DEAD OR ALIVE
Chapter 3: No Disintegrations
By: Rust
Hyperspace, aboard the Slave I, destination unknown, current course unknown...
The gentle whine of the hyperdrive was a soothing sound for Boba Fett. Its presence meant he was moving, and at a pretty damn good rate at that. It meant that he was making progress. It sounded like accomplishment. Boba like to think he had accomplished something at the end of the day other than be the stuff of nightmares for every fugitive, rebel, and VIP from Tatooine to Tython.
Out of his armor, now, Boba allowed himself to partially relax. It could be said that the bounty hunter never truly let his guard down, and there was truth to this. His muscles were always somewhat tensed, like coiled springs ready to release. This twitchiness had saved his life on more than one occasion.
With the autopilot on, and the destination from Vader's instructions safely programmed, Boba took the time to hit the shower stall. The recycled water aboard the Slave I always carried a sort of metallic scent to it. He tried not to think about his own contributions to the supply as he let it spill over his shoulders.
Boba stretched, examining himself for any wear and tear that the life of a bounty hunter tended to risk. He was of average height for a human, but well-muscled like his father, with tannish-red skin, scarred here and there by all manner of blaster bolts, vibroblades, and fangs. Steely brown eyes gazed stoically back from under a wet, shaggy mop of jet-black hair that topped his head, tinged gray around the sides. Aside from the crags barely deepening in his stony, chiseled face, it was the only sign of him aging at all.
Boba had to hand it to the Kaminoans. They really knew how to build a body.
With that notion, he snorted and leaned against the wall, rubbing his face with wet hands for a moment, as if washing away his thoughts.
He still couldn't really believe it, even now.
It was too good to be true, of course.
Trust no-one. His father was right. He was always right.
And yet...here he was. Quite possibly about to begin the first step in a long climb to the top of the ziggurat, where the Empire would be waiting with a sacrificial knife, a taste for blood, and a one-way trip back to the ground.
He rubbed his temples. The risk was high, of course. He was used to that. He was a bounty hunter; death was an occupational hazard. But the reward...oh, the reward. It was so, so much higher. The stakes were utterly ridiculous, even for his exorbitant prices.
Boba thought back to that day, two weeks ago by now, when he had answered the summons of a Sith Lord and gotten the offer of a lifetime.
An offer that would either make him...
...or break him.
Liliat Sector, Tantalus System, aboard the Executor-class Star Dreadnought Executor, deep space...
The Emperor's personal chambers were sumptuous, to say the least. Aboard the city-sized cruiser, many of the Empire's elite had invested in rather ostentatious --not to mention out of line with protocol-- living quarters. After all, they'd be spending much of their time here in service to the Emperor, why not do it in style?
The Emperor himself was not aboard the Executor, at the moment. The popular rumor with the crew was that he'd gone off to oversee the construction of some goliath new superweapon, thought to be a spacer's worst nightmare. The darkest whisperings hinted at the possibility of a planet killer, though such suspicions were likely far-fetched.
A deep, steady, mechanical wheezing emanating from the fearsome man standing where the Emperor should have been.
Instead of Palpatine, none other than Darth Vader himself stood by the throne when Boba was ushered in by two of the crimson-armored Imperial Guard. The Dark Lord of the Sith looked particularly menacing as he waited on the raised dais, almost seven feet of shining black metal, capped with the imposing full helmet that had become the symbol of fear and oppression throughout the Empire. He radiated with power, a palpable tingle that filled bystanders with simultaneous feelings of dread and awe.
Then again, this was a normal impression to get from Vader.
Boba Fett found himself halted in front of the dais, the two guards flanking him on either side. The bounty hunter had been permitted to keep his weapons, a policy almost unheard-of for the tight security of the ship.
Darth Vader stomped down the steps and all but crushed the button to the holoprojector, launching straight into the details. If there was any one thing that Boba could say he liked about the Dark Lord, it was that he never, ever minced words. Given the many jobs he'd worked for (and occasionally against) Vader, Boba had racked up an impressive history with the Sith.
Vader's altered voice filled the room with a breathy baritone. "Ten days ago, Imperial probes sent to the farthest reaches of the Outer Rim made a discovery." A shimmering blue orb suddenly sprang into being in the center of the room. Boba could make out landmasses, cloud formations, even an ice cap, as the hologram slowly rotated before them.
"A new planet, formerly unknown," announced the hulking cyborg. "Inhabited by intelligent, sapient life. They have a low level of technological advancement, a peaceful culture, and are not yet a spacefaring species. The Emperor has decided that this new world, especially the populace, will be a valuable asset to the Empire."
