*Cover Image URL:
https://static.fjcdn.com/large/pictures/e2/b5/e2b5e7_3502474.jpg*
Pinkie Pie has always had a secret crush on Equestria's kindest animal caregiver, but she has always feared a relationship would never work due to their differences.
However, after seeing Spike's Rarity Doll, Pinkie manages to find herself a perfect doll-version of Fluttershy, which she soon grows to love spending every day with.
With Pinkie and the named "Flutterdoll" having so much fun, how will a certain pegasus feel when she is left feeling abandoned by a fabricated replica? Can the two mares save their friendship or will something more develop?
Chapters (3)
Nice.
Is this a sequel?
Oh my gosh! This is already so wholesome🥺
I’ve been dying for some Pinkieshy content for a hot minute, and this is unbelievably sweet! Can’t wait to see where it goes!✌️
I'm tracking this-
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Actually no. This is its own separate story.
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This is where it's going. (Click)
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UPDATE:
Finally managed to discover how to make proper horizontal line breaks. I edited the chapters so the breaks between scenes look much better now. Let me know if you notice anything else. Thank you! :)
Normally I don't read PinkieShy fics, but this one is cute. I'll like this-
Okay, I appreciate the sentiment here, but you really don't need to make any real mention of this. At most, this deserves a note in the story description telling use when the story takes place, but it certainly doesn't require you to bring the story to a screeching halt and mess with the story's tone so earlier on in what you admit to be a jarring fourth wall break. Heck, unless I'm missing something, it seems to me that pre-finale-set fics are much more common that post-finale ones, so it really doesn't need to be stated. Had you not said anything, I'd have just assumed it to have been set before the series's end. Heck, if not for the mentions of the School of Friendship, I wouldn't even pin it down to a specific season - could have happened any time from season 5 to season 8 or 9 and it wouldn't have made a difference.
So, yeah, it wasn't needed and, to be honest, while I can appreciate the odd poke to or lean on the fourth wall, this kind of direct, on-the-nose breaking of it just doesn't fit here. Heck, even in a story where that's the whole point, it can be difficult to pull of and in a story that otherwise doesn't get remotely meta, it just does not belong.
One, that's a comma splice and two, the phrasing impliest that ending their friendship would be the result of Fluttershy forgiving her. Which... I mean, I guess Pinkie wouldn't be expecting that either, but I don't think it's what you mean.
"afternoon nap", I think, unless Spike's got into some very strange hobbies. Though, to be fair, I've been that sleep-deprived sometimes too, so I guess I can't really judge.
"...as she paid closer..."
So, yeah, I'll give my thoughts on the story as a whole in a comment on the final chapter, just wanted to let you know about a few of the mistakes in this one.
I like the fic overall. To be honest, the grammar and prose are kind of shaky at many points and there are a few moments that took me out of things, though none as bad as the sudden swerve through the fourth wall in the opening chapter, but overall it was rather sweet, the idea and the actual plot, if you can call it that, was pretty clever and everyone felt very in-character. Plus, I like how you actually take the time to establish what specifically they like about each other and why a mutual attraction might form.
So, yeah, not a perfect fic by any stretch, but a nice one, I think.
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Whoops... yeah lol. I made sure to proof read everything before I posted it, yet I'm somehow finding more and more errors as I'm going through multiple readings. (I guess I need to work on my editing skills...)
But I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to point out some of the flaws and grammar errors in my writing; if it wasn't for you, I may not have noticed some of them myself so I really do thank you for giving me the chance to improve.
Your critique at the end was very nice as well. Characterization/Character Development is my main focus whenever I create a story so I'm glad to see you feel that the characters were portrayed well. I remember hearing a quote once - "You can't save bad characters with a good story, but you can save a bad story with good characters" and I personally feel that statement is true, the characters make or break a story for me especially so I'm honored I was able to achieve my goal.
Thank you for the comments. Happy Reading!
This was honestly really good and cute and had the right amount of drama. Nice work