Source Code

by Nugget27

The Party Snowdrop Dragged Me and Button To.

“Why are we going to a party?” I asked.

“Because some nobles saw me, and thought they could introduce their sons to me; they want a piece of ‘royal cake’ as you will. They know that I am ‘adopted’ by Luna, so I am technically royalty. I am also, according to them and many other stallions, that I am highly attractive. In other words, it’s a win-win for the nobles… Their son gets a ‘cute mare’ to date, and sleep with, and the nobles themselves gets to become royalty; a fancy new title woo.” Snowdrop did not sound enthusiastic about that. “So I’m making you come with me for two reasons.” She said as she dug through her wardrobe and pulled out a simple, white dress. It had black accents in it, on the shoulders, and where the skirt was. In other words, it was designed to show off her body, but be rather simple and pleasing to the eyes.

“One of those reasons is that I’d like somepony that I can tolerate at the party.”

“Tolerate? I thought you loved me,” I said, pretending to sound hurt.

“Source, you’re technically my uncle through adoption.” She planted a kiss on my cheek. “Of course I love you!” She started looking sad. “You know that, right?” She tilted her head. Again, this kid’s adorable… an adorable kid that’s a thousand years older than me.

“I do, Snowdrop. I’m just pulling your leg.” Now was a good time to mention that Snowdrop takes her relationships with everypony very seriously. As in they better know just how much this wonderful little lady appreciates and loves them, or she will not be happy. She will then do everything in her power to make sure said pony that she loves knows she loves them. I hugged Snowdrop just after she put her dress on. Snowdrop, being the cinnamon roll that she is, hugged my neck and nuzzled me.

“Good,” she has no right looking as adorable as she does when she’s excited. “The other reason is so you can punch anypony that decides it’s a good idea to hit on me, including the nobles’ sons. You’re quite fit, and quite the talented mage, and everypony knows you’ll be attending. They want to meet the new High Prince, after all.”

“...So essentially I’m going as your ‘dad’, but I’m actually your uncle?” I asked. Button and I were wearing our matching, daily attire, well mine. I was wearing my trench coat and white undershirt and Irish cap and Button was doing the same.

“Essentially, is that a problem?” She asked.

“Nah. If anypony’s creepin on ya, I’ll teach them a thing or two.” I patted Snowdrop on the head, which was kinda hard since she was still taller than I was. “When the fuck will that Alicorn-iness kick in and make me grow? I’m as tall as Fluttershy, which is really short for a unicorn stallion like me!” I groaned.

“Don’t worry Dad,” Button hugged the back of my head after jumping on my back. “When I’m bigger, I’m going to be able to carry you around like a baby! It’ll be so great!”

“...I swear to god if you end up being taller than me, Button, I will tickle you in public until you pee.”

Button’s ears shot up. “Uh… I’ll tickle you back until you pee at the Gala?”

You know that would be embarrassing and pretty funny… “Bet.”

Snowdrop rolled her eyes. “Of course you’d want to be known as ‘Princess Celestia's handsome, regal husband… The one who pissed in the Gala while dancing with Princess Celestia.’” She swatted me with her tail, before leading the two of us to the door. “Come along now, we must be fashionably late…” we stepped out the door and started heading down the hallway.

“So,” I said. “Why didn’t you let me get some rest? I punched the shit out of Sombra, and had a long train ride home. Rainbow Dash kindly reminded me that no, I am not okay, when she tried getting me to joust with her. I just want nothing more than to grab Button, go to a park in Ponyville or some other no-name town and read a book with him right now… Of course, you could come too if you wanna spend time with me.” I said as we stepped out onto a balcony.

“Well, Source, this party is happening now. I sorta… need an escort now rather than later. One that’ll make it clear that I am not up for courting noble stallions.” She spread her wings. “Well? Ready to start flying, wing boy?”

“Wait a second,” I paused. “Why are we flying?”

“Because it’s for style!’ Snowdrop said, slowly waving a hoof in the air.

“For somepony without eyes-”

“I sure do like style, I know. I was going to make that joke, Uncle! Let me make fun of myself!”

“No. I’m your uncle, it’s my job to steal your blind jokes.”

“Great, now I can’t see the humor in those jokes anymore. It’s all because of you.” We both snorted. Button groaned at our retardedness. I mean, our amazing jokes.

