Chapter 7: What We Once Were!
Fluttershy awoke with hooves wrapped around her, her body weighed down by another laying on top of her, and able to see little else but the dreamy face of her friend, a friend whose muzzle lightly brushed against the side of her face. This was normal now.
Fluttershy waking up to find Rainbow Dash had ensnared her into an awkward position—in this case the cyan pegasus was hugging her, hooves wrapped around her body, and the athlete’s toned body sprawled on top of hers—was normal. Before, such an awkward wake up would have caused Fluttershy to blush, fluster, and start trying to worm her way out from underneath her bed mate. Now, she only blushed, the warmth of another mare’s gently pressed body being the cause for it, and chose to slowly usher Rainbow Dash out of slumber.
“R-Rainbow Dash… Rainbow Dash, could you please wake up?” Fluttershy said softly.
Such a voice would usually be too quiet to hear, but in their current position —wake up position number three Fluttershy had decided to term it—their heads were next to one another, and so her words trickled into the rainbow mane pony’s ear.
“Wuh-wha…?” Rainbow mumbled. She raised her head slowly from beside Fluttershy’s, and with half-asleep eyes, looked to her friend.
“R-Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy stuttered out. Though the frequently blushing pegasus had managed to compose herself in waking up to her sleeping friend, having the same mare—whom she could not help but find attractive—looking to and holding her when awake always got her heart thumping. “Y-You’re on… top of me… a-again. Could you please…?”
Fluttershy would have said more—mustered the rest of the words from her brain that was distracted by other, more bodily thoughts—but Rainbow Dash had already complied. Rainbow rolled off of Fluttershy… and off the bed.
“…Ow.”
“I’m pretty sure we shouldn’t be doing this.” Rainbow Dash stated with a clear voice, a deceitful voice that hid her nervousness unlike the beads of sweat running down her forehead.
Since Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash’s adventure in the Everfree Forest, one week had passed.
Fluttershy slid her hooves gently against Rainbow Dash’s as she whispered into Dash’s ear, “It’s okay, we can do this. Together.”
Within that week the two pegasus had enjoyed many a relaxing day, having grown used to the magical bracelets that had disrupted their former day-to-day activities, and even now had a routine for the day.
“I assure you, you’ll be fine,” Fluttershy continued to encourage her friend, her hoof remaining entangled with Rainbow’s, “You will feel really proud of yourself once you’ve finished.”
Also within that time, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash’s friendship had continued to prosper, and as of the moment they were engaging in their regular morning activity.
“Okay, I’m doing it.” Dash declared as she finally went along with Fluttershy’s suggestion, and did something she never thought she would be doing.
Rainbow Dash poured the milk into the bowl of cereal. Astonishingly, this time it did not catch on fire.
As if retrieving a useful tool from a treasure chest, Rainbow raised the bowl containing her breakfast meal above her head and proclaimed to the world, “I have made cereal!”
“Yay.”
Enjoying their time together, games were played as Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy competed in Battleclouds, chatted with friends, and went about enjoying their fellow connected ponies hobbies as best they could. This of course was much easier for Fluttershy’s interests than Rainbow’s, and as such, spending time with the animals was a more frequent activity than flying about at top speeds.
In turn with spending time with the animals, Fluttershy continued to fulfil her role as an animal caretaker, with Rainbow Dash stuck as her assistant. Luckily for her, she had been given a leave of absence from her weather duties—granted to her when Twilight visited the mayor to explain the duo’s situation and Mayor Mare began screaming hysterically, “Please don’t make me fall in love with a doll again, I’ll do anything!”
Twilight still regrets not asking for more funds to her library.
Like the majority of things the two did though, Rainbow Dash got used to working with the animals, and even enjoyed tending to the birds and flying insects. Other jobs would also arise though, and due to one such recent incident, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were up on the tree house’s roof fixing a hole.
“I can’t believe—nail,” Rainbow Dash asked for another nail, requiring one to fix the wooden board down with the hammer beside her, “that there was another one of those toast monsters.”
Fluttershy positioned a nail right where Dash needed it, and grasping a hammer in her mouth the mare began hammering said nail in.
“I-It was pretty scary, and to think it was right outside Rarity’s boutique. I’m so glad she and Sweetie Belle were at the Sisterhooves Social that day. I don’t want to imagine what it could have done to them,” Fluttershy voiced her concerns amidst Rainbow’s hammer time. “…I’m pretty sure it wasn’t toast though.”
Rainbow Dash spit out the hammer in order to reply, “I know it doesn’t look like toast, but it just reminds me of it, the way it wobbled and all.”
Fluttershy smiled back, quite assured that the two monsters that had been encountered recently were in no way related to toast. What they were was not a huge concern for her though, she was simply glad that they were able to deal with both of them, luring the second one to another, albeit hastily dug, trap-hole.
Speaking of trap-holes, an expert maker of such trickery was at that moment climbing up to the roof with a tray of tea and salad sandwiches balanced on his head.
Dash snickered gleefully, “Oh, is it grub time already?”
Fluttershy beamed at her favourite pet as she relocated the tray with delectable treats off of his head, and then gently onto a flat part of the roof. “Thank you very much, Angel Bunny.”
Angel’s ears picked up on these words of gratitude and he beamed a smug grin in response. Humbly taking the praise, he wasted no further time in handing to his owner a saucer and a tea cup, the latter filled with the calming green tea his owner liked. He then turned to Rainbow Dash, still with a smile on his face. It was with this continued smile that the rabbit went on to serve Rainbow Dash.
“Thank you Angel,” Rainbow replied warmly as she accepted her tea cup of cola.
Since Angel had learnt of the bracelets, understanding that it was not some sinister scheme of Rainbow Dash’s to steal his owner away from him, a vast improvement had been found in the relationship between the two of them.
The moment Fluttershy looks away I'm going to kick you off this roof.
“The moment my owner looks away I’m going to murder you.”
Perhaps it was not quite vast, but an improvement in how they got along was still true. So long as Fluttershy was there though—pleased to see that they were getting along—they were willing to postpone their fight. However, even if at that point they had begun trading blows they would have soon been interrupted by an attention grabbing shout.
“Rainbow Dash! Fluttershy! Down here!” was yelled up to the pegasi, who, along with the white furred pet, looked down from the roof to see Spike by the bridge.
“Hey Spike!” Rainbow Dash yelled back down to the smiling assistant. “How’s it going?”
The smile on the dragon’s face turned to a grin. “Great! In fact, I’ve got some good news from Twilight to tell you about.”
The pegasi’s attention had already been gained, but now their interests had been well—both of them leaning a little further over the edge, “Really, what news?”
“Twilight…” Spike began to say, but paused for dramatic effect, “… has figured out how to remove the bracelets.”
Rainbow’s gasp of excitement was so loud that Fluttershy’s response went unheard. Ecstatically, she then flew down to Spike in order to confirm, “Really, Twilight’s really, really?”
“Really, really.”
“Yes!” The thrilled pony yelled out, hooves shooting out to the air.
Spike watched Rainbow start an airborne dance of glee. He also looked on behind Rainbow Dash to see a dazed Fluttershy, whom had apparently been knocked to the side and stunned when Rainbow took off towards him as quick as she did.
Then Spike put two and two together. “Um, Rainbow, haven’t five seconds—”
Spike received the answer to his half-asked question when the bracelets magic activated, froze both the pegasus, and threw them into one another.
The dragon was unsure whether he should sigh with irony, babble on with concern, or start chuckling in amusement. So he did none of these things, just walked on up to the collapsed pile of ponies.
“Well, I’m not going to be missing this.” Rainbow groaned as she rolled her even more dazed friend off of her, stood up, and addressed her friend, “C’mon Fluttershy, no time to be lazing about, we have to get to Twilight’s.”
“O-okay.” Fluttershy mumbled as she was helped to her hooves.
“Yeah, about that, Twilight says she won’t be removing them today.”
Rainbow Dash did a mental flip at this piece of news, and after stuttering over her own fast paced words, blurted out, “Why not?”
“I dunno.” Spike shrugged, “She said she needed to double-check things, something about it being too simple. The point is she wants to see you tomorrow, once she’s finished checking things over.”
“Awww.”
“Okay then, though, if it’s not too much trouble, would it be okay if we visit first thing in the morning?” Fluttershy queried, having finally got her head steady.
“Should be okay,” Spike answered. Then, with a short bow, he then bid adieu. “Seeya tomorrow.”
“You too Spike!” Rainbow Dash called back to the dragon as he parted back to Ponyville.
As Spike left, voices became mute. That is not to say that sound was lacking—Fluttershy’s various pets made sure of that, birds tweeting and chipmunks munching. Angel was also in the process of hopping down from the roof, with his little bounces rustling the branches and stirred the leaves out of their place. This was also not an awkward form of silence; there were no words that either pony feared to say, only emotions stirring inside.
