The gathered heads of the Fifth Hive bickered and argued around me as I idly twirled a pencil around with a hoof. Around me, the magical torches sent glittering reflections across the smooth pink crystal walls of the Crystal Caves.
The gathered changelings included the two Princes, the rest of the First Fang, Captain Katydid, and my new aide, Bray Call. In addition, there were two other assistants from Coxa’s ever-growing cabinet of staff helping her learn the new role. Considering she was the only pony in the room, she probably felt like a fish out of water.
Nevertheless, the cream colored unicorn was doing a good job of picking things up quickly. We were a long way away from the town of Hooferville where we first met but apparently she was already making friends around the Palace and the Crystal Caves.
‘At least one of us is getting something out of this mess.’
Currently, the changelings were bickering over something I never thought I would have to sit through: a budget meeting. Apparently, the Fifth Hive had grown so quickly in its governmental businesses and divisions that we were now having funding issues.
‘This day just gets better and better. I’m definitely getting a drink after this. No, fuck that. I’m making Luna get me a drink! She’s gonna have to take me out on a date somewhere tonight…’
However, in the end, I had no one to blame but myself. The entire meeting was called due to my lack of foresight.
I had set the three groups of leaders to research and plan the future of each of their respective fields. They would be responsible for the bureaucracy, social and political revolution, and the military advancements of the Fifth Hive.
Each, in turn, created a plan of action. They gave their plans names, even.
The first of these three plans was Operation Pencil. Ever the cunning comedian, Coxa had named his plan of action after what he needed. It called for an expansion and clear division of the Fifth Hive’s hierarchy and ruling organizations and the acquisition of supplies to feed the growing government. There wasn’t much more to be said; it was the transition of unofficial duty rosters of a medieval court to the full-fledged bureaus and agencies of a modern government– if in miniature.
The next plan was Prince Pharynx’s creation. Just as cleverly named, Operation Build-A-Fuck-Ton-Of-Airships came to be when I asked Pharynx, Froghopper, and Katydid to come up with the Fifth Hive’s military advancements. I had put an emphasis on mobility. Too much of an emphasis, as it turned out. While the plan did outline the deconstruction of the Legions and reformation of them into proper combined-arms fighting forces, it kicked the majority of those changes down the road in favor of, well, building a fuck-ton of airships. The need for a rapid response army would only grow in the future and would no doubt be useful in deploying rapidly to Nisir.
Finally, the only plan with some merit was Operation Phoenix. Thorax and I had created it together; outlining the necessary cultural changes, Operation Phoenix would forever shift changeling society away from the totalitarian-communist hybrid government that the Fourth Hive ruled as. Everything from establishing the nuclear family model to revolutionizing the education curriculum was covered under this plan.
‘If only the others would see its importance.’
“Phas! Tell Coxa that I’m right!” Thorax demanded.
“Coxa, Thorax is right,” I said, still twirling the pencil.
“Oh, Phasma’s not even paying attention. Watch: Phasma, tell Thorax that I’m right!”
“Thorax, Coxa is right,” I repeated in the same monotone voice.
“Clearly this means that you both are right,” Lacewing joked.
Sighing, I dropped the pencil and addressed the changelings, “Are you all finished yet? Got it all out of your system?”
“No, I’m not done yet,” Pharynx announced. “.... Cocksucker!” He jabbed a hoof at Coxa. “Alright, now I’m finished.”
Pharynx chuckled to himself and hoof-bumped Captain Froghopper, the leader of the smaller scout legion.
I cleared my throat, “The expedition departs in one day. I have wasted enough time here. You all are receiving the standard budget. Make do with what you can. Expect your proposed projects to be restricted for a while. That means no new airships, Froghopper.”
Froghopper cursed under his breath.
“Thorax,” I continued, “is getting the boost first.” The changelings booed, hissed, and one cheered enthusiastically. “Enough, enough! We need to stabilize the changeling population and the food supply immediately. The Nightmares aren’t coming right away.”
Thorax nodded, “We desperately need to start the next generation soon! I’ll spread word that the restriction on egg-laying has been lifted. Does this also mean that my request for pony-changeling classes has been approved?”
I nodded, “More than that. In addition to the integration and cooperation courses, I want you to look into setting up parenting classes. The Broodnurses should be especially helpful when it comes to larva care.”
