• Member Since 13th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 30th, 2022

HoofBitingActionOverload


The sexiest man you've ever met.

T

When Rarity’s friends discover that she has been seeing an escort, they decide to investigate and find out why. What they discover is more shocking than any of them could have imagined.

An alternate and significantly better version of this story can be found here.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 181 )

“Hey, you’re the librarian. I have a slot open now, if you wanna have a go.”

I can totally see Rainbow Dash laughing her flank off at that, while Twilight blushes profusely.:rainbowlaugh::twilightblush:
Anyway, nice, unexpected take on RariJack.

iI really enjoyed this. Good job! :twilightsmile:

:ajsmug:+:duck:=this story.
The idea of an RariJack is as old as "freindship is magic" itself, but you stil managed to give it a twist, a twist that made it stand out from the crowd.
I could not find anything wrong with you grammar, but i am not the best myself so don't be surprised if other people do.
Your writing is detailed but on the same time paced correctly. While not exactly J.R.R tolkien qulity, it is stil wery well written.
now for the rating.
1 green thumb, and 5 spikes: :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

I love your work. Its very tantalizing. So much so, I'm hoping that you continue this plot.
Hmmm.... Twilight having a go with an escort? Now that'll be weird... seeing she now knows whats her job... haha:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

i was totally wating for something like this:

:ajbemused: -ya know...a "tail lifter"

anyway, itz awesome :rainbowkiss:

Props for not going with the changeling cop-out and doing something creative instead.

"What they discover is more implausible than any of them could have imagined."

Still funny, though! :rainbowlaugh:

Nice. RariJack is one of my fave ships (two of my fave ponies), and seeing this is a refreshing take on the ship. Good for you.

Fave and upvote.

Wow. Very nice work. Now my mind is wondering what Twilight's going to do with Sugar Sweet now.

:moustache:

Really enjoyed this - there's nothing quite like a bit of RariJack.

Lots of pleasantly executed soft moments, and a good deal of giggles too. Have a thumb :twilightsmile:

Very well done and I have to agree with the first post. :rainbowlaugh:

Love it! A nicely original idea, and a very enjoyable read.

Oh god that was fun to read, tho I do have to wonder how a pony can pinch herself~ :rainbowkiss: *Yesyes that was rhetorical please no freaky images in response :twilightoops:*

Big thumbs up for a fresh take on a classic ship!

Only thing I would have changed: instead of Sugar Sweet, use a canon background unicorn mare such as Lemony Gem or Holly Dash. There are so many background ponies begging for character development, many of them with Hasbro-official names, that it's a shame to see them go unused in favor of OCs.

Very well done and executed. My only issue with it is that if Unicorn's actually could use changeling magic they would be even more OP. Still, Rarijack is always good, and this was no exception. :ajsmug::raritywink:

Rarijack? I don't even need to read to give it a thumbs up!

Cliché bullshit.

I loved it. :rainbowkiss:

A fresh take on an old favorite, we'll played:moustache:

Now then, after reading, I will say I enjoyed it greatly. A couple of errors, but nothing too bad.

Rarity decided to move on. There was nothing left to lose. “But I really like you, and I thought it would be okay to pretend, just for a little while, that… that you liked me too.”She looked up to meet Applejack’s eyes. “I promise I’ll never see Sugar
Sweet again. Please say that we can still be friends,” her voice began to break, “I just don’t want to lose you.”

I think you pressed enter by accident.

Rainbow Dash pulled her back. “Quiet, don’t let her to see you!”

No need for a 'to.'

Small errors don't take away that this is a good story. Congrats.

Pretty good, although the :ajbemused: :raritydespair: thing at the end probably should have been extended, given how pissed :ajbemused: was, I would expect her to at least need to sleep on it. It also could have been funny to have :twilightblush: employ Sugar Sweets services to help her with the magic transformation or whatever spell.

Honestly I can see Twilight hiring Sugar just to discuss the transformation spell. :facehoof:

AJ

I'm not into lez ponies, but this is still well written

Got a couple good chuckles out of me. Good job. Enjoyed, liked, and faved.

Hilariously blunt Dash is best pony.

Great, loved it. :yay:

Though, you totally could have made a joke out of Twilight hiring Sugar Sweet to teach her transformation magic.

1264212

I had the same question! The story was great, but right at the last second I was left struggling with the concept of Applejack pinching herself.

Aw...

A nice, quick romance.

"Applejack’s attention kept getting caught by the shapely curves of the unicorn’s flank. Occasionally, Rarity cutely swished her tail to one side. Applejack tried to look away, but found herself entranced. Her gaze was anchored to that pearly white flank, willing the tail to swish again."

*sudden mental image of Applejack wearing sunglasses and biting her bottom lip*

1264744

That would be...pretty funny.
"So..who do you like? I've seen you around with that colorful pegasus *transforms into Rainbow Dash* Maybe you'd like to break her sound barrier?
No? Well, perhaps you like the strong, silent type? *puts on a strap-on, transforms into Big Macintosh* Still no? A powerful unicorn like you needs an equally powerful mate...*Sugar Sweet concentrates for a bit, then a bright flash of light as she transforms into Princess Celestia* Are you hot for teacher?"

