Scootaloo
Scootaloo opened her eyes to the twittering of birds outside her window. She tried blocking out the noise by rolling over and hiding her head beneath her pillow, but they were still audible. She groaned as she sat up and rubbed her eyes before yawning loudly. Stupid birds, haven’t they ever heard of sleeping in?
It was earlier than she was used to waking, the sun not yet coloring the sky. Five more minutes would have been a godsend, but she knew the birds weren’t going to relent anytime soon. With a stretch of her wings and another yawn, Scootaloo leapt to the floor with a muffled clomp on the rug. She turned to make her bed, but paused.
Why was she doing this again? The mattress looked more inviting than ever, and her body cried out for more sleep. She considered the offer, but shunned the invitation and made her bed without another thought.
Though there was no practical reason for it, rising with the sun to continue her morning flights seemed right. The thought of ending it was incomprehensible.
Scootaloo walked to her bedroom door and opened it, but a soft clang caught her attention. Poking her head around the inside of the door, she saw a gold medal hanging from the doorknob. Her first gold medal.
She gazed at it wistfully for a moment, but shook her head.
She didn’t do this for Rainbow Dash. Not anymore.
The house was quiet as Scootaloo walked down the hall and into the living room. Before reaching the front door, she stopped and looked over her shoulder. She listened for the faint sounds of slumber and thought of her father’s smile. She couldn’t do this without him.
Scootaloo left her house and took flight into the morning stillness. She flew south for once, deciding it was time for a change in scenery. Her hopes of seeing something new and interesting slowly faded when she realized the landscape was pretty much the same here as everywhere else: rolling green fields and pastures as far as the eye could see. She resigned to keep a level gaze and slowly drift into mental oblivion, but was unable. Thoughts of the past week kept churning to the surface of her mind.
The wind carried away a sigh, along with the array of colors that haunted her.
≈≈≈×≈≈≈
The latter half of the day found itself hosting a little flight exhibition. The green of the meadow by the Everfree Forest was spotless, save the figures of Applebloom and Sweetie Belle. Circling far above, Scootaloo gazed down at their smiling faces, which eagerly looked up, anticipating an exciting display of aeronautics. She took a deep breath and launched herself toward the earth.
Sweetie Belle and Applebloom cheered as she looped and dove through the air, adding little twists and spins to her routine. Scootaloo flew low to the ground and banked wide, encircling them.
She wracked her brain for something spectacular, something to stun them and sharpen her abilities. One particularly roguish idea popped into her head.
Still circling her friends, she tilted her angle inward. Like a tether ball around a pole, she slowly inched nearer.
Their faces grew concerned, but she brushed the thought aside; this would undoubtedly surprise them. She maintained her inward spiral, but it quickly put a grueling strain on her wings. She beat them faster to compensate, but not enough.
Scootaloo couldn’t keep up with the tempo and lost her rhythm. Her momentum launched her out of the circle and into a tumbling roll across the meadow, where she left pockets of torn earth in her wake. Friction did its job and brought her to a sliding halt.
“Scoot!” Applebloom and Sweetie Belle yelled as they hurried to catch up.
Sounds of spitting and gagging filled the air as Scootaloo expelled chunks of grass and dirt from her mouth, much to the amusement of the others.
“Wow, Scoot, that sure was somethin’,” Applebloom giggled, “but what in the hay were you tryin’ to do?”
“Eh, nothing, really,” Scootaloo fibbed, passing off an air of nonchalance to smooth over her failed stunt.
“So why do you still do it, anyways?” Applebloom asked.
Scootaloo cocked her head and raised a brow. “Do what?”
“Why do you still fly after what Rainbow Dash did? You still haven’t told us.”
Scootaloo didn’t answer, looking at her hooves instead. She hadn’t really thought about it before. “I don’t know. I just kinda do. It’s, um... It’s like knowing there’s always something there for you, no matter what. I guess it’s kinda like your cutie marks,” she added with a shrug.
“Like our cutie marks?” Sweetie Belle echoed in confusion.
Scootaloo shifted her weight. “Well, yeah... You guys have your cutie marks. You know what you’re good at and what you’ll do for the rest of your lives. And I can fly.” She shrugged.
“So you fly just because you can?” Sweetie Belle asked, still clueless.
Scootaloo didn’t answer. There was more to it than that. Rainbow Dash had taught her to fly, something she hadn’t asked—desired—of anypony else. She was the master—the one, true teacher. The one who had given her the keys to the sky. Was, anyway.