“Parenting classes?” Coxa parroted. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“The egg-clutch system has been abolished,” Thorax explained. “Meaning, we are expected to look after our own eggs now. Eggs, larva, nymphs…”
Lacewing excitedly clapped her hooves, “This is going to be great! I know a number of other lings that would have loved to be Broodnurses!”
“Well, if it means we get to start making eggs, I suppose the Hive’s internal structure can languish for a few more weeks,” Coxa mused. “But I’m telling you, the sooner we get around to finalizing and officializing the bureaus within the Hive, the easier all of our lives will be!”
Groaning, I put my head in my hooves, “Yes, that. It’s time for something I’ve been dreading. Coxa, I want you to draw up the rough draft for the constitution of the Fifth Hive.”
“The what-now?”
“The constitution. The ponies have one, go ask about it. I’ll send you a list of important things and see if I can give you a rough idea of what I want, but I’ve sacrificed my participation in writing it for the privilege of going to wizard kindergarten. You’ll be enlisting everyone’s voice and help in writing it, so the sooner you get started, the better.”
He frowned, “.... I’ll, uh, get started then?”
“Good,” I lifted my head. “Captain Katydid, how was the initial training session?”
“... We’re going to need a lot of time and effort,” the soldier said. “There were fights, My King.”
“Hopefully those stop soon,” I muttered. “Anyways, keep doing what you can. How’s the pegasus I sent your way, Quick Search?”
“Invaluable,” Katydid smiled. “It’s not easy reintegrating the former Legions into the combined-races military that we need. Quick Search has been great at stopping a lot of fights before they even begin.
I grinned and leaned back in my chair, “That’s good to hear. Maybe we should train a corps of officers just like ‘em…. Name ‘em Commissars. Set them on the task of ensuring mental health and cooperation between Legions as well as with outside military forces… Pharynx. The Expedition sets out tomorrow. Are you all set?”
Pharynx crossed his hooves, “Yeah. For now.”
“The second wave will come in a month,” I waved his worries off.
“You know my opinion on all this,” he growled. “I don’t want to go to Nisir.”
“The Hive needs you–”
“Which is why I’m still going,” he cut me off.
Thorax reached over and hugged his brother, “Don’t worry, Pharynx! I’ll have to come and visit frequently! After all, what’s a colony without setting up things for the next generation?”
Pharynx’s glare and stoic exterior melted away. Slowly, he brought up his forelegs and returned the hug.
I found Luna sitting at the massive desk that had taken up half of the sitting room before her bedchamber. The candle sitting on a silver plate on the desk had burnt low, pooling blue wax around its listing form.
‘Another late night.’
“Hey Luna, why the… long face?” I asked as I strode up behind her.
“What does that mean?” She muttered, not looking up from her paperwork.
“It’s a horse joke. Laugh.”
“Ha.”
I loomed over her, resting my chin on her shoulder as I stared down at her paperwork.
"I am glad you are here," Luna announced. "Talking to myself can only erase so much boredom. And, if I am being honest, I have talked to myself far too much over the past…. How did your meeting go? As boring and dry as my own evening?"
"Yeah… hey Luna, is this stuff important?"
She turned to give me a questioning glance, "Of sorts?"
'Oh well!'
I backed up from her, making her turn fully to give me an even-more-confused stare. Then, with a running leap, I came around the side of the desk and belly-flopped onto it.
Papers were sent flying, the candle was knocked over- and promptly extinguished with a flick of my magic, ink and cooling wax stained my carapace, and, above it all, a highly confused Princess yelled out in alarm.
She stood up in shock, "Phasma! What the hell is… Gah! You loathsome gadfly! Do you have any idea how long it will take to reorganize this mess?!"
As I laid on her desk, I shook my hooves towards her and whined, "Lunaaa! I'm bored! All I've done in the past week is paperwork, therapy, training, and bureaucracy! Take me on a date!"
Luna shook her head, "We all suffer under the cruel tyranny of bureaucracy, Phasma…. Wait. Take you on a date?"
"Yes! I want to go do something somewhere with you."
She tapped her chin, "That does sound like a good idea… Very well, we shall indeed court tonight."
I pumped a hoof, "Yes!"
"But first, you must clean up and organize my entire desk," she ordered me as she got up and headed to the bathroom.
