Proofreed and edited by https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Dreams+of+Ponies
Cheese Sandwich while coming back from a party he had planned goes to the local tavern for a drink. He later finds that he is not the only pony who travels across the country and has been affected by the mane 6. Though we know doesnt mean he does.
Interesting story, I think the characters are written very well. I do wish there was more of a plot to it, but for a simple conversation at a bar it's good. Good description and grammar, as well as a natural conversation flow.
I liked your story. It showed some good character development.
But I did notice a couple little errors. Somewhere near the third or fourth paragraph you have -
'lose' has the wrong tense. It should be 'lost'. And check the capitalization of that same sentence.
Those things don't bother me. But I mention them to you because I know from firsthand experience that some readers go crazy over that sort of thing. Causing them to overlook the good aspects of your story, and even 'dislike' it.
8072586 Oh didnt catch that thank you
Cheesy ending but great story! nice work Fable. 👍