Walking through town makes me aware of something very clear. Ponies don’t like the sight of blood. And I imagine them seeing my clothes coated in it, despite it all being mine, makes them all very fearful of me. It’s strange honestly, I’m the one limping; but I know why they’d assume otherwise. Unknown creature who everyone knows wants to and is willing to kill their beloved leader. As unfair to me as that is, it’s probably the reason.
Reasoning aside, it does wonders to bring down my mood, and make me feel even more alone and ostracized, despite walking with a group of ‘friends’.
Rarity’s voice grabs my attention when she stops and about faces at the door to her home. “Now Null, as amusing as it would be to see you in a dress, I must admit that I was joking; I just wanted to make you squirm a bit for trying to destroy my dresses, even if it wasn’t actually you. It was unfair of me, and I’d like to apologize. As such, even though you came up with the bet, I’m giving you the opportunity to back out if you want to.” she says with a determined and apologetic look on her face.
I look at her with a somewhat skeptical look, expecting her to start laughing and say ‘gotcha’ or something. But when nothing comes along, I raise an eyebrow, and simply motion her inside. “If you’re offering. No take backs, and you aren’t gettin’ another chance at this.”
Rainbow Dash groans and throws her hooves in the air. “Why even bother making the bet if you’re just gonna back out of it?!”
I look at her, annoyed. “Because I wanted my clothes fixed, and I figured if she was serious, I could at least make it a little bit interesting and have a little fun with it. Worst case scenario, I get laughed at and have to wear a dress for a few days; and believe me when I say that a few days is an extremely short amount of time. Goes by in a snap.” I say while snapping my fingers for emphasis. “Best case scenario, I get to burn one of Rarity’s dresses. The outcome could not have been any more inconsequential to me in the long run, despite how annoying it would be; like you’re being right now. Plus, it gives me faith in her to see that she isn’t a manipulative little B-...” I cut myself off before I finish the word. “...Thing, like she was portraying herself to be.”
Rarity smiles at the last part of my little explanation, thankfully not catching my little slip up. Rainbow Dash simply lets out a drawn out “Laaaame” and flies off grumbling to herself. I shake my head, and follow Rarity inside. “Do forgive Rainbow Dash for her attitude, she doesn’t actually mean anything by it.” she says as she walks up to me, and grabs a part of my shirt in her hooves, feeling it.
“Uh…” I say, a bit confused. She ignores me, and then moves to my pants, running her hoof along my shin. “Alright, what are you doing?” I ask.
“Seeing what your clothes are made of so I know what materials to use.” she answers without looking at me. I roll my eye and silently let her continue. Without looking, she brings over a couple rolls of white and black fabric, and holds them up to my shirt, assumedly trying to match the shades. She settles on the two colors, and brings down a simple white sheet from upstairs, and drags a changing curtain in front of me. “Alright, strip.” she says draping the sheet over the curtain. I do so, and hang them over the curtain. I wrap my naked self in the sheet, and come back around from the curtain and see that Rarity is gone, along with my clothes.
I look at Starlight and raise an eyebrow. She points to a door, from which I hear water running followed by the whirring of a machine. Rarity comes back through said door, and motions us over to a lounging area. “It’ll take a few moments for your clothes to be cleaned, so in the meantime, why don’t we chat?”
I hobble over and slowly sit down on one of the chairs, close my eye, and focus on my breathing for a moment.
“Are you alright dear?” I hear Rarity question from her seat.
I take a deep breath and exhale. “I’d be lying if I said the walk over wasn’t tiring. I’m just glad you all figured out AC at some point. That aside though, what is there even to talk about?”
“Plenty of things if you’re willing to. I’m sure there must have been plenty of things you’ve seen in your… lifetime, let’s call it?” she says.
I scoff and open my right eye. “Yeah, only a thousand years worth of your nation's history, another thousand years outdated on top of that. There isn’t much I remember from all that. Mostly historic events, fights, some moments with Luna, and some other useless moments that stick in my memory for no apparent reason.”