Rainbow Dash, of course, was the first to let loose her emotions, “Woo-hoo! No more bracelets, no more being stuck together! Isn’t this amazing Fluttershy?”
“O-oh, yes.” Fluttershy replied with a weak smile, her happiness being pushed down by… some other kind of emotion—something which bothered her.
“I don’t see why I should feel… disappointed at this news but… I’m just being silly.” The troubled mare set her mind to pushing away the oddly sombre feelings and focused on the general cheer oozing from Rainbow Dash.
“Yeah, we can finally do things we want to do!”
“R-Rainbow Dash is happy, so I should also be happy. I’m happy.”
“Now we don’t have to continue spending every second of our lives like some blissful lovey-dovey married couple!”
“…I feel sad now.”
The rest of the day was a blur for the two protagonists, albeit for different reasons. Rainbow Dash was filled with excitement, her mind—and in turn, her mouth—buzzed with ideas of what she would be doing once the bracelets were removed. As the two tended to the pets, she talked about how she would be performing every flight trick she knew. As the two went shopping for groceries, she talked about how she would scour the skies for the best clouds and make the cushiest bed in all of Equestria. As the two sorted out the groceries for Angel to cook up dinner, she talked about how she would clean her house—something she had never even done before having the bracelets on.
Fluttershy, on the other hoof, was troubled with conflicting emotions, and ultimately knew not whether she should be happy or sad—relieved or regretful. As the two ate their dinners, she mulled over her jumbled thoughts. As the two cleaned their teeth, she pondered why she was feeling anything negative at all in regards to what should be nothing but joyous news. As the two settled down into bed—accompanied by her pet rabbit—she remained awake with a heavy heart.
Rainbow and Angel slept silently, leaving Fluttershy only with her thoughts to keep her company. It was these thoughts that kept her awake, and within the silence the thoughts echoed, bounding from Fluttershy’s head before fading into the darkness of the night.
"I wonder when my feelings of friendship became something more?"
Fluttershy asked herself this question as she laid in her bed, her body taking comfort in the plush butterfly blanket over her while her mind remained ill at ease.
"I'm sure it couldn't have been immediately. I remember feeling grateful, and admiring her and us becoming friends but..."
Fluttershy's thoughts continued to roam at the forefront of her mind, troubling her, as the more she thought of her initial question the less likely she felt in finding an answer.
"I don't know when I started wishing we were something more, but I started too, and the thought of it was nice."
The yellow mare tugged on the blanket adorned with her cutie mark, though in shades of red and purple rather than her own pink ones, pulling the coverage closer round her.
"But then, before I could act, we went our separate ways."
The blankets began to move away from her but she did not notice as she stared blankly in the direction of the ceiling, overshadowed by pitch black darkness.
"But then we managed to meet again, only a couple of years later, but something had changed."
She raised her right hoof that contrasted with the palette of the night to her forehead, only just now noticing her coverless body.
"I didn't feel quite the same with her as I did back then, the more intense feelings I had...had faded."
If one could have been in the room, gone about unnoticed, and pierced through the darkness they would have seen a look of certainty that was rarely seen on the shy mare's face.
"I was sure then; that back then my feelings was but a crush and one that had disappeared forever."
Fluttershy turned over in the bed, and what she saw to the left of her made her look of certainty be replaced by its exact opposite.
"So why..?"
Fluttershy couldn't help but watch the fellow pegasus beside her, whose coat complimented the night's hues much better than her own, and whose mind was so at ease she was able to whistle a cheery tune in her sleep.
"Why are Rainbow Dash and I in bed together?"
Fluttershy eyes welled up with tears as memories emerged in her head and pain jolted from her racing heart.
“Why now? When I no longer love her, why is all this happening? Why…”
Fluttershy closed her teary eyes and forced her mind and body with every bit of will to succumb to sleep, to allow her an escape from herself.
“...Why am I falling in love with her again?”
This was Fluttershy’s last thought before her wish for sleep was achieved; however, while she was escaping from her thoughts, she was not escaping from her troubles. Fluttershy drifted to sleep, and found herself lost within the memories of her past.
The memories of her, and the best friend she loved.
I remember, treasure that day. That day long ago, when the two of us first became friends. It was when I was just a filly; I had decided to go to flight camp over the summer break. It was there that I had met Rainbow Dash, who appeared before me to defend me from those bullies. It was also the time that both of us got our cutie marks, and when the race was over and I was safely delivered back to flight camp, we got around to talking with one another.
“…and that is all one hundred reasons why I’m awesome.” Okay, it was mostly Rainbow Dash talking. “So, what about you?”
“Oh, uh, me?” I was quite content with listening to my friend talk—content with being able to apply the term ‘friend’ to another pony once again.
“Yes you. So far, all I know is your name and your ability to command a legion of demons.”
“T-there not demons.”
“You know, we could probably take over all of Equestria with your demon army.”
“T-take over Equestria!? ”
I was rather naïve then, and I only realised she was joking when she cheekily grinned and put her hoof a round my shoulder, saying with merriment, “I’m just kidding, we’re the good guys after all.”
I did not know how to respond to any of this. If it was with anypony else I would have assumed I was being picked on, but the comfort of her hoof on my body and the glow of her smile all served to calm me It made me know that she meant no harm and it was all said with a good nature.
“So Fluttershy, tell me more about you. I kind of need to know more about my friend than just her name.” Just her mentioning me as her friend brought a wide smile onto my face, one I could not stop. It felt good to be called someponies friend again.
“I-I’m… shy.”
“I would never have guessed.”
It was so strange how we became friends. We had so little in common and acted nothing like one another. Yet from then on, we were always together. The first thing we would do when we woke up each morning was find each other, talk about random subjects, and spend each day with one another. Rainbow Dash would spend most of it performing flight tricks and giving me pointers. I would spend most of it talking about different animals and trying to convince Rainbow Dash they are not an army of cutthroat demons preparing to lay waste to Equestria upon my command. Regardless of what we did and despite neither of us enjoying the other's hobbies, we enjoyed it simply because we were there together as friends.
Of course a problem was fast approaching, one that threatened our friendship. We had become friends at summer flight camp, and summer did not last forever.
“Say Fluttershy, what school do you go to?” It was only a couple of days until we would part, never to see each other again, and so this question was expected.
“Cloudsdale Public School.” Cloudsdale was well known for having several well-built, well-staffed, and well educated schools. Cloudsdale Public was not one of them. “And you, Rainbow Dash?”
“O-Oh I, uh… go to a different school.” With Rainbow’s stuttering words we both felt a sense of defeat, the chance for us to remain friends quite possibly gone forever. It was the first moment of uneasy silence between us and my thoughts at the time strayed into what it will be like to return once again to friendlessness. Rainbow Dash had by then been fidgeting, her hoof nervously pulling up clumps of cloud out of the current spot, before working up the courage to utter, “B-but I could always transfer there, after the summer break.”
I had looked up to her with moist eyes and asked despondently, “How?”
“I’ll… ask my parents, beg them if I have to,” Rainbow had started off by saying and then rose up to state some of the happiest words I would hear in my life, “You and me, we’re best friends for life! There isn’t anything that’s going to be separating us! So believe me, I’ll talk to my parents and come school time, we’ll be going together.”
I smiled, grinned even, and let out the loudest cheer I could. Rainbow Dash was right next to me, and she couldn’t even hear it.
I remember exiting the carriage not feeling sad. For the first time in a long while, pessimistic thoughts were banished from my mind, to which I had the knowledge of knowing that I would be able to see Rainbow Dash again when school started up to thank. As of that moment though, the only thing on my mind was running home and telling my parents all about my very best friend. Dad always worked late, but I could tell mum all about it, and stay up until dad got back.
I made my way along the bumpy path and arrived to a lone cloud house, lower down than most of the other houses and starting to dilapidate. This was my home. Despite my excitement, I made sure to push open and close the door gently—for fear of breaking it—and only then bounded as fast I could to see mum.
Due to poor fitness though, I was out of breath by the time I had reached her but she waited until I caught my breath.
“Oh mum, I’ve made a friend, I’ve made a friend!” I’m sure I spoke too fast for my mum to hear but she didn’t complain.
“Her-Her-Her name’s Rainbow Dash and she’s cool and heroic and, and…” I droned on and on about my best friend and my mum listened patiently to every word I had to say.
It must have been over an hour, just telling my mum about Rainbow Dash and all the things we had done together at summer flight camp. I made sure to leave out any mention of the bullies though; I did not want to worry her. Besides, with Rainbow Dash around, I never would have to fear bullies ever again.
I only stopped talking in fact when my tummy began to rumble and I realised how hungry I was, “I-I think I should go cook dinner, I’ll be back to tell you more about her mum.”