“I have the lamest cousin in the world; she’s rubbing off on the coolest Dad in the world.” He grumbled as he held tightly onto my neck. I will admit, Snowdrop could probably give Rainbow Dash a run for her money when it comes to stunt flying. Crazy bitch damn near dropped out of the air a few times to skydive and immediately climb back up. I could even tell that she’s going slow for my inexperienced, flying ass. You see, Celly said she and I would go flying every morning.

Then I got kidnapped.

Then I got held hostage.

Then Celly got smacked by Chrysalis (fucking bug bitch) and broke her wing and her legs.

Then I played maid for Celly because she likes seeing me in a tuxedo.

Then Cadance’s wedding happened and it got fucked up.

Then our wedding happened, and we got distracted.

Then the Sombra needed to stop breathing air, so I made him breathe in the vacuum of space… for a week. The Sun is gonna be his grave.

And then I never actually got to fly with Celly every morning. That might change tomorrow at least.

Needless to say, I still wasn’t very good at flying. I was able to keep up with Snowdrop when she wasn’t doing tricks, or going full speed. What was really wacky was she flew in front of me, started flying backwards at the same speed, just to nuzzle my nose. I think Snowdrop is just enjoying herself; pegasi, no matter what, loves flying… Well, Fluttershy certainly prefers being on the ground when she can. Snowdrop, despite being blind, is probably one of the best flyers I have ever seen.

The way she effortlessly glided through the wind, as her dress fluttered as she went, to her tricks. Snowdrop was another level of gracefulness that I don’t even think Celly or Luna could reach. Sure, they were regal, but then there was elegance. My wonderful little niece was one of the most graceful flyers in Equestria despite her disability…

“Oh that was fun!” Snowdrop, at some point, swiped Button off my back and started carrying him. Somehow. Don’t ask how, or how she managed to perfectly stick him back on my back before we landed in front of the manor Snowdrop was leading us to. It was kinda fancy. Fancy Pants and Fleur De Lis were walking up. Sadly Fleur and Fancy didn’t see us before we landed and had already headed inside when we actually landed. Twilight and her friends for some reason were also approaching the manor. I don’t know why.

I thought they were gonna head back to Ponyville, but as it turns out, they’re national heroes and potential ‘suitors’ apparently.

Specifically Rainbow and Apple Jack, and Twilight. Those three, apparently, were extraordinarily ‘beautiful’ or something. I don’t know; I still don’t fully know what is considered attractive, but my body does apparently since I still end up watching the sway of Celly’s flank while she walks. No Celly does not catch this and make her flanks sway even more, or notice how my body follows her wings like a cat on its own. I hate this stupid body; it’s more easily ruled by animalistic instincts than a human body.

So anyways, Fluttershy and Rarity were both graceful, and Pinkie was also kinda pretty, even if she was fucking unhinged most of the time. And according to some, she is a little chubby from eating a shit ton of sweets. I don’t think that matters; I think Pinkie’s trying to find somepony equally as silly as her.

With that said, they were all dressed up in dresses that were just as simple as Snowdrop’s, save Rarity. Hers was a bit more sparkly. Spike was wearing a little tuxedo. Was this a theme of the party? Fluer wasn’t wearing a dress, and several other mares weren’t. Usually ones with stallions weren’t wearing a dress, but a majority of the mares here, that came in alone, weren’t wearing dresses

“No time for rest, is there?” I asked as I approached the mares.

“No. This is apparently a really important party,” Twilight sighed. “It’s a holiday that the Princesses themselves don’t celebrate, but it’s the day that Celestia and Luna were officially ‘crowned’ as the rulers of Equestria. Parties like this are meant to try and lure out the Princesses into coming out to them.” Oh. “This is also the start of the ‘mating season’ for ponies; it’s the start of summer, and ponies have two mating seasons.

“Typically, summer and fall are the mating seasons. Foals are then born in the spring, or the start of summer the following year. Parties like this are for mares looking for mates. I never partook in these parties, but the book said to wear a simple, form fitting dress that matched or enhanced your coat’s natural colors, so that’s what I did. It seems like a few mares may try and make a move on you, Source.” Twilight said with a small smirk. “All of the mares wearing dresses are either in a homosexual relation with another mare, and finding a stallion, or are single mares looking for a stallion.

“Given who you are, Your Highness, and what could be gained from dating you, you’re one of the most eligable stallions.” I slowly eyed Rarity who was batting her eyes at me.

