Trusting Each Other
Twilight awoke to Pinkie jumping up and down atop her. "Aah! What the hay!"
Spike and Rarity groaned, but kept in their little embrace as they opened their eyes.
"Twilight, wake up, the river and wind went crazy!" Pinkie said as she bounced over to the now-raging river, a howling wind blowing her mane to the side.
"Well great..." Twilight replied with a yawn.
Dash stretched and got up. "I'm sure I can just fly you all over," she said confidently before flying a bit above the river, but found herself moving erratically in the wind, and fell into the water, struggling to swim against the current or even keep her beak above the water. "Help!"
Fluttershy screamed and sprung into action, flying over and and barely managing to grab Dash's claw, pulling her to the shore.
Dash rapidly clawed her way back ashore and coughed up water. "Okay, just give me a moment before I try again..."
Rarity slipped out of the sleeping bag and set Spike atop her back, then got to work packing the sleeping bags back into her saddlebags. "Darling...I love that you're willing to carry us, but after seeing that, I think the chance of even you getting across, let alone ferrying all of us, is far too low for my tastes."
Twilight stood up and put a hoof to her chin. "Perhaps I could teleport us?"
Spike shook his head. "To a shore you can barely see? Come on Twilight, I know you're capable of a lot, but you know what could happen if you miss..."
"Ooh, ooh!" Pinkie piped up as she leaned over the edge of the water. "What if we ask the big purple sea monster who looks upset?"
Twilight squinted, then lit her horn as she saw a huge serpent rise from the waters just upstream. "Pinkie, get back! I can take him!"
The purple serpent with orange hair and a long mustache that stopped short on one side suddenly started crying. "What a world, what a world!" he shouted between sobs.
"Um..." Fluttershy started as she trotted closer to the shore and upstream. "Is there something we can help with, mister...?"
"Steven. Steven Magnet. And I doubt that, I was just swimming here, minding my own business, when suddenly, this tacky little indigo cloud of smoke whisked past me, and tore half of my beloved mustache clean off! And now...I look simply horrid!" he replied with a dramatic fall into the water, splashing everyone, before resting his head against the shore.
"Oh come on, really? A mustache? Of course we get a cool-looking giant serpent, and instead of being a cool monster trying to eat us, it's just another Rarity," Dash remarked with a frustrated tone.
"Hmph, rude, even for you. Multiple of me could accomplish much better things than simply playing cat and mouse with ponies," remarked Rarity as she came up to Steven and inspected his lips. "...but he is indeed 'cool', with such lovely luminescent scales, an expertly-coiffed mane, and a fabulous manicure!"
"Oh it's so true!" sniffed Steven.
"But it's all ruined by missing half of a beautiful mustache...Mister Magnet, I believe I have a solution to this crime against fabulosity! Unfortunately I don't have any comically large scissors so...would you mind coming close for a moment, darling?"
"Oh, I'm hideous!" Steven shouted as he threw up his arms. "Do what you must! Anything to end this nightmare!"
Rarity nodded with a look of determination, then bit into one of his scales, and pulled it out harshly, then rapidly swung it, cutting off a bit of her own tail.
"Oh dear! The violence," Steven cried. "Why would you do something so awful to your lovely luscious tail? Is this...solidarity with my hideous state?"
"Oh heavens no, darling. Short tails are...in this season, and I just realized my tail is the perfect length...now hold still," Rarity said as she levitated her tail into place and then tied it in with what was left of the right side of Steven's mustache.
"Ooh, my mustache! How wonderful! How can I possibly repay you for this selfless act of sacrifice?" he asked.
"Ferrying us across the river so we don't drown would be quite fine, darling," Rarity replied as she put on her saddlebags.
"Oh, it would be my pleasure, but I'm afraid my scales are much too slippery for that," he said.
Pinkie bounced up to his ear and whispered.
"Well, if you're sure..." Steven said, before suddenly grabbing the group in his hands, raising them up, and dropping them into his mouth.
All but Pinkie, who giggled, screamed as they fell.
Pinkie went in first, and pulled an umbrella from her tail that she opened in his throat, blocking it. Rarity and Spike landed next to her, with Twilight, with Fluttershy and Dash behind.
Fluttershy slammed down onto Twilight's stomach, making her spit and pucker her lips...right as Dash's rear came down with the spot just under the tail meeting them. Twilight's eyes went wide, one twitching a bit, and she groaned.