But the door she had unlocked could not be shut. It remained forever open, entrance into the world above, irreversible. Everything that had happened did for a reason. Defying it was impossible.
Scootaloo shrugged again. “I guess.”
“But what about your cutie mark?” Applebloom cut in. “We still need to figure out what it is.”
That was another worry she had little interest in anymore. “Ehh...”
Applebloom gawked as if her cutie mark had disappeared. “What do you mean, ‘ehh’? We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders! We gotta find out what your special talent is.”
Scootaloo began drawing circles in the dirt. “I don’t know. It just doesn’t feel all that important trying to find it anymore.”
Sweetie Belle, too, sounded particularly surprised. “But don’t you at least want it?”
Sure she did. It would be nice to know she finally found it, but finding the reason for her desire to continue flying, in spite of all that had happened, was a more pressing matter. A cutie mark could wait. “Yeah. Who knows... maybe flying actually is my special talent.”
“You think so?” Applebloom asked.
Scootaloo gazed up at the sky. They didn’t know how strongly she was drawn to it, of the sovereignty it claimed over her. They couldn’t. The pain and sacrifice she had endured to reach this moment was foreign to them, as was the passion it fostered. It was a whirlpool of emotion that drained away the bad until only the good remained.
In the most basic sense, it was freedom—freedom from her worries, from the troubles of the world, a release of any and all pent-up anxiety.
Scootaloo smiled at her friends, “Yeah, I do.” She was glad they couldn’t understand, and she hoped they never would.
≈≈≈×≈≈≈
The next morning arrived, boasting a beautiful red glow that filled the sky. Scootaloo went about her business, waking up early to continue her instinctive habit and prepare for another fun-filled day with the other Crusaders. Upon exiting her house and taking wing over Ponyville proper, she noticed a change in scenery.
Balloons, streamers, and decorations of all sorts swelled throughout Ponyville, Sugarcube Corner its epicenter. There was no doubt about it: Pinkie Pie was hard at work. Celestia knew what for, but if she was up this early preparing for a party, something big was happening.
A handful of ponies entered the bakery, but Scootaloo restrained her curiosity. She had to get her morning flight in before anything else. Her work ethic wouldn’t allow otherwise. She headed north with nowhere particular in mind.
She returned from Equestrian countryside an hour later and was brought back to reality by Ponyville’s transformation. A kaleidoscope of fluorescent colors had seemingly grown out of the woodwork and taken the town hostage. Pinkie Pie must have been really excited if she went this far with her decorations, but Scootaloo wasn’t up for discovering why. She was worn out from her flight and not in the mood to put up with the crazy mare’s shenanigans. Scootaloo arrived home and promptly headed for the bathtub to wash away the sweat of her morning endeavor.
Refreshed and rejuvenated, Scootaloo went outdoors into the heat of the summer sun. More ponies were heading toward Sugarcube Corner. This time, curiosity got the better of her.
She took to the air for Sweet Apple Acres, flying faster than usual, spurred on by the gnawing curiosity, to see if Applebloom wanted to investigate with her. As she neared the farm, though, she spotted Applebloom and Applejack walking toward Ponyville. She landed beside them.
“Hey Applebloom! Hey Applejack!” she said.
“Well, shoot, Scoot. You scared the livin’ daylights outta me!” Applejack said. "What brings you all the way out here?”
“Oh, I was coming to ask Applebloom if she wanted to go to Sugarcube Corner,” Scootaloo replied. “I saw lots of ponies going there, and I thought it’d be fun to get Sweetie Belle to go, too.”
“Well you’re in luck,” Applejack said. “We were just on our way there. Pinkie Pie asked Granny Smith to make some of her famous apple pies,” she added, glancing at her saddlebags.
“Ah got to help!” Applebloom said with a gleeful hop.
Applejack smiled at her sister. “That you did, Applebloom, and I’m sure Rainbow’ll be plum grateful.”
Scootaloo looked up at her in alarm, a tingle working down her shoulder blades. “What?”
Applejack looked back to Scootaloo with mild surprise, then grimaced as she scratched the back of her neck. “Oh, you didn’t hear? Rainbow Dash is back.”
Scootaloo flinched, and her hair stood on end. Rainbow Dash was here in Ponyville?
“Listen, we all know what... hey, Scoot, wait a minute!”
