Twilight Sparkle used to think that Manehattan was a huge city. This city, London, easily put that proud metropolis to shame. She had stopped counting the structures taller than the Crystaller Building after she had reached fifteen. The fact that all of this had been built without magic was mind-boggling. Clearly, humans must have a grasp of engineering far beyond any pony's.
The buildings were only the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Simple ground transportation was faster and more efficient than anything she had seen before. When Twilight had expressed her amazement at the vast network of paved roads, Emma had dismissed them as a mundane feature. Construction of such infrastructure with cobblestones from Canterlot to Ponyville alone would take all the construction ponies in Equestria several lifetimes. She had once been impressed by the hard-packed, magic-reinforced roadways of Manehattan's business district. They were nothing compared with the single superhighway they had just recently left behind.
She could scarcely imagine what human technology could do when coupled with human magic, to say nothing of the boost Equestrian magic would add. With expansion charms alone, her modest library could house more volumes than the Royal Canterlot Library. Earth ponies could travel at pegasus speeds without breaking a sweat. Ponies from around Equestria could come together without having to leave home.
The journey on the ribbon of black top came to an end all too soon as Emma Granger turned the overpowered go-cart into a building that seemed to be designed to store nothing but these vehicles. The Equestrians were amazed as they passed seven floors filled to capacity before Emma found a slot hidden between two behemoths.
“We’re here.” Emma declared, amusement evident in her voice. “I hope the trip didn’t traumatize you two too badly.”
In the Great Hall, the moans of Monday morning misery came to an abrupt halt when Professor McGonagall escorted seven young women to their table. Every eye was locked on the group as they demonstrated how dramatically shades of pink clashed with Slytherin green. Without comment, the transfiguration professor made her way to her seat at the staff table to have her own meal.
“At least they are wearing clothes this time,” a girl from Hufflepuff commented.
“That hair can’t be natural,” yet another added.
“Why are they sitting with the Slytherins?” asked a third.
“I sure hope they don't expect us to wear those hideous pink uniforms,” a Ravenclaw girl practically whined.
The chatter abruptly stopped again when the headmaster tapped his fork against his goblet. "Good morning, one and all," he said, standing up. “I would like to announce some changes to the faculty as well as some new additions to our school.”
The students all pointedly looked at the new girls in confusion and then back at Dumbledore.
“First of all,” Dumbledore said, “Mr. Goodman shall be taking the position of our Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.”
This proclamation was met with loud cheers and a good deal of clapping.
Dumbledore let the outbursts continue for a short time before raising a hand for silence. “In that vein, he will be employing a teacher’s assistant.” He waved his hand at a tall stranger with vivid hair, sitting next to their new DADA professor. “Please welcome Miss Berrytwist.”
More clapping was heard as the students studied the dangerously attractive woman with hungry eyes.
“Last, and certainly, not least,” Dumbledore said, “Professor Snape has accepted a septet of advanced students for postgraduate potions studies. Their responsibilities shall include supporting the teaching of his lower-division classes. With the extra help, he shall be able to devote more time to his advanced classes.” He paused for a second to let the news sink in. “All students who received Exceeds Expectations or above on their O.W.L.S. are now encouraged to continue potions at the N.E.W.T. level. If you are interested, please contact the head of your house and it shall be added to your schedule. The Ministry shall be providing books and supplies this year for those of you who take advantage of this opportunity.”
“Books!” Twilight hungrily exclaimed, breaking away from the two other women she had been walking with. She soon had her face pressed against a large plate glass window, drooling over the beauties just out of her reach. Lyra was less than two steps behind her.
Any other time, Emma would have laughed at the display, but this time, she was too busy staring at the dingy pub next to the bookstore.
The early-rising regulars of the Leaky Cauldron were treated to the spectacle of a young witch rolling out of the floo. She had tucked herself into a tight ball that evenly distributed the bruises as she tumbled half the length of the pub with her long yellow hair flailing like a banner. “Do not like!” she squealed after coming to a rest when she crashed into a chair.
A wizard poked his fork into his morning fry up. “First time in the floo?”
