• Member Since 9th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 3rd, 2017

Demon Eyes Laharl


Writer. What else do you need to know?

Comments ( 112 )

Time to be "that guy" FIRST!
This has given me an insight and ideas for my story. Richard turns up to wedding in a condition like Watson did on his wedding day. It turns out he and a female officer of the Griffon kingdom had a duel.

2087773

:rainbowlaugh:

Huh. That was a pretty fast approval.

2087801
:twilightsmile: It's good.This has given me an insight and ideas for my story. Richard turns up to wedding in a condition like Watson did on his wedding day. It turns out he and a female officer of the Griffon kingdom had a duel.
If a griffon got into a fight ( a formal duel) with a human and the human was able to hold his own, would that lead to her possibly forming feelings for him?

Oh. God.

Yes. Yes please.

2087819

Honestly, it would lead to respect first. Maybe friendship.

2087826

:twilightblush: I hope that was a compliment.

2087831
What I meant to say was: why don't more people write romantic fics the way you do? They're so brilliantly polished and realistic that it seems they could actually happen.

2087828
That's what I meant to write. I image she'd rethink her position and become more respectful and then over time they become friends and later she comes to love him.

2087838

:pinkiehappy: Thanks. Honestly... I thank my proofreaders and editors for the polish. It really helps the story shine.

2087841

Well, showing you are strong is a good way to start, but it also has to be more ingrained, especially if your female griffin grew up in the Kingdom. Gilda grew up in Equestria, so she's more open to inter-species relationship, and it also helped that Marco is showing productivity in the Kingdom that earns him brownie points.

2087845
Yeah, Richard manages to attract the attention of someone who grew up in the kingdom, so has minimal knowledge of other species. I need to research what type (if any) of CQC the RAF teaches its pilots. I know the RAF regiment "rock apes" would have some since they guard air bases.
He will later show his skills in the air, dispelling her belief that because he doesn't have wings, he's clumsy in the air.

2087863

Be careful. You have to do some exploration to sell this. So far, the ponies are painted that they are readily accepting of human and pony 'mixing' together because their culture ingrains them with 'Friendship'. Gilda grew up in Equestria, even if she didn't fully act like one of them, so it became a factor on how they became lovers.

A griffin raised in the Kingdom is going to be harder to accept another species as someone who's a bit xenophilic. Unless she specifically has that type of mindset.

2087891

I will, she'll be increasingly frustrated by niggling little things that she doesn't understand or like experiencing in connection with him.I don't want to give all away, but there's more to the scene I already have written part of than just the loss of someone she loved.

we'll i am still trying to figure out what you where nervous about, not in my line of taste and the wording's a bit casual at some places but it's still of great quality. x3

2088209

Well, ponies stay close to human practises. Griffins need to receive and give pain to rock their worlds. :twilightblush: That's what I was worried about.

2088253
does make sense,
A lot of sense really but i think you got it. I also like that you didn't make humans come off as push overs and what's better than a good fight scene?

2088276

Forgot to put "pain" on my last post. But basically, yeah

That was intense but well-written chapter. I'm glad you started to describe other cultures than Equestrian. There aren't many who try it and I'm positive it's first fics about griffins I've spotted. To say shortly good work.

This was deffinitly an entertaning side story. And interesting. There is more insight into the gryphons, and through the whole pain thing a look at their evolution. Plus it was just cute.
Speaking of the pain thing, when I usually read a romance with a male human with a feline anthro the author would say that it is more pleasuable without the barbs. Kudos to you for being unique in that sence.
I can see this continueing, and I hope it does. It could run along the main story for the parts where a love scene was not able to fit in. On that note, I wondeer how excited Gilda would get when Marco wins those little pre-love sparring matches.
Just one thing though. It is kinda small, but i is something that I noticed. Before the match Gilda put on some gloves. And yet she seems to be able to leave marks on the stone floor. Obvioulsy she took them off, but it seems like they where just magically removed since there was no mention of her doing so. Like I said, small, but something i did find kinda odd.

Good luck with all of your endeavors, and hope to read more soon.

Great story.

Though, if I was in this universe I personally would like Ponies better.

Griffons are too rough. XD

Sure, I'll be a Griffon's friend alright, but as a lover? As I said before they are too rough.