Cringing, I called out after her, "Not-yes! Luna! Wait, come back! Can't I dump this on someone else, like one of the aides or staff members we take for granted?” Groaning, I got up and started picking up the hundreds of papers that I had sent flying, “This is stupid. I’m rich and powerful now, I’m supposed to be immune to the consequences of my actions!”
Our date tonight was to hit the streets of Canterlot undisguised and buy unnecessary gifts and outfits. All in all, it was turning out better than I had thought.
Luna twirled around, presenting her new outfit to me.
She was wearing a massive sun hat that had a bouquet of blue flowers on the rim, a silver necklace with a shooting star pendant, a red coat with a tall collar that I had already forgotten the name of, and her usual silver peytral, tiara, and boots.
I was wearing a blue suit vest, a large brown camel coat, and a noticeable lack of any equivalent to Luna’s tiara.
We had picked out each other’s outfits. It was readily apparent that she had a lot more experience when it came to anything fashion related. The tailor that we were shopping at was able to quickly craft entire coats or shirts in mere hours thanks to magic. So after placing our orders, getting fitted, and picking out materials, we returned later that night for the final products.
They were certainly below the quality that the nobles and royalty of Canterlot usually wore, but that was perfectly fine for us.
“You know, there’s a stereotype to be found here,” I said.
“I think you are right,” she giggled. “After all, the best way to a stallion’s heart is through the markets,” she pointed to my outfit.
“What?”
“I am just glad that you were able to not ruin my good complexion with your choices,” she twirled again.
“No, no, no. You have it backwards. It’s mares that always go shopping!” I insisted.
Luna shook her head, “Nay, it is you who are mistaken. Nag.”
“Wench.”
She blinked, “That is a sailor insult, is it not? Have you spent some time aboard a ship in your years before Equus?”
“No, I haven’t. It’s just an insult,” I explained. “Alright, the clothes are paid for, you have your pendant, and… what was next tonight?”
“Oh!” Luna clapped her hooves. “There is a river, I am told, that runs through central Canterlot. Celestia tells me that many shops have been set up along its banks. It should be an excellent place for dinner!”
“A boardwalk?” I continued after Luna shrugged, “Sure, sounds fun. Lead the way,” I said, gesturing for Luna to walk ahead of me.
As we walked down the streets of Canterlot, enjoying the sights and greeting ponies as we went, Luna and I talked about our week. Occasionally, we were stopped by ponies who wanted to speak with the Princess. Or insult the King. Either way, it was exposure that was good for us. Seeing Luna so cheerfully speak to her ponies made me smile. Both the ponies and Luna were adorable and seeing Luna happy made me happy.
She had spent a thousand years in isolation. Normally, isolation would drive someone insane in a fraction of that time. Luna… I didn’t know how she survived. I didn’t ask.
Several ponies demanded that I personally pay for all their lost wages, all those foals who could have gotten hurt– despite the fact that one only foal had actually gotten hurt by my actions, for lost wages, and any other reason they could make up to demand money from me. Some just wanted to insult me for bringing devastation to Equestria.
Most just wanted to gawk at me with no opinion one way or the other.
My time in the Fourth Hive numbed me to such awkward interactions. They would always be a tiny bit painful to endure, but more often than not I had something to distract me, such as a pony cussing me out with the foul-language of a 6-year-old or a conversation with Luna. The less I paid attention, the better.
Interestingly enough, the ponies who did confront me were… forgiving. Relatively speaking. I would probably be facing push-back and hatred for decades to come, but most ponies seemed to want to vent at me, hear some apologies, then just move on with their lives.
I admired that. I certainly wasn’t capable of letting go of grudges like ponies could.
Eventually, Luna and I found ourselves sitting at a table at some restaurant on one of Canterlot’s boardwalks. There was a small cordon between us and the other ponies; our respective guard attachments that had been shadowing each of us decided that the ponies of Canterlot were getting a little too friendly with us. Since Division-P was mostly still at large, the worry over security was warranted.
“So, tomorrow your expedition sets off,” Luna remarked as she sipped an iced coffee.
“All the wagons are loaded, provisions stocked, routes planned, and paperwork filed,” I sighed. “The recolonization effort officially begins tomorrow. Though, uh, the changelings here in Canterlot may be expanding their numbers sooner than later.”