“AND LAST!” The yellow-haired woman seethed as the floo flared again, this time disgorging a young woman with lime green and aqua hair bisected neatly down the middle. What looked like the start of an uncontrolled tumble turned into an aerial cartwheel followed by a back handspring capped with a round-off.
As she rose from her bow, she strolled over to her companion and asked, "Barbie, what are you doing on the floor?"
“Shut up, Graceful.” Barbie barked as she struggled to her feet.
The next woman through demonstrated a perfect superhero landing, without the invulnerability.
“Looks like we are having a morning of newbies.” Another wizard abandoned his seat to quickly kneel beside the downed woman. "Let me have a look, I’m a healer.”
The next woman bowled him over as she stumbled out of the floo.
“Tom could charge admission for this entertainment,” a witch sitting at the bar commented.
“I need a quill and parchment to make a list,” Twilight moaned as she took in the titles of the books before her. “Lyra, why did you drag me out of my house before I was prepared?”
“Emma made me leave my saddle bags at her house. I’m in the same boat,” Lyra countered, her nose buried in a book on human physiology.
“You two are as bad as my daughter,” Emma said, looking at the pile of books Twilight had procured. “Tell you what, let’s just take this stack back to the car. I’ll put the purchase on my card, and you can pay me back when we get to the bank.”
“Oh.” Twilight grimaced, taking another book off a shelf. “I forgot I can’t just leave a promissory note. We do need to get money first before making a proper purchase.”
“Proper?” Emma eyed the stack that towered above her once more. “You may be even worse than Hermione.”
Despite sporting the trappings of a normal bank, Gringotts was very much like something from the Brothers Grimm. A normal muggle would have run away screaming at the first sight of a goblin guard. An HMRC agent would have recruited the floor manager on the spot.
The serious atmosphere was upended by the appearance of what could be described as a painfully pink parody of the Seven Dwarfs. Anyone mistaking Madam Hooch for Snow White would be in for a long stint in St. Mungo's. Somber conversation gave way to ill-concealed laughter from the witches and wizards. The normally stoic guards raised their eyebrows in surprise as the floor manager stormed over to confront this affront to goblin sensibilities.
Glaring at the group, Floor Manager Sharptack growled, "Normally, I could not care less what witches choose to wear, but your group looks like trouble. What business do you have today?”
Unfazed by the routine goblin bluntness Madam Hooch replied, "We are here to meet Arthur Weasley."
"There is no 'Arthur Weasley' here."
The priggish dowager Ironbottom marched over to confront the flagrantly brazen youngsters. "For shame!" she said. "How could you go out in public in such affronts to decency? I wouldn’t let my three year old great grandniece wear those shameful displays and mark my words, they would fit her better than they do you. Have you no shame? "
Madam Hooch said, "See here now, my students' only crimes are against fashion."
Ignoring her, Ironbottom said, "Don't you have anything to say for yourselves?"
Barbie stepped forward. "No," she said. "I'd rather sing.". As she drew in a deep breath, everyone inside could feel the magic building. Ironbottom's face fell as she realized that she had made a mistake of the highest order.
Arthur Weasley threw open the doors to Gringotts in time to witness an impossible sight. Goblins were intermingled with witches and wizards in a multi-tiered kick line. The normally reserved Mrs. Ironbottom was swinging from a chandelier, adding a surprising mezzosoprano to the chorus. As the last strains of melody died away, the spell was broken, and everyone went back to their business, fervently praying that no one had recorded the performance.
Arthur shifted uncomfortably in his three-piece suit as he located Madam Hooch. He clutched a plain, textbook-sized wooden box as he approached her. It came as no surprise that her entourage was blatantly non-conformal. "Good morning, ladies," he said to the youngsters. Nodding to their chaperone, he added, "Madam Hooch."
“Hello Mr. Weasley.” Madam Hooch returned. “Girls, say hello to Arthur Weasley.”
“Hello to Arthur Weasley,” the females promptly recited.
Arthur smiled at the icebreaker. "Please allow me to introduce myself properly. My name is Arthur Weasley, and I am the liaison between your government and the Ministry of Magic, the wizarding government. On behalf of the Ministry, I welcome you today. Yours is the first step of what we hope will be many to draw our two peoples together as friends and partners."
