Eeh, not bad for a first story. Welcome to the site kid.

That's pretty damn good for a very first chapter hope this more coming soon

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Thanks Bro 😘😘
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More Thanks 😎😎

I've never read something from a non-English speaker with such a huge vocabulary! If you got an editor to clean up some of the grammar mistakes, I think this would be a super well-written story.

But even with the grammar mistakes, I love this ship too much to care. It's always hot to see tomboyish mares like Zipp succumb to their marely instincts, and you explored that aspect wonderfully.

Looking forward to chapter 2!

Normally, I don't read this type of story, but since you're a new writer I decided to give this story a try. And I have to say, I'm genuinely impressed.
Sure, there are some mistakes that a proof reader would catch, but nothing that was really too distracting. And unlike a lot of clopfics, I actually like the story here.
So yeah, I'm gonna be tracking this one. Welcome to the Herd, friend.

Something I noticed is that sometimes you confuse the "he's" and the "she's". I realize he and she can be the same in some languages. Just keep in mind that "she" is always used for female characters and "he" for male. Sometimes it was just hard to tell if you were referencing Zipp or Hitch. Otherwise, good story so far!

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Well, you're quite right there. You see, my original language is Spanish so the words "he" and "she" sometimes find no difference between the genre of the characters. It's a bit annoying, I completely agree with that, but sometimes as I write I get confused and get carried away since English focuses on rules that cannot be broken, unlike Spanish