An unexpected turn of events have lead to Discord's freedom, but his plans are turned asunder when Twilight Sparkle accidentally badly injures him.
Vulnerable and weak, the spirit is taken in under the ever watchful, gentle and concerned eyes of Fluttershy. Through this time of healing, the pegasus discovers that there's more to this miscreant than meets the eye, and she's determined to prove it.
Through this process dark secrets are revealed, pain is revealed, and gradually a hidden side never seen of the draconequus, and Fluttershy struggles to push him and past friends back together.
Will she ultimately have an effect on his indifferent heart or this only another one of his dastardly plans?
R&R
(So far there are already ten written chapters. If this story gets good reception I'll upload them all and continue to update. If you're impatient, all chapters can be found on my deviantart account at cryssy-miu.deviantart.com There is also a ton of art on my account too, which includes the story's preview image~)
Yay~
All the yay~s
ALL OF THEM
Discord stories are my favorite, mostly because there are literally no limits, you can go anywhere with them!
And this one looks great
tracked and voted up good sir/madam! Keep up teh good work!
(Also, the reason he got out was as awesome as you thought it was.)
Yeah, please upload the other chapters. This is pretty good.
WELCOME TO FIM FICTION!
288659 THANKS, DEAR! Still getting the hang of this...
This is good. This is damn good. I do, however, have a few complaints:
First, why do you label Discord as a chimera? I can understand the comparison, as they share similar body parts, but a simple Google image search returns portrayals far from what Discord actually is.
Second, paranthesized (is that even a word?) phrases shouldn't be separated to be their own sentence (a simple syntax error, but it makes the reading a bit easier on the eyes if it's fixed).
Lastly, though few and far between, there some grammatical errors, though not enough to detract from the reading experience.
Now, for the praise. I absolutely love this so far. Your prose is superb, and you easily capture the characterizations of the cast. The dialogue flows naturally, and fits each situation accordingly; and, you have great explanations for how certain events arose in this fic.
Tracked, thumbed, etc. Keep up the great work!
Cheers,
teraoptic
(also, apologies if I have any errors in this comment - I'm typing this on the go on my ipod)
Where is the "make canon "button when ya need it
288761Oh I do believe this chapter is the only one where he's really labeled a chimera, and the previous ones. For the most part in the next one it's "spirit, draconequus, entity". but he is a chimera really, and I've seen it in a few fics~ A chimera: "Any mythical animal with parts taken from various animals."
Er, as for the parenthesis thing, could you elaborate? I'm afraid I don't understand. ^^;
I have a bad eye for grammar errors. Usually I get really good in grammar, but I always seen to have at least two or three in each chapter. I can never seem to pick them all out so if you could direct me to a few it would deeply appreciated~
And thank you so much! I was nervous of posting it on here, but I got enough people on DA and FF telling me to, and even some recommending me to EQD! Ha, however, this story has actually been on here since December. I was sad I got NO reviews or tracking and that's when I'm like "wait...submit button? What's that do? ..............Ohhhh..."
288767 Oh, u flatterer
288848
Haha no problem, you deserve the praise!
As for the parantheses thing, you said "... see the element of compassion doing such a thing. (Although he could see Rainbow Dash doing it.)"
What I meant is that it would be easier on the eyes if it were '... see the element of compassion doing such a thing (although he could see Rainbow Dash doing it).'
Then again, I might just be a picky grouch
As I said, there are VERY few grammatical errors (thinking back on it, they're better classified as syntax errors). Going back through and skimming the second and third parts however, here's what I found:
1) "dracraconequus" rather than draconequus
2) "matter-a-factly" rather than matter-of-factly
And
3) "theEelement"
There are probably other, more minor, errors, but these are the ones that stuck out the most.
Do you have a prereader? Normally, an extra pair of eyes can pick up errors since these eyes don't belong to the author.
If not, you could always ask someone to take a look at your writing before you submit, whether IRL or via the internet (hint hint).
Cheers,
teraoptic
288978 Oh, the parentheses, I see now! Thanks you, I will remember that when I'm editing and such! Oh, yikes, didn't even see that "dracranequus". That's just atrocious. XD I'll remember the brackets part~ "TheEelement"..I actually made a mistake like that? XD Geez. *roams back*
Hm, no, I don't usually have a pre-reader. I USUALLY do a good job myself, but I may consider that. Or should I say I may consider you. XD
289005
Hehe, I would be honored if you considered me as a candidate for that position. Just message me if you think I would do well.
FINALLY.
Jeez.
Now, get on the truly new chapters so I have motivation to track :P.
