Thirty-five months since the coronation of Princess Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight stood on the platform of Canterlot’s train station, giving her best smile to yet another group of passerbys that had stopped to greet her. There was a time when she would’ve hated all the attention, but that time was long past. In fact, with all the time she had been spending in the palace lately, she was positively enjoying it; it had been weeks since the last time she had walked around the city.
A young colt scampered up to her with a big grin plastered on his face and asked if he could take a picture with her. She giggled, pulled him into a hug, and let his mother take a photo. She had just stood up and ruffled his mane when she heard the low rumble of an approaching train. She gave the colt one a last smile and trotted down the platform to meet it.
The engine rumbled to the stop and ponies started filing out. It wasn’t long before she saw a familiar stetson above the crowd.
“Applejack! Applejack, I’m over here!” She saw the hat turn in her direction and began moving through the parting crowd towards her friend.
Applejack glanced around for a moment before she found Twilight and cracked a grin. “There ya are! Ah knew Ah heard ya,” the farmpony said as she approached. “How’d you spot me so quick?”
“Your hat,” Twilight giggled.
“Oh yeah, that’d do it,” Applejack snickered.
“So where’s Rain— Woah! Dash, you’ve gotten... wide,” Twilight stammered, gaping at the pegasus.
“Tell me about it,” she grumbled. “It’s exhausting.”
“I can imagine. You sure that there’s just one in there?” Twilight asked teasingly.
“Yeah. Every doctor I’ve talked to said there’s just one foal. It’s just really big,” Rainbow replied with a shrug.
“No surprise there,” Applejack chucked, gently elbowing the pregnant mare in the ribs. “Ah told you from day one: no foal of Mac’s is gonna be small.”
“Yeah, yeah...” Rainbow sighed, failing to hide a smile. The smile waned slightly as she looked back towards Twilight and pointed to the folder she had tucked under her wing. “Is that what you need our help with?”
“Oh! Yes, yes it is,” Twilight muttered. “But it’s a very sensitive subject and the fewer ponies that know about it, the better; so, I’d really prefer if we wait until we get to the restaurant before we start. I’ve reserved a private booth and cast a few soundproofing spells on it, so we won’t have to worry.”
She turned around and beckoned for them to follow her, but Applejack shook her head.
“Before we go, sugarcube, there’s somethin’ Ah need ta tell ya,” she said with a coy smile.
“Okay, I’m listening,” Twilight replied, turning back around to face Applejack with a confused frown.
“Well, you see...” Applejack said softly, gesturing downwards with her eyes.
Twilight followed her gaze and felt her jaw drop at the sight of a beautiful emerald-inlaid gold bracelet adorning the Earth Pony’s hoof. “H-he proposed? Oh my gosh!” She quickly closed the distance between them and seized Applejack’s hoof in her own. “This is amazing! The gems even match your eyes perfectly!”
“Ah know. He said it took him weeks to find enough that were just the right shade,” Applejack smirked proudly.
“When did he ask?” Twilight said breathlessly.
“About a week and a half ago. Ah’m sorry that Ah didn’t write to you about it, but Ah wanted ta tell ya face-to-face,” Applejack said happily.
“Oh, don’t apologize, AJ. I completely understand,” Twilight giggled.
“She’s not the only one with news either,” Rainbow snickered, causing Twilight to whip her head towards the pegasus.
“What?”
“Well, from what Ah can tell, last night Fancy Pants stopped by the Boutique with a big envelope fulla’ designs he wanted to have Rarity look at...” Applejack started.
“...But when she opened it, a ring fell out,” Rainbow finished.
“No. Way. Seriously?” Twilight squealed.
“Seriously,” Applejack nodded. “‘Least that’s what we think happened. Rare was still speakin’ in excited squeaks when we left this mornin’.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow chuckled. “You shouldda seen the ring though! Biggest diamond I’ve ever seen. Of course he probably bought it, I can’t see him digging one up like Rockhammer.”
“Well I guess we’ve got two more weddings to plan now!” Twilight said with a huge grin that faded almost immediately. “Oh, no...”
“What’s wrong?” Rainbow asked, taking a heavy step forward.
“How am I going to tell Spike?” Twilight murmured.
