I’m a human with a love for all types of art either it be music or drawing. I’m kind but a little shy. Glad to meet you. Visit my New Frontiers Discord Channel! https://discord.gg/zgZ6Fmv
Page generated in 0.117 seconds
Total duration
949 users online
1,942,274 hits today, 2,064,738 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Huh, I was wondering if you were still writing, it seems so.
Some spelling and grammar errors but otherwise not bad.
9889147
Ya, I just needed a little inspiration is all.
9889160
I'll go back through. I wanted to get this out as soon as possible before I forget.
Interesting I look forward to seeing where this goes whether the outcome is good or bad a good first chapter
Hmm, I will watch to see where this goes.
Had to make a small change, but I realized I couldn't fit the CMC into the story.
Ohh suspense
chapter 1 and already on hiatus? welp....as the queen would say, another one bites the dust, press F to pay respects to this story
9892944
Ya, this went in a completely different direction than I intended and I have to come up with a new timeline. I'm pissed too because of what I unintentionally did.
9892948
shame, I liked this, either way lol I didn't expect a response to my comment so soon! rarely if ever do I get a reply from others
9892951
This is pretty much my life so I like to stay connected. I might post another story while I make another road map for this. Sorry for any inconvenience this may have brought.
9892953
tis fine lol, I'm just sad to see a great idea suddenly die like a dodo bird meeting a shotgun, you have hangouts? I'd love to chat with ya on there bout random things, story ideas, oc's, an other crap XD
9892959
Yup
I love how people still refuse to admit griffons are useless (Gallus is a step up for sure) and were never as cool as the fandom wanted them to be.
9931350
Eh, I just did this because why not. Why not give them the potential the show neglected
Bad.
Alright. Go through and edit. Right now you have a lot of grammar, spelling, and syntax mistakes. However, for all that, it has a good flow and I have definitely read worse. Try a program called grammarly, it helped me out for quite a bit. It would be even better if you invested in a book on grammar and writing but, I can understand a lack of finances on that front. Besides that is what YouTube is for.
9941513
Thanks
9941554
No problem. Asking for criticism should be rewarded not dismissed. I am just sorry that others here don't feel the same.
9941555
Ya, I'm not one to defend my work. As long as people don't just complain about everything and expect me to fix it without knowing how I'm supposed to.
Hey glad to be of help. Work on your dialogue next. Show don't tell.
9944163
What? I'm not very good at context. Somewhat oblivious. Mind explaining
9944261
You tend to tell us things through narration when using the dialogue of the characters would be more effective. Telling us instead of Showing us through character action. You are not the worst at this and honestly the improvement of your grammar has polished this wonderfully. There's a great YouTube channel called Writing with Jenna Moreci. Lots of advice that helped me out. She's also pretty snarky and sarcastic so that adds to things.
9944775
Many thanks
caribou ? it was the caribou wasn't it sound like it is the caribou or if not slavery of some kind
Why a fox
10004893
Mostly because it's my favorite animal also I wanted the MC different
What part of Georgia?
10024606
... Why?
10031385
Im from there
10031531
Near Metro Atlanta
10031583
Nice i live 20 mikes from there
Heh, I was wondering when Gilda was showing up.
Piece of advice, try using dialogue instead of straight description and watch for redundancies. Look into a website called hemmingway. It helps... A lot. I use it.
10098893
Okay. Thanks... Actually, I think this is the second time you helped me.
10100037
Probably, I do tend to be nosey.
Fuck
10126602
Is it bad?
This whole story idea; reminds me of 'Red Dawn' from both the old and the new.👍😁
10154963
Really? I've never seen it so I guess there could be a couple parallels that I never knew.
Why do people delete their comments, it only makes it look bad on the story and look like I deleted them. I dun like it.
Man did I enjoy this story you did a amazing job on this story so far, I hope you write another chapter soon
No problem have with your story f*** the kid kill them with a knife but we can't shoot them what's your excuse for that why do they have the same guns as us?
10644741
Not gonna lie, it was for total convenience and would be much easier to write.
10644999
Good enough for me
So somehow the griffons have more the 20.5 million soldiers to overwhelm earth
Billions of soldiers? How would he griffin army feed and finance a billion over a billion soldiers
10680280
Yeah, that's on me. I should have been more clear about what was going on there. It isn't just Griffin, but also a huge changeling army ranging in the billion. It becomes more clear in later chapters that I will start publishing again. I plan on continuing this.
👍👍👍👍
hope they will find a way to help the caribou with their problem
"The Empire has been liberated, but the creatures who freed them are Caribou." I looked through the binoculars and saw one of the Caribou... I'm not going to explain what he was doing with that griffin. Damn, that's brutal.