Applejack’s words fell on deaf ears. Scootaloo was already airborne, surging back to town with all the speed she could muster. She had to see it for herself, see her for herself.
The vibrant decorations around town blurred at the edges of her vision as she blew past them. Sugarcube Corner grew in her sights, but she was blind, unable to see past the rainbow in her mind’s eye.
She burst into Sugarcube Corner and stood in the doorway. A hushed silence swept over the crowd within, and all eyes fell upon her. Rainbow Dash was standing in the middle of the room, a confident smile on her face. It disappeared as their eyes met, and a battle of wills raged in the stillness. The air was stifling. Nopony moved, hardly daring to breathe.
Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and quietly sighed. She solemnly walked toward Scootaloo, head bowed.
Scootaloo felt a spark of anger ignite inside her. How dare she come back. The urge to tackle her and show her the pain she had inflicted surged like a tidal wave within Scootaloo’s breast. But at the same time, from the bottom of her heart, a secret longing that Rainbow Dash would scoop her up in her hooves and apologize kept it at bay. That Rainbow Dash could just tell her everything would be alright. And it would be.
Now once again in her presence, the old, happy memories of their relationship resurfaced. Counter to the resentment she felt, Scootaloo wanted nothing more than to be held close, to again melt within her embrace.
As Rainbow Dash neared, Scootaloo’s heart gave a flutter of hope. Will she? Was this the moment she dreamed of? Would Rainbow Dash find the compassion to stay?
Scootaloo felt the brush of feathers against her side, and a shiver found its way through her body. She turned to see Rainbow Dash’s tail gently swaying back and forth as it exited the building. The urge to yell hurtful nothings at her tormentor welled, but all that came forth was a soft-spoken utterance.
“Why?”
Rainbow Dash was unmoved by the question. She continued out the door and onto the porch. Her hooves echoed loudly off the concrete. Stepping down onto the road, her wings opened to lift her into the sky.
“Answer me!!!”
Scootaloo’s cry resounded throughout the open street, and Rainbow Dash stalled her ascent. She briefly looked to the sky before bowing her head again, as if contemplating her next words.
“Because,” Rainbow Dash replied, not even turning to look Scootaloo in the eyes, “I don’t train noponies.”
Scootaloo recoiled, and her heart felt as though it was sucked inside itself.
Rainbow Dash took flight. Scootaloo shut her eyes in an attempt to hold back the tears. She shivered as she tried to retain her composure, but the intensity of the blow was too much. The spark flared and engulfed her.
No. Not again.
Scootaloo shot into the sky in hot pursuit. Violet streak followed rainbowed blur over the rooftops of Ponyville. She grit her teeth to the point of cracking them.
Carried on the winds of rage, Scootaloo chased Rainbow Dash over the Ponyville river and far beyond the outskirts of town. The Everfree Forest grew on the horizon as she closed the distance between them.
Rainbow Dash glanced back. Her eyes burned with malice.
“If you want me, come and get me.”
With that, Rainbow Dash faced ahead and pulled her hind legs forward. With a powerful surge of her wings, she launched forward at the speed of sound and lit up the sky in a blaze of color. The explosion sent Scootaloo tumbling head over hooves into the river.
Water invaded throat and nostrils as she thrashed about making sense of what had just happened. She noticed bubbles rising toward the surface and followed them, gasping for breath when she broke the surface. She heaved herself out of the river and looked up at the bold rainbow streak that curved over the edge of the Everfree Forest and away. It tapered into the distance, and her heart sank at the lost opportunity.
Because, I don’t train noponies.
Scootaloo hung her head. “You’re right...”
She thought of Rainbow Dash’s embrace, her gleaming eyes, and her choked up attempt to voice her pride. They dangled themselves in front of her before vanishing like leaves in the wind. The cold rejection of Rainbow Dash’s words shattered her again like glass beneath a hammer, as if once was not enough. She felt alone.
Alone.
The mountain where she had first learned to fly stood tall in the distant reaches of her mind’s eye. It speared the heavens, solitary and titanic. She was alone when she had returned to it just last week. The wind coursing through her mane, the colors of the earth, the smell of the forest and rivers—they were hers and hers alone, forever.
A grin spread across her face, and she shook herself from head to tail, shedding the water that clung to her. “You’re right. You don’t train noponies.”