A spindly redhead stepped forward and replied, "Well met, Arthur Weasley. On behalf of Princess Celestia and her school, we welcome your services and give our sincere thanks for allowing us to pursue this opportunity to share knowledge."
Arthur said, "If you have any concerns or issues, please do not hesitate to contact me. I will do my best to resolve any issues. I know you're all eager to start your shopping, so let me start by giving you access to your funds." Opening the box, he displayed seven vault keys, in a velvet-lined holder. "Touching your vault key to a witch's or wizard's invoice will transfer the agreed upon sum from your vault to theirs." Picking up the first key from the array, he asked, "Which of you is Raspberry Crunch?"
“I am.”
“Here you go,” he said, handing over the key before proceeding to call each of the remaining Equestrians in turn.
A trio of tailgaters stopped as the helpful witch continued on her way through the wall, into Diagon Alley. Emma Granger looked, puzzled, as her colorfully coiffured companions gawked at the archway that had morphed from what had been a solid brick wall. She said, "I thought this sort of magic would be old hat for you two."
"It is," replied Lyra, "but this is different. I can't even begin to explain how beautiful this piece of spellwork is."
"What do you mean?" asked Emma.
"It is both creative and impressive," Twilight gushed. "It's like talking a starving Tazlwyrm into giving up its meal." She vibrated with excitement as she continued. "They didn't use brute force and ram the change through in one go. They synergistically linked several tiny spells in sequence. It's like rolling a snowball. Each small spell uses its energy and the energy from the previous spells to bootstrap the next. They didn't waste even a microthaum in mana to pass the Blueberry Hill power threshold; no flash of light, no field disturbance, all the energy went into triggering the spell. I can't even sense any mana crystals; it must be triggered by the witch's focus and pull the rest of what it needs from the ambient mana. I wish I had my horn. I could do a thorough analysis with it. We are so coming back for a closer look when I get my wand."
“Couldn’t you have done the same thing?” Emma asked, looking at the excited younger woman.
"Yes, but the user needs barely enough mana to blink an eye to run this spell. I would need approximately 0.56872 megathaums, and more than half of that would go into waste light and heat when the portal slammed open." She turned to Emma. "Are you sure the people here would notice a unicorn?"
Emma nodded.
Deflating slightly, Twilight pouted. "Fine. This is such a simple concept, but its potential applications are revolutionary. I can already see how I can adapt it for a disabled pony."
“Humans were always supposed to have been creative,” Lyra said. “Here’s proof.”
“Let’s hurry before it closes,” Emma said, darting through the portal.
“It’s like an entirely different world in here.” Lyra said, following her closely.
“This is a magic-dense area,” Emma offered, “completely different building styles.”
“I like it,” Lyra said calmly. “Where do we start?”
“I think you may be suffering from information overload,” Emma said.
“If this is suffering, then call me a masochist.”
With clinical detachment, Madam Hooch cataloged Barbie's breakfast: blueberry muffin, toast with marmalade, oatmeal, and tea. It was a pity that the use of wands was forbidden within Gringotts,
“Do not like!” Barbie declared loudly, exiting the minecart as fast as equinely possible. With nothing left to give, she dropped to her hands and knees and performed the traditional earth pony field blessing.
“Oh, come on. On the Jolting Thrill Coaster Scale, this barely ranks above 'hold my hoof, mommy'," said Graceful Charm from her seat on the railed conveyance. "Besides, you knew it was going to be a rough ride. Why did you do it?"
"It seemed like a good idea at the time," replied Barbie.
The transfigured pony unsteadily rose to her feet and turned to face the car. The small human-like creature who had guided the vehicle leered obscenely at her, showing an alarming number of pointed teeth. Weakly, Barbie returned the smile. "So, what are you doing after work?" The goblin's smile vanished in a heartbeat.
In a show of tribal unity, an earth pony mare and a unicorn mare trotted up the road to the schoolhouse while a grey pegasus colt nervously hovered above them. When the building came into view, so did their objective. The giant three-headed dog was sitting in front of the door, wagging its tail as it held a stick in its center mouth.
Rarity called out, "Fluffy! Here, boy!"
The ground trembled as the pet dashed over to greet her. His center head bowed down and gently dropped a slobber-covered stick at her forehooves.
