a power no one has seen
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"me seeing ending"
9553235
What, it’s nothing important after all
Quote: I am da captain now.
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media.giphy.com/media/19M6CZEuUWyxa/giphy.gif
suuuuuuuuurre
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To be helpful here and not to sound mean but you should go back and reread your book slowly to see if you can catch anything that shouldn't be there, such as home went, which was supposed to be helmet, I personally don't find this big of a problem since I normally autocorrect everything in my mind when I read but others might not and I don't want to see you be criticized over something like this.
To put it simply, I'm just trying to help you not to criticize you...man I wrote a lot lol
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Fixed it
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There you go man, isn't it nice having such nice commenters willing to help you edits.
9557275
Yep 👍
good chapter i am looking forward to the next. Have you looked at what I recommended
Hey PsychoFox44, I may have a few suggestions in mind if you want to hear them.
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Sure
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I’m sorry but I can’t remember do you mind reminding me.
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https://www.fimfiction.net/story/431382/3/warlord/chapter-2-now-thats-what-i-call-a-finish-her#comment/9516469
This was what I wrote last time
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Yes, now I remember. Yes I have thought about what you said.
Yes well, if this is about a Viking type of warfare, I know some military tactics of which you could add to the story. Say that your character came up with that idea for aiding his clan. And a question about the whole clan war thing. Is it about money, land, power, or self defense?
Wow, a very great story so far. Can't wait to see where it goes.
So good
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to be fair, he's not the only one that does this. it gets annoying after a while. honest mistakes are one thing, but when it keeps happening a lot?
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You should’ve seen me 2 to 3 years ago. I couldn’t write a sentence to save my life. But after a years of publishing I’ve learned a lot of mistakes. I’m not perfect and no one ever is. It’s true I still make mistakes but I make up for it in my stories.
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Thank you for liking my stories let me know what you liked and disliked and It’ll help me improve
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I feel like he should have to try a little harder to get the former slaves to cooperate. Otherwise I can't think of anything that I want to change.
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More please
Is this thing dun
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You going to continue this story
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Yes the next chapter should be out soon
releasing the slaves was an intelligent move and a dumb one at the same time
while some may feel gratefull and help other will feel resentment and figth againts him