The view on the planet zoomed in to a specific point on the largest continent, which appeared to be a city of spiraling towers built right into the side of a mountain. "This is where you come in, bounty hunter. Your mission is to abduct the acting ruler, and deliver them to me." A trio of pictures popped up, containing somewhat blurry images of the target.
It was like nothing he'd ever seen before. A brilliant white, it was of a tall, slender, four-legged disposition, sporting a pair of enormous, feathery wings and a spiraling horn jutting from the forehead. It was vaguely equine, though the graceful face was more compact, with a much shorter snout and large, intelligent eyes. A ethereal substance made up the mane and tail, and looked as if someone had caught the primary colors of a beam of sunlight and warped them into a physical presence.
He tore his eyes away from the images. "How much?" he asked gruffly.
"You will receive a commission of ten million credits, and ninety more upon completion."
At first, he thought Vader must have been joking. One hundred million credits. Enough money to purchase a small star system, let alone an entire fleet! No. This was too good to be true. Nobody was stupid enough to offer that much for a simple snatch-and-grab. Boba didn't really care why he was doing it, he didn't get paid to ask questions, after all, but he needed to know the terms before the contract was signed. All the terms.
"What's the catch?"
Vader took a moment before responding. "The inhabitants of the planet are highly Force-sensitive. It is as if the Force is a literal part of them. Several of our scanners were overloaded simply by proximity. It will not be easy to take the ruler if they have any knowledge of how to use their power. There can be no killing," Vader added firmly. "No disintegrations. We need the target alive this time, and delivered as discreetly as possible."
Boba was no stranger to the power of the Force. His own father, who had been even more accomplished of a bounty hunter, had been easily slain by Mace Windu, a Jedi Master, during the opening battle of the Clone Wars. Jango Fett had often told his adoptive son about the perils of facing such a foe. Darth Vader was a Sith, who used the Dark Side of the Force just as effectively, if not more so, than any Jedi. He didn't pretend to understand the strange power, and he'd never masked his disdain for those who used it. And now an entire species of the damned sorcerers had been discovered!
His hatred for the mysterious power warred with his desire for glory, to establish a legacy to make his father proud. In the end, the ambition won out. The payoff was not really in credits, but in legend. Pull this job off, and he'd go down in history as the greatest bounty hunter of all time. The one who faced an entire world of powerful Force-wielders and walked away with their leader.
The money was just a bonus, really.
"I'll do it," he finally said. "And when I come back, I'll be paid double." Might as well go for broke. He leaned in towards Vader. "And the next time you want my help, it'll cost you triple." He offered a hand to the towering figure. "Do we have a deal?"
Vader met his armored gauntlet with one of his own, swallowing Boba's hand in a painful, crushing grip. The two masked men stared each other down, neither backing down an inch.
"We do."
It was hard not to stare as the ship slipped out of hyperspace. Out of the nothingness, a planet sprang up, instantly growing from the size of a pinhead until it filled half the cockpit view. Boba allowed himself a small whistle. He wasn't a man to take inklings for the finer things in life, but he could appreciate beauty when he saw it.
And the world was beautiful indeed. Forests and plains, greener than those of Naboo, streaked across the surface. Might mountains reared their heads, tearing through the clouds in some places. Small, clear oceans separated the landmasses kissing the ice of the poles and the sands of the tropics alike.
It struck him deeply sometimes, how impossibly vast the galaxy was. The oldest spacers though they'd seen it all, but there was always something new to be discovered where nobody had dared to go before. Out here was no exception, the farthest he'd (or anyone else, come to think of it) ever been from the Core Worlds.
The sensors bleeped spasmodically. He pressed a few buttons, and the ship spat out some data.
He eyed the planet warily.
"No orbit?" he growled. A few more buttons were pushed, this time with a little more force. He glared at these as they flashed across the cockpit. The information they spewed was utterly inconceivable.
Apparently, the local star was the one orbiting the planet and its small moon. A star with only... he had to do a double-take. The star held less mass than the planet. Smaller in diameter, too. Much smaller. Both the moon and the sun held a perfect orbit around this confounding hunk of rock. How was that even possible? Stars needed a critical mass before the nuclear fires within began brewing. Everything about this was wrong -- it violated scientific laws like Boba violated the brain cavities of his foes.
And yet, there it was. A planet where it shouldn't exist, in a system that defied reasoning. An impossibility made real.
