Gallus does the traditional griffon courting ritual! Unfortunately, Sandbar isn't a griffon.
Written for the https://www.fimfiction.net/group/216038/m-m-shipping-contest
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 13th Jan, 2018
- offline last seen 2 hours ago
ShowShine
Trans 🏳️⚧️ He/Him| Just trying my best|Commissions are 10 USD per chapter. Dm me if you have any questions
ShowShine
Joined 13th Jan, 2018 ·
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Oh my gosh this is adorable
I really hope that "incomplete" is accurate.
Awww!
preview.redd.it/prdewcytwv461.png?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=f8f82ddd89c669f3f40e17a7c70ff6bb0eebacc5
...I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.
Awww, these two are adorable! Great story!
I did notice you left it marked "incomplete" though, just wondering if there's more or if that was an accident?
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11430997
I marked it as incomplete by accident. This story is fully complete
11431024
Alright then. Great job with it!! Very adorable
11431024
That's what I was afraid of. That said:
SEQUEL!
Very cute!
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I have an idea for that: years later, every time Gallus starts being weird Sandbar wonders if this is a griffon marriage proposal. We see him rationalizing how the weird things could correlate with mating behaviors (using animal behavior and/or trying to intuit the logic of a behavior).
He's wrong at least twice, and doesn't notice the actual proposal because at least some of the displays are just weird quirks Gallus already has.
This is super cute and funny. The explanation for the nails is especially clever, bravo. n_n
Uhh....
Oh dear Sandbar...you've clearly not seen how elaborately people will ask people out in my neck of the woods before. You know in "The Big Mac Question," that elaborate scheme both Big Mac and Sugar Belle devised so to propose to each other? Yeah, that's a real thing people will do, this example actually being on the less elaborate end of the scale, and they'll do it just to ask each other out on dates. I promise you, I am not exaggerating this.
Anyway, part of me kinda wishes we had just gotten the whole story solely from Sandbar's perspective, and never got that scene with Gallus and Silverstream talking about Gallus's intentions, if just so to leave the reader in the dark about what was going on for that much longer--it would've only added to the humor of the whole situation.
Cute and funny and very sweet! I love that Gallus just assumes Sandbar knows what's going on.
Gallus’s fluttered
at the very end. missing the word heart
the "stare of love" is so cute
Awww!!
Should this have been "peeked"?
Cute.
Cute story overall. If I might suggest, you could use one more proofreading through of your story. There are a few words missing, some tenses are wrong (present instead of past) and some words are in the wrong order. Very minor and didn't really take away from the story, just made it a bit confusing in a few places. Harder to spot when you've been working on a fic, but easy after a little pause.
This is so cute. I loved this so much <3
I love the part where he wonders if the nails are meant to represent wishing tetanus on him.
Okay, so when Gallus uses the Star of Love it's cute, but when I use it it's creepy and have to leave the library. Society ain't fair.
That was pretty cute, definitely worth an upvote. Also, Mr/Ms. Downvoter, please don't forget to downvote my comment too this time, you missed me last time and I kinda felt left out.
HNNNGGHHH so cute! I see that this is just a one-shot, and that's fine. But...you know...would be nice to see how their date might go, hehe.
In an otherwise cute story, I feel the need to point this out. "Piss" and it's derivatives aren't appropriate for an E-Rated fic. This being the only instance of anything non-E-Rating appropriate, I suggest replacing this instance of out-of-place swearing with "ticked" or, given how the show itself treated the word, "peeved" would work as a P-word that gets the same meaning across.
That outta the way, I like how you managed to include the full Young Six in minor roles in addition to the romantic duo of Gallus and Sandbar, and the scenes with Silverstream in particular are sweet and funny-- I love how Silverstream supports Gallus and is just as oblivious as him to the fact that ponies and other creatures don't share the birb traditions. Daffy cuties is what they all are.
Honestly, just a cute fic in general, only real complaint is that it's a bit short.
Not a bad story.
Could you bring back the zephyr breeze x chrysalis story??
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I’m not gonna uncancel it but I could totally do a rewrite if you want. I have more ideas for it
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Yes please!!! Id love that!! 😁
And I think your other readers would too!!
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I look forward to the new version!!
Lovely~!
It's quite cute and very in-character. :3
11496415
Do I need to comission it??
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No, but my commissions are open if you want anything
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Alright. Thank you for the response.
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I look forward to its eventual revival.
Have a good day!!
😁
just love this mental image, i can see it so clearly. honestly chuckling just thinking about it
aww, poor Sandbar!
and ahaha, love that Silverstream of all creatures would be the one to understand instantly (though it does make sense because of the bird thing yeah!)
and augh, love Silverstream’s reaction. i am squeeing besides her
aww, so Yona!
Gallus is just the embodiment of refuses to elaborate further, leaves, love it
preening, of course! love how awfully confusing this must be for Sandbar
oof, very understandable for this particular ritual to have a bit of a different effect on a prey species!
aww, he grew that himself? beautiful!
those ponies sure do love crystal don’t they
this does feel very griffon and honestly i love it
and augh, i love this!
just a fantastic bit of cultural worldbuilding, and an all-around delightful comedy of misunderstanding that ends adorably. lovely work!
Sandbar: what's the matter, gallus?
Gallus:
meme-arsenal.com/memes/7d90b52132f0deae31e9c6bf43f6757c.jpg
I love you