Princess Skyla, Daughter of Cadance and Shining Armor, recounts a day in her foalhood when she met the imprisoned soul of Sombra. She argues with the ex-tyrant, believing that her parents are perfect in every way, especially her Father. Sombra says otherwise...
This was awesome!
AWESOME!! you HAVE TO CONTINUE THIS!!
3245956 I could expand upon it, I think...
3245960 i have an idea of how this can continue o.o and it would be epic! i also have skyla's design drawn up ^^. mostly because i did that pic like a week ago.
3245975 Is she a sort of hardened princess? Shaped by the horrors she had to witness as her innocence was tore away? Not unlike her father?
3245982 in my imagination sombra kind of took over her by scaring her. making her fear her family while she's a kid and just to help him. he manipulated her. yes she's hardened and yes , in my imagination, she's strict and comes off as mean but she's kinda nice. at least she'll help him but she refuses the slavery.
but it's only an idea
3245994 Interesting...
I will eventually expand upon this little story here. Most of my stories will revolve around one continuity, in one universe, with Shining and Sombra at the epicenter.
I want to make a multi-part epic for Skyla, but I have to finish her father's first!
3246004 ah, i will be following the stories then. this story got me thinging. that little idea, i came up with in 2 minutes
3246009 And it's a good one at that, kinda makes sense too. To quote Sombra from a chapter in the distant future: "Pure of heart? Hardly... Shining Armor, you are one of the most corruptible 'heroes' I have ever met."
3246019 yay
Pretty cool.
Though I'm not sure I appreciate the gratuitous swearing in the beginning, the story was still really good. I especially liked the way you portrayed her child-like innocence in the actual flashback.
Still, that's two or more F-bombs in just the first one-thousand words. I really don't know how that can be justified.
-SoI
3246624 In reality, I went overboard on that. You'd notice how that didn't happen in the second half because I wrote it much later
3246624
The word 'fuck' has no offensive meaning until you give it one.
Reflect on that for a bit.
3246019 lol i did a picture of skyla (( the 'official' skyla pic looked too much like cadence so i rearranged the colors and design)) look! i1268.photobucket.com/albums/jj570/akemixchan815/skyla_zpsf3f41eb3.jpg
3248742 That, my friend, is HIGHLY impressive
is there any sort of backstory to it?
3249894 i just drew about that idea i thought up this morning and typed out.
Holy.fuck.
3250061 I'm very impressed, and I love her design
3250107 thank you. i wanted her to look like both her parents. so i picked a design that looked decent and good aswell as chosing the right colors.
3250115 Some of the fan art of her I've seen depict her with a brother, like this:
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_matkaaf7Qu1rrxbq2o1_500.png
I'm not sure if that will be in my universe or not though, since it would have some serious implications
I kinda like how you made Sombra the winner. Even if he was the one who got hurt, it basically ruined the way Skyla saw her dad, and that was the most fucked up thing. Pretty cool. Liked.
3250399 Sombra is a tricky little bugger
3250249 i don't like the brother angle. it causes too many dead ends...seems unnessesary
3250506 Yeah, it would cause some serious repercussions in this universe too
(slow clap) Well played Sombra, well played.
I was going to say the plot thickens, alas no continuation... Would a like provide any form of motivation? I enjoyed your take on Sombra being manipulative and effective in his behaviour. The other villains are gods and some such, Sombra is pure power and cunning. So far everyone had to submit to his power to beat him (Twilight's usage in the story). Anyhow, nice story.
3251918 This is a sort of expansion on a universe I'm already working on, and we will see more Skyla, but that will be for awhile.
There is a certain reason of why everyone needed to use Sombra's magic to beat him, although it delves into some serious exposition and is kinda spoilery
Remove the Fuck's they're misplaced, and getting annoying.
Besides that an awesome start to a great fic.......and if not, i will tear out your spark.
Are we clear?
Megatron out.
3252529 Yes, my liege
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
3257569 Honestly the thought hasn't crossed my mind. I'd need to do some serious editing for that tho, and I'm a little focused on finishing Oneshotober
Maybe afterwards tho, and hopefully I'll have a lot more good stuff to post for them!
Either way, I appreciate the suggestion
More!
3264766 There may be more
But One-shotober ain't gonna beat itself!
FIGHT ! FIGHT! FIGHT! KILL HIM SOMBRA MAKE HIM DIE
3250399 This.
Wow.
This was intense. Great use of the characters! My only complaint is:
You have Skyla sounding like this innocent young filly, and apparently are trying to do so, then out of nowhere, potty mouth. I know this is told in past tense, but still, it's very jarring for the first swear to come from the filly.
Still, great fic, man!
This was an ok story, it was enjoyable and well written. But the one thing that really threw me off was when Skyla swore, you had her act like a child, with a child mind-set, but when you made her swear it felt... off. If she had been older, then it would have made a little sense, but a young filly swearing just seems really out of character, especially for the was you portrayed Skyla.
3399751 The perspective was meant to be an adult Skyla retelling the event. Probably was, This was my first story for One-Shotober, but I it was already being written. It was written over the span of a week, not in a single day like I do now. That's probably the cause for the inconsistencies.
Either way, both this and Soulbound need to be heavily revised
3399817
Ahh, I see.
I really like the way you wrote Sombra here. As for those who got confused over the swearing and such I don't see how, I understood this was a retelling of events from an older Skyla within the first few lines. So you shouldn't worry about that too much, because it really isn't that confusing at all.
I spotted some errors.
Hey, just came back for a third or fourth reread and I still love it. Something was weird though:
I'm pretty sure last time I read this those were working just fine. Just figured I'd let you know.