Then I went off to prepare dinner for myself, as well as for when dad would arrive home later. My mum smiled to this and watched me go without saying a word. It would have been a little scary if she had.
After all, photos don’t talk back.
Days passed, and I returned to Cloudsdale Public School for another new year. I arrived as early in the morning as I could so I could see everypony that arrived. Then I waited—in a corner where nopony could see me of course—until I could re-encounter my best friend.
It was not hard to spot a rainbow mane pegasus within the crowd of students, and I began to approach her. Slowly of course, running and calling out her name risked bringing attention to me, something I dislike even to this day. Unfortunately this was Rainbow Dash I was going to meet, and the moment she spotted me heading towards her, she did the exact thing I had been avoiding: running up and yelling.
“Fluttershy!”
As Dash sped on up to greet me, calling out my name, I froze. I could just feel it, everyponies' eyes briefly flickering towards me. But this was brief—they decided they were not interested in me or my friend—and went back to their own business.
“Hey Fluttershy, you’re zoning out.” Rainbow snapped me out of my worried thoughts, and brought my attention back towards her.
“I-I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash I—”
“Don’t worry about it.” Rainbow cut me off—as per usual—when I tried to apologise, grabbed me by the shoulder and began ruffling my mane.
After being freed from her grip with a now messy mane, Rainbow went on to ask me all the usual questions, and of course, talking about all the flying and racing she’s been doing. I was much happier when she talked about the latter; I preferred to listen than talk about myself. Our conversation was cut short by the ring of the school bell, and Rainbow began leading the way to the door.
“C’mon Fluttershy, I’m new here. You’ve got to show me around the place,” Dash told me while taking the lead to the school.
Her actions weren’t quite matching her words, though when she did reach the doors she did stop and wait for me. Then when I got there she continued to wait. For another few seconds, she continued to watch the doors impatiently, and began to stomp the ground with her hooves.
“Um… Rainbow Dash, we can go in now.” I was starting to worry about how the other ponies, who were just getting to the doors, would react if we were blocking the way.
Rainbow looked at me, clearly confused, and asked, “Are these door’s broken? They aren’t opening.”
I went up and pushed the doors open.
“O-oh, they aren’t… never mind, I knew that,” Rainbow Dash said as she walked with me into the building.
This was the first tip I had that Rainbow Dash went to a very different school before, and the first tip that she was from a quite different area of Cloudsdale than I was. She had never spoken much about her school, her home, or even her family back at flight camp. Instead, conversations were usually about her hobbies, her skills, and what she wanted to do in the future. At the time, I didn’t think much of it—I did not want to think my closest friend was hiding something from me—but as the day went on this became more apparent.
Dashing. Rainbow Prismatic Dashing. I remember distinctly how Rainbow cringed as soon as her full name left the teacher's mouth. When walking through the school corridors Rainbow would comment on the lack of paintings and portraits on the walls. She also found it surprising that the school lacked a swimming pool. The biggest giveaway must have been when Rainbow Dash brought in 30 bits to pay for a school lunch; it only cost her 3 bits here, and lacked hors d’oeuvres.
It became apparent that Rainbow Dash was hiding something, but I kept quiet about this. I was sure she had her reasons. She wasn’t very good at keeping it a secret though, and I eventually found out about it on her birthday when I had to fly over an electrified fence, sneak past security guards, swim across an outdoor swimming pool, and befriend guard falcons just to deliver her a birthday present. On my birthday Rainbow Dash did not have anywhere near as much as I had in delivering a birthday present to me.
As we spent more and more time with each other, we learnt even more about each other, about things we were afraid at first to tell the other like our backgrounds and families. It was truly miraculous how we managed to get along with such contrasting backgrounds, statuses, personalities, hobbies. We had so very little in common, yet we were always together—like magnets.
With Rainbow Dash around, I never would have to worry about bullies for too long. Even if we had been attending different classes, Dash would always—hee-hee—dash to where I was, and protect me. When she would get injured from the fights—scuffles she would always win—I would always help tend to her injuries. We would play games we both enjoyed like Battleclouds and hide and go seek, or ones we knew the other liked and enjoyed only for the company we were in, like bird watching and stunt flights. We really would go everywhere together and I have many fond memories of us together in Cloudsdale, like the time we found a small cloud tunnel where birds would hide in to rest, or when Rainbow Dash took me to a Starsong concert.
With our ups in life came downs, and as to be expected of our opposing personalities we would sometimes argue. Okay, Rainbow Dash would sometimes argue but it was usually my fault. Rainbow Dash would always endure my hobbies, and even if she made no attempt to hide her boredom or displeasure she would always stick with me through it all. When it came to some of her more active or dangerous activities I would be too scared to try, worried about the possibilities of things going wrong. We would always make up in the end, always remain friends, and it was one of these down moments that made me realise that maybe… maybe I did not want Rainbow Dash as a friend.
Rainbow Dash had been trying to get me to do a stunt with her. It was a risky stunt requiring two pegasi, and I knew there was no way I could do it, and so refused. Rainbow Dash got mad as I insisted I couldn’t do it and began to yell. Eventually she turned away from me, fuming, and I remained curled up, trying to stop my sobbing. Minutes passed, and as I would usually think in those times I began to think of how much Rainbow Dash must hate me. I was always so selfish, always holding her back, and I knew that one day even she wouldn’t be able to put with me. As these thoughts grew within the silent moment between us it became harder and harder to mask my sobs.
“Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash said quietly, and I looked up to her with teary eyes, her back facing me. “You should take up some sports… and become a Wonderbolt.”
“W-Why?”
“Because,” Rainbow Dash turned around, and pulled me into a hug, "then you'd be my three favourite things combined."
"Three favourite things?"
Rainbow pulled away from me, and after looking into those eyes—those clear, rosy eyes—she smiled. "An athlete, a Wonderbolt," Rainbow lifted a forehoof, and gently placed it upon my chest—upon my heart, "and you."
This compliment made me smile. It made me feel happy, safe, and… warm? Along with my smile and all sorts of happy feelings that arose in me I felt my heart racing. I felt funny, but in a good way, in a way I wanted to be.
Maybe I did not want Rainbow Dash as a friend. Maybe I wanted her as something more.
Over time, I realised that I liked mares… a lot. I would often overhear the mares at school talking about the stallions—their looks mostly—and hear the mares discussing the stallions' looks, their manes, their voices… and mostly their bodies. All I could think about where the sound of the mares' voices, admire their looks, and… think things… about their bodies. When I saw a mare and stallion hanging out together I thought nothing of it. When I saw a stallion and a stallion together I still thought nothing of it. However, a mare and a mare together? Every small touch, every sweet gesture, I misconstrued what were more than likely just friendships, but the thought of two mares together, romantically sharing hugs and kisses and… very special moments made me happy and envious at once. I wished that I could be one of them, to have a special somepony, and for some reason I wished for that special somepony to be a mare.
Over time I realised I liked Rainbow Dash… a lot. Slowly I wanted to hear every word she spoke, not out of courtesy, but simply to hear her voice. I looked at her face to face whenever I could, so that I could gaze into her pearly pink eyes, take in the sight of her firm jaw, and long for her daring smile. I even caught myself studying her body, my eyes would flitter up and down to inspect every curve, and then my heart and wings would both begin fluttering. I wished for a special somepony, I wished for a special somepony that was a mare. I wished for a special somepony that was Rainbow Dash.
I decided I wouldn’t act. What we both had—her and I—as best friends forever, I was comfortable with it and she was comfortable with it. I wanted her as my special somepony, but I didn’t want to be greedy, nor did I want to risk harming our friendship, so I stayed quiet about my feelings and stuck to enjoying our friendship. After all, it had always been just me and Rainbow Dash. Sure she was athletic and well known around school, but as for friends, she told me herself that I was the only one she considered a friend, and this had been true for several years now, so it always was going to be true. It’s not like Rainbow Dash would become really close friends with somepony else… and she didn’t become friends with somepony else
Gilda was a griffon.
When Gilda was introduced to the class, all of the ponies backed away. All except Rainbow Dash, who approached her excitedly. Rainbow saw Gilda—a big, strong griffon—as cool and interesting, and wasted no time in trying to get to know her. As for Gilda, I’m sure this made her really happy. They soon became friends, and as was natural to occur, Rainbow Dash introduced me to Gilda.
“And this is Fluttershy,” Rainbow announced to her feathered friend as she pushed my quivering, shaking body towards said feathered friend.
“H-h-hello Gilda,” I managed to mumble as I continually begged inside for her to not eat me.
Gilda just took one look at me with eagle eyes and huffed. She raised a lion paw towards me, and with loathing shook my unsteady hoof.
“Charmed,” I remember her forcing out of her beak.
