On the way home from school, a young filly uses magic to change her surroundings.
Up until she gets home, where the magic unfortunately runs out.
An entry into the third Thousand Words Contest, in the Horror category.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 3rd Nov, 2019
- offline last seen 4 hours ago
marmalado
Lives for platonic Pinkie/Fluttershy fluff. Proud Odd Squad connoisseur for over 9 years running. Master of playing Seven Degrees of Kevin Bacon.
marmalado
Joined 3rd Nov, 2019 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- BlueBastard · 185k words · 377 9 · 6.2k views
- ShadowWalking18 · 1.4k words · 181 7 · 5.6k views
- moonbutters · 1.7k words · 330 18 · 4.7k views
- ocalhoun · 10k words · 237 13 · 5.8k views
- 2wingo · 5.4k words · 159 9 · 7k views
- Waxworks · 6k words · 48 0 · 1.2k views
- TwiRaptor · 23k words · 91 4 · 1.7k views
Featured In6
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.133 seconds
Total duration
775 users online
944,993 hits today, 1,567,491 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Ah yes, abuse.
This is weird... Nothing horrible seems to happen.
Then the mare clacked at her, and the story ended.
11935749
Joking: Blud cannot see the build up to the end nor the implications of what happens afterwards :laughing_emoji:
Serious: so, basically, the filly is being abused and it is hinted that she's dissociating by imagining that she has the power to make things stop existing, up until the power is actually needed, that is, when her parent comes to beat her
11935980
I still say this is weird, because the horror isn't felt, as nothing horrible seems to happen. The power of the click sets up the atmosphere, but what you say happens afterwards isn't told, it isn't even shown. For all we know your guess is as good, as mine.
11936693
half-joking: blud's ability to form a prediction based on given information got fanum-taxed a long time ago 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
serious: There are many references to the filly disliking arguing adults and children disliking arguing adults is usually because of a bad home life, which makes it pretty clear to the reader that something's wrong. The last few lines make it clear that the filly is scared of what we can assume to be her mother, and that her trying to click her out of existence gets her in a lot of trouble, like a beating.
However, since we aren't explicitly told what exactly happens, we are left to wonder and that's where the horror comes from — knowing something bad happens but not knowing how bad exactly, which makes your mind think about what might happen.
11936693
Sometimes, the best horror is the one that isn't obvious. Different strokes for different folks, but for me, the more subtle the horror is, the better. Bonus if you drop lil' clues in the story!
11936741
I see... In that case there is such a thing, as "overdone subtlety". I should suggest re-affirming the readers, if they guess correctly, because the readers are an insecure bunch. I should know: I am a reader myself, after all.
11936713
Whence is such a conclusion
? I thought no one disliked over-the-top arguing, no matter their home life 
.
Why would a filly be scared of her own mother
? One's mother is the nearest and dearest thing! So "mother" is not the first thing to assume.
But no trouble happened, it ended before anything happened, and there was nothing to anticipate. Someone entered, and she seemed a regular pony. If it had been some abomination living in the house, we'd have something to anticipate, but it seemed pretty regular, promising more later and never delivering.
I wonder, why you'd assume beating, because that's not the first thing people assume
...
That is the thing: I wasn't sure something bad was happening, because there was no reason to assume that. I was expecting wrong things, but they were not revealed, leaving me stranded. I felt the story would reveal more later -- but it ended! Hence my confusion.
Pretty similar to The Twilight Zone episode "It's a Good Life" where Anthony (Bill Mumy) banishes people he doesn't like to "the cornfield".
11937508
It's called 'child abuse'. Look it up.
11942952
!.. When we look at what we have, we see a picture that is far more promising, than yours! There is no need to assume unpleasantry.
That's a horrible thing to assume