Unattached

by Silent Whisper

It Isn't All It's Cracked Up To Be

Alicorns were immortal.

Everypony knew that.

I took in a shaky breath as I staggered back to the bowels of my castle, with nothing but the moonlight as my witness. At least my parents’ relief when they’d heard that made a little bit of sense. My mother had been the first to mention it, in fact; she’d said she was grateful that her daughter would get to see Flurry Heart grow up, even if she, herself, didn’t. What mother didn’t expect, didn’t hope that her child would live longer than her?

What mother, indeed. At the rate Shining Armor squared against the continuous problems head-on in the Crystal Empire, it almost felt like he’d have the chance of a coin toss to go first of my immediate family. It was a horrible thing to think and I’d never voice it to my parents (or, indeed, anypony at all), but the thought of living forever changed how I looked at life.

My teeth clenched against the limp thing I half-dragged alongside me as I pressed a panel next to one of the palace walls. Yes, my parents’ joy made sense. My friends, however… their response baffled me.

What right did they have to be happy that I’d outlive them? I’d outlast them by centuries, by millenia, and they saw that as a good thing. If it were just a variation of the old at-least-one-of-us-will-make-it sort of thinking, I’d be able to counter it somehow. Philosophically, if a pony had nothing to die for, what did they have to live for? I could lend them a few books on the matter, and surely some of them would understand.

Rarity should understand it best, out of all my friends. What good is creative pursuit if one had eternity to pursue it? There’d be no rush, no urgency to create, and the drive that filled a pony’s soul would peter out to nothing. I’d sat her down more than once to try to explain it during our tea breaks, but-

I shook my head, partially to get rid of the memories and partially to dislodge a few spiders that’d gotten tangled in the cobwebs my horn had grazed. It’d been a few months since I’d had to go down this passageway, but the castle staff had strict orders to ignore its existence. And that meant spiders. And plenty of time to think.

“Darling,” Rarity had said during our last rendezvous, growing as graceful with age as anypony could. I, in comparison, had mostly just grown in size, which made sitting in the dainty chairs at the cafe distinctly uncomfortable. If it’d been anypony but Rarity, I’d have declined the monthly invitation.

“Yes?” I had said, more for politeness’s sake than anything. The tea had burned my tongue, but I’d drained the china cup anyway. The pain didn’t matter against the backdrop of eternity, and the memory of the taste was far better than the flavor of what was currently pressing against my tongue.

The words were as familiar as they came - there wasn’t an argument that Rarity hadn’t tried before. “I know as well as you do that being a Princess isn’t all glamour. Why, even I wouldn’t wish to fill your shoes during those dreadfully boring meetings, but you’re still our Twilight, and even though I know you’ll miss us terribly when we’re gone, we’d still want you to continue, just as we’d want it for any of us.”

I slumped against the wall, mouthing along as best as I could to the memory of my response around the feathers in my mouth. “You would, and I understand wanting what you think is best for your friends,” I had said. “But it’s not what any of us could have envisioned. There’s a price to immortality, and it’s one I wouldn’t wish for anypony to pay.”

“Twilight-”

“We’ve talked about this, Rarity. The rest of you know why I hate it, and this… it shouldn’t count as living forever if it doesn’t even feel like you’re living at all-”

“You still get that chance!” Rarity’s hoof had slammed into the table, startling the other guests. My mane, wisp-like as it grew into the ethereal wave that Celestia kept hers in, had barely flickered as I stared her down. “It couldn’t have been any other one of us to ascend as you have, Twilight, but it was still you who’ll get to see Equestria grow into something we can’t imagine, and it is us who will had to make peace with it!”

“If I could, I’d give it to any of you who wanted it,” I’d muttered darkly, the shadows around our table deepening for a moment, stretching long and thin like those before the sunset. “I’d give it all away and choose to die someday.”

Rarity had been silent for a while after that, and as I limped into the stark, sterile chamber beneath Canterlot Castle, I wished I’d said more even as I knew there was nothing she hadn’t heard in arguments past.

“Well,” Rarity had said as she’d pushed her chair back and slowly got to her hooves. “We’d choose differently right back, darling. You’re worth far more to us alive, even if we cannot follow in your hoofsteps forever.”

She’d set a few bits on the check and departed, her drink untouched, the warmth of her chair already beginning to fade. I’d sat there for a few more minutes before adding my tip to the bill and making my way back to the castle, where court had been waiting and a thousand other tiny priorities would see fit to nestle their way into my schedule.