Gilda scared me, though really, all ponies scared me a little. I guess I was being a little silly; Gilda had never done anything bad to me. She would sometimes glare at me when I got too close to Rainbow Dash, and sometimes push me out of the way when there wasn’t room for us to both walk alongside Rainbow Dash, but that wasn’t as bad as what the bullies would do. She just liked Rainbow Dash and didn’t like me; simple.
In some ways I was really glad that Rainbow Dash had a friend who was like her. Now she had someone to race against, and talk about sports, and preform stunts together.
Other times… other times I realised what it meant for Rainbow Dash to have a friend who could and would do all the things she wanted to.
“Hey Fluttershy, I don’t suppose you would mind if I hung out with Gilda today.”
I looked to Rainbow, aghast at her suggestion. This was the first time—outside of an argument—she had ever suggested not hanging out together.
“O-oh, are you two going to be racing? I could watch.” I didn’t want to be left out and we had done this many a time before, Rainbow racing and me watching.
“Y-yeah, about that,” my friend started to say sheepishly. “It’s going to be a long race I’m afraid, and there’s just no where for you to be able to sit to see it all. Besides, Gilda brought up a good point, you don’t like racing, and it must be really boring just sitting there and watching me all the time.”
“W-what? But I like watching you race.” This was a half-lie, it was true that I would get bored of it sometimes but I would like it if Rainbow liked it.
“Yeah, Gilda mentioned that you would say that. That is so like you, you’re such a kind friend, Fluttershy,” Dash replied as she ruffled my mane, “Seeya later Fluttershy.”
This was just the beginning. This happened again and again—more and more—the days in which Rainbow Dash would hang out with Gilda become more frequent and the time she spent with Gilda was becoming longer. Even more troubling was how Gilda was starting to influence Rainbow Dash. Now Gilda wasn’t a bad... griffon, and in a lot of ways she was like Dash, just more extreme in those ways.
When insults were thrown at them, while Rainbow Dash would ignore them, Gilda would argue back. When Rainbow Dash planned a prank, while she made sure not to go too far, Gilda had no limit. When Rainbow Dash got angry, while she would take it out on a wall, Gilda would look for a fight. When Dash dealt with a bully, they would come back to school the next day with a black eye, but when Gilda dealt with them, they would be in the hospital for days.
I was beginning to worry, how different would Rainbow Dash be when we finally got married… then I would end up daydreaming about our future together. Rainbow would become a Wonderbolt and I would travel with her, bringing along with me a few pets, maybe even help train birds to perform alongside Rainbow Dash in Wonderbolt shows. Then when Rainbow Dash retires, I would raise lots and lots of pets, all the kinds we couldn’t when travelling for Wonderbolt performances. We would adopt a few foals and when alone Rainbow would gently lay me on the bed and… I was in puberty back then! It was natural to have a few dirty thoughts.
I knew I was losing Rainbow Dash, and I had to do something. I sat by the table closest to the door in class and immediately ran to her class when the bell would ring. I would make my way to where her family’s chauffeur would drop her off for school each and every morning. I even made her lunch when dad had brought in enough money to afford it.
This was going really well until one day, when Rainbow Dash was off from school sick. It was the first time—outside of an injury—that Rainbow Dash had been off of school on sick leave. I later learned that she had caught conjunctivitis, and she was off the entire week. As such she missed out on the school’s week long period of sex education lessons.
Thinking about it now, that actually explains a lot.
“Look what we have here, Klutzershy without her deluded hero to protect her,” Hoops sneered as he and his larger friend approached me.
“What do we have here, a book. Can we have a look?” Dumbbell joined in the sneering, looking to the small book I held to my chest.
“I-I’m sorry but… I don’t want to show anypony… this.” I was sure I would die of embarrassment if anypony read what I had written.
“C’mon, we want to see it!” is what Hoops said as he pushed me over.
Both of them looked ready to pounce, to lunge atop of me and pry my story off of me… but they stopped at the sound of an eagle. Gilda descended before them, and roared, “Back off, dweebs!”
They did. Really, really fast.
“T-thank you Gil—” I stopped talking and merely “eeped” when Gilda’s paw shot out and snatched my book off of me.
She looked at the cover, studying the illustration and reading the title aloud, “The Rainbow Knight and the Shy Princess.”
I needed more subtle titles.
She turned towards me, eyes a blazing with anger. M-maybe she was upset that I hadn’t thanked her yet, so I tried to thank her again, “T-thank you Gil—”
“Look here you spineless puny pony!” Gilda snapped as she grabbed me by the back of my neck, and pulled me right up to her face, “You need to stop hanging out with Rainbow Dash.”
“What!?”
“You heard me, you need to stop hanging out with Rainbow Dash,” Gilda continued to threaten me. “You’re nothing but a weight to her—a shackle—you’re dragging her down.”
I had to admit, these were things I had thought of myself before.
“Actually, as much as I hate to say it, for some bizarre reason Dash likes hanging around you. So maybe you shouldn’t stop hanging around with her.” I shouldn’t have smiled at this because she then yelled out some more, “But as for flicking your little lovey-dovey eyes at her, the next time you swoon at her I’m going to tear your throat out!”
Every day from then on, every day I talked or played with Rainbow Dash, I made sure I was ready to lift my hooves up to my throat very quick.
Days went by, then weeks, then months. I was still able to hang out with Rainbow Dash because Rainbow Dash wanted to be with me, but every time Gilda was watching me. Even a hint of flirtation—not something I would purposely try to do—or affection beyond the realms of friendship, and she would send a glare towards me, or mime how she would gouge my throat.
It was difficult, and I was constantly afraid of the day Gilda would set forth with her threats, but I at least got to be around Rainbow Dash, so it could have been worse. Over time it did get worse, for Gilda was having it so Rainbow Dash was spending even less time with me. Then after that, Rainbow began to act oddly around me. She would try and say something to me, start a subject, but then stop and tell me that it didn’t matter. I was clueless for a couple of weeks until one day, as I quietly walked down the hallway; I heard Rainbow Dash and Gilda talking to one another from around the corner.
“Look Dash, this is a really bad idea.”
“Gilda sorry, but this is something I just have to do.”
It was very rude of me but I stopped just at the end of the corner, and began to listen in on their conversation.
“Dash, Dash, there’s no need. Just forget about it okay, you don’t need to say anything to Fluttershy.”
“I do!”
What, oh what is it that Dash needs to tell me?
“I can’t hold it in any longer; if I do I’m going to explode. Fluttershy means a lot to me, and I won’t be able to forgive myself if I don’t tell her everything. I need to do this.”
W-w-w-Wait! It couldn’t be! Could it?
“Don’t even try it Dash. Anything else would be fine but this; I know you’re going to chicken out of this.”
My heart had started to beat like a hummingbird's wings, every word spoken convincing me more and more that an impossible unrealistic dream was coming true.
“I have to do this Gilda. Tonight I’m going to Fluttershy’s house; I’ll sneak in through her window and tell her everything. Everything and nothing you say is going to stop me from doing this.”
Maybe I was jumping to conclusions, but at this point I was walking on sunshine. The world seemed so happy, so joyous, and life was worth living. I remained within this happy daze throughout the rest of the school day, and every time I saw Rainbow Dash that day, every time she asked me if I was okay, I would just giggle back at her puzzled face. Rainbow Dash was in love with me. She was going to tell me how she felt tonight!
I was able to greet my dad when he got home. He was surprised and pleased, though worried that I was still awake a little after eleven. Of course, that night I couldn’t sleep knowing what was going to happen. Rainbow Dash, crashing through my window, pouring her heart out to me, taking me in her hooves, tonight. I would have to appear natural, pretend I had not overhead her conversation with Gilda, and remain ignorant. Rainbow loved surprising ponies, and especially in this case I’m sure she would be disappointed if she couldn’t surprise me with this.
I was able to enjoy a short conversation with my dad though as he ate. As always, he was exhausted, so he soon went to bed, but being able to converse with him outside of a holiday was really enjoyable. It would probably sadden him but I was sure that what was going to occur was going to be the more enjoyable experience for me.
I sat in my room—on my bed—with my covers wrapped around me, too excited to sleep. My eyes would flicker over to the window, the window she would barge through noisily as always. I waited and waited as the hours ticked away, fully awake every moment of it and my ears keenly listening for any sign of her arrival.
I heard hoof steps outside my house. Soft and delicately pressing against the clouds outside as the pony sneaked around to the back of the house. Sneaked round by my window. I could hear the slow hesitant steps approaching my window, each one slower than the last, and each one making my heart beat harder and harder. It was the longest moment of my life and I could hear everything, including the breathing of the pegasus outside. I remained still, even at the slight rattle of a hoof grasping my window. My mind begged for Rainbow, the usually brash and speedy athlete, to hurry up with her entrance.
The sounds stopped though. The steps, the rattling, even the breathing. It stopped for a long while.
