Luna is once again wandering about at night, quiet and alone. She's about to give up the search for a good friend. Celestia is worried, and decides to send her top student to try and help out. It may be her last hope at saving her sister from her own emotions. This is the fateful night that Luna may make her first real friend, and maybe even more.
Thanks to all those people following me. I really appreciate it. Just remember, I'm open to suggestions, and if you have any ideas you would like me to try, don't hesitate to tell me.
Shoutout to trunsako! He's the one who made the title art for me. Check him out at FunnyJunk and spam him with love.
Read, Comment, Enjoy -MasterFrasca99
Chapters (13)
How sweet,Luna needs friendship.
Daaaaaaaaaawwwwwww!
Really enjoying the perspective, cant' recall anything iv read from the viewpoint of luna, can't wait to see how this continues, 5 stars and a track from here
Oh Luna, no pony will take you seriously while drunk and they are not.
Fabulaus dawwling
Lucky Luna to have six friends.
LOL What shall we do with a drunken Luna?
Good thing nothing escaped from Luna's mouth during the surprise kiss.
151811
Shave her belly with a rusty razor!
Shave her belly with a rusty razor!
Shave her belly with a rusty razor, early in the mornin!
(Couldnt really throw her in the brig or in bed with the captain's daughter. The captain would probably be happy with the thought of his daughter sleeping with Luna.) (Also couldnt use the balls version since she doesnt have em.)
1st person Twiluna!
Hopefully that kiss didnt ruin anything, I have lost a friend due to drunken makeout.
It must be rough being those bushes by Twilight's door. First Flutterbitch and now Luna vomit.
Oh ho ho, what do we have here?
A bit of...friendshipping?
derpy approves
Luna confirmed for best pony. Undebatable.
Luna confirmed for best pony. Undebatable.
HHHNNNNGGGGHHH
Tracking!
And Twilight sweeps Luna off her hooves with a suprising (for Lulu) statement.
I see in your blog you feel something more is needed; I would suggest either a flashback in the next chapter (or place it before this chapter) of Twilight thinking about what Luna said and what she should do. In an adorkable egghead/bookworm way of course. The fic Common Sky does a good job of portraying Twilight's thoughts if you want some inspiration.
Twilight being adorkable is the main point to shipping her with anypony.
182662 Thanks. Flashbacks I can do. I just posted this one day, and its popularity exploded out of the gate, so I was caught off guard and had no clue where to take this... Heck I could even switch perspectives and do a few from Twi's point of view.
This is exactly what I wanted. Thanks again!
TOO SHORT! I know you just got time to write (according to your blog), but I'll wait as long as i need to for a great, reasonably-long chapter (1000+ words).
You want something more? First, LONGER! Second, try to add more description relating to feeling.
Third, try to make the dialogue a little more . . . unique. It seems too stilted. For example:
“Princess do you mean what you had said, and what you had done,” Twilight asked, not even trying to hide her quizzical look. She didn’t seem angry, though, which surprised me.
“Well,…I just… you…” I was stuttering, trying to come up with a good reason why I had pulled her in for a huge smooch. Eventually, I just told her the truth. “Well…Yes, Twilight. I meant it, all of it. You’re my first real friend, and I thought that you would be ok with it…But I was drunk. I shouldn’t have done that…”
“Princess,” Twilight interrupted me, “I just want to tell you, I think I feel the same way about you.” I stood there open-jawed, unable to accept what she had said. I knew I loved her, but I had never expected her to love me back. If anything, I thought she would take a liking to my sister before me. “Ever since that night I came out and we read those poems, I thought that we could get a little…you know…closer.”
Instead, try:
“Princess, do you . . ." Twilight's face showed a mix of curiosity and understanding. "Did you mean what you said, and what you did?” It was obvious that she was not even trying to hide her quizzical look. She didn’t seem angry, though, which surprised me.
“Well,…I just… you…” I was stuttering, trying to come up with a good reason why I had pulled her in for a huge smooch. It was an embarrassing moment. Eventually, I just told her the truth. “Well…Yes, Twilight. I meant it, all of it." My cheeks were turning redder and hotter by the moment. "You’re my first real friend, and I thought that you would be ok with it…But I was drunk." I almost felt tears in my eyes. "I shouldn’t have done that…”
“Princess,” Twilight interrupted me, “I just want to tell you, . . . " Twilight leaned closer to my face, smiling warmly. "I think I feel the same way about you.” I stood there open-jawed, unable to accept what she had said. I knew I loved her, but I had never expected her to love me back. If anything, I thought she would take a liking to my sister before me. Yet she continued talking. “Ever since that night I came out and we read those poems, I thought that we could get a little…" Twilight looked down at her hooves, shifting nervously. "You know…closer.”
I never thought i'd write such a big paragraph.
good but its wayyyy too short and it feels a bit rushed, either way 5/5 stars because everything else is really well done!
HUZZAH!! FIRST PERSON TWILUNA IS BACK!!
Could stand to be a bit longer.
More Twiluna please!
182736>>183129>>183148 Right. Too short, note taken. Gah! I need to go back and rewrite this chapter, because I knew I was rushing it as I was writing it. Give me a few more days and I'll try and have something worthwhile for you guys. Thanks for all the positive criticism, anyway. I'm always up for suggestions.
Wow this was a good story, it would be cool if it was... longer.