He scowled. The Force had a hand in this, he just knew.
The cockpit chair swiveled around as Boba adjusted the Slave I's scanners for a more close-up view, before igniting the thrusters with an intent to cautiously enter orbit around the planet. As he circled the strange world from high above, the bright hues of the day gave way to the ebony richness of night. Here and there, a few pinpricks of light shown out on the continents. He focused the scanners on the largest one.
It was a city, that much he could make out. Apparently, the naitives were intelligent enough to have a civilization. It was very close to a nearby mountain, almost on top of it. With nothing to guess about the culture of the life-forms below, he went with the usual spacer's rule of thumb when negotiating landings on unknown worlds; the brightest of lights house the highest of life. There was a good chance that was the planet capital, or at least the capital of a country. Either way, that was his destination.
Somewhere far, far below, his target lay blissfully unaware.
And he wouldn't have it any other way...
A few things before you take on the most ball-dropping, spontaneous-beard-growing, lumberjack-punching-Santa-in-the-face-ing story on FIMfiction:
Firstly, let me just say that by no means am I an uber Star Wars follower. I love it, yes, but my entire knowledge pool of this universe consists from watching all the movies, reading one or two books, and from playing The Force Unleashed I and II. Everything else is complete guesswork. If you consider yourself a lore-buff of this world, don't be hesitant in calling me out if I get things wrong. The entire premise of this fic was established during a drunken conversation with a friend of mine about Star Wars (WTF Disney recently purchased the rights to the series) and how a certain bounty hunter could have used a little more fleshing out. A challenge ensued and, if you know me, I never back down from keeping my side of a bargain, even if its a drunken bet
Secondly, this will not be regularly updated, as it has been a idea kicking around in the old noggin that just had to be let out. Deal with it.
Thirdly, and most importantly, a big thanks for my pet cat, Mischa, who edits and proofreads the fucking thing. No, I'm not just being serious about this. I'm being super serial.
Fourthly, this is a fic about Boba Fett. So stop skimming the comments and read it before your lack of interest in the coolest figure of sci-fi history grants me the right to insult your obviously poor sense of taste that you undoubtedly inherited from your mother. Unless of course she digs Star Wars, and then I'll just kick you or something like that.
Have a motherfucking day,
~Rust
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This... is wonderful.
Boba motherfucking Fett? All of my yes!
Huge Star Wars fan and lore geek, looking forward to reading this.
Finally, the man releases it!
Boba Fett and ponies... my dear.
Added to my other 170 read laters, will get there when I can...
Boba Fett?
The quiet badass?
All the favorites.
I wonder what the future may hold. This perhaps?
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I am heavily intrigued. Continue
Alright, I'm gunna follow this story... it's good so far
Fantastic!
1971021 DAFUQ
Wooo, new Rust fic. And a doozy, too!
I had to double take when I saw this shit.
Boba Fett?! BOBA FETT?!
COMBINED WITH PONY?!
Oh my god, I don't think you know just what an overdose of awesome you fed this site. It's probably going to die now when its heart starts pounding twenty-five beats per second while listening to speed metal and then starts break-dancing (and then breaks).
But yeah, has my read.
Perhaps this will fill the void.
The void of Star Wars in my soul.
Ok, you asked for tips, here's one; The Executor is a Super class star Destoryer.
1970822 Sweet :3
Uh... you might want a lot of help, and you should take NOTHING from 'The Force Unleashed'. It's a bad, bad representation of the 'verse.
ALL OF MY YES, SIR, ALL OF IT!!!!
1971733
We''ll see. Mwa hahahahahahahaaa....
1971753 Oh, just imagine if he runs into Luna first.
1970822
Pfft, casual.
I kid, I'll nitpick later.
The Hunt - Sepultura
Boba Fett? Ponies? Hold on, I need to go get a towel.
I wonder if the Mane Six are going to have to use the Elements of Harmony on Fett....
Huh, I'm not much of a Star Wars fan but I do believe Fett was that badass guy with the silly death scene. Either way, if Celestia loses I'll cry and if Fett loses I'll cry.
Hmm, normaly I avoid this kind of fic, but, you're Rust, reading now.
....I'm calling it. Boba Fett is gonna kill somepony.
1972334
The bulk of this story isn't even meant to take place on Equestria. It's a big galaxy out there, mate.
Not updated regularly? My life has lost a little meaning...
But my patience will prevail!
"Defeating a sandwich... only makes it tastier!" - Virginia
Boba: Put Princess Celestia in the cargo hold.