2088355

I blame the Changelings. And how Gilda was portrayed. World Building Alliance actually has its own sub-folder for griffins, but its nothing compared to the Changies. Thinking about it... Diamond Dogs, Dragons and even Zebras need love too.... :pinkiesad2:

2088394

Thanks for the spot. I modified a sentence where Gilda removes her gloves. Have a Mac. :eeyup:

As for the whole need of barbs, I'm not ashamed to say that Ingress beat me to it when it came to the griffin sex category. But I'm proud to say I definitely separated myself from it. Culture, biology, my aim was to keep something unique that wouldn't be similar to what we have for Ponies. I think I succeeded. Relatively. Feathered Heart ain't done, and we may see one or two more chapters here. :twilightsmile:

2088586

I know the feeling :twilightblush:. Having a relationship with a griffin seems to be a bit more dangerous than with Ponies. :rainbowlaugh:

:rainbowderp: Huh. FH: Preening is featured.

Thanks for the support guys! I really appreciate it! :pinkiehappy:

2088811
The other races really do nned more love. The world of Fim has more races then that of The Elder Scrolls series. We just need peopel to help build them up, since Hasbro, and the show won't.

Thanks for the Mac, but I am good with my Gateway.:rainbowlaugh:

You have deffinitly succeeded. Looking forward to the continuation.

2088811

I think you should make a Human (male Human) briefly mention about having a bad experience with an old Griffon girlfriend.

Like this: "Let's just say my old Griffon girlfriend was a little rough." shows scars (claw cuts) on back.

2088890

:rainbowlaugh:

"So, you want to date a griffin? Remember. When we say she's a tough chick or a wild cat, its not always a good thing. Always wear protection. ... what, condom? No, dude. Leather armor."

2088896

Oh man, you gotta use that line at some point in a fan fiction.

2088905

The leather armor bit is something Gilda would tell Marco in FH, near future. :rainbowlaugh: I really like that line and image.

2088907

That sounds good.

Regardless, I think many Humans (especially the non Chuck Norris/Arnold Schwarzenegger type) would be put off from dating Griffons from hearing how rough they are.

2088923

So... you're basically telling me you think Marco has brass ball bearings? :rainbowkiss: Sweet! xD

All jokes aside, dating a griffin may be a hard initial sell, but you'll most likely get a companion for life. But if not, there are Ponies. And if I do get to it, maybe Diamond Dogs. Or Zebras.

.... still wondering how to make the Dragon work. :rainbowhuh:

2088936

So... you're basically telling me you think Marco has brass ball bearings? Sweet! xD

Uh, yes.

All jokes aside, dating a griffin may be a hard initial sell, but you'll most likely get a companion for life.

I guess, but you'd have to be very strong to date them.

But if not, there are Ponies. And if I do get to it, maybe Diamond Dogs. Or Zebras.

Zebras more or less (well a bit diffident) just like Ponies.

Diamond Dogs, sure they are sapient, nothing wrong about that, it's just Xenophilia. There'd have to large group of friendly Diamond Dogs (friends with all the other races) who dislike the other slave driving/raider dogs.

.... still wondering how to make the Dragon work.

Resize/shrinking magic by a unicron friend/lover? That will fix how big Dragons are.

2088966

Just imagine all the rhyming in the bedroom. :twilightblush:




"You certainly perform
Now I am torn
You make me shiver
As you have me climax a river."


..... Okay, I think I'm overdoing it.

2088936
Probably wouldn't work so much for the dragons in the show. Too nomadic, wild, and driven by instinct. Now if there where a faction of dragons that where more tame, less instict driven, and actually settled in one spot it could work. Like say, how the dragons in The Legend Of Spyro are. Plus if these dragons were well versed in magic there is even more of a chance that such a pairing could work, becasue then there could exist a spell that shrinks them for prolong periods of time.
The only thing is that since they are dragons tghey will still have that stubbern pride of theirs. Plus they will most likly live in an entirely different continent.
Either way, I think showering a dragoness in gems, and other treasurs could help.

2088978

:twilightblush: Stop putting weird ideas in my head. xD

2088973

Crazy stuff. XD

I imagine the Westboro Baptist Church would go apeshit about Humans dating other species, despite the fact they are sapient, thus making it only Xenophilia.