Then I heard them again, a hoof letting go of the window, a pony turning round, and a pegasus shooting off into the sky. I clambered from my position on the bed, pulled myself up to my window and saw her far into the distance. I saw Rainbow Dash flying off into the distance
Without ever saying a word.
I was disappointed but still happy. As I entered school and sat down for the first classes of the day I carried with me a reassuring thought.
“Rainbow Dash may not have confessed to me last night but I know that she loves me. I can be patient, I’ll wait.”
This thought carried me throughout the school day. I was lost in this joyous thought. I was so lost in fact that I did not the notice the lack of Gilda… or the lack of Rainbow Dash. They were absent the next day as well, and the one after that, and the one that followed, and every single day of the school year.
I eventually learnt from Rainbow's parents —questioning if I knew anything as they searched for their lost child—that Rainbow Dash and Gilda had both ran away from home. They had left to go travelling around the world. They—but more importantly, Rainbow Dash—had left me.
Abandoned me.
Without a word of goodbye.
That day, that night, as I tried to sleep away my woes, I stated to myself some of the saddest words I would say in my life "Me and her, we’re best friends for life. There isn’t anything that’s going to be separating us… so what did?
Commence read.
Ah, good old back-story.
*sigh*
Poor Fluttershy.
Backstory check. Bit sad story here, but very trustworthy. Good going. Keep it up.
and....3...2...1...SO SAD!
Okay, I really got more of a kick out of that line than I should have.
Overall, while it is a fairly sad chapter, I enjoyed it. I will be sad to see this end, I admit, but you know what they say about all good things (also, did I see a shout out to Keeping Your Hooves On The Ground, one of my all time favorite stories?).
This chapter is bad, and you should feel bad.
BRING BACK THE NEAR MISS SMOOCHES !!!
OW! not the feels! I thought i had them banished to the moon!
this prediction has been going through my head for a while now,
that the bracelets were used during a time of arranged marriages and would be put on the two ponies getting marred and won't come off until the marriage is consummated
Oh god when I read that line about pictures not being able to talk...so freaking sad.
"After all, photos don’t talk back." ... And it was with that sentence that my heart was broken... congratulations.
My feels.... I felt so sad for Fluttershy now. But it was really cool though, to see your take on their backstory and all that. I love that they were such good friends and spent so much time together, and sure, they had their arguments, but they always made up. After all, any good friendship is always worth saving. Their interaction and backstory together was so sweet! I loved it. And it was nice how Fluttershy was falling in love with her, and though she wanted her, was hesitant... And yet, accepted her own feelings, nonetheless.
Gilda....oh god. Wow, she sure was jealous. ...Bitch. X'D But yeah, it made sense. And honestly? I was planning to write a little backstory involving their childhood and what happened when Gilda came around! Coinky-dink! I'll give it a try, too. 8D
I'm guessing Rainbow wanted to tell Fluttershy she was leaving...but then couldn't do it, could she? Poor Rainbow...I wonder why she lost her nerve. Poor girl. But it was sweet that Fluttershy thought she would confess.
And then she left. D: So sad.... Without even saying goodbye. I guess, yeah, Rainbow couldn't do it because she wasn't sure she could face the feelings. Felt it was better to just go. But no.
Ah, yes! At least Fluttershy is admitting she's falling in love again! Yay! Those feelings never left. I guess she was just really depressed about it, tried to move on, and just, felt there was no chance. So she tried to push them away so she wouldn't disappoint herself. And this entire situation just brought them back together again. Being inseperable, spending all the time they could together. It was forced, sure, but it was there.
Oh yes, just as I thought. XD Rainbow's excited to be separated, and Fluttershy...while relieved, is, at the same time, still conflicted. After all, they spent so much time together, with good and bad times. And, well, she's falling in love again! Now it's like they'll be separated and might not spend time together again. It's perfectly understandable that she would feel this way.
Now I really can't wait to see how this all ends. You really beat us in the feels! But it didn't feel out of place or out of nowhere. We've had implications of how Fluttershy was feeling, most especially in the fact that she was undeniably attracted to Rainbow like she was. Then tried to kiss her. Aha! And now it all comes to this... Especially with what we saw in the beginning.
Okay, so now Angel and Rainbow have a bit of an understanding. At least when Fluttershy's around, but with her back turned, they really hate each other again. You know, Rainbow's getting a taste of Gilda's previous behaviour a bit here. XD Someone who's all jealous and won't let anyone come near Fluttershy if they intend to steal her away! Angel just has misguided intentions especially since Fluttershy has trouble standing up for herself, so there is still some good in his intent and it isn't just about possession. He just doesn't want anything bad to happen to her.
And I'm now calling Angel a new name in this story, Jigsaw.
Overall, this was great! I was so looking forward to this chapter and it didn't disappoint. Love it!
Once again, Rainbow's line about her three favourite things was so cute. Really shows that she was invested in their friendship too.
DEM FEELS.
Dang it, things were going so well, why do they have to suck so much?
This was a great chapter, I enjoyed seeing that Dash and Angel's "relationship" has improved ( barely). We got some good comedy with Rainbow cooking ( at least she's better than Sweetie Belle now) and Twilight talking to Mayor Mare.
Of course these things weren't really what this chapter was about.
We have fairly different headcanons about Dash and Fluttershy's families but regardless of that you portrayed their childhood fairly well. As soon as Dash started celebrating at the prospect of separating from Fluttershy I knew that this chapter was going to emotionally punch me in the gut, although I didn't realize how hard the hit would be until partway through the flashback.
The fact that Rainbow missed sex ed makes loads of sense within the context of the story. And like many others have done, it's pretty easy to interpret Gilda's actions towards Dash even in canon as possibly being a crush. I have to say though, she really pissed me off as she was supposed to. I have small problems with Fluttershy's fairly obsessive crush being something that never came up between the flashback and the beginning of Magnetism but I suppose I can buy it. The level of her fantasies is actually a bizarre amalgam of funny, adorable and sad. Overall I really liked this chapter.
Darn it Souldin, you've made me like Flutterdash almost as much as Pinkiedash... I suppose I can forgive you though since the story has been so great. Thanks for the update!
A lot of well placed, heavy emotional baggage here.
It's not often(if ever) I read about super-rich-girl Rainbow and poor-yet-humble Fluttershy. Makes you wonder if that particular past of theirs will catch up to them somehow other than their own feelings about present and past events.
Another story in which Gilda is a bitch? I've yet to tire over this characterization as authors often have a different take as to how she is an antagonist and so far it fills this story's potentially interesting future plot points.
1799333
Come now! Surely you recognize this other reference, do you not?..... Just in case:
1800144 Okay, I missed that one, and now I'm kicking myself.
Edit: and for proving me a fool, your comment gets a thumbs up from me..
All my love. Here, have an upward-pointing thumb.
Wow. I was not expecting a sad chapter.
Please, don't keep us waiting on this note.
"Then I went off to prepare dinner for myself, as well as for when dad would arrive home later. My mum smiled to this and watched me go without saying a word. It would have been a little scary if she had.
After all, photos don’t talk back."
ALL MY FEELS!!!
I felt like at that bit. Bravo good sir!!
Aah, I allways love the get more reasons to hate Gilda and rip her guts out.
I hate gilda... so much... i could just ...rrrrrrrrr...
Great chapter! Great Back story.... CANNOT WAIT FOR MORE!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D
(don't worry i am okay i just love this story)
Gilda im comming for you. I leave you 5 minute to fly away
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Beside exellent story
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1799341
Yes. Fluttershy will convert Dash to a colt. There will be horribly conflicted babies.
Considering Angel, I think I'm with Dash on this one.
Well this was mildly depressing.
Good but mildly depressing.
And there's one more thing I wanted to say, but had forgotten to in my original comment. I know some people might think that this is jarring and a mood whiplash. True, this story HAS been primarily a comedy, with the more dramatic undertones taking the back seat most of the time.
However, I think you made the transition from comedy to emotional drama very well. We have had plenty of seeds planted about the dramatic moments along the way, that although were little and few, still added to the story. You did well in bringing in the emotional aspects, then pulling it back. Putting it in again, and pulling it back.
So, really, the transition was seamless. It added to the planted seeds of the emotional drama, and really brought forth why Fluttershy loves Rainbow Dash and how, in some kind of way, it's bringing her old feelings right back. Because they never left.
I really think it went perfectly. Here's an example I'll bring you to. In the ever-awesome film The Nightmare Before Christmas, one of the songs does just this. "Poor Jack" is an excellent example. The song starts out slow, melancholic and tragic. But then, it builds and becomes triumphant! The transition is done so beautifully, that it really doesn't feel like a mood whiplash at all. Another example, same movie, is the musical score "Jack and Sally Montage". That score was amazing in how it transitioned from one mood to another. Especially by the end of it, when it's dramatic! Again, seamless and natural transition.