Luna raised an eyebrow, “Is that so?”
“Yeah. We’re… on the brink of extinction. The Crystal Caves– the Fifth Hive will be expanding our numbers and laying down roots. Canterlot’s eventually going to be a city on top of another city. It’s cities all the way down, Luna.”
“That is… good?”
“Yes,” I nodded. “The nymphs are being brought over from the Fourth Hive. I’ll be meeting them when they get here.”
“Speaking of foals,” Luna scooched her chair closer to mine. “Nightmare Night.”
I sighed heavily in relief. Luna glared at me but continued.
“It is in three days and Twilight Sparkle has invited me to Ponyville to partake in the celebration there. You will join me for these celebrations.”
“Luna!” I whined. “I… My schedule is so packed that sometimes it feels like I have to schedule when to take a shit!”
“You do not shit, Phasma.”
“But what if I wanted to?!”
She batted her eyelashes and leaned close to me, “Pleeeeease?”
“Luna–”
Luna leaned against me, “Phasma. I… this holiday has deep connotations and connections with Nightmare Moon. I need your reassuring presence. And for you to carry the candy they sacrifice to me.”
I groaned, “Fine. I’ll go. I’ll have to rearrange things with Thorax and tell him to–”
“Oh, and do not forget that Celestia is throwing you a birthday party in two days.”
“– go fuck himself, I guess. We gotta cool it with the whole ‘life existing outside of work,’ Luna.”
She smiled at me, “No.”
I tapped the table as I thought, “Can’t move that to… gotta… You’re killing me, Smalls. You and your sister and her damned magical Kindergarten.”
“You will find the time. Leave the scheduling to your aides. You do have aides, right?”
“Yes, Bray Call.” I said. “You remember her, right?”
Her eyes widened, “I do. The mare from the hamlet in which you washed up following the Invasion. How fares your friends from there?”
“Busy. I don’t hear much from Warm Dew but Bray Call and Quick Search are hard at work within the Fifth Hive. Bray is helping me out while former-Sergeant Quick Search is in the Swarm, doing military things. I was planning on visiting him but…”
“But you lack the time,” Luna finished.
“It’s becoming a theme.”
“It will be the theme for the rest of your life. Or for however long you lead your Hive directly. My sister has been at it for thousands of years, whereas I managed in the past to delegate many of my tasks away. Sadly, it will be some time before I can accomplish that blessing again.”
I sighed and sipped my own drink, a cold apple cider. My face scrunched up in disgust as I tried my drink for the first time.
“People drink this shit? It’s like a liquid headache.”
“‘Tis one of the most popular drinks in agrarian Equestria. Most ponies do not drink it for the taste.”
I chuckled, “I could have guessed that. This stuff is non-alcoholic, though. Remember the Prohibition that’s still in effect? So… what was I going to say?”
“I believe you were about to kiss me and shower me in affection,” Luna said, nuzzling me.
“Oh Luna," I whispered. "When I think of you, I start to shake and get all tingly inside. It's like I've broken a rib, only without the mind-numbing pain."
"Ha! That was almost sweet. I will take it."
While it is still a very good thing, I do hope Phasma has planned for, or at least expects, the dropoff in productivity and fighting capabilities that results from almost half of one's workforce and mobilization pool instead raising larvae.
Though, considering this is Phasma, I doubt it, and he will only realize it afterthefact because he doesnt have time to be thinking.
Luna is best Pony Princess.
Coxa is best comedy act.
Lacewing is best cute Snuggelbug.
Phasmatodea is best... Something
Great chapter. I wonder what invention might help them stand against the coming storm...
Zeppelin Airfleet? My inner German is tickeld
Phasma is seriously about to micromanage his Empire like a Stellaris playthrough and I'm all for it.
11371517
At this point he's closer to Europa Universalis or Crusader Kings. Gotta wait a little bit for Stellaris.
I just simply love the interaction between best Princess Waifu and Snuggelbug Husbando
How is Phasmatodeas dreamwalking coming along?
For that matter, how are the Dream scopes of Changelings stay protected?
11371522
Feels more like 'Age of Empires' , 'Anno Series' or 'Civilisation V' to me.