"Whoa, hey back there! Heh, I was just thinking a cheek kiss when you went off at me that first time, but lip to lip? Makes up for threatening me earlier," Dash said with a chuckle.
Twilight pushed the griffon's rear off with a forehoof and wiped her mouth for a moment on the fur of the other one. "Eugh, look, we need to get out of here, for all we know, Steven Magnet made a deal to stop us, and that umbrella won't last forever...I just need to cast a teleportation spell..." She took a moment to concentrate, but her horn, having just the slightest spot of sea serpent spit on it, fizzled out. "Oh no..."
"Twilight!" Spike shouted. "You're scaring us, more than this little surprise. Just trust Pinkie and Rarity on this, please."
Twilight sighed, and suddenly, everything shifted, with the whole group launched up and out by a hacking Steven Magnet.
"There you are. Sorry to give such a fright, the pink one said you liked surprises!" Steven Magnet said as he began swimming away.
Twilight blew a bit of her mane out of her face before getting up.
"Au revoir!" Rarity called back to Steven. "Spike, how's the tail looking back there? That little trip didn't make it worse, did it?"
"Uh...I did what I could, but it's a little ragged," he replied. "And if you wouldn't mind, could I take a nap? I didn't exactly get all my baby dragon sleep back there, with all there is to worry about..."
"Of course, darling, we're all a little scared. Well, except Pinkie, but eternal night promises lots of parties. I'll keep you well and safe," Rarity said as she patted him.
Within moments, Spike was snoring softly.
"Speaking of needs..." Twilight started. "I'll catch up later, I need to see a tree about a pony."
"We'll slow down a bit darling, but don't take too long, these woods are clearly treacherous," replied Rarity.
Twilight nodded and trotted into the foliage.
A while later, Twilight sighed and stepped forward, only to find her hooves stuck in a pool of muck and sinking fast. "Ugh, and now quicksand? Well, a little spell can take care of th-"
Suddenly, vines latched onto her horn, blocking it from charging. She tried to flap her wings next, but they too were restrained.
"Oh no! Help! Somepony!" Twilight cried, looking around in fear.
"Twilight!" Spike replied as he ran up to her, then blew a puff of dragonfire that burned away the vines from her horn.
Twilight took a deep breath and casted a spell that blew away the vines and quicksand, letting her gently fly to Spike and give him a hug. "Oh Spike, I shouldn't've gone alone..."
"Ya got that right. Rarity insisted I give you your privacy or I wouldn't be getting any more cuddles, but...well, I remember the last time I left you alone in a bathroom for one minute and we had to buy the restaurant new walls," Spike replied with a deadpan expression.
"Hey, it was two minutes, and that griffon had...right, right," Twilight admitted sheepishly before hurrying to catch up with the group, Spike in tow.
When she'd caught up, she saw them looking at a chasm with a bridge that was out, and on the other side seemed to be the castle. "So, we fly across and bring up the other side of the bridge, right?"
Dash spread her wings. "Probably faster than ferrying all of you over...and Fluttershy can coordinate pretty well with me, so...you up for it, Fluttershy?"
"Mm-hmm", Fluttershy replied as she gently took off.
"This'll only take a minute," said Dash as she followed suit, disappearing into the fog with Fluttershy.
Rarity turned to Twilight. "So, I trust Spike found you alive and well?" she asked with a grin.
Twilight cleared her throat. "He saved me from drowning, actually. Now look, I like that you two get along, but he's my little brother, so don't try to control his behavior toward others or I might just have to acquaint your fanciest brush with a part of your body it should never meet."
Pinkie popped in between the two. "She means your b-"
Rarity jammed a hoof in Pinkie's mouth. "I am well aware what she means, thank you. I'm...sorry Twilight, truly, I was out of line and you nearly paid the price for it. When we're back from all this, I promise I'll buy you both a day at the spa, to make it up to you."
Twilight smiled and levitated Spike onto Rarity's back. "That sounds wonderful. Hmm, shouldn't those two be done by now?"
Spike put his claws up to his mouth. "Oh no, what if there are enormous eels that pop out of the chasm and...got them?"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Enormous eels, on land? Spike, that's silly; they're probably just having trouble seeing the rope," Twilight remarked.
