A Call
When Strawberry Sunrise was only eight years old, the world came to an end.
She was playing in the backyard when it happened. Her dolls were arranged around her on a picnic blanket, plastic utensils and silverware interspaced between them. An empty pink teacup was cradled in her hooves.
Something came over her then. The birds fell silent, the wind faded away. In that second everything was still. Strawberry looked up at the cloudless sky, where the sun was sitting just above her head.
“Mom?”
And then, the sun vanished. It was gone for less than a second, and reappeared so quickly that light inexplicably failed to dim or change. The cup slipped out of her hooves and onto the grass. Her wings locked up in fear, and she felt the blood roaring in her ears as her heart seized up.
“Mom?!”
As quickly as it happened, it passed. The birds came out again, the wind returned to brush against her skin. Shakily, Strawberry stood up, abandoning her makeshift tea party and heading for the house.
“Mom!”
The only reply was the quiet rustling of leaves in the wind, resting on the distant chirping of birdsong. As she reached the backdoor, Strawberry turned to glance up at the sky. The sun was still there but… it was different.
All her life, she had been taught about how the sun was essential for all life in Equestria. She had read countless tales and stories about the raising and lowering of the sun, and how Celestia used it to ensure that they all had a world to live and love in.
But looking up at it, something was different.
There was nothing magical nor beautiful about it anymore. There was no awe nor fear within her as she regarded it. Just… nothingness. With a deep breath, Strawberry pushed open the screen door and stepped into her house.
It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. The blinds were drawn tightly and the lights were off. The door to the kitchen had been left slightly ajar, a few carrots sitting on the cutting board by the sink. Strawberry paused by the fridge and peeked inside, searching for any leftover juice boxes. There was one left: fruit punch flavored. She took it and poked the straw through the opening before continuing.
She stopped again at the stairwell. The hallway directly above it was dark, the house still and quiet as if it were holding its breath. As she began her ascent, sipping on her juicebox, Strawberry paused at the fifth step. Experience of sneaking into the kitchen for midnight snacks had taught her that the step would creak awfully. More out of habit than anything else, she stepped over it, giggling to herself as she did so.
When she looked up again there was something standing on the top of the stairs.
The figure looked like a pony, but dressed in a strange orange suit that covered all of its skin. It wore a helmet on its head with a black reflective visor, so shiny that Strawberry could see herself in it. They stood still and unmoving as if it were a statue.
Strawberry took a step up the stairs.
The figure took a step down.
In the helmet’s visor, Strawberry saw blurs and shapes. Stark, white limbs stretching across a pitch black sky. Distant stars burning in a pure bright glow. A roar of fire and a sudden, violent red. They passed by too fast to hold onto.
The two continued to draw closer and closer, step by step. With every step up, Strawberry felt the world bend and break around her. Noise began to fill the air: a heavy, labored breathing, a mechanical beeping, a scream, crying.
Finally the two came face to face, with Strawberry staring up at the pitch black visor.
“...Hi.”
The figure said nothing. Instead, they slowly raised their hoof.
Strawberry placed their own hoof in the figure’s. When they touched, she saw everything. Scenes and images flashed through her mind, faster than any Wonderbolt could ever dream of going. Even though she couldn’t make them out, Strawberry could feel the pure emotion embedded into each and every one.
Pain. Loss. Fear. Anger. And then… there was nothing. Just numbness.
They broke contact and the figure reached up to grasp their helmet. There was a hiss of escaping air, and slowly, Strawberry came face to face with herself.
The adult Strawberry looked down at her, in the same manner one would observe a bug below them. Her mouth was drawn in a taut line, her brow furrowed like she was deep in thought. Her eyes were dull, in a drastic contrast to the visor.
From somewhere behind her there was a low, distant humming: her mother’s favorite song. The adult Strawberry opened their mouth, but no sound came out. She seemed so tired. So empty.
Strawberry looked down to fiddle with her juicebox. It was a quiet weekend outside. There was no screaming, no frantic running for safety and shelter. Nothing. In the schoolyard, Strawberry had played out some end of the world scenarios with her friends. The return of Discord. Of aliens. Of creatures straight from tartarus. Worlds where they could play the hero and save the world from destruction.
But this. This wasn’t that. This was quiet, meek, barely even noticeable.
When Strawberry looked up, her adult self was gone, with no trace left behind that she was ever even there to begin with. The windchime on the porch let out a few solitary notes, and Strawberry proceeded up the stairs.
In a way, perhaps it was more poetic that the world came to end on a lazy Sunday afternoon. But it was still odd. Why was it so quiet? Why didn’t anyone fight it? Why was it so unrecognizable?
Strawberry pushed open the door to her parent’s room. Her mother was sitting on the bed, folding laundry and humming to herself. She didn’t look up as Strawberry entered. Strawberry trotted over to the bed and climbed into her mother’s lap.
“What is it, dear,” her mother asked, stroking her mane.
Strawberry leaned into the warmth of her mother. “Something happened,” she said quietly.
Her mother smiled. “No, nothing happened.” She sighed, taking the juicebox from Strawberry’s hooves. “Sweetie, I told you, you can’t drink this many of these. It’s not good for you.”
