I wish I could say that both of Rainbow Dash's companions were equally charming. The older of the pair is the very definition of “disagreeable.” And it's not as though I haven't been in the presence of Kihutajans before. But, at least in those prior engagements, such western souls were capable of intellectual discourse. Such is not the case with Professor Sinrar—or perhaps I should say former Professor Sinrar—of the Kihutajan Marine Colonialist Academy. This damnable soul was born to do one thing, and that is to clash. How Rainbow Dash managed to survive a single day in the presence of this arrogant sociopath is beyond me. Perhaps, in some perverse way, by surviving the company of this stallion I may be more capable of understanding that which motivates the mysterious mare. Though I am starting to have my doubts.
“What gets me is that you've never seen your beloved Queen Verlaxion!” Sinrar spat. “Not once! Don't tell me that you imbeciles ever truly have, for I know better! Bah!” He adjusted his spectacles and frowned across the hot sands. “And yet you're willing to lay down your entire lives for a complete phantom!”
Theanim Mane sighed, looking past the foliage where Nick crouched alongside the Swan Song, patching the vessel together with spare hull parts. “Don't you think you're being rather obtuse?” The stallion adjusted his goggles, frowning at the elder. “I'll have you know that there are hundreds if not thousands of esteemed members of the Order—spread across all Six Tribes—who have not only born witness to the presence of Queen Verlaxion, but they have communicated with her personally!”
“And you believe them—why, exactly?” Sinrar smirked. “Because they told you so? Like good godparents? Hah!”
“We're not talking about a treehouse fraternity, my good stallion, but a Scientific Order consisting of empirically driven scholars—”
“—who stretch their objectivity in order to accommodate a celestial spectre! Oui! Some Order! I can't believe that a self-proclaimed scientist in this day and age would put so much stock in something unseen!”
“Gravity has no immediate shape or form,” Theanim said. “Nor time a concrete mechanism—”
“Bah! Vouz avez plein de merde!” Sinrar gnashed his teeth. “Gravity has observable mathematical consistencies and it directly affects time!”
“Ah, and in such a fashion can you observe the glory of Verlaxion at work in all nature,” Theanim said with a grin. “The Queen of All things is imminent in every facet of life! There was once a time when the universe was as cold, soulless, and purposeless as the domain you choose to believe in. But long ago, when our ancestors were freezing and upon the brink of death, she came and imbued her glorious presence into the land and seas. And ever since, she's been playing an active part in the development of the world—both civilized and wild. It matters little, for all is made glorious in her fortuitous plan!”
“And just because your ancestors passed on this silly legend, you think it's perfectly righteous to blanket everything you see and observe with a pathetic myth!” Sinrar smirked. “Hark! And behold! The Spirit of the Almighty Sea Slug graces us with his glorious presence! All bow down and worship him!
Theanim squinted. “You just made that up...”
“And yet, does it hold any more merit than your beloved Queen Verlaxion?”
“That is assuredly different,” Theanim said. “The wisdom and manifestations of Verlaxion have been delicately recorded through the ages by centuries upon centuries of devout scholars.”
“Hrmmmf! Add a sense of antiquity to anything, and you might as well be worshiping a dayum Sea Slug!”
“I really can't believe you Kihutajans,” Theanim said, shaking his head and chuckling. “Is it enough that you spit in the face of the Queen who united the Six Tribes—but you must stretch your minds and bodies backwards in order to unnecessarily substantiate a cold world devoid of her glory?!” He turned to gawk at Nick. “If a magical Queen empowered by righteousness beyond mortal means didn't save this world from a horrible winter, then who or what did?”
“I... uh... I'm just here to fix the boat,” Nick said with a nervous titter. “I'd rather just bruise my hooves on this hammer here.”
“Oh please, vous malodorante chat!” Sinrar rolled his yellow eyes. “For once, will you have a spine about something?”
“I'm... not sure if it takes a spine to argue with Continentalists,” Nick remarked. He smiled slightly. “But you, Professor—you've got something rigid enough stuck up your flank. So have at it.”