I flicked on the lights in the room before gingerly dragging the warm weight onto the table in the center. I’d been later than I’d wanted to be, and it would have been a mere few hours before the process would begin naturally.
It was something I refused to let them see, and after I answered some of Rainbow Dash’s questions slightly more graphically than may have been necessary, they all became far less curious. Annoyingly enough, even Rainbow Dash said it was worth it for my “radicalness” to last forever. It wasn’t something she had to deal with, so I guess it made sense.

I leveled my gaze at it, still on the table. The feathers of my severed wing twitched in time to my heartbeat. All in all, it wasn’t the worst injury I’d received. It probably wouldn’t have even been fatal if somepony else had been there to stop the bleeding in time, and I preferred trudging back to the catacombs of Canterlot over waiting on the battlefield, unable to move at all.

I was dying. Again. I could feel the light dizziness of blood loss and infection creeping into not only my body but the wing that had once been attached to me. I considered cursing the cause of
the injury this time, but really, the alpha manticore of Froggy Bottom Bog had no way of knowing it had wandered too closely to a pony town. It wasn’t its fault that I’d been sent to handle the situation, and… frankly, I was almost jealous of it. It got to die, and suffer no more.

There was no use putting it off. I grabbed a leather bit that hadn’t completely been snapped through yet and lit my horn. It took a few seconds for the primaries of my torn wing to catch alight, but once they did it burned with an unnatural vigor as an ancient spell took over the simple flames.

If my eyes had been open, I’d have seen stars and violet streaks dancing through the firelight. I’d seen it before, during the fights where I hadn’t been blinded but still unable to escape the scene of my death. It would be almost beautiful if it wasn’t agony.

The room was soundproof, and for good reason. I’d gotten better at not blacking out, but nothing could fully deaden the pain of my own wing being burnt to ash, and no alchemical concoction could sever my connection to any part of my immortal self.

It took a few minutes for the nerves to completely die, and I gingerly unclenched my jaw from the imprint I’d made in the bit. Might get a few more uses out of it before I’d need a fresh one, I mused as I watched my bones char.

A creeping numbness tingled through the joint above my ribcage where the flesh had been ripped out. I took a few deep breaths as the last of the magic fizzled into smoke on the table, and wobbled my way towards it. A weight slowly materialized, dragging limply against the ground as it slowly counterbalanced my other wing.

I used to watch it, but now it was mostly just another thing to wait through. First bone formed, then tendons to hold them in place as wiry muscle wrapped around them. Skin followed, and it was about the point that the feathers started to regrow that sensation returned. I only stumbled into the table slightly; I’d been ready for the stinging this time. It was as though the limb had fallen asleep and sensation had returned, but with the rage of an army. Familiar stabbing pain was still pain all the same.

Then, good as new! One whole alicorn, trauma and pain notwithstanding.

With a weary flick of my magic, I scooped up the remains of what used to be me and tossed them into a ceramic jar in the corner. I’d deal with them later, and the pieces weren’t large enough to be an urgent cleanup. One never knew what certain ponies would do if they tried experimenting with alicorn bones in their illicit studies.

I slumped against the doorframe, stretching out the last tingles on my wing as the memories of my last conversation with my friend returned. I’d probably need to send an apology to Rarity, I mused as I began the trot up the stairs to the castle proper. She didn’t understand, but I couldn’t truly fault her for that.

Alicorns couldn’t die, and everypony knew that. But oh, there were times where I should have, and times when I was even less whole but feeling it all. I wished I could have told her, or asked somepony, but a part of me hesitated every time I thought about penning a letter to Celestia with the question burning in my mind.

Alicorns were immortal, after all. But were they even alive?

Comments

[Mystic Sunrise]

Not really a new subject here, but still good.

[Silent Whisper]

11403220
Thanks. Doesn't have to be a new concept all the time for me to wanna write it, and I couldn't get the mental image of Twilight burning her own limb in order to heal it, while still being able to feel it out of my head. And besides, if everyone else gets to write edgy immortality feelings, I think I should get to write it too. As a treat.

[Comrade Abigor]

I love this. I love this too much to put into words.

[Moproblems Moharmoney]

I wonder how far this works, If Twilight was severed in half or even torn to shreds would she simply reappear ?

[Silent Whisper]

11403361
Quite possibly, yeah! I wrote it with the assumption that if she died, she'd burn up magically and then reappear or regrow from the largest, uh, piece.

[DiscoPanda84]

And of course there's also some of the other potential downsides to immortality...