With ill-concealed rupophobia, Rarity picked up the stick with her telekinesis. "Here you go. Fetch!"
Fluffy watched the stick sail toward Sweet Apple Acres, waiting for it to fall before racing after it."
At a leisurely pace, Rarity followed the dog. She stopped when Fluffy returned and dropped the stick at her forehooves. Mayor Mare asked skeptically, "So, you'll be able to take it back home?"
“Yes,” Rarity said. “I’ll just walk him back home. I am sure Applejack will be upset over the panic he has caused.”
“Thank you for helping,” Mayor Mare said. “I’ll just go over and reassure Cheerilee and the children.”
“Ta ta,” Rarity said, flinging the stick once more.
Muttering to herself, the mayor made her way into the schoolhouse to find the entire class huddled in a corner while Cheerilee stood close to a window looking at her expectantly. “Don’t worry,” the mayor said. “Fluffy is being taken home.”
“Fluffy!?” the accumulated equines in the room cried in shrill disbelief.
“Yeah," Rumble said, coming up from behind the mayor. “That’s the name Apple Bloom gave to her new pet.”
There was a pregnant pause before a filly in the pile asked, “Mayor Mare, can you make a law so that the Crusaders aren’t allowed to hang out with Fluttershy anymore?”
“Yeah,” added a colt. “Sweetie Belle has a pet unicorn, and now Apple Bloom has Fluffy. I don’t want to find out what kind of monster Scootaloo thinks is cool.”
A wave of agreement emanated from the pile of foals.
“By the way,” a filly said, “you owe me ten bits Dust Stomper; that was totally on the Crusaders' tally.”
In reasonably short order, normalcy had returned to Gringotts. This time, the patrons took pains to ignore the witches with colorful hair and elegantly casual clothing that was far more fashionable than anything that could be produced in Diagon Alley.
“Good morning, sir,” Twilight said to the teller when her turn came. “I would like to withdraw some money please.”
The teller, who Emma had identified as a goblin, looked at her with palpable surprise. “Of course. Do you have your vault key?”
“Yes!” Twilight said, fishing the requested object out of a pocket. “Here.”
The goblin took the key from Twilight’s hand and examined it. “This is a main vault key for one of our top depositors. How did you acquire it?” The last was said with a snarl.
Slightly taken aback, Twilight said. “Applejack lent it to me this morning when we went over to collect Lodestone.”
“You expect me to believe that the owner of this vault ‘lent’ it to you, no questions asked?”
“Well, yes. I did promise to reimburse her.”
“I would be a fool to let just any witch who walks in off the street have unlimited access to this vault.” The teller's snarl did not vanish and he glanced down to check something hidden from her view. “It just so happens that the wizard in charge of this account is currently in the bank talking to his account manager. You can take it up with him.”
“Arthur Weasley is here?” Twilight said, relief flooding her features. “Yes, please, I’d love to talk to him.”
The teller fixed her with a glare that did not soften. He motioned and another goblin ran up. Handing the key to the new goblin, he said. “Take this witch to see Tricksno. Make sure she doesn’t stray.”
Twilight glanced at the runner then back at the teller. “Thank you for the extra caution, it is appreciated.”
The teller grunted. “That remains to be seen.” Then, he barked out, “Next!”
Monday morning breakfast quietly ended in the Great Hall. As usual, the Gryffindor first-years found themselves at the center of attention. Philomena had taken advantage of the situation to help herself to a few extra rashers of bacon. Shyly, the first-year witches from the other houses had taken advantage of the situation in a different manner, filing past the resident unicorn and petting her on the way out.
“She’s asleep on her feet,” Neville said as he wiped his mouth on his napkin. Magah had forgone breakfast and was softly snoring where she stood behind Sweetie Belle.
“No surprise there,” Terisa said. “How do you get a unicorn drunk in the first place?”
“Give her lots of alcohol?” Scootaloo offered helpfully.
“I meant, how do you get her to drink alcohol in the first place?”
“Offer her mixed drinks?” Sweetie Belle suggested. “Rarity says some of the most potent things she had ever drunk had hidden kicks.”
Terisa looked first at Sweetie then back at Magah. “Put her necklace on, and I’ll take her back to the dorms to sleep it off. I have a free period.”
