• Member Since 3rd Nov, 2019
  • online

marmalado


Long-time fanfic writer, newbie ponefic writer. Lives for platonic Pinkie/Fluttershy fluff. Proud Odd Squad connoisseur for over 9 years running.

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Source

Surprise is a simple Cloudsdale mare. To make ends meet, she is hired by ponies to perform stunts for them at parties. Nothing grandiose, really -- a few spins, flips, and loop-de-loops work wonders on a frowning face.

But as she returns home one evening, she bumps into a mare who sees promise in her, a mare who grants her a once-in-a-lifetime chance doing something she had only barely thought of before.


An entry into the 2024 Wonderbolts Sitewide Contest.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 3 )

This was a very fun story, and your Surprise was a joy to read.

I did notice a minor typo when Spitfire first arrived:

Surprise glanced up. A pony with yellow fur and a mane and tile of fiery orange was descending, steadily flapping her wings as she fixed her with a smirk.

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Thank you! And thank you for catching the typo; fixing now.

I also don't know enough about the military to know if "captain takes potential recruit in and personally mentors them" is an actual thing that happens (and no, Googling didn't bring up anything), but feel free to throw the book at me

I have seen Sergeants and Lieutenants mentoring recruits, but given this is essentially-egalitarian Equestria, it is believable for a Captain to recruit and mentor a newbie. :twilightsmile: Nothing wrong with the concept.

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