It's a harsh world that we live in, full of dastardly deeds and villainous villains. It's like a kitchen floor, splattered with so much syrup that the tile is naught but a disgusting heap of caramelizing sugar. This is where I come in. My job is to clean up the messes that ponies leave behind. I am the wet mop, rubbing against the tile to restore it back to it's former luster. I am, in simplistic terms, the janitor of Equestria.
I am Pinkie Pie.
Damn son, Imma read the shit out of this.
Ooh, nice. Are we going to see Pinkie being Pinkie here, or is it an alternate thing where Pinkie is all smooth and suave instead?
Either way, I like the noir feel. Veddy nice.
Well now isn't that interesting. Looks there's more here we don't know yet.