“Don’t,” Applejack inserted, shaking her head. “Ah asked Rarity about that. She told me to tell you that she wanted to tell him herself. She said that he deserves to hear it directly from her, ‘n that it’ll soften the blow a bit.”
“She did? I guess that’s a bit of a relief,” Twilight sighed. She stared at nothing in particular for a short moment before shaking her head. “I guess there’s no use worrying about it now. We should probably start walking, the restaurant has got to be wondering where we are. Besides, I haven’t eaten all day, and Dash is eating for two.”
“Oh, you’ve got that right,” Rainbow muttered.
She turned around and began walking; slowly enough at first for the other two to catch up to her, and then at a mildly faster pace.
“So, what’s been happenin’ here lately?” Applejack asked her tepidly. “All the newspapers mentioned some kinda hullabaloo last week, but none of ‘em would say what.”
“Oh, that. We just narrowly avoided a civil war, nothing major,” Twilight grumbled sarcastically. “First Blueblood got himself banned from the castle, then thrown in prison. After that I had five noble houses at my throat with the Royal Guard ready to attack said houses against my direct orders. All in the span of about six hours.”
“Okay; this I’ve gotta hear,” Rainbow said with a deadpan sigh.
“I was holding a budgetary meeting last Wednesday to discuss building a new rail line between Manehattan and Trottingham when Blueblood got into an argument with my Deputy Minister of Agriculture over... something— I don’t really know or care what— anyway, he said some really nasty things to her. Now, I told everypony on my first day in office that anypony who spoke like that around me would be banned from the castle, so I told a few of the nearby guards to throw him out.”
“Okay...” Rainbow mumbled.
Twilight nodded and continued, “That's nothing new, but he started to struggle as they were carrying him to the door and ended up kicking one of them in the face. It was an accident, but striking a guard is a Class D felony with a minimum seven year sentence, and he kicked her so hard that he broke her nose, so there wasn’t much I could do to de-escalate the situation.”
“Oh, that’s awful,” Applejack winced. “Is the guard okay? Ah broke my nose when Ah was a filly, ‘n it was one of the most painful things that’s ever happened to me.”
“She’s okay, just very angry. I actually saw her this morning,” Twilight said reassuringly. “As for Blueblood, I was afraid of what the other guards would do to him, so I had Minister Ironside send a few regular soldiers to take custody of him. Unfortunately, Blueblood’s family and their political allies showed up at the castle a few hours later demanding that I let him go.”
“And Ah’m guessin’ the guards demanded otherwise.”
“Yeah. They demanded that I let them arrest all of the protesters,” Twilight grumbled. “Luna and I had to do some delicate negotiating to keep a riot from breaking out. We managed to talk everypony down, but things are still a bit tense.”
“If nothing else, at least Blueblood will be out of your mane for a while,” Rainbow replied with a shrug.
“You’d think that, but he’s a bigger pain in the flank when he’s behind bars than when he isn’t,” Twilight sighed. “He may be almost universally disliked, but his House is very wealthy, very powerful, and he, himself, is very shrewd. Most interhouse political maneuvers go through him at some point, so having him imprisoned has put a lot of plots and schemes on hold. The nobles don’t like that and they take it out on me.”
“All this because he was mean to somepony,” Applejack grunted, rolling her eyes. “Couldn’t ya convince the judge to give him probation or somethin’? He may be an idiot, but the kick was an accident and nopony deserves to be thrown in the dungeon just for insultin’ somepony.”
“I could, but what I can’t do is figure out a faster way to turn the entire Royal Guard against me,” Twilight said.
“What could he have said that was so bad?” Rainbow asked.
“He uhh... well...” Twilight stopped in the street and glanced around. She frowned and beckoned for them to come closer. “He called her a mud-dweller,” she whispered.
Rainbow snarled angrily and flapped her wings, trying half-heartedly to take off against the weight in her belly. “No!”
“Oh that just low. Even Earth Ponies don’t call each other that. Ya know what? Forget what I said; leave ‘im in jail fer a while,” Applejack spat. She turned to continue along the road but stopped dead. “This the place? Twilight, you can’t be serious.”
“What’s wrong with it?” Twilight asked defensively.