No longer was Rainbow Dash the bygone memory, but now the speck in the distance, the faraway target. It was only a matter of time and place. And Scootaloo knew both: the Wonderbolt auditions.
Eleven months of hell awaited. It would take all of her being to achieve the impossible she set before herself. Sweat, pain, and tears loomed on the horizon, obscuring her view of the pony that fled beyond the faraway skies; though, they could not hide the rainbow tail—the array of colors she would inevitably see only by looking over her shoulder. They would be nothing more than stepping stones to the pony she was destined to be:
Scootaloo, the greatest flier in Equestria.
[Author’s note: Special thanks to Cassius and Filler, for their reviews of the original version, and Belligerent Sock for that of the rewrite. I can’t thank them enough for their help in making me a better writer.]
[Onward we march!]
That's right Scoots. You beat that back stabbing mare.
give me moar NAOW!!!
What I don't understand is the absolute lack of backlash from the other Mane 6 for what Rainbow did. Go get that piece of crap, Scoots! I believe in you. Unless the author is going write you failing in the hopes of some sort of life lesson. Then you're screwed.
Also, yeah you want to get into Wonderbolts to show Rainbow... something. But what if you get in? You're going to have to work along side her till you quit or retire. How is that emotionally healthy?
2536735
She may just reject the offer if she gets in. The tryouts are something Rainbow would have to watch, being a member like she is, so if Scootaloo shows her up in front of everyone, she wins.
2536805
But the only way to show up the version of Rainbow Dash in this story is catch or beat her in a race. How is Scoots supposed do that? She's not going to give a damn if Scoots makes it into the Wonderbolts.
Just hope there is some major payoff for all this build up or I am going to be really, really disappointed. My main fear is hug and kisses at the end with no comeuppances.
MOAR!
Seriously, if my friend were treating anybody the way Dash was treating Scootaloo right now, we would have a long talk ahead of ourselves. I find it odd her Element hasn't stopped working, given that she's about as loyal right now as Twilight is calm or Trixie is timid.
I have a question, I was reading this back before you started rewriting it, and I haven't been reading the rewritten version. So, what chapter will this version be catching up to where the old one left off? (I don't really feel like taking the time to re-read the whole thing)
2537000
Seriously, what happened to the Element of Loyalty here?
2537365
There's a possibility that rather than being loyal to her past life, her Element is leading her into the direction of loyalty to the Wonderbolts.
After all, that has pretty much always been her dream.
And Scoots' father did say that he had to choose between the mare he loved and the Wonderbolts, so RD might have had to make that decision as well, and decided to stay with the Wonderbolts.
While I say that, there's still what RD said in the 2nd episode, that she wouldn't leave her friends hanging, that she wouldn't join the Shadowbolts and leave her friends in the dust, so there's a contradiction in that aspect...
Well then, my cheeks got slightly wet... I must say that it was rather touching the way Rainbow had acted to Scootaloo, considering when I speak for most of us, if not, all, that we have felt these feelings. Not to mention the way Rainbow Dash treated her, keeping her happy just to take those feelings and bludgeon them with a mallet. Looking forward to next chapter.
2537763
I can only think that she somehow is doing this to push Scoots to want to try to be better then herself (referring to RD). But, it still leaves a hint of confusion, I do see your point of her loyalty shifting to the Wonderbolts, but, does her loyalty to her friends also become a question here? *rambling because this probably does not even pertain to this fic*
2537868
Yeah, but I kind of doubt it...unless it's her way of sticking with the Wonderbolts but still trying to get her point across to Scoots without her outright supporting her?
It doesn't really make much sense to me. RD seems really out of character, but I'm sure we'll find out eventually...
Plus her friends all seem to still be getting along with her, it's just Scoots that RD seems to have a conflict with, but it's astonishing that none of her friends said anything. Unless they did while Scoots wasn't around, but still. I feel like they'd have the initiative to sit down and have a long talk with her, but there seems to be no sign of that...
2538110 She's worst pony in my eyes so the blow isn't nearly as severe, but still.
2536735
I have no idea how Dash's element hasn't rejected her after all this. Definitely agree that the rest of the Mane 6 seem to be acting a little odd too- if one of my closest friends were treating a kid who she had a big sister/mentor relationship with this way, we would have had words a long time ago. I'd expect AJ would be particularly likely to be offended.