“Well there's a topic right there!” she exclaims. At my raised eyebrow, she continues. “Princess Luna. What do you think of her?”
“What are you getting at?” I ask with a small amount of annoyance if she’s implying what I think she might be.
“Oh come now, she was able to call you off when you first showed up, and from what I can tell, is the only reason you haven’t gone off the deep end, so to speak. Such a strong relationship must have something to be said about it.” she presses.
“I have to admit, I’m a little curious about that too. How can a friendship be developed when you were… you know.” Starlight chimes in.
I exhale and lean back, looking at the ceiling. “Not much to tell really. I wanted her dead along with her sister. She nearly killed me, decided not to, then started to use me as a diary. I still wanted her dead, but then she started making efforts to free me. I guess somewhere along the way I started caring. This all happened over the course of a couple hundred years.”
After a moment, Rarity clears her throat. “While insightful, that doesn’t really answer the original question. What do you think of Princess Luna herself?”
I take a moment to think of a way to word what I want to say. “I care about her.” I say simply. “She was my only friend for the longest time; She’s like a sister to me, if that's what you mean.” I expand while staring at the ceiling.
I groan as a particularly tense muscle decides to spasm and cause me a ton of pain, clutching at the spot in question with a wince. I wave off their concerned looks and the pain soon subsides.
Starlight clears her throat, dragging my attention to her. “Null, I’ve sorta been meaning to ask you something.”
I raise an eyebrow at her. Taking this as my go ahead for her question, which it was, she continues. “It was something one of your clones said, specifically the one that represented your disgust. He seemed to imply that you were disgusted in yourself. Do you know why he might have said that?” she asks.
This was news to me. I don’t have any recollection of what any of my emotions got up to while I was under the effects of Poison Joke. “Are you saying I have self loathing issues?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying; your emotions can’t lie Null, and it’s not healthy to have those kinds of thoughts.” she presses.
“Then what do you suggest Missy? What should I do about them, hm? Because if you’ve got a panacea for all my mental issues, then please let me know. Otherwise, I’d rather not be reminded of my own mental instability, thank you very much.” I snap.
She flinches back at my harsh tone, but gains a challenging look. “I don’t have a cure for your problems, but the first step in fixing them is recognizing that you have them.” she says. Her features soften a bit. “I can’t just make everything better for you, but I can hear you out at least.” she states with a small smile.
I let out a small sound of amusement. “Using my own words against me, huh?”
She nods and Rarity decides to speak up. “I’m sure she’s not the only one who’d be willing to lend an ear, you know. I wouldn’t mind, and I’m sure the other girls wouldn’t mind either.”
I give a small smile, and look back at the ceiling. “Alright, I’ll keep that in mind.” I say simply.
Before either of them can continue, the sound of buzzing comes from the other room. Rarity excuses herself and goes to said room, leaving me with Starlight.
I look at her once more, and a question pops into my head. “Why do you care?” I ask her bluntly.
She raises an eyebrow, confused at my question. “Pardon?”
“Why do you care about me? How much do you care about me for that matter. Luna said that others cared about me, and listed you as one of them. You followed me into the Everfree, a place which I’m told most wouldn’t follow even their best friends into. I’m not what you were hoping I was, I tore apart your belief. So, why do you care? Why put up with me?” I explain.
She takes a moment to process my little tirade. “That's… not an easy question to answer. I have my reasons, but… I don’t exactly wanna talk about them right now.” she says, motioning to the other room where Rarity is.
It takes a moment to figure out what she’s hinting at, but it clicks after a quick second. “Ah… later then?”
She simply nods after a moment of contemplation.
At this point, I'm going to have to read from the very first book to know everything that's happening; when this book is done.
There's so much time between chapters that I tend for forget things, since I read a lot.
That same dilemma can be said for money, though that could also be used to widen the circle:
Need money? Get a job
Need a job? Get an education/experience
Need education/experience? Go to college
Need college? Get some money
Rinse and repeat, and I can agree that with the economic problems that are occurring on account of a widespread disease as well as strife as a result of folks on both sides of the fence refusing to listen to one another, I can see s is going to h in a fbasket.
