• Published 23rd Sep 2012
  • 2,179 Views, 14 Comments

A Second Pair of Wings - DashCamp(IDBrony)



Rainbow Dash had only two option, friend or duty

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A Second Pair of Wings

A Second Pair of Wings

Julian – CsCamper – DashCamp(IDBrony)


“I WANT TO FLY!!!!!”, a familiar shouting sound echoed through Ponyville’s school. “Come on, Scoot. It’s just not yer time yet.” a small filly chased the orange filly pegasus, and small unicorn filly watching both of them, chasing around in circle. “Guys... I think you two should stop doing that.”, the unicorn filly asked softly to her two friends, “FOR WHAT??? CAN IT MAKE ME FL- *oof*”, the farm filly quickly jumped into the running lil’ pegasi, stopping her from running any further, “Scoot! I kno’ y’really want to fly, but jumpin’off the cliff ain’t got you an answer”.

Scootaloo sighed, she closed her eyes slowly and replied, “But... I don’t know any other option, jumping off a cliff may gain me adrenaline, and perhaps it could help me to fly, like... burst of energy”, Sweetie Belle trotted slowly to Scootaloo, “But I think you will be dead before you gain any adrenaline.” She said softly to her friend, worried very much about her. “But guys, what can I do now? I want to be like Rainbow Dash, but with wings like this? I need more training and more exercise and-“, “Why don’chu ask Rainbow Dash to teach you instead?” Apple Bloom interrupted Scootaloo’s self lecture, “A Goodie-good idea!”, Scootaloo shouted loud.

Scootaloo quickly went home with her trusty-scooter right after the school bell rang, she flapped her wing and started the ‘motor’, “ngguuunnngggg”, she hummed softly, imitating her wing’s sound. With the speed of 5 stallion power, Scootaloo dodged every single obstacle perfectly on her scooter, avoided the holes, moved through tree branches without hitting any, and arrived at the orphanage in one piece without making any causality. Scootaloo quickly dropped her saddlebag, and then quickly got on her scooter and went again.

Scootaloo slowed down her scooter and observed the cloud slowly, trying to find Rainbow Dash nap bed. Scootaloo scooted around ponyville, but she only saw the usual cloud, not Rainbow Dash’s nap bed, and strangely, not a single rainbow was sighted that day, except for rainbow cupcakes which were currently on sale. “I wonder where Rainbow Dash is, it’s unusual for her not napping on her cloud in this hours.”, Scootaloo mumbled to herself. Unknown to her, Rainbow Dash was attending Cloudsdale weather conference, since she was the weather leader from Ponyville.

“Another boring conference, and..... good! I already missed 5 hour of good nap, 5 hours of training and lunch.”, Rainbow Dash mumbled slowly on her desk, she was attending the monthly weather team conference from all across Equestria, and Rainbow Dash was a representative from Ponyville. The conference was talking about the upcoming winter, and the duty of every weather team to prepare for this year. Rainbow Dash actually didn’t really care about it, but her duty as Ponyville’s Weather Team Leader and her element forced her to stay.

That day almost ended, and the head of Equestria Weather Team ended the meeting, “....and that’s all for today, we’ll continue about the upcoming winter tomorrow at 5...”, “5 P.M?” Rainbow Dash interrupted loudly, she was really bored for the whole day, “No Ms. Rainbow, It’s 5 A.M tommorrow”, the head replied softly. Rainbow Dash was too bored that she suddenly lost her temper, “Are you joking? I must sit here listening to all of your toilet talk for another 10 hour?”, she shouted out loud. The head was annoyed by Rainbow Dash’s talk, but he tried to stay calm, “Yes, Ms. Rainbow, and please keep your mouth clean, it’s not a talk in your neighborhood, and also, this is very important for everypony in Equestria, so, the leader of every weather team must attend.”

Rainbow Dash digested the head’s word slowly, and replied followed by an apology, “Sorry, but it’s just I can’t hold my boredom. Once again, I’m sorry for my behavior, I promise it won't happen again”. The head nodded slowly to her, he smiled a bit and announced loudly, “All right everypony, we meet here again tomorrow at 5 A.M to talk about the plan for Summer. Now, everypony, dismissed.”. Everypony flew out from Cloudsdale town hall, all of them were still energetic for the next except for Rainbow Dash, she flew as fast as she could to her home above Ponyville.