I do love me some nice love
heh
Nice chapter
Seriously Phas, the 41st Millennium was such a bureaucratic nightmare that it had for all intents and purposes already died by the time the series started and was just too slow to notice. And also started out as a parody. It didn't work any better than the Horus Heresy you also took notes from, and things only went slightly better for you than it did for him.
Rich, powerful, and literal royalty to boot. That still doesn't mean you should push your luck.
11371485
Yeah I mentioned on the discord that he should've kept part of the whole brood thing, sorta like how eggs/youngins are taken care of in wings of fire. (rainwings)
Basically structure it so the community can easily come in and treat/protect the young etc because as soon as war breaks out atleast half the parents and probably half the boog population, is gonna be leaving.
The royals have this to face now:
Don’t forget their also in charge of shooting any troops that display cowardice instead of fighting bravely in the name of
The ImperiumEquestria.11371544
♡
For a moment I thought she was gonna ask him for a child XD
YESSS! This is what I was hoping for!
Ah! Another chapter to enjoy!
Two chapters and a prologue is way too many chapters without PhasXLuna interaction gosh dang it! I’ll forgive you because Phas will be in Nightmare Night. Although that does make me look forward to seeing the reactions of the average Equestrian to the Dreaded Prince, no doubt Nightmare Night is going to be a good look at how the Mane 6 and Equestria feels toward Phasma.
Your doing a good job Slider, I look forward every week for these!
11371588
11371573
Having some sort of Chaplain role is pretty important for any military. You're going to need some way to promote and maintain the mental health of your soldiers.
Yes, but naming them after the guys who, as 11371588 pointed out, kill anyone on their own side who shows an ounce of self-preservation instincts...
Incidentally, Ciaphas Cain was the Commissar. This was half the reason he got away with it, and the other half is that his attempts to run away invariably caused him to blunder into even more heroism.
11371656 I did too.
I am absolutely dreading how Nightmare Night is going to go. Poor Luna went through it in the first place, but now with Phas there too and the fact that most of the Element Bearers either don't know or actively dislike him... I do not have high hopes.
11371522
Complete with a horse being king.
11371786
The ruler you're thinking of was named Rainbow Dash, and at least one person has referenced this in an EQG story. (It was essentially positing that EQG is set centuries in the modern day of the timeline of that Crusader Kings game).
11371522
11371786
He even has the Immortal trait, he can't be killed by anything other than warfare and bullshit
Guy's got 30 Martial, but a 10 in combat prowess propped up by equipment, and 10 in Stewardship propped up by a GOAT Steward
Question, do you have an almanac for main and supporting characters? I keep forgetting Warm Dew, Bray Call, and Quick Search's subspecies, gender, character traits, and backstories. All I remember of them is "Phas' friends from Hooverville".
With 500K+ worth of words, it's hard to keep track of everything.
No, it was calcium, which is slightly acidic. Not to be confused with sugar, which is neutral. /s
Love this chaprer
11371942
I should probably make one
This noise in Phas' head when he's asked to do anything.
11371764
This is where nobody but Phasma getting his references is an advantage. He could name his diplomatic corps the Auschwitz SS division and everyone would go "...is that Germaneic?"
Meanwhile Phasma practises his pokerface and goes "something like that, yeah."
11372298
It's still tempting fate, and his luck is bad enough as it is (he used it all up being born into royalty).
Why bother introducing a nuclear family? And why make the change compulsory (as Phasma and Thorax apparently plan to do)?
I mean, I fail to see why the egg-clutch system is inherently worse than nuclear families, or why both systems can't simply coexist with one another, or, in the same line, why individual changelings apparently can't be trusted to choose for themselves which one they prefer.
Also, and maybe I am too conservative for my own good, but radically altering the familial structure of an entire society with the stroke of a pen without even given a moment's thought to why things are the way they are in the first place seems rather rash and unwise to me.
Then again Phasma is an absolute monarch that's probably insanely popular among the changelings right now, so surely he can decree whatever he pleases and the lings will unconditionally support it. Which means that whatever he decrees will probably succeeded thanks to the sheer will of the nation alone.
11372967
Because people want to raise their own kids. That's the bottom line, the end-all be-all. This would also shift the burden away from the state and allow for a higher population growth. So people are happier (long term, at least.) and the Hive can grow larger.
You updated YESTERDAY? I checked yesterday, how’d I miss it?!