Pinkie took Rarity's hoof from her mouth. "Oooor, Black Snooty's super special team of unicorns is offering Fluttershy her dream position of being a star in her mane if they betray us and join the Lemon Hearts flavor conspiracy!"
"Darling, I don't know if it's a mushroom you ate, some kind of poison from those pukwudgies that attacked while we waited for Twilight, or whatever was on my hoof, but you clearly had too much of it," Rarity remarked.
"I'll go check on them..." Twilight said, flying over the chasm.
On the other side, she landed behind a rock, and with the combination of fog and darkness making it hard to see, promptly used a spell to outline nearby living creatures. She could see Rainbow Dash...with Fluttershy's rear end sticking out and flailing, much like Rarity with the manticore earlier.
Twilight panicked and hid fully behind the rock, breathing rapidly for a few moments, then cautiously peered out.
"Oh, uh, hey Twilight!" replied Dash. "Fluttershy's uh..."
"O-off trying to find some rope, I'm sure..." Twilight said with barely even a hint of nervousness.
Dash sighed. "No, I can't do this...I...she's in my stomach."
A muffled sound came from Dash's belly. "Wait, I consented and fed myself t-!"
Dash slapped her side. "Fluttershy! Don't lie to protect me! Good gravy. Look, Nightmare Moon's minions made me an offer and..."
"Dash, use the thing she gave you, hurry!" Fluttershy added.
Twilight's eyes went wide.
"They said if I proved myself with Fluttershy, then used some knockout powder on you, that they'd make me top Shadowbolt. And well...I just can't lie like that." Dash said with a scratch of the back of her neck, and a head hung low, as she dropped a little bag to her side.
Twilight put a hoof on Dash's shoulder. "It's okay. I can't blame you for being scared. Now can we get the bridge put up before worrying about Fluttershy? I don't entirely trust those three together to stay safe."
Dash laughed and flew to bring up one corner, while Twilight followed and brought up another.
As the other three came into view, Twilight casted a spell, and Dash began upchucking.
Spike cringed from atop Rarity's back as Fluttershy came out looking much like Rarity did earlier.
"Good heavens, her mane!" shouted Rarity.
Twilight used a spell to dry Fluttershy. "Nightmare Moon was behind this. I'm suspecting now that every single problem we ran into was her doing," replied Twilight.
"Oh, she's named Nightmare Moon? Well no wonder none of her pranks were any fun!" remarked Pinkie.
Fluttershy flipped her mane back to normal effortlessly. "Um, if she's been watching us all this time uh...shouldn't be prepared before we go in the castle? Or uh...perhaps consider surrendering?"
"Fluttershy, please darling, we're all a little scared of facing her, but if the worst she can throw at us was back there, I'm sure we'll be fine even if we were to...lose. Anyways, there is definitely one thing I need, and that's to use the little filly's room...excuse me," Rarity stated as she trotted away with Spike still on her back. "Uh, little dragon's room too..." he added.
"Me three!" Pinkie happily shouted as she awkwardly trotted behind the two.
Dash looked to Fluttershy and cleared her throat, and soon Fluttershy quietly followed behind Pinkie.
"Wow, all four of them at once?" asked Twilight.
Dash rolled her eyes. "You eggheads are always bad at reading the room. Fluttershy hasn't had to go since I pounced her."
"Oh...ew...um, but...then why did she...?" asked Twilight with a look of confusion.
"Look, I just wanna be sure we're on the same page here...I'm really sorry I nearly sold out, okay?" Dash said with a sad look.
"Oh. Well, I'm new to this whole 'friendship' thing, but what comforts me is that you couldn't go through with it. I mean, it shows that you aren't just putting on a display for us like some ponies might be, that you really do have that heart of gold Rarity thinks you do, even if it is a little buried in there," Twilight said with a grin.
"Heh, I guess I do... And uh, about Minuette..." Dash replied, not meeting Twilight's eyes.
Twilight took a deep breath. "We can talk to Gilda about finally apologizing for what she did once this is all over. You know, thinking on it, it isn't easy being a griffon with those instincts, is it?"
Dash breathed a sigh of relief and shook her head. "Nope. I've gotta come clean with you, I ran into the previous librarian and well...it was just like what you thought could happen if my mouth was open and...then she kept making jokes about it and I didn't feel like interrupting her to spit her out right away, and with a full belly...I kinda fell asleep, but I really didn't mean to! I just wasn't thinking an-"
Twilight put a hoof to Dash's beak. "Dash, I already decided to trust you. I know you meant well." Twilight then cleared her throat and looked over Dash's shoulder. "Alright, I can see all four of you are done with things and just waiting in the bushes!" she shouted.