“Y’all told me that they put the restaraunt in a barn. That’s no barn, that’s what ponies who’ve never seen a barn think one looks like!” Applejack exclaimed, pointing a hoof at the offending structure.
“We’re in Canterlot, what did you expect? Besides, the food’s excellent. You’ll love it, I promise,” Twilight retorted smugly, leading the way into the building. The trio was immediately set upon by a smartly dressed Unicorn hostess.
“Princess Twilight! Welcome. We have your table prepared for you,” the hostess gasped, shaking with excitement. “Please follow me.” She turned and began leading the three of them towards the back of the building, with the eyes of nearly every patron following.
“Rainbow Dash? Rainbow Dash!” a voice shouted from across the restaurant, causing all three of them to turn in its direction. “It‘s really you!”
“I guess we ran into a few of your fans,” Twilight giggled.
“Yep, I guess so,” Rainbow chuckled. “Well, duty calls. I’ll catch up to you two.”
She sauntered off towards a large group of ponies as Twilight and Applejack continued to the back where the hostess beckoned them into a room and closed the door behind them, leaving them alone with a sharply-dressed pegasus. “Hello, Princess and guest! My name is Pumpernickel, and I’ll be your waiter today. I have been assigned to this table only. If you need my service, simply pull the rope by the door and I will be alerted immediately. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.” He pulled out a pair of chairs for them to sit down and began pouring water into a few glasses. “Shall I bring you some menus or would you prefer to hear our specials?”
“Actually, I have a special request, if you don’t mind,” Twilight replied softly.
“Of course!” he said with a nod, pulling a quill and notepad from his apron.
“If it’s not too much trouble, could you have the head chef prepare whatever he considers his absolute best meal? Even if it’s not on the menu?” Twilight asked hopefully.
He quickly jotted her request down and spat out the quill. “No trouble at all. Especially for a Princess,” he grinned smugly.
“Oh! One more thing: nothing with apples unless he wants the most brutally honest review he’s ever gotten,” Twilight snickered.
Pumpernickel frowned and glanced from Twilight to Applejack— who gave him a mischievous wink— and back to Twilight. “Okay... I’ll be sure to inform him.” He bowed and turned to the door. “I’ll go place your order. Again, I’ll be right outside if you need anything.” He reached for the handle only for it to open on its own as Rainbow Dash entered. The two exchanged smiles and he left.
“So, Dash, what did they want?” Twilight asked as she pulled her folder from beneath her wing and placed it on the table.
“Autographs,” Rainbow said with a proud smile. She climbed into the nearest chair and leaned back with a groan. “And to ask about the foal. A couple of the mares also wanted me to ask AJ if she had any brothers that nopony knew about.”
“Ya told them who Ah was?”
“No, they already knew,” Rainbow chuckled.
“B-but how?” Applejack stammered.
“Applejack, your sister-in-law is a Wonderbolt, you’re close personal friends with all three of Equestria’s princesses and a bearer of an Element of Harmony,” Twilight explained. “You’re much more famous than you realize, whether you like it or not. Now, can we get to business?”
Applejack and Rainbow glanced at each other for a moment before nodding to Twilight.
“Good. I take it the both of you remember the project I set up to help increase apple production?” Twilight asked, spreading the contents of the folder across the table.
“The one that hasn’t done anything yet? Yeah, Ah remember,” Applejack grumbled.
“Errr, yes. That one,” Twilight mumbled sheepishly. “Well, while it hasn’t produced anything workable, there have been some results. For instance...” She glanced over the countless papers she had brought and selected a tiny stack, passing it to Applejack with her magic. “Last month a pair of the scientists— an Earth Pony and a Unicorn— were messing around during a break and had an accidental breakthrough.”
Applejack stared at the top page of the stack and frowned. “Ah’m not quite sure what this says.”
“Well, the Unicorn cast a tracing spell on the Earth Pony and ended up accidentally tracing the magical link between the Earth Pony and a nearby apple tree.”
“WHAT?” Applejack yelled. “That’s huge! Why haven’t Ah heard about this? Why hasn’t everypony heard about this?”