Good chapter, especially for its unfolding of near-future concerns. Pharynx looks like he’s coping well, which is of course completely ambiguous in relation to how he actually feels; Magic Kindergarten looms on the horizon, with uncertain possibility of being humiliated by foals; and Saint Phasma has named his peacekeeping core after an order renowned for stamping out heresy, which surely could never be an omen of things to come. Between all that and the closer concern of Nightmare Night, I’d say there’s excellent potential for shenanigans, and I look forward to watching it unfold!
11372997
I had forgotten you had set things up so that changelings straight up lacked families, I had to go back to CE and check. Generally fics give them a more clan/extended family based society, and since I didn't recall this story's more dystopian tale on 'lings I seem to have assumed it was the same in this case.
Having said that your assumptions that possessing nuclear families would be overall cheaper and lead to higher population growth don't seem that obvious to me eitherway.
As others have pointed out before, the egg-clutching system ought to be generally cheaper for society thanks to the specialization of labour and economies of scale it creates. Sure, you shift the cost from the state to society at large, but given that the baseline we start from is Chrysalis' totalitarian "everything inside the state" kind of society that shouldn't mean anything. In the sense that there simply shouldn't be a difference between one and the other; between society and the state. So really all that establishing a nuclear family system would do, as far as the economic sphere is concerned, is increase overall costs.
The higher population growth point is both more and less intuitive. More in the sense that in CE we saw that young 'lings were bothered by not having a family, and so it's reasonable to assume that adults feel the same way, and that such feelings might put off some from actually having children. Yet we don't actually know that? From this chapter it seems like food scarcity was what actually inhibited population growth, and that 'lings are overall enthusiastic about reproducing when giving the chance.
And from a purely natalist point of view the nuclear family inhibits population growth, as it increases the personal costs associated with having children, discouraging it (specially if birth control is readily available). In comparison to more extensive familial structures that spread the costs among many and as such make childbearing cheaper for individuals.
Btw, while on the general topic of Phasma's desires to become a changeling Atatürk, I don't know how much you want to focus on his plans to revolutionise society but if you want it to be a main topic you probably should consider showings us more of changeling society. Because as things stand we know next to nothing about it, and 'revolutionary reforms' are quite meaningless if we have no knowledge or understanding of what's being changed.
(you know, feel free to tell me if my long comments are annoying. I have an arguably bad tendency towards verbosity)
Ever notice that invaluable and extremely valuable mean the same thing? Sort of like fat chances and slim chances?
I find her not finding that funny rather funny in and of itself.
Your fault~.
Literally speaking: it's your mess, you're going to have to clean it up.
Oh! Ohohohoh! I know just the reference to make here!
https://m."You're tearing me apart, Luna!"
That was hilarious; so will I!
11373449
Or like flammable and inflammable.
11373548
Wait, what?!
(One Google search later...)
Okay. What dero dropped the ball there?
You'd think it'd be ENflamable, but noooo.
Oh I almost missed this! Haven't even read the first word and already added it to my favorites list
11371589
God I miss Flufflepuff
11376992
Is that a subtle hint to continue to write a update on my Marksaline story or the original content?
11377009
Just found out about your content so for now it's to the original but I may change my mind on that
11377229
Always keep in mind: Where there is a Fluffelpuff there will be a:
camo.fimfiction.net/HGKOVNTrPh_dQIegq-4XQTTfq37sBPSPcGN3_7ZAMFg?url=https%3A%2F%2Fderpicdn.net%2Fimg%2Fview%2F2014%2F7%2F10%2F671941.gif
11377243
Dude I read the description and top comment...I'm going to need a day off and a 4 cans of Monster before reading that. I'm either going to love it or need the energy to leave the country on foot!
Fair
Heh, we could totally envision Phas generating himself an anus just to tell certain ponies, "I manifested this anus for you, solely so I could throw this in your face!"
So Phasma will reshape militaristic communism into non-militaristic one or degrade it to capitalism? Also why abolishing clutches completely if you could make it an option?
11371511
Just have to be careful what you fill them with.
11373548
Yeah, because of stuff like this.
Hydrogen tends to go "boom"--with or without a plutonium trigger charge.
11377009
11377229
whut?
Huh! Sounds interesting. I'll have to check out your stuff, Black-soul.
Unfortunately, as Phas might say, "no promises on how soon."