That being said, here's hoping your endeavors turn out more prosperous than mine ever have been.
I at the very least liked this chapter and I'm curious to see how Null and Starlight's relationship continues to develop; not meaning it has to be romantic but well, this is one very interesting point of divergence from canon since we're mid-Season 2 IIRC, and one of Starlight's biggest issues was her closing off and not trying to reach out due to her losing one friend.
Yeah I'm done here too. Celestia hasn't made any serious attempt to be worthy of being forgiven which just leads me to end every chapter thinking.
"Why hasn't he killed that bitch already?"
That and it's just gotten so incredibly dull, and directionless. Mirering a story in constant introspection and dragging out the main character's every mental issue is fine as a side plot but without any central conflict its just downright uninteresting. If you wanted a story about a character's struggles with mental health and self-loathing you should have let Null kill Celestia, and then do all the introspection. Their would have been conflict that wouldn't seem random like 'oops some flowers' or 'oops another misunderstanding' or oops 'he flew off the handle.' And it would have remained interesting.
It seems like "hes insane" is becoming a crutch to move the story in seemingly random directions, while real insane people will cut your head off for wearing purple. His 'insanity' only comes up when the plot needs it too. Otherwise hes just a bitter, suicidal moron who hasnt killed himself for some reason.
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Well for what it's worth, I do have a central conflict in mind. Just haven't gotten to the point I planned to bring it in yet. Maybe leave the story alone for a few chapters then come back? I dunno, I cant tell you what to do. Not gonna comment on your pointing out of flaws in the story as I don't want to get into an debate, but despite that, thanks for sticking with the story for as long as you have.
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A central point of tension, and conflict is integral to ALL stories. If you do not have one then you need to be heavily implying that it is coming, building supsence for it, or purposefully making it seem as though there is no central conflict in order for it to be a surprise. Unfortunetly these kinds of judgements can really only be made in hindsight, so I hope I'm wrong.
I also hope he kills the shit out of Celestia.
I enjoyed this chapter. It was nice and relaxed and pushed things along well enough. It's a shame people can't frame their criticisms in a more constructive manner, but it's not like I've never been guilty of that. There's no shame either in being rattled by the kind of backlash that dropped in the comments last chapter. That would get to anyone.
My suggestion is to make a rough outline with story ideas, so you don't have to worry about forgetting your thoughts when writer's block or life get in the way for awhile. Outlines can do a lot to organize your thoughts and give confidence in where you're taking a story and how to get there. You can also be as rough and vague or as through and detailed as you want with them. Either way can help.
Damn it Deka! I was on the cusp of sleep and then my phone beeps and notifies me you updated this!
Still it was a good update! I am still waiting for either some Noble or Celestia to pull a stupid, it’s inevitable!
Im not a a story writer and i wont pretend to be but when it come to this story i believe the only question that should matter is how you yourself as an author feels about it. A thought that always arises for me is that no matter how hard I try there will be that be at least one person that doesnt like me, same can be said about anything, as such ask yourself, what do you want, out of this story and yourself, if you can enjoy your own writing others will enjoy it. Even if there are those that dont, there will always be those that do. So do what you enjoy and dont let others discourage you, make your story the one you would be happy to read.
Glad to see a chapter! Life gets in the way. Writer’s block is a pain. You put a chapter out, that’s a good thing! Short? Still a chapter. Good luck with the job hunting.
You could try writing stuff down in a dedicated journal. Even if it’s incomplete thoughts. Outlines are good, but some can’t use them. But jot down the idea fragments, you won’t regret it.
I'm glad to see the story still progressing. Not gonna lie, the whole dress thing really rubbed me the wrong way, but I know first hand how much it sucks to have basically half your audience bitching you out for a decision you made that you were confident with. Either way, it's looking good. Can't wait to see Null and Starlight have more of a chat in the future.
I don't mind, you just need a little break from a story.