It seems possible that Rainbow Dash, in this continuity, has never experienced significant failure before (correct me if I'm wrong; I haven't read the previous chapters for months). That certainly could explain her nearly sociopathic reaction to Scootaloo's loss- the idea that Scoots might have failed because she, Dash, did not train her well enough would be so shattering that it's easier for her to just claim that Scoots was never good enough to begin with than to think that the failure might reflect a little on herself as well.
2536857
I can see this playing out in a few different ways, there is always the possibility that Scootaloo pushes herself too far while training, and we get a really sad ending to this fic, I really hope that doesn't happen. Then there's the chance that she goes to the audition shows Rainbow Dash up and finally gets her revenge which I wouldn't mind, finally there's a chance that RD is inspiring Scootaloo in a way she thinks will help, but is actually hurting her a lot, and in the end Scootaloo shows RD she is not a nopony and then they restore the bond they have, of course after a lot of hardship due to the anger Scootaloo has for RD. Personally I am hoping for this one, because I believe that deep down Rainbow Dash is not a complete and utter jerk in this.
I also find it weird that none of the other mane six have spoken to Rainbow Dash or Scootaloo about this... especially Applejack and Rarity, because I'm sure they heard about what happened from Applebloom and Sweetie Belle. Hopefully we find that out soon enough
2537338
I believe that the old version ended on Chapter 15, but I would recommend re-reading the fic, because he spent the time going through it again and possibly changing things around to fit better. Of course I can't completely compare versions, because the old version is gone
I hope your view of things plays out (the third way it can end up). And after what Rainbow Dash just did I so want to see what the Mane 6 decide to do about it since I don't think they'd just sit around and let Dashie be that much of a Super B***.
2536805
2537000
2537365
2537763
2538569
I read all your comments and can but only smile at what's in store compared to your speculations.
2536735
2538285
You haven't seen the mane 6's reactions because this is a Scootaloo story; their reactions are oblique to the overall arc at best. But there will be some in due time.
2537338
Reread and you'll find out.
I've just had a thought.
First, listen to this song:
Now, I have to wonder if Transcendence is going to follow a similar plot. (With RD being the father in the song, and "naming his son Sue" being her utter rejection of Scoots.)
And yes, that was the only way I could think of to easily explain it.
I mean, is Rainbow going to smile at the end and say "I secretly did care for you all along. I only did all that mean crap to make you stronger."?
I know it's not fair to judge something before reading it... but I'm not sure if that ending could work very well. I think we all kind of hate Dash too much for something like that at this point. It would only feel like it robbed us of the satisfaction of RD getting her just desserts (or like we missed out on the tragic ending, depending on your plans).
Like I said, I won't judge until I read it. For all I know, you could pull off a Rainbow redemption beautifully.
That being said, I'm still hoping for a bit of well-justified revenge!
2540006 speculations? Who's speculating? Did I say anything about what I thought is happening or will happen in the story?
I was merely stating that were it my story her Element would totally break down after how much she's ditched, abused and emotionally destroyed her pupil, among other things. If this is Training From Hell and Dash is secretly proud of her and still teaching her, then as others have said, Dash does not have a sympathy points in the bank to buy that card at this stage. If she really is just that much of an asshat, I'd be questioning why she was my friend to the max at that stage. <--
2540006
Now I am really excited to see where this story goes.
Before the rewrite you left us at a glorious cliffhanger that was bugging me for weeks after reading it, I'll be excited when the re-write catches up and I finally see how the cliffhanger plays out
Wait a tick.... What if Rainbow Dash is doing this because it is fueling her to take revenge and show her up so that she becomes better than Rainbow could ever be? Or am I the only one that thinks in terms of what the end result will be?
2540006
Well, this just got very interesting. I can't decide which thought of the next events I want to believe more, does RD's element finally kick in and smack her around (not literally) a few times to finally make her understand what she's doing; or, does Scoots just use all of this to fuel her engine to achieve more and show RD that shes not a "nopony." Can't wait to see how you make it play out.
I'm enjoying this so much again, all it took was learning to appreciate sad and tragic stories a little more. Now, I'm hoping Dash stays a jerk. If Scootaloo becomes best flier in Equestria, and Dash says "that's the reason I was so mean to you all those years" I'll rage quit the fandom. It'd be a cop out if she could explain her behavior away in one sentence.
Also, Dash just tucked her tail between her legs in the middle of her own welcome back party and ran away from Scootaloo! Haha, now everypony knows what a coward Dash is.
2540006
...
