Silent Wind is a Former renowned Assassin who ran from his past many years ago, He isn't known much anymore, but that doesn't mean that the Canterlot royal guards haven't kept a bounty on him for multiple Assassinations and also a former member of an Dangerous and secret assassination guild known as "The Silentblades."
So, he moves to Ponyville to make sure that he doesn't get executed by the royal guards of Canterlot. He get's help from six ponies and a certain Lavender Mare.
The strange thing is how badly they want Silent Wind, he can't be special.. or is he?
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Read the Sequel, Assassin's Tears 2 here!
Chapters (6)
Great so far! Can't wait for the next chapter
Amazing work, will be keeping an eye our for chapter 2
It needs to be proofread. there are a few grammatical errors but other than that its a good story. I'm more than willing to help you with a few things. Send me a pm if you are interested. I'll stick around to find out what happens next.
~HondaRider92
Wouldn't Rarity have seen Silent Wind's hidden blades when she took his cloak?
1248443 Dude they are called HIDDEN blades for a reason. they are probably in some bracelets
They're bracers that work w/ the sleeves to hide the throat stabby blades>>1250613
1250871 ah its just that whenever hidden blades come up my mind goes to assassin's creed
I'm liking the story so far
Even if it is moving a bit fast in some spots. it is a good story.
its a good story, but theres some errors and its fast paced in some places.
1282546 hahaha I know. Thank you.
This was.... Really short...
1313055Then maybe the plot points weren't fleshed out enough? Maybe more back story was needed? I dunno. Sometime feels wrong about the story...
1313325 I'll make a prequel after AT2 just be patient.
Awesomeness approved.
ooooooooo shiny your in for a BIG surprise
t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQE61e5eUw4WNb9fSYeuxJ8PBusTG2_vrjbob1yWYDFXenidx3Exw
"I was wondering.. if you could sleep with me." Twilight was getting shy by just saying it.
bow chicka wow wow
I smell a sequel
1399951 Uh pal, you should click more on the description. It shows a link to AT2
I have something to point out/give some advice or something
(i also know that this is like 7 weeks overdue)
1) You need to find a 'nickname' or something for Silent Wind. Having to read Silent Wind all the time gets tedious. What nickname? I can’t help you with that.
2) Take this extract:
"Silent Wind look to his right and saw that there was a Blond-maned Mare and saw that she was wearing a cowboy hat. She must be a worker here, Silent wind thought."
It becomes tedious and there is repetition that makes the sentence 'heavy'.
Try something like "Silent Wind looked to his right, there stood a Blond-maned Mare with a cowboy hat looking at him inquisitively. She must work here Silent Wind thought."
This will allow the sentence to 'lighten up' and makes it easier to read and in turn makes it more pleasant to read.
and lastly at the end when twilight asked Silent Wind about his past. That would have been a perfect time for him to have a flash back or something to his first kill as a filly or something like that(just a thought). At the moment we are about as clueless as twilight is .
But besides that Great story so far
Shit is about to hit the fan
Nicely done, the story is now getting into its stride.
just some constructive criticism
very your use of words
'Both Twilight and Silent Wind looked at each other, red-cheeked and blushing. It was very silent until both Twilight and Silent Wind spoke at Applejack.'
His name is Silent Wind so instead of saying 'It was very silent until both...'
Rather say 'It was very quiet until both...'
Also in the fight scene... It is a fight scene you want it to move 'quickly'. About halfway through you said 'The Dragon soon used its fire breath at Silent Wind. But he Silent Wind was very agile, he quickly dodged it and hanged onto the Dragon.'
We already know he is agile you pointed it out early on in the fight. Here a suggestion for this little extract 'The Dragon soon used its fire breath, Silent Wind quickly dodged it and hanged onto the Dragon.'
1549335 Your crticism is appreciated. But for a 13 year old like me, I usually do mistakes but I try not to do much. It's just that the thinking feeds on my boredem, which make me do mistakes like that. And first off, I wanted to keep the readers in mystery and that I would make a prequel to explain his life as a Silentblade. I've already submitted it but it has had slow progress so far. I've also already given him several nicknames that only some would use. For example..
Applejack - 'Win (get it?)
Twilight - Sile or Wind
Pinky Pie - Windy
Rainbow Dash - Windblower
Yeah, the name: Silent Wind is quite odd but I had no choice, If I had a OC name with "Shadow" in it, I would get hit Fim Critics. So I really didn't have a choice.
EDIT: Nice Editing skills, man. I'm on market for a Editor but I haven't found one yet. PM me if you're interested.