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Yeah, but if you remember I mentioned that it's unlikely because he doesn't have good emotional management/ and the author didn't for some reason gave him time in his 1000 YEARS imprisonment a plan. Considering how long his been in prison he should have at least made a plan if he breaks out, but doesn't. Don't make the "his just a kid so his plan wouldn't work" again. A 1000 years is long enough for someone to think things through to all possible outcomes/flaws when it comes to the plan. Even if a person is a complete idiot can still make a decent plan as long as the person throughout the 1000 year imprisonment thought things through and thought of flaws in his plan to fix. Thanks for pointing my misunderstanding of the word "pluasable". I think it was mostly an a lack of sleep when I was reading that comment since I usually don't make mistakes like that.
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it's more that he gave up on ever getting out, despite luna's efforts. why plan if you don't expect to get out?
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I will also add to write down any idea that comes to you immediately. Use your phone, a scrap piece of paper, a napkin, anything. Hoping to keep it in mind until you get home or sit down to write will guarantee that you'll forget it.
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Not directly related to this story, as I'm already several chapters behind, but you are so right; stories need a point to be made.
I liken it to a road trip:
The author is the driver. The readers are the passengers.
If the driver doesn't tell anyone where they're going, then everyone will guess where the road is taking them. Landmarks will come and go, time will pass, ideas will be shared. Hopes will rise as the direction may have several places and things they hope for.
After a while, several turns, and a direction change, no one will have a clue where they're going. Only that they're in a vehicle, and are being taken somewhere; a place only the driver knows.
Driver's gotta drop hints or point at a direction, then say, "It's gonna be a bit, but we're driving that way." Otherwise, no one will want to stay for the whole trip. Some will complain, others will stay eager, others will become critical; the driver will lose the thrill of the surprise reveal after a point, and may blame the passengers for the trip.
Gotta keep the finger pointing where the goal is, otherwise all the trip is going to be, and currently is, can be summarized as 'people in the car are talking during the drive, a lot; but nothing's really happening'.
Turn on the metaphorical radio, fill in the space, but keep the passengers entertained.
Self reflection and personal realizations only go so far to keep readers hooked, before they just stop looking forward to updates and pop in every so often to check comments for anything that seems interesting to them, or that the story is completed; one way or another.
That's just overall, not specifically pertaining to this story, which I enjoyed the first book of, and up to Memories and Treasures in this one.
Take your time! Keep up with good work!
With the virus bullshit going on, I've been bored enough to start going through my steam library to go and get achievements on alternate versions of the games I've actually played in there. I've got all the achievements in two versions of skyrim, both dark souls 1 games, and I'm working on the old ff7 port tomorrow if I can make it work. Too bad the remake is both not on pc, and not the entire original game.
Ff7 doesn't have achievements though as far as I recall.
Dude I'm just glad your story isn't dead
yo deka nice chapter and if you need to ball some ideas you know where to find me XD and take your time and deal with one thing at a time make life a hole lot more easier then have 6 things to deal with constatly
It was a nice addition to the story. Take care of yourself. I look forward to where you're taking this.
Null x Starlight???? Yes please
It was a great chapter, if kinda short. Xd
Hope you have better luck with geting a job. 👍
I rather like where the chapters are going. Just because something SEEMS to have been taken care of does not mean that it will not reappear as a problem again. That is how things work in real life, so it should also be in a story. I mean in the series, how many times were Fluttershy's issues dealt with? The same few were done five or six times but in different ways. It happens like that I.R.L. so no judgement here.
Lets just hope that no one else complains about stupid things like in the last chapter, not saying some of the complaints weren't justified, but a lot of the stuff with the whole "he should never ever forgive Celestia and if he does it ruins the story completely" was so stupid and kinda annoying to be honest. I for one am looking forward to future chapters and can't wait to see how the story goes, things are looking to be interesting thats for sure!
Personally I don't think you should retcon the previous chapter, but I DO think Rarity shouldn't go through with doing that to him. Or if she does she receives an appropriate backlash from Luna for going and humiliating somebody in distress.
Here's hoping your job hunt goes well!
Hmm... I have nothing special to say. Your amazing story left me speechless.