Tending to the Heart's Forgotten Garden

by Botched Lobotomy

Last Breath at Eternity's Gate

Hey, it’s been a while. I think this is going to be my last diary entry. When Sunset suggested it, I needed this. A few years later, I didn’t need it any longer.

It feels strange to be thanking a book, but...thanks. Whether it’s the paper I’m writing on I’m thanking, or the Wallflower in the future (I hope it’s you, I’d probably die of embarrassment if anyone else was reading this): thanks for being patient with me. But I think it’s time for change.

The school was just what I expected. As in, I expected it to be completely different, and it was. It’s not even a school anymore, just a building, a big, empty building that the sign in front says they’re trying to turn into a sports centre. Well, I left some money in the donation box, and went round to check it out.

The whole thing’s overgrown, of course. The only reason it wasn’t when I found it first, the only reason I made a garden there at all, was because the stone was there. Its magic kept the woodland clear, and now, without it... Well, I found it, that’s what matters.

They’re going to have a hell of a job turning the place into anything. The whole building’s covered with ivy (oops), and it’s spread to most of the trees nearby, as well. Makes the forest much darker than it used to be, and that gives off a bad impression, thought I know it’s healthier than ever.

Pushing through the undergrowth, I found the rocks I spent so many years attending, covered now with lichen and half-buried in the leaves. The spot I found the stone is in there somewhere, but I didn’t try to find it. Not sure if I could. Why bother? With so many memories in such small space, I didn’t feel like digging up the bad ones.

So I sat there, and opened up the sandwich that I’d brought, and listened to the forest, louder and more vibrant than the distant drone of cars, full of life and energy. I saw the ivy, thick and lush, grown so strong in twenty years I hardly recognised it. I saw the school, where I’d met Sunset, where so many little, happy days were passed, and smiled.

I finished my lunch. I drank my water. I turned to go...and there it was. I’m not sure how I missed it coming in, nor when I sat in admiration of the forest, but there, as I was leaving, a sunflower blocked my path. Big and bright and beautiful, its petals opened wide to soak the sun, tall and strong and impossibly bold amongst the ivy. There were no others around, the trees were broad – it had been planted, it must have been; the only explanation for this small miracle. I ran my hands along its leaves as gently as I could, poured the last of my water out at its base. Bent to smell the slightly bitter scent, admire the loud and yellow petals.

If no one comes and cuts it down (and what reason would they have to?) it should be there still, blossoming in the summer sun. When autumn comes, the leaves will die, petals shrivel – but the seeds will drop, and maybe, in a year or two, if that sports centre ever gets proper funding, some kid will come along and find a grove of bright sunflowers, stretched out beneath the ivy.

A mark of what has been, and what can be, bursting at the seams with possibility. Blooming in the ivy: a spot of brilliant joy.

Sunnybuns

23:12
Do you want to try that again?

23:12
Hmm?

23:13
I believe you had a question for me last night.

23:13
Ah
23:14
Do you want to call?

Sunnybuns. Call duration 0:38.

23:56
Hope that was better than last night

23:57
I’m going to give you hell about last night for the rest of your life, I hope you understand that.

23:58
Awww
23:58
Can’t I just say “I love you” and get a pass?

23:59
That might help. A little.
23:59
A very little.

00:00
I love you, Wally

00:00
Love you too, Sunnybuns.

00:01
:[
00:02
What the hell is sunnybuns
00:02
That better not be what you have me saved as

00:03
Sorry.

00:03
No you’re not

00:04
No, I’m not.

00:04
How long has that been a thing?

00:05
Since you told me to.
00:05
Here:

---

Two souls. Beginnings. Inescapable connection.

---

00:06
I cannot believe you

00:07
Love youuuu ;)

00:08
Ugh
00:08
Love you too

00:09
Forever, always?

00:09
Of course <3
00:10
Forever and ever.

Comments

[The Sleepless Beholder]

This, especially the messsages at the end, felt painfully real.

I hate this so much yet it's absolutely perfect and sad.

Great job!

[TCC56]

Yeah, gonna echo Beholder on this. This ached in a good way - it hurt proper. The texts felt right, too, for a more modern relationship.

[Botched Lobotomy]

10763193
10767994

Thanks, I appreciate it! Glad I was able to get across the appropriate level of happy-sad there

[SecretFun]

My favorite writer tbh

[Botched Lobotomy]

10797088
<3 Right back atcha

[Dave Bryant]

I am pleased you found such an a propos way to display the award ribbon!

[Botched Lobotomy]

10799918
Heh, I thought it fit. Didnt even have to change the size, the native resolution happened to work perfectly for the cover art!

[Duskwingmoth]

It didn't hit as hard for me, personally, but I can absolutely see why this won the contest. This is actually incredible.

[PresentPerfect]

00:02
What the hell is sunnybuns
00:02
That better not be what you have me saved as

00:03
Sorry.

00:03
No you’re not

00:04
No, I’m not.

How you gonna hit us with this gem and then end on that note. D:

I coulda kept reading this for ages.