“Because they haven’t been able to replicate it, and that’s everything in science,” Twilight said with a disappointed sigh. “Like I said, they were just messing around, so they didn’t write down what they were doing and when they tried to do it again, they couldn’t pull it off. I’ve known the two who did it for years and I believe them when they say they did it, but unless they can replicate the results, it doesn’t matter.”
“I’m missing something. What’s the big deal?” Rainbow asked, reading the page over Applejack’s shoulder.
“This proves that Earth Ponies use magic too. Or at least it would’ve,” Applejack grumbled.
“Exactly,” Twilight replied with a nod. “It might not be useful in a practical sense, but it would do wonders for relations between the different types of ponies. Everypony knows that Pegasi and Unicorns use magic; Pegasi use it subconsciously to walk on and manipulate clouds, and Unicorns with their horns, but Earth Ponies? If we had solid proof that Earth Ponies were magical as well, it would be a massive blow to racism in Equestria.”
“Oh, I get it now,” Rainbow exclaimed. “Yeah, that really stinks that they can’t get it to work again.”
“That’s not all!” Twilight said excitedly, sliding another stack of papers to her friends. “This is a research paper on Unicorn magic written by an Earth Pony. It describes how a spell could be stored in a single-use crystal.”
“Woah! That’d be awesome,” Rainbow squealed, reaching across the table and dragging the document towards her. “I don’t think there’s a weather pony alive who wouldn’t love to be able to carry a warming spell around on blizzard duty!”
“True, but that’s not the impressive part. Figuring all that out required a complete understanding of how Unicorn magic works, where it comes from, and where it goes after it’s used. Most Unicorns don’t understand magic that well and we’re the ones who use it!” Twilight said excitedly. “This project has done more to advance racial understanding in the past two years than anything else has in the past two hundred!”
“Okay, so what d’ya need our help with?” Applejack asked.
“I’d like to expand the program,” Twilight nodded, pushing the largest stack of papers to them. “Right now it’s just a collaboration between Earth Pony agricultural scientists and Unicorn magical scientists, and they’re focusing only on studying apple trees. I want to expand it so that they not only study every aspect of agriculture, but I also want to include every industry dominated by Earth Ponies, have them study how Unicorn magic could be used to improve quality-of-life everywhere, and I want to add Pegasi to the program.” She leaned across the table and stared directly into Applejack’s eyes to emphasise her point. “I want to include every single aspect of life in Equestria. If we can get all three types of ponies sharing their secrets and co-operating for the common good, not only could we create a modern renaissance, but we could— quite possibly— eliminate racial tension in Equestria forever.”
Applejack and Rainbow Dash both gaped at her for a few seconds before lowering their eyes to the proposal and beginning to read. Twilight swallowed the lump in her throat and sat back, allowing them to take in the document. The silence in the room was suffocating, punctuated only by the occasional turning of a page, for nearly twenty minutes.
“Twilight, this is impressive, but...” Rainbow Dash said in a low murmur.
“But what?”
Rainbow struggled to find her words for a moment before continuing. “It’s just that—” She was interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Hold that thought,” Twilight sighed before using her magic to swing the door open.
Pumpernickel entered with a large grin, bearing a tray laden with bowls of various sizes. “I think I’ve got a real treat for you!” He set the tray down in the center of the table and began to ladle a thick orange liquid out of the largest bown into a few smaller ones. “This is squash soup. It’s actually on our menu at the moment as an autumn specialty. It’s a bisque made of three different types of squashes and a few types of fruits and vegetables blended with vegetable stock and spices. Full disclosure: there are apples in it, but I don’t think you’ll be able to taste them.”
He passed the soup around and pointed to a trio of three covered ceramic bowls. “That’s some kind of root vegetable stew. It has... Well, it has basically everything that grows underground except for carrots.”
“So turnips, potatoes, rutabagas, parsnips, ‘n sweet potatoes,” Applejack muttered.
“Errr... yes. You know your produce. There’s also a tiny bit of radish and dandelion for flavor,” Pumpernickel replied with an affirmative nod. “Enjoy. I’ll be back shortly to check on everything.”
Twilight used her magic to pass out bowls of stew and turned back to Rainbow as the other two dug in. “Okay, what were you saying?”
“I don’t think it’ll work,” Rainbow muttered sheepishly. “You know how secretive we Pegasi are about our work on the weather, especially towards unicorns.”