[Herald of Opera]

11403492
Twilight will not outlive her friends. Pasta:

Rainbow Dash literally outflies Death until she's given the job, Fluttershy becomes the Draconequus of Nature, Applejack starts and continues to remember her serial reincarnation as a reference to G1 and G3 Applejacks, Rarity undergoes brain uploading into a fabulous Raribot, and Pinkie Pie is Pinkie Pie. (That last one has a headcanon explanation, but the point is that most explanations for Pinkie Pie's canon feats already imply immortality)

[new55]

That was a good story.

[Turbotune]

11403364
Sort of like a phoenix?
These creatures sound just like what you described here, except that alicorns have fancier thoughts than animals.

[fanreader999999]

Eh.

[Draco Dei]

Wikipedia-like cross-linking* **:
Personally I prefer the happier interpretation in "Of Alicorn Foals" (and its two sequels). I'd link, but I'm not QUITE sure that it is allowed given that it IS rated M, even if it is for gore.

*So, yes, I DID put a similar link in the other work.
**Someone might point out the "Similar" tab in the bar to the right. That is good, but a human can sometimes do better than an algorithm.

[Prysmkitsune]

actualy being immortal 'does' mean you never die, that is the very definition, the prefic 'im' means 'to lack' so an 'im'mortal is one who lacks mortality, and if you lack mortality you cannot die,

now there are imperfect lesser versions of immortality, functional immortality is when you don't age and are imune to the malidies of the flesh, but your body can still be destroyed thus ending your life, edit (bad example this one was more belonging in the 'effective' immortality slot too as its very specific)
then there is effective immortlaity, this means you are 'technicly' immortal but your immortality is coming from something external to you and can be disrupted, this immortality also tends to be the kind where you have some nasty side effects (lichs are a good example of being effectivly immortal as unless you destroy there philactry they cannot die) and then lastly there is physical immortality, this is for all intents and purposes the same as true immortality but is ussualy the result of you having done something to your body, for example transfering your mind into a mechanical body grants physical immortality but since your original body is dead, its not 'true' immortality as you had to sacrifice your flesh to atain it

[Prysmkitsune]

11403713
i like that one too, there is also a spoopy one where twilight 'acidently' turns herself into a lich by messing with starswirls spell only to find out thats actualy exactly what celestia and luna did...so it turns out that the alicorns are all horible undead abominations.

[Prysmkitsune]

11403713
there is also this one, which is kinda like this story but less gory
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/422113/the-dance-of-the-sun

[Draco Dei]

11403724
I had real the one about Liches (actually two, but one has them biologically alive), and the new one about Celestia dying every few decades I read just now (it was reasonably good).

[Kapuchu]

That is one harsh final line to end on, but it is a very good one.

Well done!

[Bahamuttone]

11403364
Hmm then why not just blow her head out? The regeneration would take place while unconscious…
And the philosophical point on creativity being meaningless if one is immortal is bull.

[Prysmkitsune]

11403755
then there's the twilight gets a puppy series where the alicorns are *spoilers* actualy gods and can only be killed permenently if you destroy what they represent or if they willingly give up there status as deities *end spoiler*

[Hedonism Bot]

11403776

And the philosophical point on creativity being meaningless if one is immortal is bull.

Agreed - anyone who has any real passion for creating anything worth a damn is probably not going to take unlimited time as an excuse to slack off.

In general, I don't buy into the "death gives life meaning" rhetoric. We give our own lives meaning.

[Trick Question]

Based on the desc, I momentarily thought I'd written this.

[Silent Whisper]

Having a bad memory is the best because I honestly forgot I wrote a thing until just now and came back to find it featured. Wild. And someone added it to their clop folder...?

11403974
I'm flattered, thank you!

11403713
11403724
It is... a tiny bit rude to go into a story's comments and talk about all the other fics you liked better than this one. I'm not mad or anything, it's circled back around to "funny" for me. (See the whole "I genuinely forgot I posted this already" bit above, and you guys probably helped bump me into the feature box). Still. Other people may not be super thrilled about it.
... and to address a point,

actualy being immortal 'does' mean you never die, that is the very definition, the prefic 'im' means 'to lack' so an 'im'mortal is one who lacks mortality, and if you lack mortality you cannot die,

I'm aware of the definition of the word, and the literal definition was not what I meant by my fic summary.

11403776
That first bit... is a valid point. Unless the pieces of herself still hurt after being blown up. Idk. It's under 2000 words, there was only so much into it I could go. And agree to disagree on the creativity thing. It's a personal thought. Me, I think I'd start to hate it after a while.