So, anyway, that being said, I think it was nicely done. We get a bit of backstory that does make for good foundation on Rainbow and Fluttershy's possible romance, and also culminates from the emotional drama. It didn't come out of nowhere. Heck, chapter one started with a bit from this chapter!
I really, really really really REALLY hope we can see Rainbow's side of the backstory. That would just make for an interesting moment of their emotional development.
That Fluttershy backstory... Damnit, stop changing my headcanon
But seriously, that was brilliant. I want to find out more. That's always a good thing.
"After all, photos don’t talk back."
someone already said, but the change in mood on that part made me choke a little inside. I didn't even see it coming, well done. You made me cry, you'll make me cry tonight and re read her backstory a couple of times... I can hardly wait until the next chapter.
I cringed. I also demand more. More.
After what Gilda did I want to cut off her head and shit down her throat
Nice way to include Gilda here; yes, she has a matching personality with Rainbow and yes, she can be a good friend. But she can also be a bad adviser and a worse bully.
I found some little mistakes while reading:
"to calm me It made me know": missing "."
"I would often overhear the mares at school talking about the stallions—their looks mostly—and hear the mares discussing the stallions' looks,": Sound 2x the same, isn't it?
"I looked at her face to face whenever I could,": "to face" is too much here IMHO
"still awake a little after": there is a space too much.
At first I thought this would be the last chapter, but You left us with a huge cliffhanger! WHY!
BTW I'm still waiting for that kiss.
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uggghhh cliffhanger!
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great chapter though!
Hey Souldin (and audience/readers),
We've done a live reading of the first chapter and put it on our channel. It's become quite popular relative to our other videos and we're taking pre-recording this one in consideration. A pre-recording would be of MUCH higher quality and we may even include some music. We'd like to know two things first though:
1. When will the story be complete? (approximately)
2. How high is the demand? (i.e. who would like a pre-recorded version of this? (Okay who wouldn't want that? ))
We've got 4 stories lined up for pre-reads which should be done in about 3 weeks. We hope we can add your series to the list once it's done
We're posting this as a comment so readers and followers of your story can reply and notify us of whether or not they'd like a reading, hope you don't mind
Any recommendations for music and cues are welcome too, This'd be the biggest story we'd do yet btw
Hoping to get some comments,
The Living Library Player Society
At first my priority was going to simply be the writing of the next chapter of Magnetism, and the last part of the story. This means I was going to leave replying to these comments on the latest chapter of Magnetism 'til later, once I had sent chapter 8 over to Ugugg for proof-reading. Then one thing was noticed and one thing came up. The first thing I noticed was the amount of comments on this chapter, an incredible 41 comments.
Secondly, the 41st comment was one I figured I should draw to each of your attention. The 41st comment is by TheLivingLibrary, a group of YouTube live readers that I've previously mentioned before as they just so happened to have previously made a live reading of the first chapter of Magnetism . While I will be replying to them later in this comment, there comment is also directed partly towards you other readers and as such please take the time to read to their following post; 1814010, and reply if you wish to.
A third thing I was going to mention in my next blog post/chapter is an unfortunate issue I'm having with this fanfic. I cannot read or reply to a good half of the comments that have been typed for Chapter 1 of this story. For some reason the page refuses to load, both on the review section as a whole and on chapter 1's comment only section. It says that the reason for this is due to there being a long running script and I wish to if any of you know of a way to get around this problem so I may reply to the remaining comments of chapter 1. I do know, that with chapter 1, one commenter has posted the same comment at least six times in a row, and believing it will be of some help in reducing the long script issue, I would be grateful if one you, who can access the pages, could ask of this commenter to delete their repeated comments until only one remains. Help with this problem will be most helpful.
1799044 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] Your updated comment suggests that you have finished with your reading of this chapter to which I hope you enjoyed. Nice to see that you enjoyed the backstory and thank you for commenting.
1799193 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] My mission objective was to attack you, my readers, feels, so seeing comments like yours empathising with Fluttershy makes me feel this chapter was a success. Thanks for the comment.
1799258 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] Sad but trustworthy, I shall take that as a compliment to this chapter indeed. I was actually a little worried I trying too hard to make it sad. While my objective was to make you feel sad for Fluttershy I did not want to go over the top with it, make it seem unbelievable. It seems I have done well with this chapter though as nothing but praise (and tears) have been coming in so for me. Thank you for commenting.
1799322 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] Mission accomplished then. I hope, even though it is sad, that you still found it to be an enjoyable read and I thank you for commenting.
1799333 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] I love how the quoted line has been placed under the trope of 'Epic Fail', and that upon clicking on the 'Epic Fail' trope, the first image to pop up is the actual reference for the Rainbow burning cereal joke .
Despite it being a sad chapter, with the purpose of being sad, I did try to slip in some humour. Before the flashback I ensured there was plenty, and some of Fluttershy's remarks I found quite entertaining to write. As for there being a reference to Keeping Your Hooves On The Ground, at first I would have said no but then I realised that what you had just said was in the fact the name of the fanfic I was referencing. Yes, couldn't even remember the title of the fanfic I was referencing. Glad you enjoyed this sombre chapter with sprinkles of comedy and I thank you for commenting Zyr1987 .
1799341 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] It's a shame you corrected this comment, I found it to be most entertaining , and even more entertaining to see your many attempts to correct it.
Though I have a dew references to G1 in this story, and will probably have many more in future stories once I've actually watched G1 MLP, the toast monsters are not one of them. Also, it would be a bit strange for Fluttershy to convert Rainbow Dash to a colt considering she's a lesbimare and that would require an age changing-oh, you mean cult. That's a little boring to play around with but if you're dishing out Friendship is Witchcraft jokes then consider the mayhem a partially sighted Rainbow Dash would end up causing for Fluttershy's cult if she were to be a member.
I have just noticed that you also have a second comment, one of which I will save time and reply to right now. I made you laugh and I... I didn't make you cry. I shall settle for inflicting damage to your feels, next time I will try and score a critical hit as planned. It seems some of my readers are made of slightly tougher stuff. Off the top of my head I'm not sure who Darth Link 22 but I think you mean the comparison in a good light so thanks for all the praise . Furthermore I thank you for commenting Jake Roberts.
1799380 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] , thinking about it, I could have added in a near miss smooch into this chapter. Then again there were a lot of things I could have put into this chapter, there is so much you can do with filly Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. If I were to write any more concerning the two I'd probably write it in my normal style, I'm not a big fan of the first person perspective I made myself write in mass with this chapter (and I know I'll be using this style again in the future). Sorry to hear that you were disappointed with the tone shift of this chapter but don't worry, FlutterDash romantic comedies are enjoyable to write and I will probably do more of them in the future. Thanks for commenting Ugugg.
1799457 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] This chapter was such a devastating blow to your feels that it accelerated time, 1000 years passed, and your feels came back to you with all the pain my chapter brings with it. As I've said many a time before in these comments, this was my objective so mission accomplished. Thanks for the comment.
1799551 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] You're on the right track with that line of thought. I would say more but the purpose of the bracelets, as in what they were meant for, will be explained in the next chapter. I will remind you though that while the bracelets could be used for ponies, as demonstrated in this fanfic, the bracelets were designed by a non-pony race that lived in the Everfree Forest, mentioned in Chapter 6 as Fauns. An accurate prediction, at least in the way of subject, so bravo on that and thank you for commenting.
1799592 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] That line is my sadness masterpiece, many points were designed to make the readers weep or feel down but the revelation of Fluttershy's mother; that is my art. Glad it worked so well and thank for the comment.
1799604 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] Some words would be nice but the emoticons get the message across in this case so jolly good, I made you sad. Thanks for commenting.
1799616 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] That line was gold but I also have to hand it my proof-reader, separating it onto a line of its own help makes it even more effective. It's amazing what a bit of presentation can do to help increase the impact of a moment.
All of these sad Fluttershy faces please me. It was my aim to make my readers sad with this chapter, something I had been building up to since the very start, and I'm glad it has worked so well. I hope you can fix that heart of yours and thank you for the comment.
1799620 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] Your feels have been struck; success! Glad you enjoyed their backstory and it is rather ironic how Fluttershy in the present is adamant in denying she has feelings for Rainbow Dash while Fluttershy in the past accepted it almost straight away.
I've always thought, since learning that Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were foalhood friends, that something must have happened to make them seem so... distant, in between earning their cutie marks and the events of season 1. I took the logical step of thinking about Gilda, who we knew to be Rainbow's friend from back at school but to whom we did not see in any of the flashback's to flight camp. Gears started churning and this was the result, more of which will be said about Gilda in the next chapter.
As for why Rainbow did not tell Fluttershy... I can't say, that would be spoiling things. Instead I'll make you wait and suffer .