Not long, Rainbow Dash already arrived on her house’s front door, before she unlocked the door, she saw a big balloon with Twilight inside. Rainbow Dash trotted slowly to the Balloon parking next to her house, “Twilight, what are you doing at my house?”, Twilight opened her heavy eyes, she wiped her eyes and saw the blue pegasus face in front of her, “Oh, Rainbow Dash *yawnnn*, Good Night, sorry if I disturbed but somepony really wanted to see you.”, Twilight then opened the blanket behind her, Scootaloo was sleeping quietly, small snores came out from her little mouth.

“Twilight, what is Scootaloo doing here?” Rainbow Dash asked Twilight, Twilight smiled a bit, and then replied to her, “Well... Scootaloo asked me where you were because she really wants to learn how to fly from you, I told her that you’re attending a meeting in Cloudsdale, so you weren’t in Ponyville. I heard about Scootaloo training plan from AppleBloom and... it was a bit dangerous, freefalling from a cliff to gain adrenaline to gains power to fly, silly huh? That’s why we have been waiting here for 5 hours, Scootaloo has gone over the line this time and she really needs your help, I hope you can, Rainbow Dash.”

Rainbow Dash sighed softly, she really wanted to help Scootaloo, but she had duty to fulfill tomorrow, Scootaloo was important but the Yearly meeting in Cloudsdale was very important as well. Her feelings was mixed, to chose between a friend or duty. Helping Scootaloo was important, but missing a single meeting would ruin Ponyville’s weather plan. Attending the meeting would help Ponyville to upcome next year, but that would mean she abandoned her friend, betraying her element, she didn’t know what to do.

“Twilight.... Could you tell Scootaloo that I’m busy? I would help her next month after the whole meeting finished.”, Twilight shook her head slightly, “ I’m afraid I can’t, Rainbow. Princess Celestia messaged me to come to Canterlot tomorrow, Fluttershy is taking care of her sick animals caused by an epidemic, Pinkie Pie have to help the Cakes to send the cakes, Rarity is holding a Fashion Show in Fillydhelpia, and Applejack is busy because the 5th sign of Zap Apple will come tomorrow, I think I can only rely on you, Dash.”

Rainbow Dash was very confused, she was in the middle of an argument in her mind, unable to hold, she quickly opened the front door and dashed in. She yelled out loud from her house, “Sorry, Twilight, I’m also very busy tomorrow, please tell Scootaloo I’m sorry, and also tell her that I promise that next time, I’ll help her practice.”. Twilight nodded softly, she then proceeded to return back to Ponyville, Twilight looked at sleeping Scootaloo, she whispered lowly in the filly’s ear, “Sorry, Scoot”.

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“Good Morning everypony, we’re all here to continue our meeting for next year plan, is everypony here?” The Head started the meeting with a short speech, he then proceeded to sign everypony in the room based on their weather team.

“Appleloosa”

“Here”

“Baltimore”

“Hare.. eh, here”

“Canterlot”

“Present”

...

.....

“Ponyville.... Ponyville, where’s Ponyville’s weather team leader?”

“I think she’s not here Sir.”

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At the cliff beside Everfree Forest, Scootaloo was standing at the end of a cliff, she stared down the cliff, it was deep and dark, a complete darkness without a presence of light. She gulped, she then stepped back some metres, after putting on her helmet, Scootaloo quickly ran to the end of the cliff, tried not to be afraid, she jumped off, flapping her wing as fast as she could, diving down hoping to gain some momentum. But everything didn’t go as planned, she was freefalling, her small wing couldn’t do anything. Small tears came out from her eyes, leaving a trail of tear,“Sorry everypony”, she sighed.

A second before she hit the ground, she felt her body became a bit lighter, she opened her eyes, “Am I dead?” she asked to herself. She opened her eyes wider, she was around the clouds, above the land, flying. She looked behind, her wings weren’t even moving, ”Yo, Scoot, are you alright?”, Scootaloo heard somepony speaking below her, she then looked down, she was holding on a light blue body, and rainbow mane around the neck.