“What? Fruit Punch and I were dating, but we broke up. He had ‘plans’ apparently for… some creature. He didn’t say who, though.”

Wait a second. Several mares, and a few stallions were eying me… Fuck me, man.

WHAT THE FUCK KINDA PARTY DID I BRING BUTTON?! THIS IS LITERALLY A PARTY FOR FINDING A FUCK BUDDY! I blinked a few times. I luckily can remain calm in situations like this, but I am going to beat the shit out of anypony who makes a move on Button and is over the age of eighteen.

“Wait.” I raised a hoof. “Why’re y’all here then? I might know why Rarity’s here-”

Twilight cleared her throat. “Pinkie’s just here to party. Rarity wants to try and be a wingmare for Fluttershy. Maybe get a new stallion to replace Fruit. Dash and Apple Jack are just coming along to see if they can find a stallion at all, and I’m here because…” She started blushing. “I-”

“You wanna find somepony to get cuddly with?” I bobbed my eyebrows. “Twi, my little brother asked me about a girl. He has the same expression you got right now; it’s adorable. But also…” I grinned. “I know how to tease you about it.” Twilight became redder and it was adorable. I love teasing ponies that are younger than I am... mentally. Mentally I am older than most of the ponies present.

I'm still a fucking retard, though.

Rainbow then pointed at Snowdrop. “Why’s she here anyways?”

“Somepony invited me; I’m one of the most eligible mares in town. I'm the adopted daughter of Princess Luna, I am apparently ‘supermodel hot’, whatever that means, and nobles want a new title and their sons want a cute mare to sleep with.” Snowdrop nuzzled under my wing. “Source is going to act as my ‘crazy dad’ to chase stallions off.”

“Dash was watching you two fly the whole time,” Apple Jack smirked. “She thinks yer wings are purty, Snowdrop.” I could feel how much thicker AJ’s accent gets when she’s teasing Dash.

“S-shut up! You like her too!” Dash started sputtering.

“Ah do. You just want another flying buddy, and apparently Snowdrop’s a good one?” AJ asked. “No offense, Snowdrop; you’re a talented flier if Dash was impressed with your moves, but Ah’m shocked that you can fly at all."

“Well,” Snowdrop tilted her head, making her eyes nice and wide. “I can’t see your point; why wouldn’t I be a good flier?” Everypony paused. “Get it? I’m blind. I can't argue with you on why it makes no sense for me to be good at flying.”

“...Snowdrop, that’s awful,” Twilight shook her head. “Seriously, that is awful. I’m glad you’re comfortable with yourself, but that is seriously terrible.”

“I know. With jokes like that, and my crazy uncle,” I slowly pulled out a crowbar from under my other wing. “...Uncle, why do you have a crowbar?”

“It’s a good, blunt weapon that I don’t need a lot of skill to use.” I also teleported it to me. No, I don’t keep it behind the fireplace. I keep it next to the bed in case that the nuclear weapon that is my wife isn't enough to stop somepony from possibly trying to kill us.

“So yeah, crazy Uncle, Crazy mare,” Snowdrop shrugged. “I don’t want to find a mate at one of these ‘parties’. If I find a mate, I want to find one because somepony was genuinely interested in me, Snowdrop. Not interested in Snowdrop, Luna’s daughter and Celestia’s niece.” She nuzzled me again. “Thanks for coming out to this-” I took her talisman and put it on her head. “Wha-”

“Your crazy uncle learnt magic a while ago,” I chuckled. “If you get seperated, teleport to me if some creepy dude tries getting under your tail.” I hummed. “So the dresses?” I asked… Then I remembered. “Nevermind. I forgot that wearing clothes is more enticing than wearing nothing to you ponies.” I spun around. “Well, let’s go get this shit over with.”

---

When we entered the party, Snowdrop stuck under my wing like glue. The party itself looked like a less grand version of the Gala. Instead of a fancy ballroom that the Gala was held in, since the manor we were on was significantly smaller, it was held in the lobby. It was still big, and still a snobby, snooty, rich people party, but it wasn’t as fancy as the Gala. Of course, since the ponies running it were douchebags, there were art pieces made out of junk, or single colors. As Twilight predicted…

Everypony here was wearing a simple dress, or a simple suit. Usually they were somewhat form fitting. So say, since Dashie is wearing a somewhat form fitting dress, you can see every muscle and curve on that mare. Same with Pinkie, you can see that she is a tiny bit chubby, but then again, Pinkie is still somewhat fit thanks to her being an earth pony; their metabolisms are second only to alicorns with how much they can pack away. Unicorns actually have higher metabolisms than earth ponies in very rare cases, namely if said unicorns are constantly performing high maintenance spells, or use a lot of magic.