“Grrrr...” Sinrar dragged his hooves across the sand and marched off. “I am surrounded by damned cowards. Bah! I'm off to the village. If I'm lucky, maybe I'll choke on a fish bone and die.”
“Be sure to pour salt on the villagers' gracious bounty,” Theanim said. “Presumably they haven't wasted it all in their attempts to murder the great Sea Slug God.”
“Buck you, ignoramus!”
Theanim chuckled. Around this time, a familiar blue shape blurred her way towards the beach where the Nealenders were gathering their canoes.
“Say! Rainbow!” Theanim spun to catch her attention. “I can't for the life of me get through to your bone-headed companion.”
“Be more specific, dude,” Rainbow said.
“Hey!” Nick frowned from where he squatted besides the boat.
“I speak of Sinrar,” Theanim said. “Such a persistently stubborn fellow, and he won't open his eyes even once to the imminent reality of Queen Verlaxion.”
“Errr... yeah.” Rainbow fidgeted in midair. “Imagine that.”
“What do you think, Miss Dash?” Theanim smiled. “You're no Colonialist. Unless I'm to learn otherwise, you're not really much of anything. Does this natural world allow the existence of a great Queen of All Things?”
Nick curiously glanced at Rainbow out the corner of his eyes.
“I... I think...” Rainbow bit her lip. “...I th-think I'm comfortable dealing with one leviathan at a time.” She pointed at the ocean. “Gonna gather the harpoons. We'll be shoving off in a moment.”
Theanim blinked. “Erm...”
“Better get your camera if you want evidence of my awesomeness.” Fwooosh! And the mare was gone.
Theanim rubbed his forehead, sighing. “I simply do not get it. The mare has the confidence to tackle a sea serpent head on, but she simply refuses to touch any scientific or spiritual debate.”
“Maybe she believes in something bigger than all of us combined,” Nick muttered.
“Huh?” Theanim glanced at him. “What was that?”
Nick opened his mouth, fumbled, then sighed. “Never mind.”
The young stallion resumed work on the Swan Song while the photographer looked on in stupid silence.
The things she's seen and witnessed would break your scientific mind, Thunker Meat, much less your world. Consider it a blessing she's hiding it from you right now.
BURRRRRRN.
You have no idea. HEeheheeheeeeee
How will he react when RD tells him. (if) as based on RD current track record.
Oh, Theanim, if only you knew. The world is so much bigger than the bubble of Robhredden, and the origin of your world is even crazier than you can ever imagine. Oh, I can't wait until the big reveal--and how long it takes him to accept it!
-Spirit (Yeast and Treacle)
5986317 Wouldn't Mr. Mapmaking be happy to hear that? And why not all three?
A magical pegasus empowered by awesomeness beyond mortal means.
Sooo... this is basically a Christian versus an Atheist? Internet edition
I wonder if Theanim's gonna cry heresy upon learning about RD's lie. Crucifixion inbound!
I know that there's probably not supposed to be a 'right' and a 'wrong' side to these debates, but damn if Theanim doesn't sound like a fool.
5989966 seems like it.
5989966 Versus an Austraeohist.
On another note, I've no doubt these debates were inspired by Ponky's "If Horses Had Gods" story.
I like Nick. He's like me, except cooler.
So why doesn't Rainbow tell them what she knows?
All Hail the Great Sea Slug God!
Have we gotten any information on this cold winter that plagued the land, and its subsequent end? I'm getting the feeling that the six tribes were not always on the same side, but were once the cold spell ended. Perhaps it was the Windigos? Or it was Verlax?
The evidence points to it being Verlax who started then ended it as a means of taking control of the continent; however, I am still under the assumption that she is not really a villain. Until we receive more information, I am going to stand by the arguments I've made previously and argue that these Shards were placed by her as a challenge to the Austraeoh. She ended the strive and united the various tribes under one banner. What purpose? Well, she's manipulative and calculating (up to centuries ahead). Her goal is, and always was to make sure that any pony that crossed the "Blight" was indeed the Austraeoh, and ensure that this pony was strong enough to cross over to the other side of the plane.
Fun fact- plein doesn't mean full when referring to living things. It's more like, uh, pregnant, but it only refers to animals that are pregnant, not humans. I suppose ponies aren't humans, but they're close enough that this is more like calling someone a pregnant cow, as well as being full of shit.