“That’s why I need you two,” Twilight asserted. “The two of you have a lot of pull in your communities and you could convince them to go along with this.”
“Uhhh, Twi, don’t take this the wrong way, and Ah can’t say that enough, but Ah don’t think you’re seeing the entire problem,” Applejack said apologetically.
“Meaning?”
“Well, most Unicorns aren’t exactly known for being open with their magic. You’re one of the best ponies Ah know ‘n Ah don’t want to offend ya, but shouldn’t y’all be more worried about gettin’ the Unicorns to co-operate?” Applejack asked tepidly, to ashamed to look Twilight in the eye.
“Oh, Applejack, look at me,” Twilight giggled. “I’m under no illusion that the Unicorns will be far more difficult that the Earth ponies and the Pegasi combined. We— or they since I’m not really a Unicorn anymore— can be arrogant and self-absorbed. I remember how bad I was when I first went to Ponyville. The thing is that I can handle them. I have a lot of credibility among Unicorn scientists and enough political pull to shut up the ones who start to cause trouble.”
She sat back in her chair again and shook her head. “But I need help with the Pegasi and Earth Ponies. Maybe if I waited a decade or two they’d be willing to listen to me directly, but I don’t want to wait that long. Equestria needs this now.”
Applejack sighed and nodded when another knock came and Pumpernickel entered. “How is everything?”
“Well, it’s interestin’ to say the least,” Applejack snickered. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s really good, but Ah’m not used to food this, uhhh, rich.”
“I actually asked the chef about that,” Pumpernickel stated. “He comes from the mountains north of Manehattan, and he said that these dishes are what he grew up on. Apparently the winters there are particularly brutal, so they eat heavy food like this to stay warm.”
“It’d certainly do the trick,” Applejack snickered. “Tell ‘im it has mah approval.”
He nodded and turned to Rainbow, who had taken to just poking at her soup. “If you don’t like it, I can bring you something else.”
“Oh! Nah, I love it!” Rainbow asserted and then pointed to her belly “This one, however, not so much.”
“Oh, I see. One moment.” Without another word, he disappeared out the door and appeared thirty seconds later and placed a massive slice of cake in front of her. “Double-layer chocolate fudge with vanilla glaze and raspberry filling.”
Rainbow gaped at the dessert before slowly turning to him. “How did you know?”
“My cousin just had a foal. During her last few weeks, she could eat three of these and not break a sweat.” He gave her a wink and backed out of the room, closing the door behind him.
“Anyway, Twilight, here’s the problem,” Applejack inserted. “This project would require all three types of ponies to tell their deepest trade secrets. Now that wouldn’t be a problem if we had some guarantee that we’d be better off for it, but we don’t. Ah mean you’re basin’ it on a project that’s been runnin’ three years ‘n hasn’t posted any results. Y’all are askin’ us to just accept it because it’ll work in theory. Ya know how much respect Earth Ponies have for theories.”
“Yeah, I’m sort of in the same situation,” Rainbow muttered, wiping chocolate from her muzzle. “If I had something to show everypony, it’d be a lot easier. Something I could point at and say ‘look what they did for them, imagine what they could do for us!’”
“That’s fair,” Twilight said softly. “So I guess the success of this proposal hinges on the success of the base project.”
“Yep.”
“Pretty much.”
“Well, I’ll see what I can do.”
It's back, oh happy day! And Luna gets mentioned exactly once. It is Twilight's story, I suppose.
should probably be (single space before 'your'):
Applejack, your sister-in-law is a Wonderbolt or Applejack, your sister-in-law might be a Wonderbolt
Thanks for the update I love this story!
Interesting.
I'll see what I can do.
-Princess Twilight's famous last words.
No offense, but this seemed more like a filler chapter than anything else and it was a bit boring in my opinion. I hope the next chapters will be more interesting.
Again, this is my opinion and you're free to disagree with me.
4316464 Well, if Twilight didn't reveal her plan in this chapter, then she'd have to do it later when more was going on and then that chapter would seem to have too much in it.
should be: cast a tracing
A transition point, I see. Can't wait to see what happens next!
This being updated showed up in my feed, but not in my Fav list. Damn FiMfic derped again!
