- Member Since 10th Jun, 2015
- offline last seen 1 hour ago
Phantom-Dragon
An Asian-American brony who is a fan of Spike, Discord, and Jackie Chan.
Phantom-Dragon
Joined 10th Jun, 2015 ·
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Good opening and introduction to Spike's aspirations and such
Spike's found himself on a strange island, but Newt Chimera seems to be hiding something
Dr. Grogar really wants Spike to work for him, but no way he'd assist a mad man. And it looks like Newt's already become the doc's newest victim.
11130346
They don't call Grogar the "Father of Monsters" for nothing. Do they?
This is looking awesome, and funny with Spike's constant screaming and panicking with dealing with the girls. But at least he knows they won't eat him or do worse to him.
11130453
Spike doesn't need to be turned into a dogman just to be with the girls.
What are you, crazy? Then all they can do is eat and sleep and mate and roll around in your own filth. And mate and slee- Where do I sign up?
This certainly is a... unique concept. I'm kinda interested to see where this goes from here.
What is girls suraus? I found a manga called girls saurus if that is what it is meant to be
11130996
That's the one.
The description reminds me of Doctor Franklin's Island, which in turn was also inspired by Moreau. That was one of my favorite books in middle school.
I was also part of a few roleplays on Fanfiction.net and GaiaOnline that used the half animal concept. It's probably one of my favorite story devices.
11130563
awesome reference, Homer
Is it possible for the author to draw the She-Beast designs because I have trouble imagining them?
A really nice and Heartwarming moment between Spike and Fluttershy. If was very well written. Nice job. The ending was pretty abrupt though.
flying foxes don't echolocate and rely solely on their eyesight to navigate, also most bats have excellent eyesight
11132012
Oh sure. Now you tell me. Harumph.
But seriously, thanks for the tidbit. I didn't know fruit bats are one of the few exceptions for bats.
Good one. Love Spike's bonding with Fluttershy, and how the girls are all trying to cope with what's happened to them. And in time Spike will be comfortable enough to explain everything to all of them about himself.
Last we saw him, he was in the middle of transformation. Wonder what has happened to him since then?
Interesting story, I will looking for the update, your writting is good and easy to read. I like the plot you make and the comedy momments make me laugh hahaha. I guess we will have a very good harem-furry story right here. Have a nice day <3
Can't wait for Starlight to show up
You fight to survive. You eat to survive. I believe that's as natural as nature can be. You lost your humanity when you start killing for pleasure or profit. At the very least, you tried to avoid cannibalism - and I think that's good enough.
I think this is a pretty solid, if a bit overplayed, trope. Good story so far, and it should be interesting to see what happens from here. That said, there are some things to address - for one, show, don't tell. For instance:
This could be enhanced with descriptions. What are the smells like? So thick and disgusting he can barely breath without vomiting? Or are the bones so old and long forgotten that they have next to no smell? Either one tells us a bit of information about the setting too. Just food for thought.
In addition: Spike seriously needs some internal dialogue. He talks to himself like every thought that goes through his head goes directly to his mouth. It makes no sense IMHO to have him say something like:
When he could just be said to have seen the claw marks, marveled at their size and depth, maybe tremble in fear a little. Something more than happened. Overall, it feels like the story is happening to Spike, not with him, or however. Anyways, I hope you keep some of this in mind! What I've read so far I've enjoyed, just wanted to tack on a small note to hopefully see this improve :)
11146500
Thanks for advice(s)! I'll be sure to improve, later on in the future.
Yeah, granted, I've spent too much time playing video games, where it seems the characters were talking to themselves – and by extension, us – that it sorta became a norm for me.
But I'll keep that in mind with the internal dialogues from here on out.
awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter
awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter
I can’t remember does that island have a volcano… it would be cool if ‘mr mad scientist’ used a sample of foreign dna he found sum how preserved in the magma/lava on spike. He doesn’t really know what it would do, but it had to be special if the dna didn’t degrade in the extreme heat. Turns out it was dragon dna. And due to dragons being as intelligent as humans, spike doesn’t become mindless like all the other man-beasts…
Very funny with what Spike and Rainbow were getting themselves into. And Spike does have to know regardless of what these beasts used to be, the person they were have got to be long gone. And in this case it's survival of the fittest regardless of what the beasts used to be, or even regular animals endangered or not.
I'll be honest with you, my first furry crush was actually Pilot Jenny from the cartoon Bucky O'Hare.
pbs.twimg.com/media/DxHFjNqVAAERai1.jpg
Looks like Spike is winning them over one by one. I wonder how he'll do with Sunset who pretty much threatened to rip out his throat when they first met.
The bits with him and Applejack were very heartwarming. Too bad Spike's phobia is so severe. At this point, I can't see how he'll get over it and closer to the girls.
And it looks like the plot is about to thicken! We're back with Grogar who is out to get Spike and if that'll happen, he'll find the girls too! Looking forward to see where that goes.
Can't wait for the next chapter! Keep up the good work.
Will we ever know why Spike is gynophobic? There has to be a cause of his problems.
Hoping for Starlight to show up soon
Spike and Applejack are off to a very friendly start. And at least she knows about his issue. How this started they'll have to wait until he's comfortable to talk about it. Whoever this hunter is will be determined to catch Spike
11176019
In good time dear sir.
Interesting choice for Spike to be introducing to himself. And to give him gynophobia. Also Starlight taking an interest to Spike? Cool!