Rarity trotted out first, with her usual disarming polite chuckle, and Spike again on her back. Pinkie pronked out behind her, and Fluttershy slowly trotted out last.
"Everyone ready?" Twilight asked.
With nods all around, except for a thumbs-up from Spike, she charged ahead to the castle.
Inside the castle, the group entered a large room to see five orbs held up by spokes on a pedestal.
Dash flew up and grabbed an orb, bringing it down. "So, any idea how we get them to show the sixth?"
"I don't know how we prove we're worthy, it might be a test of ability," Twilight replied as she carefully levitated an orb down.
Fluttershy grabbed a second orb as Dash did the same.
"Maybe you could use your magic!" shouted Spike as Twilight brought down the last orb.
"It's worth a shot...but stand back, everyone!" Twilight said as she charged her horn and the others got behind her.
Suddenly, the wispy indigo smoke of Nightmare Moon's mane swirled in a tornado, moving the element orbs away from Twilight, before she appeared and stomped down, reducing them to fragments. "You little foals, thinking you could defeat me! Now you will never see your princess, or the sun. The night...will last...forever!" She finished with a maniacal laugh and teleported away.
"Oh no, what do we do now!" cried Spike.
Twilight pondered a moment, looking to the five orbs and her five friends, then a nearby part of the castle being lit up. "Hmph, she only thinks she's won. Let's give her a nasty little surprise...everyone grab some of those fragments and follow me!"
The others looked to each other, confused, but did as she said, and galloped with her into another part of the castle, up a spiral staircase, and into what looked to be a throne room, with a smirking Nightmare Moon seated at the far end. "Here to grovel for positions in my court? The offer's still on the table, Dash, with the change that the ones you have to...dispose of, are that mayor and a few ponies in Canterlot."
"You thought you could destroy the elements of harmony just like that?" asked Twilight. "The spirit of the elements is right here!"
Nightmare Moon blinked as the orb fragments started to levitate around the ponies. "What? No, no, that's impossible!" she growled, then glared as she fired off a bolt of magic right at Twilight.
Twilight gasped as the bolt raced for her, only to be blocked by Spike diving in the way, a loud bang heard as it struck, looking to be right in his belly. "SPIKE!"
Spike rolled over, groaning. "Ow...my back. This floor's really bad for landings." The fragments he had carried swirled around him, seeming to form a shield.
"Wait, WHAT? That should've torn you to pieces!" screamed Nightmare Moon. "He's..."
"The embodiment of the element of loyalty!" Twilight barked back at Nightmare Moon with a glare and a grin. "He'd never leave my side, even if it meant taking a hit to his! And he's not the only one here who embodies an element... Fluttershy calmed an upset manticore with her kindness, Pinkie boosted our morale with her laughter, Rarity got the aid of a kindred spirit with her generosity, and Dash couldn't let us down with her honesty!"
"But...you still don't have the sixth element!" cried Nightmare Moon.
Twilight grinned. "Oh, but we do! The sixth element is...the magic of friendship!" The six of them levitated up as an orb formed above Twilight. "And it unites them all!"
A rainbow formed from the six, and swirled around Nightmare Moon.
"Noooo!" she cried as she glowed and seemed to shrink in place.
The six meanwhile landed on the floor with several thuds.
"Ugh, my head," said Dash.
"Ooh, my tail...no longer has split ends. Well, can't win 'em all," stated Rarity.
"At least you've got a lovely necklace that matches your mane, and has your cutie mark," said Fluttershy.
Rarity inspected it. "Hmph, well, these elements have a good fashion sense."
Dash checked hers and smirked. "Awesome."
Suddenly, the sun came up, shining through the windows. "Thank you, my little ponies!" said Celestia's voice as an orb of light came out of it, revealing the princess.
"Celestia!" Twilight shouted as she ran up to her, while the others bowed.
Celestia patted Twilight's shoulder. "You did quite well, Twilight. You and your friends should be proud of yourselves!"
"Thank you, princess," Twilight replied, while Dash did her dance with Spike.
"Now, about my dear sister..." Celestia said as she trotted to where Nightmare Moon was.