Also, this ship is garanteed to be so awesome I won't even care if it starts shipping Twilight with Boba
Eeyup, that sums up the common fan interpretation of the Equus System quite well.
This is relevant to my interests. I will definately be tracking this.
He's lucky there isn't a bloody demon at its centre.
Continue
I was actually making a story like this.
Except with Jango instead of Boba.
1973282
What? Timothy Zawn's trilogy had anti-force stuff out the wazoo. I think some of the games had creatures that did it.
Frankly if he didn't have access to such an object the story would be pointless; there's no way in hell he could capture Celestia without some way to stop her from using magic.
1973282
I agree with everything, except one point. Slave 1 had a contraband cell specifically built to contain force-wielding individuals. He can contain them, providing he has the preparation and time to get them into cell. On that same token, it is only one cell.
I just think if Vader wanted to kill off an entire planet full of "force-wielders," all he'd need to do is backtrack to the Maw installation, chat with Qwi Xux, and get the tech for those resonance torpedoes. Sure, it'd kill everything, but that is by far the smarter move than pissing off a plant of force sensitives and Celestia herself.
The story certainly seems on par with your other stories so far. Please keep up the fantastic writing!
1973546 What are they gonna do? Fly into Outer Space? The Empire could nuke them from orbit if the wanted to.
1973721
Twilight alone has the power to reverse gravity, traverse time, and teleport over freakishly long distances (A technology the Empire does not have and would kill for). Orbital bombardment will not do jack with magic; their barriers double as ray and material shields (energy and physical weapon shielding). Or maybe they can just reverse the gravity of orbital shelling, returning it to the ships they fired from.
Or Celestia could make the sun cross the heavens earlier and faster than usual, scorching the shit out of an entire armada if they're not sucked in the gravity well. Honestly, the only weapon capable of killing the ponies effectively is the Sun Crusher, if you take what was seen in the show at face value. Yeah, ponies don' t give two bits about the aliens other than scientific curiosity or mutual learning, but if you invade or attack them, you're screwed.
1973465 well we don't exactly know if Celestia can do anything she wants with magic. we know that she can do things like raise the sun and that's really the most powerful thing she can do with her magic. but look at all the time celestia couldn't win her own battles. in fact she is pretty much powerless to all of her enemies in the show, unless she is using the elements of harmony.
1971453 Executor-class Star Dreadnaught, if you wanna get technical.
1973751 Good point. Better just send a planet's worth of Rancors then. If they can't fight off a Hydra, I doubt they'd be able to get violent with THAT MANY Rancors. Fluttershy would not be able to keep up. It would be glorious. But, then DC would pop up and they'd discover some special spell to make the Rancors their friends and the Empire will just get so frustrated that Palpatine will facepalm himself, tearing a hole in space and time and sucking his whole fleet into Oblivion. Leaving only Equus behind.
1973765
Likely their best bet would be to shell the planet with Ssi-ruu neuro toxin. I'm not sure that would stun Celestia, but it's possible. If you really wanted to piss her off, plant a World Devestator on the planet, but then that would leave a demigod with the power to move the sun still loose, which is why 1973753 is wrong when considering her a threat. Starships require careful calculations when going to hyperspace, such as knowing the exact locations of stars. If a pissed off goddess knows you're coming out of warp, all she needs to do is move the sun and it changes the entire gravitational constant of the solar system. You don't move the goddamn sun toward your planet when your enemy is on the same planet you are on. She has a lot of power, but it is still limited in its uses, that's why she lost to cheese legs.
If she moves the sun, the ships coming out of warp will be sucked into the sun and die. Whenever she so much as thinks she's going to be attacked by the Empire, all she needs to do is move the sun like a Viking wielding a celestial-sized ball and chain. Try firing those turbolasers when your spine is melting in 10,000,000,000 degree heat.
Boba Fett and ponies...FUCK YEAH!
Question: you have read the Wookiepedia article on Boba Fett, right? He's already a fairly fleshed out character with 70 years of history and exploits.
1973812 That is the most metal thing I have ever read in my life.
1972265
Yep that's the one however he really didn't die the Sarlacc spit him back out twice! (He got thrown in a second time)
Boba is a super badass!
1973282
According to the Star Wars 'Essential guide to weapons and technology' book, page 150, the empire used something called the 'universal energy cage' to disable a jedi knight's force powers. yeah, i own the guidebooks, i'm a geek, whetever.
1973812 Actually, their best bet would be a Sun Crusher.