183635 I'm a bit late but I'd add my voice to those above. A lot of the joy of shipping fics, at least for me, comes from both ponies involved (or dragon, right right, stop hitting me Spike) coming to the realisation that they have deep feelings for the other - that's always worth exploring in detail. So, in this case, Twilight in particular could do with some introspection and rumination. Perhaps even Luna could do with some more motivation (though admittedly, it IS Twilight so 'because she is best pony' is already a given).
continue with the story...
2:20am - Oh Yes! An update. Sleep can wait.
Great job so far on all your writing! Never be discouraged.
OK first, your chapters are short. Extremely short. So short in fact, that it breaks away from getting into the story. I timed the third chapter, 3min read. Why dont you combine your chapters? Also i guess i expected better grammar and spelling from a short-fic that takes 4 days to write. Please get am editor/ pre-reader!! Love your storys though, so much potential to be an amazing story!!
234967And that is why I don't write at 2AM...
I didn't realize that it was that bad. Thanks for pointing that out...
235000
thank you for your hard work and for sharing it with us ^^
About the only thing that jumped out at me was this little bit of repetition:
"I closed my eyes, channeling my energy to my horn as I focused on my moon. I focused on the moon, lifting it up from the distance..."
I would probably change it to:
"I closed my eyes and channeled energy into my horn as I focused on my moon; lifting it up from the distance..."
But, I'm a big fan of semicolons. It could just as easily be a period, really.
yay new chapter!
But now we have some backstory on why Luna like mares, is convinced to not give up, and has a nice timeset to meet twi. Please try to update the next chapter as fast as you can within reason!
Awww, poor Luna. Still, at least she has the beginning of a plan now!
I'm curious on who she has her eyes on now. 30% More interesting now.
253831 Nopony said it had to be one of the mane 6...or a female...
Hint, hint, nudge, nudge...
That was a fun chapter
>>MasterFrasca99
Ha! Does silly Twilight think she likes stallions? Everypony knows that Twilight ships best with mares.
i can have update please?
NOOOOOO! Luna must get Twilight to love her! I was thinking of some evil plot going on.
Doctor I love you and all, but no. You are not allowed to interfere with TwiLuna and frankly you should go see about getting to know Derpy.
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258669
Story is not over yet. While there is story to be told, Luna still has a chance.
Maybe experiencing her first break up will make Twilight more inclind to mares?
*evil plan* 
For a moment I thought the Doctor was the stallion from last chapter, then I remembered Luna said months not years.
You know as someone who's never seen an episode of Dr. Who I've got to ask does he really act that, way about things? I can see him being somewhat distant from people given the odd type of immortality he has plus the accompaning personality rewrite after each regeniration but it just seems odd that someone who has been writing wrongs for as long as he apprently has all through time and space would be sodetached and seemingly non plussed about ditching a friend/companion like that.
As for the whole wilight dating the Doc bit I think it can provide an intresting conflict for the story especialy as I can't see her giving up Luna as a friend simply because the doctor and her have some issues to work out. As much as i don't like the idea of a possible breakup causing her to re-evaluate herself in that way i could see luna being there to comfort her afterword and explaining to Twilight why she and the doctor had the falling out in full detail could bring them closer together.
258909 Well he is sort of odd (I've seen a good bit of Dr. Who), but I never said that he ditched Luna on purpose. Now, seeing all the positive opinion on including the Doctor, I may have to do some...things... with the relationship.
(first I think Luna's going to have a talk with another "Friend" who likes mares too
*hint hint*)
Hmm I hope my question didn't come across as an acusation, I really don't know much about him beyond the basics regeniration, time travel, incredible techknowlogy, does his best to protect the world at large and his friends in particular. However I heard somewhere that he can be rather cold at times so maybe that plus luna being my Number Two fave pony got the better of me here.
I look forward to seeing where you take this story of yours. Seeing things mostly from luna's perspective is a nice touch here. it gives the story something to set it apart from most other Twiluna stories out there, also i think that they way you've gone about developing Luna's character overall is well done the first chapter gave us a real good idea of the type of isolation she suffered back before her banishment and struggles with even now. I'm expecting you to bring about an interesting and fitting resolution to this tail you've begone here and I don't doubt you'll do it either.
258669
)
Agreed, and may I add that the only thing allowed to interfere with TwiLuna is Twilunestia (OT3
I'm liking were this is going, but do you really have to post a page of writing at a time? i know writing takes a long time for most people, but one page isnt very much, and it distracts from the story quickly, like a small corridor of small scenes every 15 feet. what happens if there is a huge confrontation? will that be written quickly in under 1500 words? i'm just peeved that you post such tiny chapters.
Otherwise, your writing is fantastic!
259197 Well, I'm sorry that my chapters are as small as they are, but that is just how I usually write. I usually have it as a scene by scene thing, and I usually write the whole thing in one sitting (I can't write a little bit, stop and then come back to try and finish it. I'm just weird like that
) Even if I did give you guys more at once (which means more waiting for you) I would still probably arrange my chapters like they currently are. It's just how I am.
I write in word, and everything I have written to date ( even all the non-pony stuff which I keep locked up in my computer's files) usually only goes for three to four pages as this story does. I'm glad you like my writing, but future updates will probably be very similar to this one. Sorry.
(plus I procrastinate way more than I should, but that's my fault and I apologize for it
)
259173
Agreed, so long as it is either Twiluna or Twilestia with an additional princess not Lunestia with an added Twilight.