I like this chapter, and I am interested in seeing where the scientific developments lead.
Also, I suspect that they will have to do a C-section on poor RD... I'm surprised Mac didn't split her in two making the foal!
4316464
It's called pacing
every chapter can't just be dramatic tension(not to mention romantic tension so thick that'd it'd go gloriously with a bisque, let me tell you) or the tension loses itself in the spaces between.
Besides which, I rather enjoyed this. Nothing like a chapter in which Applejack is uncomfortably reminded of her automatic fame.
Did the same thing for me biker_dash.
I forgot who AJ was shipped with again.
4316464 As Joural said, its called pacing.
I, for one, liked this chapter, it gives the charters room to be themselves and not just react to whatever's thrown in front of them. I very much like it.
And I REALLY hope we are privy to the details on a certain conversation between Rarity and Spike. Hope your listening Asylum.
Grat Job by the way I LOVE this story. and It is taking forever to get anywhere (which isn't something most stories do, so kudos for you). I like that it isn't just Twilight life changes and in the change she falls in love or whatever, but rather her life changes, and the story focuses on that and builds her *new* character and new life without everything else crammed in.
edit: also this didn't show in my fav list as updated, I almost missed it! Thankfully it showed up on the front page alerting me. Derpy must have misplaced the message
4317714 an OC geologist named Rockhammer.
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Like I said, it's just my opinion. I'm aware the story is pacing itself but I still felt it was boring.
4319059 true enough, sorry for kinda attacking you for an opinion. Some people want denser action than others.
4316464
I, actually, agree with you.
If I'm to be frank, the story has been bereft of intensity and attention-grabbing writing for quite a few chapters now. In fact, I'll go pin it down at Chapter Seventeen, where the "essence" of the first sixteen was lost. It's just been filler, more or less, quick passages that neither correlate with each other nor build a whole lot in terms of plot.
I understand that Chapter Sixteen was where the first "arc" ended. But the problem lies in how this second arc dropped the ball completely. The second arc has built off of quite literally nothing the first arc created, the whole tempo and rhythm of the story is gone. (4317259) There is a difference between tension and tempo. The first half did indeed have its fluxes of tension, moments of reprieve and happiness and fun while Twilight constantly battled for her bearings as a princess. That, that is pacing. Tempo, on the other hand, dictates a pace at which relevant, important events are brought to the fore. This isn't to say something like Canterlot exploding is the bar for important events, but there always needs something to be happening. I could care less if it's Twilight going ice skating or Luna demolishing a pile of ice cream, as long as it has a strong reverberation that pushes meaningful events along.
(4316532) For instance, let's take this whole scientific discovery that has occurred. It would be much, much more interesting to actually see what happened when that event took place. Did Canterlot go into raptures? Did Twilight scramble furiously to get her scientist to replicate the results? That would be interesting. That would keep us involved and invested.
Also, that whole, "Oh yeah, there was a civil war!" is another one. Please, for the love of god, take us there! Show us what went down! Give us a firsthand view of Blueblood getting tossed out! The whole point of this story is defeated in that we don't even see Twilight's progression as a princess! We do not marvel at her growing ability to manipulate the nobles. We do not see her diplomatic skills, or even her uses of authority. Seriously. Don't spend whole chapters on characters telling stories of stories. That's just veiled, dry exposition.
I feel like I'm on the verge of reading Archmage again. The emotional climax of this story has been built up so well, and now it's achieved and we can all go home happy. Why? Well, it's because the conflict of this arc (if there is any real, pertinent one) is too long in coming. There isn't any barrier to keep us interested, to keep us rooting for our little mares in purple and indigo. Nothing matters, because as of now, Twilight's just cruising in her victory parade.
I loved the first part, and it'd be a damn shame to watch it crumble now. I'm annoyed because it can be better than this.
I'm more interested in hearing about Rainbow and her foal than Twilight. : Also, Luna definitely deserves more words and Twilight seems to be acting too much like an ordinary pony here or at least it feels like she's in a pocket world where she's not a princess somehow. This chapter also feels pretty short (even if it is just over 4k words). You might try to normalize your story at some point so that the chapters are all 4-6k words or something like that.