Among smoldering bits of Nightmare Moon's regalia was an indigo alicorn who whimpered in fear.
"I suppose you're feeling a little less maniacal without your head saturated in dark magic, Luna?" Celestia asked.
Luna sniffled and nodded. "I'm so sorry...I was...awful. I just wanted recognition, but...not at that cost...all of Equestria would've suffered."
"It's okay. I'm just glad that you're finally back. 1000 years may have been necessary to drain most of your dark magic, but it was a long time to be without my sister," Celestia said as she laid next to Luna, and put her muzzle against her sister's neck.
Luna cried a bit and nuzzled Celestia back, standing up as Celestia did the same, and the two hugged.
Back in Ponyville, Twilight watched happily as Celestia and Luna trotted through the streets to cheers from happy townsponies.
"Well Luna, I think they quite like you now that you're a little more...approachable," said Celestia.
Luna nodded.
Pinkie popped up in front of the two. "And you know what you're getting now that you're new in town?"
"Uh..." Luna started...looking nervous.
"A PARTY!" Pinkie replied as Lyra jumped up and down nearby.
"Um, princess, one last thing before Pinkie has us stuffed full of cupcakes and cider," said Twilight.
"Yes?" replied Celestia.
"About my status..." Twilight started, rubbing the back of her neck with a hoof.
"Just being an element bearer won't make you a princess again, but it's quite a good bit of progress. Plus I think a pony who can bear the element of friendship, with a dragon and a griffon friend, would be quite perfect for mending relations with those two races to prove she can be a ruler," Celestia finished with a smile before resuming trotting through the streets.
Dash landed next to Twilight. "Well well well, sounds like you need me..."
Spike came up to her other side. "And me, I guess."
"I wouldn't have it any other way," Twilight said confidently as she put a hoof around each, with only Spike returning to make it a full hug as Dash just grinned.
"Hey y'all," Applejack shouted as she approached the three, looking to be covered in a bit of dirt. "What'd I miss while I was uh, incapacitated?"
"Uh, a lot, but why were you...?" Twilight asked, looking to Dash. "Did you..."
Dash nervously chuckled. "See uh, Moondancer wanted me to test something, you know, so there aren't any accidents... AJ's a good friend and volunteered as the guinea pig."
"I see...well, I think I can make one more friend today. Whaddya say, AJ?" Twilight asked with a smile.
"I reckon that'd be swell as a pig in mud! Oh but, speakin' of, I should clean up first. You go on ahead, and I'll be there to give a hoedown at the party!"
"I'll meet ya there!" replied Twilight.
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Proper cover art is pending (may take a while...vectoring a griffon is hard and it's the holidays). For now, movie Twilight certainly conveys a similar attitude to how ex-princess Twilight acts.
11429723
Come to think of it, a prequel would be quite interesting. It would take at least a few weeks to get together, but definitely something I'll try to get done before February.
interesting
11429728
Tho
Why did you choose to turn Rainbow into a griffon and not an OC griffin?
11429815
I could perhaps try to work in hints that ponies outside the mane 6 aren't entirely fine with Gilda and Dash partying amongst them, but it'd be a bit tricky. Twilight's friends all are in positions where they would trust in Moondancer and Dash preventing future incidents.
11429837
As far as the contest goes, the species swaps have to matter for creating a choice, so Rainbow couldn't be replaced by a random griffon.
*glances at the video game 'threads of fate' then back to this...then back to that then this again*
why does this remind me of a video game that has nothing in common with it...
11429858
I haven't said about replacing her
Sadness that Applejack is no longer the Element of Honesty,
11429900
Never heard of the game, but from a brief read, maybe it's to do with the style of how the drama unfolds in dialog?
11429903
Really, Spike is about the only one in the friend group less honest than her, so consider this a correction. She'd be the element of loyalty in the story actually if Spike wasn't around, but I thought it'd be kind of funny to have Dash temporarily get rid of AJ and Twilight doesn't even notice until the end; it certainly makes for some good moments with Twilight and Spike.
And don't worry, she'd still go on pretty much every adventure with them because she's a close friend and has strong hooves.
THE WHAT? And Fluttershy doesn't want to be a star or something, she wants to be a veterinan
YOU WHAT!? Why do you keep eating ponies!?
a BABY dragon is going to fight bad guys.
11430126
Well, storming an embassy uninvited and breaking the furniture while making threats is a bit of a big problem. I should probably make it clearer that things weren't just over some broken desk.