Twi and I don’t do that as often so our metabolisms are more in line with a normal unicorn.

I looked around and hummed.

“So this is what mate finding parties have turned into,” Snowdrop hummed. “How boring. All the stallions are refraining from making moves on any mares,” she rolled her eyes. “Back in my time, a pony had the balls to walk right up to Luna and say she was sexy. The two of them were wedded the following week. Back in my time, if I weren’t blind, I would’ve been courted by at least four stallions.” She scoffed.

“Is that…” I smirked.

“Yes, I am now aware of how ‘striking’ my appearance is, Source. Especially after you helped me see myself with a Night Vision spell. I am rather confident in my appearance and think highly of myself, thank you very much." As in she has good self esteem, something I currently lack.

“Say,” I hummed. “How’d you find that dress if you-”

“I sniffed it out.” Snowdrop said matter-of-factly. “What?” She asked. I was snickering. “So I may have looked like a dog while sniffing it out, yes. Very funny, Uncle.”

“Hey, I’m still impressed. I’m just imagining you with a dog’s sniffer, going through your closet until you find the right dress.”

Snowdrop giggled. “I can imagine it would be pretty funny, yes.” Suddenly, the stallions started looking more active. We had split up from the rest of the group… Why are there foals here? There were colts and fillies… Oh. Mental manipulation or whatever. Get the fillies and colts talking, and they become friends. Since a lot of couples are actually foalhood friends, they’ll likely be married and have hundreds of grand foals by the time they’re actually married. So I kept Button on my back; I don’t want some rabid fillies going after him when he clearly has his sights set on Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

“You know Dad,” he hummed. “I thought picking up mares would be less weird,” he said as he looked around. Most of the stallions were standing around awkardly while the mares were trying to get the stallions to make a love here or there. It was kinda sad, honestly. But most of the attendees are probably fresh out of maturity.

“Kiddo,” I chuckled. “Parties like this are stupid.”

“Why?” Snowdrop asked. “Well, actually I get why. But why do you think they’re stupid?”

“Choosing a marefriend or coltfriend based on meeting them at a party like this is stupid. Humans… well, we don’t have a mating season, or ‘heat’ or anything. When we feel like having kids, we just do the motions until the female’s carrying a kid. We choose mates based on interactions we’ve had with said mates. We interact, sometimes the guy walks up to the girl and he jokes around, the girl laughs or likes the jokes. The two get along, and suddenly they’re dating. If things go well, they get married, or not married but still have a kid. Getting married is just a legal way of saying you love somebody.

“And I will admit,” I tapped my wedding ring on my horn. “I loved my wedding day. But if it never happened, Celly and I would still be together; Celly was just excited about having a wedding, and seeing her in that wedding dress was probably the highlight of my life.” I shrugged. “I’m getting off topic. Basically, parties like this… kinda don’t exist on Earth. They used to back when Kings and Queens actually ruled the globe and monsters besides us ran amok, but not anymore. At least for normal people.”

“Well,” Snowdrop shrugged. “I suppose outside of these bizarre parties, ponies are much the same. It’s just parties like this that help with finding mates. It gets mares and stallions talking to each other.”

“...Yeah, that’s fair. For us humans, after we receive our education, you don’t really ever actually interact with people. Outside of jobs where you have to interact with people, I don’t think I’ve talked to a random girl while out and about.”

A filly walked up and waved at Button. “Hello!” The little girl had a jet black coat and a light blue mane. She looked pretty damn cool, and also adorable. She’s a unicorn, a common thing amongst the nobility of Canterlot. Like most of the adults, she was wearing a dress, though it was more loose fitting than the mares. Since I suppose making a form fitting dress for a kid would be pretty damn strange. “Hello your Highness, can I talk with that colt on your back:? Is he your son?”

“Actually,” I hummed. “Whaddya say Button?”

My kid was eying the filly rather closely despite still being on my back. “Your parents told you to come over here, didn’t they?” He asked.

The filly’s eyes darted left and right, before slowly denying that.