4319475 Thank you for expanding on what I could not and seeing my point of view.
4319475
That's true, but I consider the events in this chapter to be important- they show character development(Albeit in the semi-stunted way that this method of writing requires, damned time skips), there is set up for important future plot-points, and we learn Twilight's goals- something which, prior to this point, seemed to be essentially 'ride it out'.
Well, Twilight is thinking big but, in the end, isn't that what Princesses are supposed to do?
Blueblood's imprisonment will cause waves and will likely see a lot of old money suddenly behind plots to unseat Twilight Sparkle. Any implication that she's going to undermine the Unicorns' sense of superiority by way of her science won't help matters very much either.
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First I get complaints for moving away from politics and intrigue, now I get complaints for moving back to it. Everyone's a critic. I can't make everyone happy with every chapter/arc, and I have no intent of trying; especially since this method of writing a story hasn't really been tried before and I'm essentially bushwhacking here.
Either way, this arc has two chapters left before I make another direction change.
4321859
I'm not complaining about the story, though I do feel that time-skip based stories will always suffer something fierce from the lack of a direct link between most chapters.
To be frank, political-stuff actually makes me rather happy to read, when well done, and you've some of the best political story stuffs I've read in a while.
4321859 I hope this project of Twilight's goes through. We'll have to wait and see, though.
I'm really enjoying these 'filler' chapters.
I, for one, welcome these chapters. Why?
It slows down and lets both the reader and the characters to take a breath and relax.
We can't have explosions all the time, if you people want more of those go watch a Michael Bay movie...
I gotta admit, these chapters aren't as funny or action packed as others, but I like this kind of chapter. Where everything just slows down for a bit, and they just, like, have lunch together or something.
Just a note, I didn't get a favourites list update for this chapter. Only reason I knew about it was because of follower updates.
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Same here. I just happened to be browsing through my favorites when I saw that I had an unread chapter.
4338310 In a sense...
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*cough* worked for Asimov
4346816 Someone takes these things a bit too seriously...
MORE
4417101 I must agree here, MORE PLEASE!!!
Really good chapter, I started this fic less than a week ago and have pretty much read it non-stop. Also I think Rainbow Dash and Big Mac's baby is going to be an Alicorn, that seems to be what things are hinting at.
4426454 it took you a week to read to were its at dude step up your game i go through 100,000+ word fic's in a day
4429361 Okay, I don't read that much per day, but I did say less than a week. Honestly though, 50,000 to 100,000 words, is it strange I respect you for that?
4429391 all is good im just addicted to books like a certain favorite pony
i suppose its just the fact that i read that fast it boggles my mind that others consider it fast to me its normal
OH WELL im just going to chuck this on the waiting to be completed pile with the other 15 im waiting on
Whoops, somehow missed this update.
Anywho, pregnant pegasi, always hilarious looking.
>>>“He uhh... well...” Twilight stopped in the street and glanced around. She frowned and beckoned for them to come closer. “He called her a mud-dweller,” she whispered.>>>
Alondro is shocked, stunned, and appalled! "Blueblood should have his basketball team taken away from him at once!"
>>>“So turnips, potatoes, rutabagas, parsnips, ‘n sweet potatoes,” Applejack muttered.
“Errr... yes. You know your produce. There’s also a tiny bit of radish and dandelion for flavor,” >>>
What?! No burdock root? No chickory? No jicama? No yucca? *Alondro knows his produce!*
Apparently I missed reading the comments for this chapter so sorry for the delay
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First off, you had good feedback that I value so I upvoted your posts cause that is exactly what we like to see.
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As for both of your comments it is a Sad, Romance, Slice of Life. Just because Asylum isn't setting up super heavy on Politics and Assassinations, Racial Tension and Civil War, doesn't mean he isn't setting things up. I won't revel what he is setting up, nor do I know exactly how he is going to do it. But with what I know of the story he is fulfilling several things needed for the upcoming plot. He even foreshadows a few things without intending to I believe. He has put that much though into whee this story is going.
As for pacing the pacing of the story is going along at what I believe to be good. One thing to keep in mind is the time between releasing each chapter. It kind of messes with the story pacing when you have to wait between chapters and that's unfortunate but an aspect of long stories.