11430168
Pinkie's not meant to be taken seriously here. It's a comedic reverse of how in some cases (notably the first Equestria Girls) she's used to deliver exposition she shouldn't know.
11430179
You mean in regards to him being an element? AJ (and probably Gilda realistically after a certain point) will be on the adventures to beat things up, while Spike is more for support with firebreath and a direct line to the princesses (The Cutie Map would be a lot easier with a way to call in the royal guards after finding out Glimmer's evil...)
So this is a story that has potential, but I think is held back by being somewhat all over the place tonally. It feels like it's a chaotic blend of comedy, seriousness, parody, and soft vore fic all rolled into one, and I found while reading that having all of those elements in one pot doesn't blend together as well as was clearly hoped, as some of those elements just openly contradict with each other. For example, when the story tries to do serious moments, it's hard to take it seriously enough to appreciate it, because the rest of the story is so wild and comedic, it gives you no motivation to want to take anything seriously enough.
If it had instead just focused on being one or two of those elements, like if it had just been the seriousness and the soft vore fic,* or if it had just been the comedy and the parody,** then I genuinely think you really would've had a winner there.
But all of these elements at once? I mean, it still entertained as evidenced by the fact I still read to the end, but, again, I think the story is held back by the fact all of those traits presented together ended up conflicting with each other more often than they complemented each other. Still, good effort I suppose.
*(Honestly, while vore isn't really my thing, I actually kinda would've been more interested in a much more serious take on that whole Twilight/Dash and their whole coming to terms that griffons eat ponies but not all ponies are chill with that dynamic, and more seriously explored the implications and trials such a premise would show. Just throwing that out there.)
**(Conversely, if leaning in on just the comedy and parody aspects, the story being about, say, how Twilight's all paranoid about any griffon just waiting to gobble them up at the slightest chance to such a comically unreasonable amount while Rainbow's playing the straight-mare and trying to prove to her, perhaps fruitlessly, that's not actually the case at all could've been plenty of fun too.)
11430348
I'm aware it didn't really blend perfectly. This started out conceptually as a dark but silly comedy where Twilight was unintentionally gaslit about Dash until the very end, but it ran into some problems, most notably lacking a consequential choice on Twilight's part (necessary for the contest). An entirely different tonal direction after coming up with plot elements tends to cause some problems, and on top of that, there's the inherent tonal clash between the show's very nonserious first episode (and its characters) and Twilight having to work past acting out over a past trauma. I will see if there's anything I can do with minor dialog improvements to at least make the characters act a little less like everything's fine.
Yeah. The story idea has potential, that's for certain and, yeah, I could see where this Twilight would have issues with griffons, given certain events in Canterlot (the fact that Rainbow and Gilda ate three of her friends would certainly be more than enough to understandably tick her off, even if she used the brutality on the wrong griffons AND got in trouble for it). But, on the more positive side, at least Rainbow/Gloomy fessed up AND Twilight gained a better understanding. The element assignments makes sense too.
11430302
Yeah, I could also still see AJ and Gilda being in on the bad guy beatdowns too. And, in addition to what you pointed out, Starlight's "Sameness Spell" would have pretty much no effect on a dragon and griffons (no Cutie Marks to mess with), so a third of the group (Spike, Gloomy/Rainbow and Gilda [the last of whom, along with AJ, is strictly additional muscle for more dangerous missions in this universe]) would be immune to that trick, making things more difficult for Starlight.
Okay, overall not bad. I enjoyed reading this different take on the series premiere. :)
11429910
Oh that's a relief. Applejack isn't my Best Pony, but she certainly is in my Top 3.
This probably needs a fetish tag.
11434938
Warning tags can't be put on E-rated fics; to my understanding, this is because they're for "this particular thing that causes a T or M rating is common in, or a theme of, the story", and thus don't apply to E-rated themes/common things.
Makes me wonder what Twilight did to become an alicorn here, or if she was born one. And Celestia is being a hypocrite here. Ponies were murdered, and she punished Twilight for having a perfectly acceptable reaction to it.
Oh yes. Real smart sunass.
11437812
She was born one. As for Celestia and Twilight, do realize the magnitude of what she did, and the position it put Equestria in politically; under slightly different conditions, a war would've started. Of course, the prequel fic I've got brewing would perhaps make it more clear.
