I hope you all had a good time! · 3:17pm Dec 27th, 2014
With Christmas over, I now breathe a sigh of relief, not just because of the end-of-the-year feeling, but because I finally made peace with something.
Fourteen months ago I broke up with the man I love. I'd cheated on him, severely, and he found out in one of the worst ways possible. It ripped us apart, divided our friends and ruined most of my life. Even now I think back and regret everything I did, and every choice that led me to it, and I have only myself to blame. I single-handedly destroyed the best thing in my life.
And because of it I spent last Christmas alone.
But not this one. This one I... It sounds cliche, but I learned that friends really are forever. Love, well that won't ever be the same, I've lost that. I still have my friends though, and most importantly, I still have my best friend. The simple words 'We're still friends'... Even two days down the line I'm tearing up with how happy they made me. After a year of pain, guilt and soul searching where I was too afraid to even talk to him for fear of causing him pain, and my own pain too... A year of having this twist in my gut like a razor I'd swallowed on purpose.
As much as I love him, he has always, since the day I met him, been my best friend. And no matter what your family is like, no matter if they love you, or if they're the kind to rip your soul to shreds, spending Christmas with your best friends is something to treasure. This Christmas is my treasure. I have my friend back.
After what I've done, it's probably more than I deserve, and thousands of you might say that it's definitely too much to ask. I am, and always will be, amazed at how lucky I am to have met the friends I have, to have met him...
I never though I could say this without irony, especially on this site, but it's magic. The power of friendship is complete and undeniable magic.
Now, excuse me while I go collapse in a little bundle of warm blankets and baked goods and hot chocolate to bask in the feeling of the most monumental weight being lifted off my soul.
Goodnight, crazy people, keep safe.
It's always a good thing to forgive, but its just as important to forgive yourself. If both of you have forgiven eachother, then its just something to learn from.
You say you expect people to say you don't deserve redemption, but that's not for them to decide. If someone is willing to forgive you, then obviously there's something worth forgiving, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. hope you had a merry chrismas, or whatever else you celebrate, and good luck in the future!
So... very... heartwarming
It's an exquisite pleasure to read about real-life magic of friendship. Keep it, treasure it, share it.
Good luck, Ireyah.
2681735 2682132 Thank you both for the kind words, I did have a great day. The only opinion that matters as far as forgiveness goes, though, is his. I might never forgive myself, but if he's able to... I can be happy.
Let's be clear, I don't think I even have that yet, but having somebody you betrayed be good enough to tell you that you're still their friend... Even if it takes me years more to have forgiveness, that gives me back all my hope, all my confidence and the ability to say that I can accept things and move forward again.
Right now, having my friend back is the greatest thing I could ever have hoped for. And that makes this the best Christmas I could have dreamed of.
2682321 Thank you sweetheart, I will.
Glad to hear it! I hope your New Year is at least as good. Stay crazy, always.
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
Holy fucking shit... I had no idea. <Hugs> I've missed you, friend.
New fan who recently found one of your works. I dont see anything new indicating your still here, but this post has me concerned. I'm just wanting to see if you are okay.