“Dad taught me how to catch liars rather easily. Apparently everypony is awful at lying… Hesitation is usually a sign of lying.” Not exactly was I said, but he wasn't exactly wrong either.

“Well… I asked my parents if I could come over here, and they noticed who I was pointing at. They said yes,” the filly answered immediately. Huh. She actually didn’t lie on that one. I was running a lie detection spell. “I just wanted to say your suit looked nice; you’re quite handsome… Button.” The kid paused. “I’m Midnight Starbright, nice to meet you!” She extended her hoof.

Button shrugged and rolled off my back and landed perfectly on his hooves. “I’m Button. I’m this thing’s son,” he pointed at me.

“...So you’re a prince?” Midnight asked. “Like an actual Prince?”

“Does being related to a High Prince make me a prince?” Button asked, looking at me and Snowdrop.

“It makes you a High Prince, kiddo,” I ruffled his mane. “It’s something your filly friends don’t really think about since I don’t think it’s really hit them that I’m a Prince instead of their weird tutor. Though I think if you told Sweetie Belle, she’d love the idea of finding her prince in shining armor?” Button hummed.

“She would like that…” He shrugged.

“You… you’re taken?” Midnight asked, looking a little down.

Button shrugged. “I’m like… nine years old; Dad said that’s too young to be dating. He’s just an awful dad that teases me for hanging out with two specific fillies-”

“You just admitted to thinking Sweetie would like dating you if you were her prince in shining armor,” I teased. "You like-like her!"

“Buck you, Dad.” Button sighed. “So I like Sweetie Belle! Is that bad?”

“No. It’s cute.” I ruffled his mane. “Midnight, you can go ahead and hangout with Button if you wanna.” I shrugged.

“I can?” Midnight asked. She looked at Button.

“Another friend wouldn’t be too bad,” my kid responded. The two of them wandered off into the crowd. Midnight immediately struck up a conversation with Button and the two of them were merrily chatting away as they disappeared.

“...And,” I noted as Button accidentally took Midnight to the dance floor and started dancing with her. “Another potential flliyfriend for Button,” I chuckled.

“Your son has better game than you do,” Snowdrop teased.

“So? More grandkids. Celly would love that.” I’m not sure how to feel about the fact that I’ll become a grandpa at some point. I can barely comprehend that I'm an uncle.

Before either of us could keep talking, Prince Blueblood sauntered up to us.

“Why hello, my dear cousin,” he said. He somehow failed to notice me. He bowed to Snowdrop. “May I have this dance?”

“We’re bucking cousins,” Snowdrop pointed out.

“So? Dating your adopted cousin is normal. I believe it was even in practice before you got frozen. So why not date a true prince instead of the thing beside you?” He still hadn’t noticed that my wing was draped over Snowdrop while she pondered upon what Blueblood was offering. She chewed on her brownie, suspended in her talisman’s magic, as she stared blankly somehow. She’s literally blind yet her eyes are the most expressive part of her; somehow she conveyed a ‘really muthafucka’ look without even knowing it.

“Blueblood, that’s bucking weird. I wouldn’t date Uncle Source because that shouldn’t be in practice.”

“Oh please, who would want to date that creton? I think Auntie Celestia is missing a few screws if she thinks that dating him-”

“Hey Blueblood,” Snowdrop started snickering. “Who’s draping their wing over my back right now?” Blueblood stopped talking, and turned to see me. As soon as he realized who was standing next to Snowdrop, he had a crowbar shoved up his ass. No, it didn’t fit all the way, the curved part made it really hard, but boy was Blueblood riving in pain because of the metal stick up his arse.

“So,” I said. “Lovely party?” I asked as I grabbed a brownie.

Snowdrop had casted a Night Vision spell, and could see again… just so she can see what I did to Blueblood. He was screaming silently because I also casted a Silence spell on him before he could start screaming.

“Uncle,” Snowdrop snickered. “How did you get that so deep into Blueblood?”

“I dunno. I just jammed it up there. That won’t kill him, right?”

“No. Blueblood’s survived a lot of things that he shouldn’t. It’s like somepony up above wants him to suffer for being a dick.”

“Maybe God is real after all.” I chuckled. “Meh, GUARDS!” I used the Royal Canterlot Voice. “SOMEPONY ASSAULTED MY NEPHEW! PLEASE GET A MEDIC AT YOUR LATEST CONVENIENCE BUT NOT THIS INSTANT. THANK YOU!” We walked away from Blueblood, as entertaining as it was to watch him scream about the crowbar stuck up his plot hole.