"No Second Prances" is a letdown. I'll give the story a read, but if you go the same way, and try to redeem a character that claimed to think of friends SECOND, and BEATING someone - FISRT... Well, this is not a story for me.
11439702
Rest assured, I am no fan of how the show excused Trixie's awful behavior (I could go on a huge rant about more than just that episode...); that comparison is only to prepare readers to see a confluence of intense emotions and, more importantly, that beasts who could swallow the ponies actually will for once (some people get touchy about this).
I reworded the warning a bit, is that clearer?
11440091
As long as you don't redeem characters that blew their second chances(ALicorn Amulet was Trixie's SECOND coming, where I hoped she would learn some humility) - I will have no problem. It also impresses me, how people can defend Starlight and Trixie, and blame Twilight, despite her actually being correct. Do you want a link to a story, where an author just balmes Twilight? I can link it.
11440098
There's some interesting technicalities about that, but I think you'll be pleasantly surprised on how the characters are handled here. And no, no fics necessary, I'm fully aware of the problems with how later FiM tended to handle characters reforming.
11453092
Dash hasn't intentionally killed anypony. She was prevented from spitting out Minuette by Gilda. Gilda however not only made Dash kill Minuette, but was the one who ate Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine.
In the real world, Gilda'd be serving years in prison even with a plea agreement, with Dash not far behind, but this is pony society, where even literal war criminals can get slaps on the wrist, so her punishment was pretty minor* once it was clear she was willing to reform.
*: By our standards, not pony standards (imprisonment in their society is pretty rare). I'm not 100% sure on what punishment to write into the prequel, but my current idea would be something like a year of strictly-monitored probation and being on-call for community service (so anything Mayor Mare wants done in that year, Gilda has to do it, up to 7 hours of work each day, up to 5 days a week, minimum livable wage), as well as having to pay damages to the families and show an effort to make friends with selected ponies around town. As an added complexity, they probably would've banished her from Equestria for safety reasons, but the Griffon Empire didn't want her or Dash back and was incensed over Twilight's overreaction, and a plea agreement had to be done because Gilda insisted Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine agreed to things, and no witnesses actually contradicted that.
11440098
I would like a link to that story please
11454267
This is why our way of punishment is better than there’s.
And basically Celestia doesn’t care if three of her citizens died and basically just said don’t do it again.
You see this is why many people like Luna since at least she’s willing to lay down the law and deliver proper punishment for killing and eating her citizens.
And do I even what to know what there military is like?
11462004
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/327456/her-life-was-in-your-hooves
My comments were deleted there. Just a heads up.
11462007
The proper measure of how a system of punishment works is how well it reduces crimes... The body of evidence on this in real life suggests deterring crime relies mainly on high chances of being caught (transparency and monitoring systems), not punishment intensity (beyond what it takes to make a cost-benefit analysis fail; if the fine's too low, smarter individuals will just accept it like a business cost). As for how to deal with people after they do commit crime to stop them just doing it again, obviously there's capital punishment, but that loses you a potential worker and hurts their family, so aside of that, long prison sentences obviously help in the short-term, but leave people destitute (and more educated on how to commit crime by other prisoners) and thus likely to reoffend long-term; shorter prison sentences with an "out" of mental health care and job training, so criminals can change out of the career of crime, tend to work a lot better (see Scandinavian countries).
With all that in mind, Equestria's judicial system's main problem in the show is that seems hesitant to do anything, be it punish or provide support, when someone acts maliciously, which is a predictable problem as a kids' show (the legal proceedings following Lightning Dust nearly blowing up Scootaloo, or Dash under house arrest for a season after blowing up the Weather Factory, certainly wouldn't be entertaining). As for the prequel fic I'm writing, Celestia certainly won't be portrayed as that level of carefree about such serious acts; if there weren't so many complications and it was that Gilda and Dash just ate the three over a dispute in the middle of a crowd, then they'd have a choice between having their monitored house arrest with restitution payments be permanent with banishment to griffon territory, or until they complete a program that absolutely assures they've changed in Ponyville.
11462043
Well I can see where that fic went wrong: It's not really meant to excuse Trixie's actions, but instead point out that Twilight, third in line for the throne, saw a pony about to kill themselves and went "oh whatever, not my problem" since it wasn't one of her friends...and then in absolutely wringing out every last drop of melodrama by overdoing Celestia's scolding (a more show-like version of Celestia would've just connected the dots for Twilight so Twilight could recognize her own error), it made it out that Twilight was wrong to confront Trixie and Starlight at all.