“Rainbow Dash, You’re here!”, Scootaloo yelled in surprise, she hugged Rainbow Dash tightly, another tears dropped from her eyes. “Come on, now. Don’t cry, you’re safe, alright?”, Rainbow Dash spoke softly, comforting Scootaloo on her back. “But.. Rainbow Dash, didn’t you have an important meeting you must attend?”, asked Scootaloo. Rainbow Dash smiled a bit, she turned her head around, and spoke with confidence, “You know Scoot, that meeting is very important, but betraying a friend, especially my ‘lil’sister’ ,wouldn’t worth a year of organized weather in Ponyville.”. “But.. Rainbow-“, Scootaloo’s reply was interrupted by Rainbow Dash hoof, Rainbow Dash spoke even softer, it wasn’t usual for Rainbow Dash to speak softly, “Scoot, it doesn’t matter, as long as I have my friend, I will be a second pair of wings for them.”

The End

*Author Notes:
Pretty late update eh? Welp.... school (dag-nabbit), even I almost got no time for games, but well, better late than never right? This story is based on all of those Rainbow + Scoot feel story, and I decided to make one, and..... enjoy, sorry for all the grammar mistakes.
Ciao

Comments ( 14 )

Hmm.. Seems like a quick read.. I'll try it. :scootangel:

EDIT

Is english your first language? You have quite a few grammatical errors, one of them being that sometimes you left out the 'S' at the end of words. Some sentences didn't flow easily, like: "She hugged Rainbow Dash tightly, another tears dropped from her eyes." Could I suggest "She hugged Rainbow Dash tightly, more tears streamed down her face, falling onto the cyan pegasus' body." See how it flows more easily? I hate to point out wrongs in peoples work, I really do. But maybe you should go back and read it out loud, it helps greatly.

added to my read latter

Might wanna put in breaks between characters during dialogue.

“I WANT TO FLY!!!!!”, a familiar shouting sound echoed through Ponyville’s school. “Come on, Scoot. It’s just not yer time yet.”

should look more like

“I WANT TO FLY!!!!!”, a familiar shouting sound echoed through Ponyville’s school.

“Come on, Scoot. It’s just not yer time yet.”

It makes it a bit easier to read. :pinkiehappy:

It's nice, but it does have some grammatical errors that detract a bit from reading.

grammar and structure are my only complaints, the story is good otherwise.

1327228
Eeyupe, you guess it right. English is not my first language, I'm Indonesian, live in Indonesia where the english language isn't used much here. Also, it's not wrong to point out mistakes in people's work, I'm really thankful if somebody help to point out mistakes, since my english suck.

1327264
I'm still learning on deciding where to break the dialogue, but I'm just not good at it. I'm still a newbie, learning from experiences. May I ask you a question? How to make readers know who's speaking on each dialogue?

1327836
Grammatical errors, I get that comment every time, I really MUST learn more on vocab and tenses, since english isn't my first language, it's hard to translate it. Got my point? sorry bad grammar.

1329079
May I know what's wrong with the structure, please? and as I have stated in the other replies, I'm still a beginner learner and english isn't my first language. Thanks anyway :3

Thank you everybody for your comments and reviews, I promise I'll learn from my mistakes and make a better one next time. Ciao
*extra : oh.. and sorry for the extremely late reply, the time zone is different here, sorry.

1330765 Double post.

*ahem* I'm willing to help ween out the errors for this story, simply because I've been feeling good for a while.

1330814

oh.. slow internet, I hate it

Thanks for your help, you're kind, real kind :D

1330773
Its mostly the dialogue, its readable as is, but you'll find that it is easier when each has its own separate line when another character is talking. It helps distinguish who is the speaker. As for the grammar, I'd have to go back through and highlight the parts that need to be fixed because I've already forgotten :twilightblush:

1330851 Alrighty! All I'd need is some kind of way to access the files for the story; perhaps via Google Docs?

1330773

Quite easily when it's only between two characters. Establish who's talking, then continue to insert breaks in between them. An argument between two fillies is a good example of this. (I'm not a writer by any stretch of the imagination, so this example will be a bit bland. :twilightblush:)

"Oh yeah? Well I heard that Rainbow Dash Flunked out of flight camp!" Sweetie Bell Grinned.

"What? she did not!" Scootaloo yelled, fury in her eyes.

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

And so on. With more characters, you need to add more descriptors.

"Girls, that's enough!" Cherilee yelled.

1330904
here
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1449ufEfP-E9imCz6QCbN_ZhGvVQANpvExcGfjPqJO7g/edit
it's the raw one though :/, I edited the text after I moved it to fimfiction.net, so... yeah
and sorry for the extremely late reply (again), timezone :/

1331307
Thanks... that help me pretty much, I should try it in my next story (still WIP and on hiatus though)

1336902 s'all good, you replied and that's good enough.

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