---

As we walked around… oh hey, Solar’s here.

“Hey man!” I walked up to him and shook his hoof.

“Hey Source,” he sighed. “Princess Celestia told me to take the day off and sent me here,” Solar motioned. He was wearing a simple, black suit with a bowtie. He looked rather dapper, not gonna lie.

“Ah, that sucks.”

“It does. I hate parties like this. And now I have to participate?” He sighed. “So are you looking for another mare?” He asked.

“Nah, Celly is plenty.”

“But you have a date right there-”

“That’s my niece, Snowdrop-”

“SHE’S THE ONE THAT GLUED MY ARMOR’S BOOTS TO MY HOOVES!” He sighed. “It was a good prank, admittedly.” He slowly, actually looked Snowdrop over and his jaw dropped. “Sweet mother of Celestia you’re beautiful,” he almost whispered.

“You’re rather handsome as well,” Snowdrop hummed. “It’s why I decided to prank you; I wanted to see how you react.”

“It was funny after I realized you just used gluesticks on my boots, so getting my boots off wasn’t impossible, just really inconvenient.” He chuckled. “How many gluesticks did it take?”

“A whole case of them. Those things are awful, but it was worth seeing your reaction.”

“...Source, this is your bucking niece?”

“Eeyup. Luna’s adopted daughter from a thousand years ago. Don’t ask how she’s still alive, because none of us know how. She’s like… nineteen, biologically, even if technically she’s a thousand and nineteen years old.” I shrugged. “Why do you ask?”

“You know,” Snowdrop nuzzled up to Solar. “I do like a knight in shining armor, and as a Royal Guardstallion, you fit that description rather well, don’t you think?” Snowdrop’s heard a thing or two about Solar from me… This is why she wanted me to come, isn't it? Chase off the one weirdo, Blueblood, and instantly spot my bro, and boom. She has a stallion.

“Uh…” Solar started drawing a blank.

“Snowdrop, remember how we spoke about you being incredibly attractive?” I asked.

“I do,” Snowdrop tilted her head. “Is something wrong?”

“Pretty mares break stallions’ brains.” I pointed out.

“So I will just have to take Solar onto the dance floor! Come along, Solar! We shall dance, and the courting ritual of ‘dating’ shall commence at once!” As soon as Snowdrop walked away, two very familiar looking mares walked up to me. One was Sunny Skies, the other was Starry Night. You can probably guess who was who. Since Starry Night had Tale tucked under her wing, which was kinda cute. Anyways, for those who could not guess, these were Celly and Luna’s disguises.

“So,” I hummed. “You three planned this out?” I asked as I teleported a mug of whisky to me.

“No…” Sunny Skies smiled. “Snowdrop just expressed her desire to finally meet Solar Strike in person,” she hummed. “So Princess Celestia told him to take the day off, with an order to come to this specific party,” we watched as the two started dancing. Solar’s brain started working enough for him to at least dance with Snowdrop, who was as graceful as ever. Sadly, this broke when Solar told Snowdrop what seemed like a joke or an attempt at flirting, said joke, or flirt, you never know, resulted in my niece kissing my bro on the nose. That rebroke Solar. “It seems like they will get along nicely,” she mused.

“Man, what the hell did I get my man into,” I chuckled as Solar flopped on the ground. Snowdrop started panicking and was trying to make sure he was alright… in the background, Blueblood was being carted off to the nearest hospital.

Starry Nights noticed this.

“What happened to the Prince?” She asked.

“Tried hitting on his adopted cousin, so he took a crowbar in the arse. Is that bad?”

“That looks painful,” Starry pointed out.

Sunny Skies and Starry were wearing simple dresses to match the party, but I think it was just to fit in better. Sunny nuzzled up to me and whispered. “You know, the mating season is starting. What would you say to another foal running around? I’m certain that Button would love a little brother or sister. Perhaps your special somepony would like you to service them, hmm?”

“Celly, you are extra horny because of the season, calm your tits down… we’ll try for a foal though.” Sunny cheered, and everypony looked her way. “Don’t mind her, everypony, she just had a little too much to drink!” Everypony went back to their business as usual.

“...I am going to make you pay for that,” Sunny grumbled. “How dare you say I drank a little too much, when you drink gallons of whisky at a time.”

