When going to deliver invitations for her Hearts and Hooves Day Party, Pinkie Pie overhears a conversation between Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy that makes her start to question her feelings. With nopony else around to talk some sense into her Pinkie head, she decides to...be Pinkie...
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To shot?
Double barrel shotgun!!
I'm a little confused on the conflict here. What is Pinkie Pie jealous of?
But anyway.. nice work so far
Bahahahaha!
I love the Pinkie personas. Pinkie Spy, twinkie pie, pinkie cry! The poet in me was positively rolling in laughter!
Pinkie Pie, you're soo random!
2096537 Oh, she is jealous of Fluttershy. I really should have put it more solidly in this chapter: she likes Dashie
2096537 Just went in and added a paragraph to try to clear things up a bit
I don't want to say it directly in this chapter, butit could have been more clear...Thanks for the feedback 
2096772
Do you mean as in.. like, like? If that's the case.. it wouldn't hurt to add the romance tag. I don't mean to be naggy or anything.
Ok, things are more clear. She thinks there's something between them and is jealous... alright!
Intresting. Your way of writing Pinkie Pie is very unique.
I look forward to the next chapter.
Very nice characterization! I really feels like an episode with the writing (not that there would be any episode like this...), and with the nice amount of visual stuff you put in. It's extremely easy for me to imagine Pinkie acting like this...Really looking forward to the next chapter!
Interesting characterization and the added bonus of Pinkiedash :). Tracking :)
2096870 I was going to, but I figured since there is no romance happening...eh, doesn't matter, I'll just add it to clear things up
I thinks too hard 
This is good, some of the best RainbowPie I've read in a while. While Fluttershy could do with less stuttering, as she is capable of talking fluently in the show, Dash is quite excellent and I like your take on Pinkie. She's happy and manic and random, but there's this little undercurrent of insecurity that isn't immediately noticeable. Good stuff. Actually kind of disappointed to hear it will only be two chapters long, hope to see more PinkieDash from you in the future!
2099733 Of course :D PinkieDash is my OTP
I loves it 
Yeah, Fluttershy isn't a pony I am very good at connecting with...so it is probably wierd...I'll have to go back in and fix that 
thanks for the feedback!
Good job writing Pinkie. I have to admit that FlutterDash is my OTP so that's who I'm rooting for.
I think Fluttershy can be harder to write then Pinkie so have fun with that.
2100138 No problem. :) And I can definitely empathize, I have trouble relating to Fluttershy as well. I'm just not like her in any way. ^^;
YOU WILL FINISH THIS!
Or I will end you
NOW.
If..thats ok with you..
Maybe Im using these emotions to much
I'm watching you
GET IT FINISH...please...
I am using these emo's to much
But..YAY A GOOD STORY
I love how you protrayed Pinkie here, the silliness is just so fitting! PinkieDash is my OTP!
Pinkie, there is a very simple solution to this problem....
Silver out!
2170084 AW YEAH
I think Fluttershy might get overwhelmed and pass out though 
(PINKIE DASH IS BEST OTP 
)
This is going to be Fluttermac isn't it?
The impending Pinkiedash is a sure thing, but that means Fluttershy's and Rainbow Dash's interactions have to be interpreted as Dash helping her to set up a date with someone else.
So you need Shy out of the way --> default fallback partner Big Mac?
Well I don't think this is a story for me anyway, but should I be right, please think about being a little more more creative...
2229134 That's kind of presumptuous of you
I don't really get FlutterMac or ship it, so I wouldn't write it unless it was absolutely pertinent to the plot (unfortunately all of the Fluttershy ships I like would be hugely inappropriate for this story 
), and since this story was a short experiment in writing characters I wasn't exactly going for a big mystery with the plot. (Maybe I should have been more specific that I was looking for criticism on the writing and not the plot...sorry about that...)
And the PinkieDash may not be quite as impending as you think (the romance tag on this is more of a fallback than obligatory
) Don't get to excited though, this still isn't going to be very surprising of an ending. This and my other fic are both more of writing experiments before I start to write some pretty plot heavy things, so don't put me down for the count quite yet 
in another month or two I hope to have up the first chapter of my first really serious fic - a psychological horror (horror isn't normally my thing, but this idea has really grabbed hold of me and I think it could be good if I work out the details. I enjoy psychological stuff as opposed to violent stuff 
).
Anyway, I'll stop talking
Thanks for the feedback anyway, please come back to me in a month or two and criticize the bejeezsus out of the plot for my next story!
2229744
Ok, I apologise.
Maybe I should try to have more faith in the world, but then it may hit me by surprise, and it can hurt more if you didn´t see it coming.
2230407 It's okay
You did get the rest of it right
This is a nice take on Pinkie Pie to be sure. I liked the insane ways she got around town to avoid being seen by Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, and I love the bits of semi-calculated randomness she threw in to throw everyone else off of her secret. Her innocence in things related to Dash and her feelings, as well as her conflicted thoughts about Fluttershy, were all very well handled. For a lighter take on Pinkie this was incredibly well-done. I personally see her as a bit more focused and calculating than as a spastic ball of joy at all times, but I think this fairly happy-go-lucky take on her thought process works just as well and fits the tone of this story much better. Great job, and I'm definitely looking forward to more.