[Botched Lobotomy]

10995507
Aww, thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

10994218
also, so glad someone caught this

[Your resident Night Owl]

this is kinda sad, made me want to cry. buy in a good way.

Very good story 10/10 would recommend

def going into my favs

good work, it shows your skill if you can actually get your readers emotional especially if you wanted them to feel the certain emotion.

[KwirkyJ]

I see in your words the same pain that has claimed the heart of me. A day may come when this courage of mine sails, when we reclaim friends and make new bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of whims, and banished tears, when the world of Men comes rushing in, but it is not this day. This day we cry.

I am at a loss to express my reaction without sounding consummately pathetic. Even setting aside the matching of resonant frequencies, this was absolutely brilliantly written... The texting reparteé (with timestamps to suit and the glorious contemporary references), the diaiy voicing, the threads and elements that weave across the brickwork of a melancholy narrative...

Thank you.

[Botched Lobotomy]

11038363

Thanks for leaving such a great comment! I'm delighted you enjoyed it so much (if enjoyment is really the right word... ). It really means the world.

[Ice Star]

ouch what the fuck

This is amazingly written and heartfelt but also WHAT THE FUCK

[Ice Star]

11134246
You are evil

[Botched Lobotomy]

11134253
11134249

Sorry not sorry, thank you

[Ice Star]

11134265
No, thank YOU for writing this

[Voidwalker]

I had planned to read another story after this one before going to bed. That's... clearly not gonna happen anymore.

Hm. I'm conflicted. Depending on interpretation/the angle of your perception, this could be a heart-warming story full of hope. She endured her hardships, she pushed through and came out the other side. Life goes on. And that image with the single sunflower among the ivy is just... beautiful. Even though it makes me wonder: Considering how little I know about sunflowers, I assume that for a single one to grow there, it had to be planted very recently, does it not? So maybe Sunset had been around not too long ago.

Oooon the other side, though, this is heart-breaking and sad, as it lays bare that nothing is sacred, nothing is timeless and eventually, given time, even the strongest bonds will succumb. There is no 'happy ever after'. Just 'happy for some time before it gets really nasty (again)'.

I think... what you can take from this story heavily depends on what nature and mindset you, as a reader, have. And I'm a pessimist at heart. Always have been, always will be. Many of Wallflower's lines hit uncomfortably close to home. Feeling like she was made to be alone. Feeling like she unlearned how to have a normal conversation. Desperately wanting to not wake up alone.
It's bleak.

On an unrelated note: I wonder if Sunset just returned home. And I mean, like, Equestria-home. If she's hurting this much, getting as far away as possible must be a tempting prospect, and there's not much farther away than another reality.

I wholeheartedly agree with Ice Star's sentiment:

Thank you for writing.

[Bicyclette]

Hey, it’s been a while. I think this is going to be my last diary entry. When Sunset suggested it, I needed this. A few years later, I didn’t need it any longer.

oh dang, i totally thought this was going to be at the end of her life, given the title!

The school was just what I expected. As in, I expected it to be completely different, and it was. It’s not even a school anymore, just a building, a big, empty building that the sign in front says they’re trying to turn into a sports centre. Well, I left some money in the donation box, and went round to check it out.

augh, the themes of change and never going back to what things once more, and the mundanity of it all. i love it so much

They’re going to have a hell of a job turning the place into anything. The whole building’s covered with ivy (oops), and it’s spread to most of the trees nearby, as well. Makes the forest much darker than it used to be, and that gives off a bad impression, thought I know it’s healthier than ever.

love that the ivy got a callback, and wow, what perfect symbolism

If no one comes and cuts it down (and what reason would they have to?) it should be there still, blossoming in the summer sun. When autumn comes, the leaves will die, petals shrivel – but the seeds will drop, and maybe, in a year or two, if that sports centre ever gets proper funding, some kid will come along and find a grove of bright sunflowers, stretched out beneath the ivy.

A mark of what has been, and what can be, bursting at the seams with possibility. Blooming in the ivy: a spot of brilliant joy.

augh, chills! tears, almost! dangit, Botched, you’ve done it again!

00:02
What the hell is sunnybuns
00:02
That better not be what you have me saved as

and “Sunnybuns” having been there the whole time, augh. so much full circle on everything

00:09
Forever, always?

00:09
Of course <3
00:10
Forever and ever.

well, my heart feels like it’s been ripped from my ribcage. it’s almost midnight here, and i’m just left staring off into space, sitting with my feelings, you know?

dang, Botched, what can i even say? i’m just glad that the SunFlower Contest judges picked this for first because they were very right to. this was just exquisite. and i both regret not reading this earlier because it deserves so much to be read by everyone, and am thankful that i am getting to it only now so that the me of the present can be here to savo(u)r the experience of reading this for the first time.

just, thank you for writing what you do. i am so very glad you exist!

[PaulAsaran]

You can has review!

[abrony-mouse]

found this gem through the front page review through Paul Asaran! just wow, mare! incredibly readable

did a silly smol review on the first 4 chaps https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/1040576/review-tending-to-the-hearts-forgotten-garden-botched-lobotomy-random-recommendations-in-50-words-18