"Uhh, thanks, but no thanks. What I REALLY want to know is how you perform such skillful transformations!"

Hadnt readed yet but knows gonna be good... :twilightblush:

1265703 that first one would be doubly funny, cause Rainbow is still nearby :rainbowlaugh:

Well that was interesting. I would probably react the same way if I were Applejack.

RariJack with a twist, loved it. :ajsmug::raritystarry:

Oooh, RariJack. Well, I quite enjoyed this and it's been a while since I've seen some that was this good.:rainbowkiss:

:applejackunsure:

Applejack goes way too fast from understandably pissed to makeouts, and Rarity being ridiculously chaste with a freaking prostitute seems like a contrived way to make it feel less uncomfortable. The ship-logic kind of ruins it.

Quite interesting. Made me giggle a little.

Rarijack, for the win! And this...was so beautiful :pinkiesad2: You've earned a follower, a like and a favourite!
i87.photobucket.com/albums/k147/LTvball121/CryingWoman-ItsSoBeautiful.gif

How in god's name did this get into the feature box? :derpyderp1: You people are silly.

1263500
Thank You!

1263631
:twilightblush:

1263697
Yay, I wrote something original! Thank you for the mustaches.

1263701
Twilight wouldn't even know what to do with herself. :twilightoops:

1263724
:rainbowlaugh: I love you.

1263788
I'm actually not sure what 'changeling cop out' you're referring to. But thanks all the same. :twilightsmile:

1263810
I thought 'shocking' would draw in readers. :moustache:

1263919
Thank you!

1263940
I'm more curious as to what Dash is going to do. :rainbowwild:

1263989
:twilightsmile:

1264027
Uggh, that was such a missed opportunity. Can't believe I didn't think of it. :facehoof:

1264060
:raritywink:

1264079
Thank you!

1264212
Yeah, but I just couldn't think of any other way for that to play out though. Maybe she could have bit herself? :applejackconfused:

1264506
... I actually don't even particularly like the RariJack ship... :twilightblush:

1264533
:rainbowkiss:

Responding to all these comments is taking so long, I think might not have time to read the new updates for Lost and Found. :twilightangry2: Seriously, why isn't that in the feature box? Oh well, I'm not gonna complain when something good happens.

1264609
Thank you!

1264654
Fixed, pointing out errors is much appreciated.

1264662
A fair point.

1264744
:rainbowlaugh: Hilarious because it's true.

1264758
Not into lez ponies?! :pinkiegasp: Thank you!

1264809
:twilightsmile:

1264887
I'll be honest, I included Dash just so that she could say her "She's a hooker" line. :rainbowwild:

1265061
:moustache:

1265301
Indeed, another missed opportunity. :ajsleepy:

1266508
:trixieshiftright::pinkiehappy:
Twilight is still best smile pony.:twilightsmile:

1265352
Yeah, I really should have come up with something better.

1265703
:twilightsmile:

1265772
:applejackconfused:
I may or may not have been projecting myself in the story in that passage. :rainbowwild:

1265851
Well, I'm glad one of us is sure.

1265868
Indeed, so would I.

1265935
:raritywink:

1265945
Thank you!

1266229
Once again, a fair point. I have no real rebuttal. The idea was that AJ would be so happy to find out that Rarity had feelings for her that it overrode her anger. Ship logic, it is what it is.

1266278
:twilightsmile:

1266295
Eh, more what?

1266309
Thank you! :pinkiehappy:

1266554 Sure of what?

Also, cool profile pic. Dash looks evil in there, kinda cool =3

What bugs me is that she was spending all her time with a floozy to realized Spike would treat her like a princess for the rest of her life. I think he's gonna want his fire ruby back, since in the context of this fanfic, it ain't hers anymore.

1265851
Well, that just makes the scene impossible then. She'd change into Rainbow and Dashie'd pounce her like a fox on a trampoline!

Liked the story though... would there be any objections if Sugar got around a little bit? I've got an idea orntwo she'd be ideal for. :pinkiegasp:

1266554 moar chapters silly!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::eeyup::moustache::trollestia::derpytongue2:

1266533
I actually agree with you, but they're just so darn cute together. :rainbowkiss:

1266575
I got just a horrendous opinion from someone over on ponychan. I thought for sure everyone would hate this.
How wrong our expectations can be. :yay:

And yeah, I love this screen cap. One of the coolest expressions I've ever seen her make.

1266611
I didn't think about that. Poor Spike... :fluttercry:

1266738
Oh, I'm sure she gets around.
Har Har :rainbowwild:
In all seriousness, nothing would make me happier than seeing Sugar Sweet show up in another fan work.

1266813
Oh...well..erm...I'm not really sure what else to do with it... sorry... :fluttershysad:

Well played sir. Many internets.

Also,
> Applejack looked at her like she’d just declared that apples were a vegetable
Lol'd so hard.

1266972 No one does. It's been getting me more and more depressed (not to mention occasionally pissed off) these last few months.

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