Rainbow being oblivious to Fluttershy's confliction was for the sake of cruel humour. It also fits in with their characterisation so far. As for the implications of Fluttershy's feelings, again, I'm a huge fan of subtle hints and foreshadowing.
I was actually unaware of the trio chemistry between Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Angel resembling that of Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Gilda, although it is Rainbow Dash now in Fluttershy's role. I feel Angel is more morally justifiable than Gilda's case, as far as Angel knows it was just him and Fluttershy first and even if he did know he'd be questioning where Rainbow Dash had been for those few years when it was just him and Fluttershy. Furthermore, Angel's is a matter of wanting to protect Fluttershy, while Gilda's was more to do with ensuring Rainbow Dash stays awesome as it were (and something else but again, Gilda will be mentioned later so that's all I can say).
I have no idea why you are calling Angel 'Jigsaw' but fair enough. Finally, as for Rainbow's super cute comment; Rainbow Dash is unknowingly an expert flirt.
That last part wasn't my final point to address though as it just so happens you made a comment later on to which I reply to along with this one. Interestingly enough, mood whiplash was a critique I was expecting (and one of which I have accused Ugugg of countless times) but is one I have not encountered here. I've careful with my writing though, planting the seeds and all, and while this chapter indeed focused on the emotional drama that in other chapters, has been the more subtle part, comedy is still featured but this time taking the role of the smaller element. I've simply swapped the quantity of the two elements I have been using throughout the fanfic around for this chapter.
Of course knowing you, you just had to use 'Nightmare Before Christmas' as an example . Still, they are nice examples and I thank you for making such a comparison to my fanfic.
Perhaps we will see Rainbow's side of the story next chapter, perhaps we won't. In either case, the end fast approaches. I hope it to be one you will enjoy but for now I thank you for comments Nintendo Gal and cheerio!
1814712 You're welcome!
Ermagersh, there's soooo much to say.... XD Let me see, I'll tackle the important aspects. Oh yes, Angel is definitely more justifiable and he does have good intentions. He's just a wee bit misguided in expressing them in a way Fluttershy understands. But to be fair, it serves that he's a bit of a counter balance to her, which works well because Fluttershy meshes well with that kind of thing. At the same time, he does turn into a bit of a spoiled brat and demands to have his way, so there's a bit of that.
I called him Jigsaw as a joke because he managed to build some traps around the Everfree Forest that could, well, lead to certain death if no one's careful. XD Despite being a bunny less than a few centimetres tall, has plans, and is pretty multi-talented. And he thinks what he's doing is perfectly justified. Despite that he could probably potentially kill someone innocent. XD Yeah, I just kinda found that amusing.
Rainbow being oblivious would make sense, since I think she's the kind of pony who needs a direct answer about things. Picking up on certain things may not be a strong point, but it doesn't mean she's stupid, so that's good. It would make sense that she had no idea Fluttershy had been crushing on her all this time.
Actually, it wasn't weird at all that Fluttershy is trying to deny it unlike back when she was younger. Because, well, falling in love with her was both a blessing and a curse, And she nearly lost her forever because of it. I think I can understand why she's afraid to fall in love with her again. She doesn't want the same thing to happen or get hurt again. This deeply hurt her inside. She lost her mother and then she eventually lost her best friend. Without. A. Word. Sure, they're back together now, but I sense a lot of unfinished emotional business. They need to sit down and talk to each other, get everything out on the table and work things out.
So, it makes sense she was denying her feelings all this time. Her mind was, but her heart and body were not.
At first my priority was going to simply be the writing of the next chapter of Magnetism, and the last part of the story. This means I was going to leave replying to these comments on the latest chapter of Magnetism 'til later, once I had sent chapter 8 over to Ugugg for proof-reading. Then one thing was noticed and one thing came up. The first thing I noticed was the amount of comments on this chapter, an incredible 41 comments.
Secondly, the 41st comment was one I figured I should draw to each of your attention. The 41st comment is by TheLivingLibrary, a group of YouTube live readers that I've previously mentioned before as they just so happened to have previously made a live reading of the first chapter of Magnetism . While I will be replying to them later in this comment, there comment is also directed partly towards you other readers and as such please take the time to read to their following post; 1814010, and reply if you wish to.
A third thing I was going to mention in my next blog post/chapter is an unfortunate issue I'm having with this fanfic. I cannot read or reply to a good half of the comments that have been typed for Chapter 1 of this story. For some reason the page refuses to load, both on the review section as a whole and on chapter 1's comment only section. It says that the reason for this is due to there being a long running script and I wish to if any of you know of a way to get around this problem so I may reply to the remaining comments of chapter 1. I do know, that with chapter 1, one commenter has posted the same comment at least six times in a row, and believing it will be of some help in reducing the long script issue, I would be grateful if one you, who can access the pages, could ask of this commenter to delete their repeated comments until only one remains. Help with this problem will be most helpful.
1799870 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] Them feels indeed. Reactions such as yours is proof that my aim of the chapter, to target my readers feels, has been accomplished. Thanks for letting me know of my success with this comment.
1799968 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] To be fair, even during Fluttershy's mostly sombre flashback I took the time to incorporate both cutesy moments between her and Rainbow Dash as well as a few moments of humours (Rainbow thinking Fluttershy has the power to command demons and some of Fluttershy's remarks such as needing more subtle titles, were added with humorous intentions). The bulk of the humour, as you've noticed, was in the first part and then slowly transitioned towards the sombre flashback that makes up the depth and meaning to the chapter.
Different head-canon's are to be expected, especially in the case of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, the only Mane 6 characters we have yet to see family members of. I tried to not force my head canon on my readers too much, which is why despite being mentioned and rather important to this flashback, you never once see any member of Fluttershy's or Rainbow Dash's families. I certainly wouldn't mind hearing your own head canon concerning Fluttershy's and Rainbow Dash's backgrounds/families.
RD missing sex ed was again, mostly for humorous purposes, though I realised it could also be used to explain why she is quite as oblivious as she is in regards to the subject (in my previous story, Thank You Cider I instead had her slightly more aware, but boastful of the fact that she slept through the majority of her sex education lessons). One-sided GildaDash on Gilda's half always seemed canon to me, and there will be a little more said on Gilda in the next chapter.
I originally was going to include a part about Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash meeting up with one another, and Fluttershy commenting (as she keeps telling herself to further deny her feelings for Dash) how she didn't feel the same way for Dash as she did back then. My proof-reader though said that where I had ended it here was good enough and we already sort of seen the reuniting scene albeit from Angel's perspective in the previous chapter.
PinkieDash is a good ship with plenty of canon support (at least in season 1) so while I may not ship it myself ( all the way), good for you. I'm glad though that you are starting to sway over to the FlutterDash side (just as planned) and I thank you for the lengthy comment.
1800093 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] Lot's of well placed emotional baggage is a good thing as luckily I've been building up to this since the very first chapter (hence the scene this chapter and the first share).
I don't think I've ever seen rich Rainbow Dash, and if it's ever about one of the characters being rich I usually see Fluttershy depicted as rich (you would think Twilight's family would be depicted as rich more often considering there from Canterlot and have two children in high up positions). As for their past background status catching up to them... maybe, it is something I've toyed around with in my head, though the ideas usually seem to come about in order for there to be a reason where Rainbow Dash is forced to act like an upper class lady. Comedy ensues!
Jolly good to see that you've had an enjoyable read with this chapter. Also hooray , you spotted the Legend of Zelda shout-out! Thanks for commenting.
1800437 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] All of your love... for a sombre chapter like this one ? Does making you cry make you happy or is it simply happiness at the quality of my writing (my ego is inflating with each word I type of this reply)? I take it that you enjoyed it so all is right with the world. Thanks for the comment.
1801249 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] I would try and not keep you waiting but unfortunately it's Christmas time and so even if I were to complete the end of this story within say, this week, it would still require my proof-reader to work over Christmas Day. I'm somewhat of a jerk but not to that level of wickedness.
As for not expecting a sad chapter, well you should have, I've hinted to all this emotional baggage since the first chapter. In fact I love hinting to things, if you read this story carefully you will noticed that I have foreshadowed and hinted towards many, many things. I'll see what I can do about getting the chapter to you as quick as I can but the only thing I can ensure you is that I will have this chapter ready to be read before the end of this month. Thanks for the comment.
1801682 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] My aim was to target your feels and that moment was my ultimate weapon. I would say it was a success, wouldn't you? Thanks for commenting.
1801977 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] Compared to the comments I've received from my proof-reader, Ugugg, concerning Gilda, yours seems pretty tame. Those were even before this chapter, I've yet to ask how he feels about her within this story. In fact, I just seem to attract a lot of readers who hate Gilda for some reason... maybe there is a connection between hating Gilda and being a FlutterDash shipper . Anyway, I thank you for your comment.