<3,
CF
289843 HEY NOW. HEY. It's been on here since December, I just.....never knew it had to be "submitted" I just clicked publish. XD
Well hmmmph! XD You know how they already turn out. Why need motivation~?
289853
I mean updates after the point I've read to, my dear :P.
Haha; I updated today, and I hadn't done it in so long that I forgot HOW to publish. ...that was embarrassing.
289881WAITAMINUTE YOU UPDATED? *runs*
289907
LOL ya. Only on here; only place I'm good at formatting nowadays :P. Enjoy XD
289931Don't care where as long as I can read and LUV it! *reading*
You can't make Discord too silly. No one can. He's Discord, he fits all roles.
290577 Ha, yep! XD He'd always be crazy and kooky and playful~
290624 Or extremely serious. We might never be able to tell.
Hot damn, you are pumping these out like a boss. Keep it up.
We need Discord emotes.
290744 Haha, that's because there's already ten pre-written :D
I agreeeee
Yow, here's one of my pet peeves. Mistakes in archaic grammar.
The Princess will be thrilled to see thou? Ack! It should be thee! "Thou" is always the subject of a sentence, while "thee" is an object.
While I'm on the subject, "thy" is the possessive pronoun. And the archaic second-person singular conjugation ends in -st, as in the line above the one I referenced before: "Dost thou wish to have an audience?"
Regardless of the errors that thou hast made, albeit unknowing, we are pleased with this thy narrative, and give thee kudos.
291677WHOOPS~! Thank you! *scrambles to change*
292029 Here's another you missed.
"Dost thou wish to have an audience with the princess?" ("Wishest thou" would also be acceptable, or "Desirest thou an audience...")
I'll catch any others that come along. I'm glad you're a sport about it. I've spent a great deal of time in Shakespeare and the Bible, so it catches my eye.
292535 Pf-ha! XD Well, not going to go "YOU HORRIBLE B----, HOW DARE YOU CORRECT MY MISTAKES SO I CAN IMPROVE!" But to think I used to be like that when I was younger. Well, we all were at some point.
You know it's funny, I spent a lot of time in Shakespere too, but, uh, archaic language always gets me.
But I noticed that the royal Canterlot speaking's only Shakesperian language is really the "thou" and "thee" and "thy" and such..and screaming. XD They don't really phrase it differently. Like, with Luna "The princess of the night hath arrived!" or "very well then, be that way. We won't even bother with the traditional royal good bye."
First! Bwahahaha!
EDIT: Real comment ahead.
It's so funny to see Fluttershy learn how to deal with our favourite Draconequus. She can't quite match him for strength, but she makes up for it in creativity. She got the dishcloth back without breaking a sweat!
Luna's going to be taking his presence awfully hard, isn't she. Even more so because her Tragic Backstory gives him so much ammunition.
Wouldn't something as integral to History as the Princess' Family Records be part of the main collection? Why is it languishing behind the other books on the archive shelf?
297765 HAHA, nope didn't break a sweat, just Discord's valor at that little butterfly kiss. XD Probably not something he's used to.
Ohhhh yes. Very much so. In fact, she develops a fear of him. :(
In the beginning I think it was on the main shelf, but it was probably too painful for Celestia to keep it there so she shoved it behind a bunch of books nearly never read.
You should seriously stop making Discord such a damn pussy. I doubt he would just put on a damn leash. He is the damn spirit of disharmony. I also highly dislike them giving him damn time outs and such baby things. It ruins the fic to damn much for me.
299997Excuse me, first of all he hardly has magic, any attempt to fight back could be reported to Celestia and the babyish punishments are meant for comedy, nothing more. What else is Fluttershy supposed to do to him? And if it ruins it for you simply don't read. Half this stuff is done for the sake of comedy because the main plot and a lot of it is going to get dark.
300729
I do want to continue reading this, because its very well written, but there are just these things that bug me like crazy.
Sorry, I was to harsh. Can you please forgive me?
301773Much apologies that I seemed to go off the bitchy meter too, was having a bad night. X_X
Ha, yes, you're forgiven~ And you'll be happy to know that in chapter eleven he gets revenge on Applejack when she majorly degrades him in chapter ten. *snicker* He's just gotta be careful, cause anything bad he'd do to the ponies could easily be reported and then he'd be put away for good. And, I mean it's Fluttershy..XD If you've seen "Dragonshy" and "Stare Master", she scolded both the DRAGON and cockatrice like they're kids, so I could DEFINITELY see her trying to wrangle the spirit of disharmony in a childish way. XD (He probably found the timeout amusing and messed with the room while he was in there. XD)
soul purpose should be sole. Just caught that while reading :)
Edit: "will never die unless" is double negative, so it says that they will die if they do, and "bee" following that.