Fred Phelps: 'You're all going to hell!

2088992
But weird ideas are fun. They are how some of the best stories start as.

2088993

:rainbowlaugh: In Gentleman for Mares, I did a very tame variety. A senator advising how Ponies were the devils, with their nakedness and whatnot. Also mentioned a speciesist Duchess. Commenters now plan to pair them up. :rainbowlaugh:

2089003

True, but I'ma bout to sleep. You put dragoness dreams in me, I'm gonna have a hard time concentrating on writing on G4Ms. XD

2088973
As funny as that is, the rhyming thing could just be a quirk of Zecora's. or a type of mental exercise. In one story the author used the rhyming as a tool that only zebra leader figures use. Supposed to be a mental excersie, and a way to make them think before speaking. I could link you to the story, and the specififc chapter if you are interested.

2089004
Only if you are (un)fourtunate enough to remember if you have such a dream.
Anyway, have a good night.

2089013

:rainbowwild: Aww, but I love the rhyming!

:pinkiesmile: Link it here.Species exploration is always fun. And hard. Definitely need more people interested in it.

2089019
Everyone loves the rhyming, but you got to admit, it is hard to come up with dialog for such a speech quirk.

Okay. The story is called Honor Above All Else, in the chapter Do I Feel In Charge. Here is thhe excact part,

“I rhyme in this manner; so that I become a better planner. My words must match; so my mouth is not an open hatch.” She nodded her head at me motioning at me to drink the liquid.

“You rhyme to think about what you say before you do?” I think I understood what she was saying, but it was always nice to clarify what she was saying. It was hard to understand her sometimes.

“That is correct; and to gain respect. Many zebra leaders make this choice; to gain a strong voice.” Zecora once again motioned for me to drink the red stuff in the bowl, resting in my hands.

That story, and the one before it are prety good in my opnion. If you are ever bored you should check them out.

2089049
Just come in here to see whats up and BAM talking about my shit. Love y'all

Very enjoyable. I'd like to read a story where a Gentleman and a Changeling were together. :pinkiehappy:

I can't wait for feathered heart and gentlemen to update. You have your self two of my favorite stories to update sir! I can't express how much i like your world building! :pinkiehappy:

It's kinda weird...
Not the writing! Gods no, that's awesome. :pinkiehappy:
I really like the way the characters interact and how well they know each other even though we don't. It makes me feel there is a great deal more to this world then what we are seeing.
What is weird is how you manage me to want to know as much of the backstory of these characters and especially the gryphons even while the story is progressing.
It seems they are so different mentally, biologically and culturally from humans that any interactions would result in conflict, both between individuals and the races as a whole.
And while we have seen some of that in Feathered Heart I can't help but to want more!
Excellent writing with an awesome plot (no joke intended). :scootangel:
Keep them coming. :moustache:

yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes. Ive been waiting for a story like this... for a long time

2089096

:rainbowlaugh:


2089436

While interesting, I can't really write 'just' clop. I tried in Feathered Heart, and that took another turn. If I were to get involved with Changelings, it needs to be part of a deeper story. Hopefully, it'll be some cultural exploration again. And that's honestly going to be hard because a lot of writers in FiMFiction have been working and writing about them.

2089996

:pinkiehappy: I'm glad you like the universe/world I'm building here.

2090205

:twilightsmile: Working on it.

2090293

If you're interested in Griffin and Human pairings, there's Ingress: Curiosity. For 'cleaner' stories, The Equestrian Trace by Wafflegodman

Stopped after human, because it really isn't my thing.

But I skimmed a few other parts just out of curiosity. I must say, you write pretty well. This is worthy of a feature, although I dislike the genre.

Great work.

2090847

Its okay. I understand that some people would rather leave FiM as it is, human-free. There's also the reputation of being a hotbed for Self inserts and all. :rainbowlaugh: I can't afford to do that while building the Gentlemanverse though, as its growing up to be, thematically, cultural exploration.

Thank you for your time to leave a comment, and thank you as well for your praise.

BTW, I read Discipline and Reward. I liked it. ^_^

Ouch, I forgot that tom cats have barbed members. No wonder gryphons are so violent by nature!

2090947

More violent than the ponies, yeah... though it also has to do with their history and economy. I'm hoping to explore these aspects in the main story.

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