11403762
11403577
Thank you very much, glad you enjoyed it!

11403663
Bingo!

11403676
Eh.

[Moon_Fire]

I feel this deserves a sequel where curiosity gets the better of Twilights friends and they follow her down there one time.

[Shrubb]

11403853
What Twilight is going through sounds something more akin to how, in regards to religion, some people are nice only because they believe there to be retribution waiting for them if they aren't, and not simply for the sake of being nice. Except, instead of religion and retribution, it's the "due date" of death that inflates one's desires to fulfill one's desires through the life they still have left.

"Timeliness" seems like a major motivator and stressor to Twilight so when that is essentially taken away from her in the form of an insurmountable eternity, it's probably leaving her more than a little hollow. Pair that with her typical neurosis and anxiousness and, well, this seems pretty on-point for Twilight, if dark.

Honestly, hit her across the head with the right existential friendship lesson, give her a good cathartic cry, and she'll probably be right as rain. I've read other "Twilight processes her immortality" stories with the premises of her celebrating the fact that she's essentially being given the opportunity to document the stories of all her friends (and future ones) faithfully forever or her blasély killing herself repeatedly in numerous wacky ways with Discord, Spike, and Glim Glam to help in varying levels of exasperation and amusement, just because she wants to test the limits of alicorn immortality. Comedies and dark fics like this all just seem so on brand for the resident alicorn of absurdities and anxiety.

All in all though, still a nice, fun, fitting read!

[Venerable Ro]

Twilight, darling, go talk to Celestia.

Or a therapist.

Or both, both is good actually. On a purely objective level nobody wants a nihilistic immortal wandering around, that's how we get the nastier serial killers.

[Trick Question]

11404108

I'm flattered, thank you!

Aww, now I am as well.

[Fillyfoolish]

Of all the fics I have ever read, this was certainly one of them

[MountainyMaple7]

Immortality always has a price.... and long life is one of them.

[MustacheMerlin]

I mean. There's plenty of creative deadlines more than just actual death. A scientist wants to make the discovery before someone else does it first, you don't go down in history for being the second person to come up with relativity. A fashion designer like Rarity has to make and release the dress before the fashion changes next season and it's out of style. If I were to go make a silent movie today people wouldn't be nearly as enamoured with it as they'd have been if I made the same movie in 1923. I'd be way more successful making a movie about superheroes in 2007 than I'd be making the same movie in 2022 now that everyone got sick of the MCU. Bach was a rockstar complete with screaming adoring fans and fainting women yelling "take me now!" in his time, nowadays he's a fuddy-duddie old fart that writes music for librarians and boring people. The game Adventure was the biggest flashiest, most action packed game of 1985, nowadays if you made it and put it up on itchio for free nobody would even want it. The original Tron went down in history as legendary because of it's cutting edge CGI 40 years ago, the second Tron with objectively way more advanced CG in 2012 was an utter disaster and a total flop.

There's this odd phenomenon that if you take pictures of 16 year olds in the year 1950 and show them to modern kids, asking "how old is this person?" they universally answer wayyyy too high. 30 years old, 40 even! Because even though they're definitely young, they're wearing old people clothes. With old people hairstyles. The old people of today carry themselves the same way they did when they were young, and their mannerisms and style is associated with their age.

Time marches on whether you've got the wrinkles to prove it or not, with or without you. Even if your body remains young, the world will move on and prove your age. It doesn't matter how long you have to wait, time will not wait for you. Things only stay the same for so long, and it's getting shorter every day.

If I had a lifespan of forever, I still wouldn't have nearly enough time.

[platogkrone]

So, does anesthetic not exist in this version of Equestria?
11405550
Tell that to every physician and surgeon in human history and see how they respond.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Fascinating vignette, but I'm honestly more horrified by Twilight's beliefs than the cremation-regeneration. Twilight definitely needs to discuss this with Celestia and Luna. Or possibly even Discord. She has some very nasty ideas in her head that may need other immortals' perspectives to fully extract. (Cadence could help—I'm sure she and Shining have come to terms with his inevitable passing—but centuries of experience in the matter carry a weight that's far harder to refute.)

In any case, thank you for this.

[Venerable Ro]

11406315

Celestia should introduce her to the concept of bonsai glaciers, or some other equally long-term hobby.

[Fluffy_Wing]

11403833
What story is this?

[Prysmkitsune]

11452606
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/384960/twilight-gets-a-puppy

[TheOneAJ]

https://m.