I like the length of this chapter, and yes, I absolutely love dislestia relationship dynamics, it reminds me of Alucard and Integra from Hellsing. Playful and taunting, but chilling to the core if you think about it too much.
Nah, I like the level of sillyness. I like to think of Discord as rather silly when he isn't being destructive. More impish glee than Q killing spree.
I just read all eight chapters, and I have to say, I really like this! The moments between the Princesses, and Twilight are so heart warming
Only to be ruined by Discord.
None the less, I still love Discord, mostly because his attitude is much like mine. Although, there should be more interaction between the Mane Six, and Discord; kinda like in the first chapter. Overall, this story is extremely entertaining to read, and I can't wait until the next chapter!
310791 Oh thank you! :D Yep, he ruins a lot of moments, but that's Discord for you.
Believe me, after chapter eight there's a whole chapter dedicated to each of the mane six and their time looking after Discord when Fluttershy is out. XD
310798 That sounds exactly like what I was hoping for!
I can't wait!
310814 The one with Applejack looking after him is hysterical because she doesn't tolerate his pranks at all. XD And he keeps trying to turn Apple Bloom against her.
Well this is well-written and you ideas are excellent but I do have one thing to say:
You seem to gravely underestimate Discord's power. Although I expect him to be hurt like every other existing being, him being hurt by Twilight seems extremely unlikely for me but heh good story anyway.
312262 Well see, it's explained deeper in the story that what Twilight cast is a spell from the black magic spell book "Alicorn's Power" Its spells are far too strong for a normal pony to handle and in the past when Discord attempted to use its power tragic things occurred. (But it'll spoil if I say what)
And when the black magic from those spells go out of control then there's no hope. Their power is probably the strongest next to the Elements and only Luna and Celestia know how to handle it. If the spell is perfected when the user isn't calm then it would have the potential to kill Discord, possibly Celestia and possible Luna if it happened to them. It's called the forbidden spell book for a reason~
If Twilight had used any other spell on him Discord could easily stop it with the wave of a finger.
But I'm glad you're enjoying the story!
"Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that my little horn has the power to kill the spirit of disharmony. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."
I don't know why, but that's funny.
For the love of everything fictional, PLEASE keep writing!
now that that is out of the way.
I am so conflicted about this story, it is just so well played out. I dont know whether I want to feel hope for Fluttershy or be scared for her well-being. I dont know if I wish Cellestia and Discord would make up or would have a confrontation. and I dont even know what I think about Luna right now.
all I do know is I love this entire fiction.
Favorited and I will be checking up frequently to read the next chapters.
Hey there! I just discovered this story today, and wanted to let you know it's been a joy to read. Sometimes "character nursing enemy back to health" fiction can get a bit contrived, but I honestly think you've pulled it off well, and have kept very true to the characters! I can't wait to see the additional layers you add to the relationships between Celestia, Discord, and Luna. I was so excited I found this on the day there was an update too, ha.
And oh my, poor Fluttershy. I hope she doesn't have a broken heart after all this is over.
Yay! So happy for an update, so sad for its content
Why must it all be so saaaad 
But yes, excellent chapter. Did Celestia use her powers to try and bring him back, or was that basic CPR?
When you said "old married couple" my mind instantly starting piecing together a story idea: an alternate origin story about Discord.
they are an old married couple! :P
Discord was originally an Alicorn and married to Celestia, then simply add in the generic "scientist experiments on himself and accidentally turns himself into a monster" plot line. They try to find the cure, but eventually his mind is corrupted and he becomes, finally, Discord: spirit of disharmony.
So, in fact, they are arguing exactly like an old married couple because
...
SOMEONE WRITE IT! ._.
I'm too lazy. :/
---
And Teraoptic, Discord is a Chimera. The generic, lion-headed one we most often see is simply the most common seen (because it's what the Chimera in Greek mythology looked like).
Merriam-Webster Dictionary - Chimera - 1b: an imaginary monster compounded of incongruous parts
Long chapters are best! I personally love 10k+ word chapters the most (not that this chapter was, I think, but I'm just mentioning how much I like long chapters).
Discord is best pony... Eeyup
Heh, a pie to the face seems about right for retribution. With ice cream and a note that says "revenge is a dish best served cold."
"And we must throw apples at the one called Discord."
I lost it laughing. She would order that too
Annnnd mood whiplash. Ouch, thats going to take a lot of explaining to not go poorly :(