One day, science will find that Invisible Tea Kettle orbiting Earth, and we'll see who laughs then.
I'm reminded of tribal islanders who regard their local volcanoes as a deity (as the story goes). Yes, the volcano is real, and yes it's dangerous, but boy is the universe so much bigger than that. I'm wondering what kind of perspective Rainbow's very presence is going to give Theanim in the long term.
I found my new religion. :3
1.) Nick, I do believe, is the wisest of them all. He sees no point in getting into the argument, as it solves nothing. He also recognizes the Dash is focusing on something grander than they can currently imagine.
2.) ALL HAIL LORD SLUGGU! MAY WE BASK IN HIS SLIMY COUNTENANCE!
3.)
Idk, maybe the changing of seasons. Say....how do seasons work on a flat plane? Outside of Equestria, where they are artificially done, are there even seasons?
5989994
I don't think they'd take it well.
And to think I might once have agreed with this argument.
5990056 They'd have to discover the Eart first, no?
5989994 probably a combination of wanting to be detached enough for when a goodbye inevitably comes (no matter how distant) and to aoid a Durandana situation. She doesn't exactly have a magic sword to help prove her point and the full moon is a ways off.
Rainbow has ascended from the Youtube comment section, Thea. She no longer takes part in flame wars.
Evasive Dashie is Evasive while dashing.
Man, this is a ridiculous situation. Both Sinrar and Theanim are scientists, scholars that try to learn everything about this world. Yet one side has a religion, and one side doesn't, and then everyone fights. This is why you keep science and religion separate because religion bases everything on a spiritual, emotional belief instead of a scientific one. Besides, I hate the fighting this stuff causes.
I swear, they're gonna meet Verlax and the first thing Theanim's gonna do is yell at Sinrar "SEE?! I BUCKING TOLD YOU!!"
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/4/25/882595__safe_solo_rainbow+dash_animated_screencap_faic_evil_tanks+for+the+memories_spoiler-colon-s05e05_evil+grin.gif
"I'm just here to fix the boat"
That's right, Nick. You don't want any of that.
"Better get your camera if you want evidence of my awesomeness"
And then there's that.
Maybe Nick isn't as boneheaded as everypony thinks.
Nick is cool.
Rainbow knows far more about this debate than she lets on, but also knows better than to rock the boat, so to speak.
Not yet time to rattle the cage, as it were.
6106464
How is the fics punching bag cool? I mean he's basically around to be made fun of, or beaten. And when not getting beaten, teased, or conned by mares. Is fixing his little
*********of a ship.Although I will give him points for the Burn he dished out. That was pretty funny. And watching him getting beat up constantly is a good bit of schadenfreude.
“Bah! Vouz avez plein de merde!” Sinrar gnashed his teeth. “Gravity has observable mathematical consistencies and it directly affects time!"
Dayum Sinrar! i knew you were smart.....but jesus....that is a whole nother level of knowledge beyond anything else ive ever seen in this story!
7101518
Sinrar = Einstein confirmed.
2017-05-18! Down to two years!
"Divine Dragons, you mean? Well, I've met two, so they definitely exist. Well, except for the one I killed, I guess."
I think that Theanim at this point knows that Sinrar has a point, but doesn't want to admit it, because if he was wrong about her divinity, than what else was he wrong about regarding Verlax?
07/28/2017
20:43 UTC
This feels very familiar.
ALL HAIL THE ALMIGHTY SEA SLUG
Wow, rude. I remember just enough of my high school French class to read this...
Ponies confirmed to have discovered general relativity.
We've been dipping into Theanim's POV, which iirc has only occurred so far for characters who eventually became party members. I wonder how this relationship will develop.
PFFT, Sinrar has a point. I welcome out new Sea Slug God Overlord!
She has visions of the universe breaking into pieces and will have to stare down a Frost Dragon. Plus she knows the ponies who control the Sun and Moon. Rainbow has an...odd relationship with reality at this point.
To be fair the old coot has gotten to talk to Luna, who one the same level as Frosty the Divine.