11462143
I can see what you're going for, but if I'm correct, Twilight didn't doom Trixie. Twi was watching Trixie prepare for it, as Starlight came in. She didn't HAVE to intervene, because Starlight was on the case. Which still leaves me with a dissapointment over the episode, as Trixie was in the wrong. She manipulated Starlight to choose her over Twilight, she directly said it, and as Twilight was ready to APOLOGIZE - she just blew up. At Twilight. For the situation that was all the fault of TRIXIE herself.
It just pisses me off on how often people blame Twilight, when she does an actual MEASURED response. Equestria being enslaved, and ALL her efforts are being undone by her friends, who don't do anything but sing and dance? Trying to steal an artifact as a last hope is kinda OK. Stealing is not OK, but when they get denied help, what else is left? Give up and go home a traitor? Nah, man, give me negative karma, I will sufer for my country!
11462477
The issue with Twilight was that as her and Starlight were walking away, she left it entirely up to Starlight to possibly return for Trixie. In that moment, the much better thing to do is to stick around to see how things go, so that if Starlight refuses to go back, Twilight could at least teleport Trixie out and break it to her that Starlight refused to come back; Trixie may not want to be saved, but Twilight wouldn't know that without getting closer, and Equestria may frown upon making your suicide a public spectacle. Twilight instead prioritized...returning to dinner with the princess, over potentially saving Trixie's life.
11462563
I see. I'm still with Twilight. After all, it wasn't Twilight's fault Trixie decide to AGAIN try to defeat Twilight in some fashion. It's not Twilight's fault Trixie spelled out the truth to Starlight. It wasn't on Twilight - how Trixie responded to her "defeat". This whole episode is such a mess. Someone sees you as a tool first, as a friend - later? Why do you want to be with them?! I would expect it from Fluttershy, it's her whole theme. Starlight? Not the pony to do so. It's not Twilight's task to save every single pony, who tried to defeat her and lost.
11462043
Thanks
11462570
It's not Twilight's job to save everypony from everything, but I think at least watching a bit to possibly save an acquaintance from certain death in public should be an expectation of Twilight's job as princess. I think Celestia would frown on "so I let a pony jump into a hungry monster's mouth in front of some of my friends, but that pony was up to no good again, so whatever, we're better off without them if nopony could do anything in time when they begged for help". Kind of the same issue as if Celestia just didn't care that Lemon Hearts may not have consented to Gilda digesting her.
11463068
I understand that, but after being given three chances, and always picking a fight with Twilight in one way or another you just stop caring about what they do. It's easy to sit here and type, but as I'm good with philosophy, I think I would be able to argue with Celestia about it.
"First Trixie comes in, and brags as a showmare. But then, when she challenges my friends she doesn't win, she mocks them. She tied up Applejack, instead of matching her gimnastics. She doesn't try to make something fashionable, she mocks Rarity by making colors ugly. She didn't try for a ligh show routine against Rainbow, she slaps her with the leftover rainbow trail. Then she comes and enslaves the town I now live in, and banishes me. She actually apologized for that one. But as it is a little bit raw, I didn't really trust her, after being separated from my friends, so I was a little cold with her, when she returned third time. Turns out, I was right. She manipulated Starlight into choosing between me and the pre-arranged dinner I made for you, and her show. So you have to excuse me, Princess, if I couldn't care less what Trixie planned, what she said, and how she decided to deal with the result."
If Rainbow Dash is a griffon in this story, then does that mean Gilda is a Pegasus?
11464232
No, she's still a griffon.
11437955
Celestia didn't care a damn about doing the right thing. Ponies were murdered full stop, and Celestia bent the knee to overstuffed pigeons who she easily can squish if they push the issue with Equestria. Even more so when Gilda made sure the girls didn't survive.
Now if Twilight had physically attacked the ambassador, it's a different story. But this whole thing falls apart when you make Celestia weak like this. Twilight getting some kind of punishment is understandable, seeing what she could've done.
11462563
They were not walking away, they were watching the performance from the hill. Twilight could have saved her if Starlight didn't.
11510692
I suppose it's possible Twilight was considering it, but they were at a pretty weird distance away. It might've just been storyboarded poorly I suppose.