I wonder if she'll become the next hybrid creation due to others being turned into such things (bases on the description)
Let's see what next chapter will bring *begins reading*
Nya!
Spike following the beast is brave even though it does seem dangerous. it is his only lead.
"I don't want to do this" and the fact that he leaves seems to indicate that Mr Chimera has been forced into this in some way. We need to know more about this situation
Ok, so Grogar is the head of the facility. It seems that he betrayed Mr Chimera, maybe like how he asked Spike to join his research. If Mr Chimera was subjugated to the experimentation, then unless Grogar was a man to his word, Spike was going to get backstabbed at some point.
I wonder who's Chimera's father was. Could it be Grogar?! The 'father' was referred as some higher up, and The Chimera (MLP) does look like something Grogar, father to all monsters, would create (MLP) and be 'the father of' in this world.
If so, that just makes Grogar more twisted to have betrayed his very son.
Also, even though they did some very wrong things, RIP to Chrysalis, Tirek, Sombra and Cozy. If they were his first experiments, well they most likely died in very gruesome deaths, or they've become the most feral of the group.
I wonder how Grogar got his funds though. You need more than just a group of mercenaries to capture crime lords and have all of this modern equipment. And even with the money, somebody should've made an investigation about the missing boats.
I'm saying 50/50 that he's being supported by the US government of this world. To allow such big criminals like Storm King to exist within their own coasts is unbelievable, unless the government is corrupt itself an unstable.
If the US was to gain something from letting Grogar capture these criminals and others, it would most likely be military use. To have 'Super Soldiers' capable of transforming into these beasts would propel this version of the US ahead of others in terms of ground troops. I wouldn't be surprised that with the amount of corruption in it's borders the US is rapidly falling from it's superpower status as another nation is taking it's place. So having these new type of soldier will make conventional warfare easier for the US.
Considering I've been talking this much just by Chapter 3, you've done a good job in making people speculate. I like this story now.
Hm. Theres a lot to unload here.
First of all, I find it interesting that they have different names. Nathan Draco and Tiffany Sparkle? Like Nathan and Tiffany sounds like human names, but their surnames aren't.
I know that changing names could be them trying to cope with their new identities, but that only applies to the girls. There's not much reason that Spike would have such a radically different name to his real one.
But hey, this is just a minor thing.
Now what happened to Spike is quite worrisome. What type of community did he live in?! If I feel uncomfortable hearing this, then this certainly explains why Spike was fearful of girls. This world is more corrupt than I thought.
So Sunset has the biggest size huh? Interesting.
Also it was both brave and crazy for Spike to have hit the beast with a stick in between the legs. Very big oof for both of them.
I wonder if this creature genetically made or genetically altered. Cause if it's the latter that meant that this was once a human. If so, Rest In Peace, your torment is now over. But I feel this was just a genetically created creature, no humans hopefully
So these were once Chimera's students? Did Chimera feel regret towards betraying them like he was worried about Spike's saftey? He might've been manipulated before like how he was turned against his will to kill Spike. Maybe Chimera was more cold hearted before but when he met Spike he felt remorse or didn't want Spike to suffer?
Yeah Rainbow should've been more careful with her words. Also interesting how Fluttershy and Spike had a mini bonding moment due to what they both like and experienced in the past.
I wonder if Chimera was being genetically controlled by Grogar to capture people to take to the island. Like a queen giving orders to her ants. It would explain how he was remotely controlled into turning into the beast while saving Spike.
Or maybe it's just a device. But genetic signal switch sounds something Grogar would do.
Story looks very good!
Aw! I hope that when they return that Scootaloo is still around that that Rainbow will be able to return spending time with her.
I hope that down the line there could be a possibility that a way to cure the girls is found. They deserve to be happy.
Huh. Grogar wants Spike alive. Huh
Well, this looks fun!
Aptitude
11183308
Thank you!
I admit I haven't been commenting on this story often, but Spike 'really' needs to get over whatever problems he's dealing with in this story. For me, his case sounds like an 'extreme' version of this anime kid with a female fear who discovered a world entirely of women through his bathtub. Otherwise, I don't think he comprehends how lucky he was in that situation with Applejack. Or perhaps that's just the typical guy talk coming from me.
Another interesting chapter. I feel so sorry for those that lost who they were, and those who had to experience the rest of their lives on the island.
Again, just want to bring up my theory of Grogar being supported by a corrupt US government because there's no way that nobody has found the island. Unless of course this is the equivalent of the Bermuda triangle, making it the perfect spot to hide? But still, supplies must've been sent here to maintain all his equipment, so I wonder what's going on.
I already showed other points as to why I think this theory could work (example crime lords on the West Coast) I hope to hear a response cause I'm very hooked into the story.
Well at least Pinkie tried to make Spike happy, and it's sad to think even if the she-beasts end up turning back into humans over time they'll lose their memories and just act like neanderthals. And Elephant graveyards, a treasure trove of ivory, which is also illegal to take from elephants dead or alive.
Rarity sure showed that crab, but Pinkie got the last shot at it. Nice to see Spike warming up to Rarity now, especially after watching her do such a beautiful dance for him.
11189993
I'd like to see someone make a game, or a fan animation, out of it – Rarity fighting a giant crab.
I'm wondering if it'll be a bigger meme than that MordeTwi meme that exploded last year.