Also, the POV surrounds Twilight. As a ruler she isn't traveling around witnessing the day to day life of Equestria. She is far to busy being nagged by jerky jerk faces. Mean old jerky jerk faces.
-sees what Blueblood did-
CASTRATE HIM!!! THEN REMOVE HIS HORN!!!
Why did FiMFiction not tell me about Chapter 21?! I'm getting tired of waiting for stories to update, only to find they've been updated for some time already. Anyway, on to the criticism. I just have one.
"Casted" is not a word. Maybe someday, decades from now, it will be, but right now, it's not. "Cast" is the proper word. Yes, the same word applies for both past and present. The English language is odd like that. There's no way that this is just speaking casually, either, because Twilight is the one who's speaking. She's a nerd, especially regarding magic, so she'd never use improper terminology, even in casual conversation.
I really liked this story. I feel a disconnect in the story at the fancy rarity thing. Also Rich famous guy just drops a ring in your hooves and you're suddenly in love. Rarity that's very shallow of you and I thought we were over the whole love at first sight thing. I'm not saying Fancy pants is a jerk or anything but that's rather more than forward. I question his intentions how does she know she's not just the next piece of arm candy he's craving. This was the biggest I've ever seen Rarity commit anywhere. "Oh wait you're jaded you're a pure sparity fan." Yes I am a sparity fan but I'm also a realist. I have not gone around just disliking every story that doesn't end up sparity. This just seems very out of character and it caused a crack in my enjoyment of the story. I'm not saying it did this for everypony. Also you have everything a mare could want and more Fancy can't you ask a girl out to dinner and do it like a stallion? I also realize this is a story about Twilight Sparkle and not about her friends too directly but there is hardly any mention of something like this possibly earlier as I remember. So I mean it just sort of seems pulled out of the blue that he proposes suddenly. I am highly suspect of this I think he's trying to get in good with one of the princesses friends. Maybe push his own agenda for once. I'd need to see that discussion where Rarity tells Spike to his face that it's not going to happen. To seal the crack in that this chapter has caused me. I'm also one not to give up until the story is over. So I look forward to continuing to enjoy this story but I worry when something happens and it doesn't appear to make sense from the point of the reader.
Called her a dirt pony, I'm guessing? That's the specific thing I remember she promised to kick people out for.
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Castrate him and remove his horn, then castrate the horn.
And trim that scraggly beard.
A Mud Pony, A Feather Duster, and a Featherdusting Narwhal walk into a restaurant.
Big Mac/RD I can see, AJ with a OC... eh, I can see. Rarity and FP though? With no set-up at all? About 3 years after the show? Sorry, that breaks my suspension of disbelief.
I bet the base project will work.
LOLZ nothing major ALL OF THE LOLZ
Blueblood "accidentally" broke the guard's nose? Not just no, but HELL no! You do not hit someone hard enough to break their nose by accident. Someone does something on purpose it is not an accident.
This happened because Blueblood thought it was acceptable for him to strike a guard. Why shouldn't he? He'd never had to pay a penalty for it before.
I blame the legal system. I'm sure "resisting arrest" is against the law, but he was taught that those laws didn't apply to him.
If everyone who resisted getting thrown out suffered some penalty, far fewer folks would resist (even if it was the informal penalty of getting the shit kicked out of you)
Of course, letting cops beat people up has problems, too.
Ok, not to sound ride but honestly the fact EP's can use magic is a given. Applejack and pinkie can use the elements which with the understanding of magical logic requires a base form of magic so that concept while interesting at best was not entirely accurate if you really wanted to use true earth pony magic to describe how the racism in Equestria is truly prominent in the terms that they don't like each other you have to remember that it's a magical pony based show if you're going to go as close to the show schematics as possible when basing your thesis and everything else off of the abilities that ponies have you have to remember that magic ponies magic cartoon Earth ponies equals ponies who can work the Earth better than any other Pony in the entire entire world and obviously in Equestria there are more than just earth pony Farmers because I know there are unicorn farmers you have to remember it's kind of irrelevant I understand racism and all that but to be honest you shouldn't have said that Earth ponies aren't magical because that would assume that would make people assume that Earth ponies cannot wield elements that make Applejack and Pinkie Pie completely obsolete for the main six