• Member Since 25th Mar, 2020
  • offline last seen May 13th

Aydan Zamora


I like to write, so I write.

T

It was the year 1015 and the Great War between the Changeling hegemony and the land formerly known as Equestria was finally drawn to a conclusion. While Queen Chrysalis and her fascist dictatorship suffered a devastating defeat, by the time the dust settled after 5 years of bloodshed, a new order rose from the ashes. One that was poised to shake the very foundation of the world.

The immortal Princess Celestia, in her desperation to save her little ponies from the onslaught of the changeling armies, turned to the most ancient source power of Ponykind: Hatred. And while, eons ago, the strife of the three tribes turned the northern part of the continent to a frozen wasteland, her rage turned the princess into the evil incarnation of the sun: Daybreaker. A twisted, cruel, egomaniac, committed to bend the entire continent to her will.

Her little sister Princess Luna tried to ignite a revolution against the tyrannical oppressor, but it was swiftly and mercilessly put down by the battle-hardened veterans of the imperial army. But those who hoped this, if nothing else, ended the bloodshed for the moment, were wrong. 

The self-proclaimed Goddess, caught blindsided by the betrayal of her beloved sister and five out of the six elements of harmony, was enraged and sworn to exact a revenge the likes of which the world had never seen before. After a few targeted assassinations, and a horrifying demonstration of the power of a new class of incendiary, “Napalm” bombs on Ponyville, and she turned her attention to the beloved children of her late sister: The Batponies.

Daybreaker quickly established a new government branch; the Bureau of Genetic Diversity. This hodgepodge of a pseudo-scientific think-tank, an independent and unappealable judiciary, and a secret polive was a thinly vailed attempt to justify, legalise and administrate the genocide of the entire Thestral race. 

And as so many times before in history, science bowed down to politics to create a justification for whatever horrors she wished to unleash upon a nation. In a mere 12 month at least 90 percent of the six million batponies were rounded up, tried and executed. Some of the rest fled the country, but most of them simply disappeared in the carnage as rounding errors. 

Our story happens somewhere in that 12 months, in an unnamed jail somewhere near Vanhoover. Just two ponies in a small room, an Earthpony and a Thestral, a lawyer and a defendant meeting for the first time.


This is my entry for the The Third Annual Equestria at War Writing Contest!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 19 )

No. Just, no.

10164323
Care to ellaborate?

The Moon will Rise Again.

10164377
Wouldn't quite bet on it, but one can only hope.

10164376
I hate this concept. Bat-ponies are still ponies, damn it!

10164583
I mean, yes. That's what makes this whole charade so horrible. I don't think I ever implied bat ponies are not ponies. What made you think I did?

10164626
Nothing, I'm just expressing my slight frustration with the EAW subreddit.

10164636
Well, then feel more than welcomed to read the story itself.* Maybe you will feel a certain sense of vindication even. And if you want even vent your frustrations with the subreddit. Please not here, this is hardly the place, but if you want you can write me pm-s about it. I know that place fairly well and I had my fair share of grievances with the people over there, so maybe I can be of some help.

*Sorry for the assumption but you gave away the vibe, you didn't.

Comment posted by VaveenaLockfire deleted Apr 5th, 2020

Enjoyable read!

I didn't find this tale boring or really slow at all. Dusk Star or Sunshine Happiness was a well made character. You weren't suppose to really like him or understand until later, though I appreciate your boldness in making us wait to see how broken he really it until the end. I was really upset with Dusk, like almost violently so, until the end and I just felt a cold pity for the batpony.

The world building was also pleasing as I was given just enough to see this version of Equestria but there was room to tie my own conclusions about some things.

I liked it enough to put it on my shelf :3

10165061
I applaud you for being able to feel pity for Sunshine, God knows I can't.

I don't understand the low ratings, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

10266582
Me neither, my best guess is that some people read the description, and thought it was just run of the mill edgy fic about a genocide. Not sure though, we should ask the downvoters I guess.

This was a very engrossing read.

The characters where very well written. Both where very well fleshed out and we got to know them both well. The conversation between the two was also very well done without a dull beat at all. I loved with how subtle the world building was and how you drew it all together.

I didn't notice a single issue with your spelling or grammar, which is great. It really helps show how much effort you put into this story.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this. Even if the subject matter is depressing. :twilightsheepish:

10286668
Yes the subject matter is depressing, but I wanted to show what the price of free will is.

If you look at the two main characters before the start of the events of the story Cinder and Dusk are not that different. They both want power and prestige (either through the accumulation of money or by getting into powerful positions as a lawyer) they both want plenty of women and otherwise they want to be left to their own devices.

One chose the side of righteous resistance and was gifted the peace of death, the other gave up his free will because he thought he can live in a world where he has none, and bought himself 50+ years of suffering on the planet.

Hi, this was reviewed here. Thanks for picking me as a reviewer and I hope you found what I had to say helpful. Deuces!

Interesting read, in a good way. Depressing topic, but well written.

It reminds me of a short story I read long ago, but can't remember the name...

11042867
Thanks, I did try my best. I wish it had better like dislike ratio, but I reckon I would have to improve to achieve that.

11047547
I don't think it's your writing that is getting the dislikes, I think it is just the topic itself.

Not saying the topic is bad, just the more...dark or depressing or whatever the correct word is, get more dislikes, regardless of quality or content. I don't know why, but thats just the way it seems to be.

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