Strawberry didn’t reply.
“Do you want a snack? Are you hungry?”
She nodded, deciding that she was, and her mother set her down on the ground. Strawberry followed her mother back to the kitchen, and they spoke nothing more of the end of the world.
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What a ride this was, reminds me of old school twlight zone
So, my understanding is that Strawberry sacrificed her life to destroy the alien ship, and this last chapter was her ghost going back in time (or maybe dreaming it up) to see her younger self?
My biggest problem is that the pony chapters were entirely too disjointed for me to really understand what was going on as a whole with them. At least not without going back to reread them.
11553418
Yeah, that's right! We decided to tell Laotyn's storyline as going forward in time, and Strawberry's as going backward in time. It's intended to be a little confusing, and to benefit from re-reading if you want to. Thank you for reading it though
11553704
Ah, that makes a lot of sense. I suppose I might try to give it another read at some point when I have more time.
and a beautiful, beautiful echo of the end of the previous chapter. there is a beautiful inscrutability here of what the adult Strawberry Sunrise was intending with these appearances to her younger self. maybe she is travelling backwards in time herself, and the previous chapter was her last, desperate attempt to lay the seeds in her younger self to save the world. but the paradox of changing the past and the Strawberry Sunrise of it all both converge… and this is her final moment in her past, resigned to the futility of it all, sharing one final moment with her younger self before everything goes wrong for her.
and quickly rereading the very first chapter here, oof. it was all there from the beginning. definitely worth a reread with the whole story in mind
i can’t even say that this was one of the best stories i have ever read on this site. this is one of the best stories i have ever read, period. and i find it difficult to find the words to express my feelings on it because it feels like nothing i write could really do this work justice. all i can say is that i am beyond honored to have this entry in this contest.
11595606
Wow, thank you, Bike. That's high praise indeed, and I really appreciate it. Thank you for running the contest and inspiring the story!
Now for the ultimate test - between Red and I can you guess who wrote Laotyn and who wrote Strawberry?
11596288
you wrote Laotyn and Red, the personification of cdn.discordapp.com/emojis/886641780068585502.webp?size=96&quality=lossless , wrote Strawberry?
11596293
It wasnt that much of a challenge to guess tbh
Finally got round to reading this and I really really enjoyed it!
Spoilers btw
The only section I am struggling with is the connection of the sun disappearing - is it due to Laotyn's race's contact or Strawberry's time travel/flashback (or a third thing I haven't thought of). My poor reading comprehension is likely to blame, but I've been thinking about it all day and it's starting to drive me mad
11621372
It's to do with Laotyn's ship passing between Equus and the sun once it's in Issia's orbit, but because the stories are in reverse chronological order and the two protagoists perceive time very differently it's not super clear. We were going to make it clearer in editing but the contest was ending so we sorta ran out of time
11621384
Ah perfect, thank you!
above even everything else, the shape of this story’s narrative is so immensely gorgeous
a few questions sorry:
sorry that feels like a lot of questions
Fascinating, haunting work. Outstanding job in using the opposing temporal directions to establish the details, then bring them together once the two stories intersect. Thank you for a disquieting but incredible experience.
11842214
Thanks so much for this comment, I really appreciate it.
11842214
Thanks! Shas and I are very proud of this one ^^
It was an interesting decision to travel backwards in narrative with the ponies to underline how their time on Equestria was ending (a sunset) juxtaposing that against the traditional chronology of the aliens' time which in theory would be just beginning on Equestria (a sunrise)... assuming things work out....
Assorted Thoughts About Some Themes
Maybe someone else can expound more about this but there appeared to be a theme of words hurting but not speaking being a worse decision. (That theme appears to be in the very title of the tale, so I am fairly sure I am on the right path!) Laotyn not trying to communicate with anypony else probably doomed any chance at reconciliation and then by not speaking up at the end may have also doomed the colonist aliens.
There also seemed to be a theme of middling performance being key, although (if I was not reading too much into this point) maybe I missed some of its permutations or what the theme's payoff was supposed to be? In PS1- Strawberry graduated in the middle of her class and in Closer 2 she was mid-way through her schooling. And in the first chapter, she, the one who was least likely to use her talents, was the one who ended up having the star chapter rather than Luna or Celestia.
I am not sure if there is a deeper meaning in that all of the friend pony group has strong associations with red. Cherry, Strawberry, Blossomforth, Redheart, etc. Maybe someone else can sort that out.
Comments on Specific Chapters
- Fluorescence was a chilling chapter, especially realizing what happens in the first chapter!
- Dramatic irony... The Scintillation chapter confirmed the terror that readers know is coming.
- I see some entertaining play on the Pandemic era for inspiration in descriptions in "Waiting Room".
In Closing
This was a neatly wrapped traditional SciFi story that one could probably enjoy in a professional anthology from the 60s-90s. Thank you for sharing!
Comments shared because this piece was nominated for review here by a reader.
11860504
Thank you for the review - you definitely picked up on a lot of the themes Red and I were trying to convey.