“Not my fault you’re a light drinker,” I teased.

“Me?” Sunny scoffed. “A light drinker? Want to bet?” She scowled.

“Sure.”

We ended up leaving the party a few hours later. Sunny was laying on my back, incredibly drunk. Starry Nights followed us out with Tale, while Snowdrop didn’t. She went home with Solar Strike for the evening. As we walked on, Starry was laughing uncontrollably.

“Sister, you should be aware of how much alcohol your husband can handle,” she laughed.

“Shattap. I still won… six gallons ago.” Celly did get through a gallon or two of whisky.

The problem was that she chose whisky for the drink of choice during our drinking contest. I drank sixteen gallons of the stuff.

“So, Celly’s a light drinker,” I chuckled. “I am going to have to watch over her when she wakes up tomorrow, won’t I?” I asked.

“You will. Worry not, I can rule the country for the day while my sister is out.” Luna giggled. “Though once my sister is better, I am taking Tale; mating season hits alicorn mares a lot harder than it hits the stallions, as it seems…” She grinned. “Would you be willing to service me, my lovely little author?”

“I would, my lady,” Tale grinned. “Would you like a poem, or a novel?” He asked. I don’t wanna know what the fuck that meant, so I started speed walking ahead of them to avoid any sexual innuendos those two were brewing. Instead, me, Button, and Celly were straight to bed. No questions asked. We got home a solid hour before Luna did because of my speed walking.

“Button, I recommend sleeping on the couch tonight, since Celly while hungover is not a pretty sight,” I motioned.

“Okay Dad. Why did Mom think she could beat you at drinking? You beat Auntie Luna and she drinks more than Mom does.”

“I dunno. So how was Midnight? Diddya like her?” I asked.

“She set up a playdate down in Ponyville so she could meet the rest of the Crusaders, Dad.” Button tilted his head. “Why?”

“I dunno. Midnight was rather adorable. I’m sure you found her unique coloring to be pretty.”

“...It was. Why?”

“Nothing, Button. I’ll come by to tuck you in after I get your mother set up for her hangover tomorrow.” I went and grabbed as much water as I could, and set it near the bed, when I knew I wouldn’t actually need it. I was gonna rid Celly of her hangover as soon as she wakes up tomorrow in the morning. I just wanted to use tomorrow morning as an excuse for the two of us to snuggle in the morning and enjoy some flying. After the bucket, and buckets of water were set up, I came back, tucked Button in on the couch and told him the plan for tomorrow.

We were gonna snuggle attack Celly once I heal her.

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[Maze Warmhoof]

“I’m Button. I’m this thing’s son,” he pointed at me.

Non-Ironically ruined a shot glass of my own whisky when i read this...thanks!

[Angelo 10]

Cool chapter

[0thefool]

Blueblood is a funny character in mlp fandom. Either he is a total brain-dead asshole or a hidden hero sacrificing almost everything for the greater good.

[Nugget27]

11934575
In this, he's just a comedic punching bag for me to abuse in various ways. This time it's a crowbar in the arse

[Booster Spice]

Given Bluebloods style and activities, Im suprised he even noticed something as small as a crowbar.

I man, get Pinkie to give Crysalis a wired spycam to put in just the right place and the screen in the room next door and the cable would easily fit under teh doors at least.

As for Sombra.

He used a Horncrux.

I wonder what excuse and actors theyre going to use for Flash Gordon 2?

I wanna see Light Shield use the Orouboros. code. After all, it can start in Python. the big trick is the HyperOrouborous, where the generator can generate new language instances by changing representative symbols, relations etc. If it can do it fast enough then the code becomes almost impossible to attack except by extreme brute force?

[Bruuuuuuuuh]

11934576
I'm surprised he got it to fit with all the sticks already up there

[Bruuuuuuuuh]

AsTwilight predicted…

forgot to put a space

[SethFilms]

We were gonna snuggle attack Celly once I heal her.

WE ATTACK AT SUNRISE!!!! XD

[tsaukpaetra]

Awww,someone is missing his Queen...
Interesting how eager Midnight is being. Seeking approval from the lead mare already?

[Luckyfanisaac]

“Hey, I’m still impressed. I’m just imagining you with a dog’s sniffer, going through your closet until you find the right dress.”

But most of the attendees are probably fresh out of maturity.

“I would, my lady,” Tale grinned. “Would you like a poem, or a novel?” He asked.