2542311
You don't get any where if you stand in the shadow of your hero. Rainbow Dash knows that, and would also know that anger and rage are great tools to being out some ones true ability. Rainbow Dash set her self up for a win-win here, Scootaloo fails? Then her actions are warranted because Scootaloo was not meant for the skies like herself. If Scootaloo manages to follow in Rainbow Dash's "hoofsteps" well then... She did exactly what Scootaloo needed.
In truth you should be more upset if Rainbow Dash DIDN'T plan for this. It would be a massacre of Rainbow Dash's character and call the quality of this story into question if she really did that to Scootaloo for failing once. Rainbow Dash is loyalty, and sometimes being loyal means to help your friends in the way that they need. Which is sadly not always the way you or your friend wants.
Secondly Dash is not a coward, it takes a lot of bravery to stick to a plan to help your friends. If this was planed by her then she knew that she had to stick to it no matter how bad it made her look. Scootaloo needs a fire burning in her, and Rainbow offered her self up as fuel.
Stay awesome everypony!
2559877
I have since changed my opinion on that chapter. In hindsight, the fact that it hit so close to home is proof of his skill as a writer. It definitely encouraged me to reach that level of writing in my own work, to make readers so emotionally invested into a character that it causes them to go through the five stages of grief for a fictional character.
Dash's 180 was certainly out of the blue, but I have faith there is a reason and we just don't know it yet. The point was to devastate Scootaloo, and the fact it devastated me should give Corejo some kinda bonus points.
Unless of course it turns out that Dash was just upset she didn't get her Dr. Pony, and took it out on Scootaloo. Then I'd be a bit confused over the whole issue again.
2561122
Definitely effective, but still probably the most brutal way possible to force Scootaloo to be great. I wonder if Dash believes it is the only way. Assuming that is true, she would need some reason to think that such treatment is the formula for success. Perhaps Dash suffered the same as a filly, and believes it's the only way to truly help Scootaloo.
The only thing is why do none of the other ponies particularly notice or care? I know Scootaloo's immediate friends and family are supporting her. I know Applejack and by association the other elements must know about it. So, either none of Dash's friends care about what she did, or they are all in on it. I can't see the elements being in on the plan. So, they're either badgering Dash and Dash is losing her friendship with the elements, or the elements don't care she's emotionally devastating her biggest fan.
That's the only thing not making sense with the story, whether Dash is doing it for a reason or not, any interaction with her has to remain off-screen until the big reveal later in the story.... and it makes me wonder why they'd throw Dash a huge party knowing what an ass she is, unless the whole town is in on it.
2561122
Rainbow Dash knows that, and would also know that anger and rage are great tools to being out some ones true ability.
I don't see that as a win-win. If Scootaloo fails and does something crazy like commit suicide, that kind of abuse has hardly been anything close to loyalty. I'll be interested to see how the author salvages this (as well as the explanation of why the other Elements put up with it), as this depiction of Dash is clearly too immature to not only understand that is loyalty a two-way street, but even to function as a passably adult pony.
There are other, often better ways of training greatness. Even if Dash succeeds with this method- if that's her intent- she's still (from what's been shown) an immature flankhole.
Should that be "godsend" or "celestiasend?"
2542311 I know! After this, I'm gonna read cupcakes and enjoy it.
Oh look, 1:23 AM.
One of the best stories i read.
RD makes a good antagonist. Kick her ass, Scoots!
And thus, you have sown the seeds of transcendence. I understand the story title now. This also resonates with my previous comment.
That's right, Scoots. You train and you train and you overcome the odds. I'm cheering for you!
Ahh, so that is this story. I couldn't remember if Scootaloo training for the Wonderbolts on her own was this story or some other story.
Maybe my 2+ year old memory isn't so bad after all.
2683648
Mistress Do Well. Lasts longer than Cupcakes.
___________
Yeah, the wanton destruction of Rainbow Dash's character is going to be what tanks this piece in my estimation. :/
Although this is of course an exaggeration of the worst possible way rainbow dash could be a role model, not only is it within the terms of believability as far as fanfiction goes, I actually really like seeing it considering how weird it was in the show that she was just a naturally good sister. RD more than anypony else speaks before she thinks or says something blunt and inelegant and generally has the least emotional intelligence. Applejack and Rarity have both had entire episodes about overcoming their reservations and relating better to their sisters but we're supposed to just assume that RD hasn't made any mistakes?