1802536 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] Great chapter and great backstory, I take your praise with open arms. I'm trying to be as quick as I can with the end of this story but the only definite I have for it at the moment is that you will be able to read it before the end of this month... it will however, probably not be ready before Christmas. I hope you'll enjoy it when it comes through and thank you for the comment.
1802723 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] Don't be so hasty now, Gilda is to be mentioned once more in the next chapter. Then go forth with your murderous intentions. Thanks for the comment.
1802907 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] Your crying entertains me greatly! Also, thank you for the comment.
1802965 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] It's a right shame that Jake Roberts edited his comment, his comment and your response had me in stitches.
It doesn't make much sense in the context of this story though, considering Fluttershy is a lesbimare and likes mares. Instead it would be more understandable if she turned herself into a co-I just realised another problem that was in the original comment. He wrote colt, not stallion... so Rainbow turning into a male also makes her younger ? I am putting far too much thought into this. Thanks for the comment.
1803247 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] I certainly would not have ended it on that moment in order to bring it up again for the end of the story, nope, certainly not .
My aim was to make you readers sad and with comments such as yours I can keep on saying that my aim has been achieved. As for your question, well you will just have to read on. Thanks for commenting.
1804667 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] True that, I hadn't even thought of that. Well then, I should thank you not only for commenting but also giving me a good laugh so thank you very much.
1807169 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] I would apologise for you finding this chapter to be mildly depressing though delivering such devastating points to your feels was the point of this chapter soooo, I regret nothing! Thanks for the comment.
1808847 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] I'm not sure if altering your head-canon sits with me as a good thing or a bad thing. On the one hand it proves my writing here is understandable and convincing, on the other hand I do like to see how others have interpreted things differently. Tell me, what be your head-canon on Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash's family and backstory?
Lovely to receive such praise, lovely to see you enjoyed the chapter and thank you for commenting.
1809707 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] I know, Fluttershy bounds into her house all happy and chirpy, telling her mother all about her day and her mother listens patiently. Then Fluttershy casually remarks about her talking to a photo and oh dear, her mother's dead at this point. It was my ultimate weapon in attacking your feels and it has worked even better than I could have hoped for. I shall try not to be too long with the next and you should at least be reading it before the end of this month. Thanks for commenting.
1810650 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] Another comment remarking on my success with this chapter always makes me . Thank you for commenting.
1811704 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] You want to do all that simply because Gilda was threatening Fluttershy ? A bit harsh, don't you think? All the same though I thank you for the comment.
1812039 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] Oh goodie, critique . Thank you for providing it and I will be sure to make good use of it once I get around to re-editing stages. Interestingly enough you have also provided the most balanced comment in regards to Gilda. For now though I thank you for the comment.
1812491 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] It was at one point going to be the last chapter, with the key event of chapter eight tacked onto it but then I realised it was more effective like this. Let the feels seep in, the feels! As for a kiss scene... maybe... maybe not... I'm both a FlutterDash fan and a lover of comedy so which one I side with you'll never know . Thanks for the comment and the picture.
1813076 [Note: Please read first three paragraphs of reply comment] Cliff-hangers, they force you to play the waiting game. Luckily I am not on the receiving end of it this time so I have no problems with this. It should only be a two week wait until the next chapter, maybe less than that if my proof-reader and I are quick enough, so no worries. Thanks for the comment.
1814010 Finally, onto the most important comment posted on this chapter. Greetings TheLivingLibrary, I am Souldin, Review King Souldin.
First off, I know of this live reading you speak of for I have watched it before. I even posted a link to it within the previous chapter of Magnetism. I have yet to find the time to comment on the entire thing but I can tell you it was entertaining. The moment Spike spoke my little brother and I was in hysterics. Your voicing for Rainbow Dash, Twilight and Rarity is also very good.
1) This question I can answer, the story should be finished before the end of the month with the most likely date being the 29th or 30th of December.
2) I certainly would not mind to see one, particularly if it is of higher quality than your reading of chapter 1 (to be fair, it was a live reading).
One quick tip I shall give you is that I feel your narrator needs to speak louder, or get a better quality mike. There is a lot of description and narration in this story so your narrator needs to be heard more so and clearer than any other.
At the moment I have no specific recommendation for music or sound cues (with exception to using the Legend of Zelda box opening sound cue for the cereal scene in this chapter). I will say though that you should ensure that the music is never louder than your readers, and considering how quiet Fluttershy will have to be at times I would keep the BGM to a minimum. Sound effects should be fine, but you don't need a BGM playing throughout the entire live reading if it risks interfering with the reading at certain points so don't overdo it with the music.
Those are of course only my advice and at that the advice of someone who has never done a live reading before. I wish you luck with it and any other live or pre-recorded readings your group decides to do. Thanks for doing a live reading of the first chapter, thanks for this wonderful offer and thank you very much for commentating.
1815701
What a well-conceived wall of text you've got there!
And dedication to the commenters, too!
1814712 On not getting to the second page of comments on the first chapter, maybe try a different browser? I tried with IE and got the same result, but when I tried with Chrome, it went fine.
As for the epic fail thing. That picture was the first thing I thought of when I read about the cereal NOT burning for once. It had me in stitches.
Wow. That was sad as fuck. Not really a whole lot else to say there.
1815701 I will enjoy it no matter what, this story is awesome. I CAN WAIT *sits, like the pinkies do in "too many Pinkies" when they were watching the paint dry, watching the screen*
1815701 I've already got an established headcanon with RD where she's the daughter of a noble (and her mother's a flight instructor for foals), but it's the whole 'dead mother father works late' for Fluttershy thing that really made me feel, and when I feel I can't leave it be
I really like that emoticon, apparently.
Wow, a reply by the author – that seldom; thanks for that . And I am a fan of Gilda, so I like it when she is appearing in a story. and even more if she is not a villain.
1814712
I've checked those comments with IE browser and the same happened to me, a longscript that wouldn't load caused the page to crash. When I tried opening that second section of the comments with Opera, it worked instantly.
Like someone else mentioned before me, try another browser. Hopefully, that will solve the problem for you as well.
As for my comment, obvious attack feels is obvious. Great plan to attack my feels btw, I cried out of sadness but also out of happiness, for how good this story got.
I am looking forward to reading your next chapter.
Also, while this I have to admit is not exactly the best fanfic I have ever read, that moment is one of the best twists I've seen in the fanfiction from this site, up to this point. This was, very different from how fanfics build up their sad moments and I trully wasn't ready for it.
Thank you, you brilliant writer.
So that's seven chapters we've spent on the edge of the romantic cliff. Let's see how many more we can do!
While I liked this chapter I kind of wonder about the flashback. It seemed way to long for one. Either the entire chapter should have been it or you should have had different parts in different moments in the story to explain their relationship. That's what I would have done anyway.
Still, it was great.
Wow. This was saaaaaaaddddddd... but I love villainous villains. I have no idea why.
1816745 and 1820284, I'll be addressing the two of you first considering the importance of your comments. So then, about the browsers, to which I first thank you greatly for answering my issues. It appears then that I need to go about changing my internet browser, however, as I have never done such a thing before I first need to ask you a couple of questions.
1) Will changing my internet browser affect any of my family’s browsers?
2) Will it cost anything?
I guess I should also add in there if you have any recommendations for alternative browsers. Once again I thank you very much for addressing this issue.
1817153 The misery was intended and as such I should be able to take your comment as a compliment towards this chapter. Thank you for commenting.
1824841 You would think that would be on a long time on a cliff but the sight is just so wonderful it feels like no time has passed at all. As for how many more I can do, well the last chapter is the end of Magnetism but I'm sure to be writing more Romantic Comedies later, specially FlutterDash tales. Thanks for the comment.
1829000 True that, the flashback probably should be a chapter on its own (does the fact that it’s also a dream sequence excuse it?). Looking back on this fanfic, something I can legitimately do as I've already sent the last part of this story to be proof-read, I do feel that if I were to do it again I would include a chapter or two more. I think a chapter involving Twilight experimenting ways to help them would work well, and I could think of a couple of scenes involving the cutie mark crusaders that would have been fun to do. In fact, as the CMC already had a chapter with Fluttershy and Rainbow, I could have had a scene or two of them combined with the non-flashback/dream sequence part of this chapter, and then lead into the next chapter as the flashback/dream sequence.
Too late now though, what's done is done. Besides, all of my chapters are pretty darn long, and this was close to being the second shortest. Glad you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for commenting Rated PonyStar.
1834618 Sad as intended. I too also like villains, and I really like the idea of more of them being introduced into the MLP universe where currently there is so few.
Aside from FlutterDash becoming canon, my most wished for moment in the series is an episode where several of the past antagonists unite and try to get there revenge (along with several parodies of legions of doom). Sadly, the most likely antagonist to do that has been forgiven and apparently gone goody-goody so my second most wanted moment is unlikely to ever happen now. Thanks for commenting.