“Thanks, Terisa,” Sweetie said as she produced a familiar necklace. In quick order, it was placed over the sleeping unicorn’s neck. It was at this point that the reason that humans do not sleep standing up made itself known.
*Thump!*
“Bakon?”
Anyone who worked in business had their equivalent of Monday morning. Tricksno irritably reminded himself of that fact as he attempted to explain a particularly complicated transaction to his primary client. The knock on his door derailed his train of thought. Everyone in the bank knew how important this meeting was; this must be something critical. Gruffly, he said, "Come in."
The door opened, and three human women filed in, followed by a runner. The runner closed the door behind himself before hurrying over to Triksno offering a key and a whisper.
“Hello, Arthur Weasley,” the purple-haired woman said cheerfully with a wave.
“Miss Sparkle?” Arthur said, recognizing the voice and the distinct hair. He stood up and offered his hand. “I hadn’t expected you to show up this morning.”
The mint green haired woman rushed forward and enthusiastically clasped Arthur’s hand with both of her own. “Good morning, Arthur Weasley.”
Arthur quickly searched his memory for a name from the long list of ponies he had recently met. “Miss Bon Bon? What a pleasant surprise. And Mrs. Granger as well. Good morning.”
“It’s Lyra actually,” Lyra said, unconcerned. “Bon Bon is my partner.”
“You know these witches?” Tricksno said. “They were attempting to withdraw money from your main vault. Again, defeating the purpose of spending accounts, I might add.”
“We don’t mean to cause any problems,” Twilight said. “But we didn’t want to interrupt the girls at school to get one of their keys. Applejack lent me her key instead.”
Tricksno looked at the key in his hand before nudging it across his desk in Arthur’s direction. “Did you want discretionary vaults for these women and ‘Applejack’ as well?”
“Most likely,” Arthur said as Lyra continued to study his hand, which she had yet to release. “Though I will need to speak with Mrs. Belle and Mrs. Applejack first. No offense, Miss Sparkle.”
“None taken.” Twilight smiled. “I completely understand.”
“Then just for Mrs. Belle and Mrs. Applejack?” The goblin prodded.
“And Rainbow Dash.” Twilight said.
The goblin ignored her and focused his gaze on Arthur, who nodded.
“In the meantime,” Arthur said, fishing in his own pocket, “use my key for any purchases you might make today.”
“Thanks,” Twilight said, accepting the key from Arthur. “I will reimburse you.”
“There is no need.” Arthur shook his head. “If you wouldn’t mind waiting, I’ll complete my meeting with Tricksno and will be glad to escort you around.”
“Do you know where Sirius Black’s house is?” Twilight asked hopefully.
“I believe I know how to contact him.”
“I’m going to take them over to get some wands,” Mrs. Granger spoke up. “We’ll be doing that while you finish up your meeting, and we are sorry to interrupt.”
“I’ll find you in the alley when I’m done here, then.” Arthur grinned.
“Sorry for the inconvenience,” Twilight echoed, concentrating on Tricksno. “And thank you for the security and professionalism you have extended toward the girls' account.”
Tricksno grunted and motioned toward the runner. “Show these witches to the front door.”
After the excitement from her unexpected Sunday customers, Madam Malkin was expecting the rest of her week to devolve into the muddled miasma of slack times. Her ears perked at the unfamiliar sound of seven-part harmony. The lyrics promised excitement and adventure, with rich rewards for hard work.
With a jangle, the bell above her door announced a Hogwarts faculty member and her painfully pink pupils. With a gradual diminuendo, their song ended. Madam Malkin could practically feel the galleons in her purse. Seven adult-sized wardrobes would mean a pretty profit; who cares if they sported candy-colored hair?
Madam Hooch could swear she could see the galleon signs in the seamstress's eyes when Madam Malkin said, “Welcome to Madam Malkin’s Robes for All Occasions.”
Eagerly, Barbie said, "I like!"
Puzzled by her friend's enthusiasm, Graceful Charm said, "I thought you said that school uniforms were boring."
With a practiced whip of her mane, Barbie replied, "Yeah, but I make them look good."
The air was electric with anticipation as Emma led Twilight and Lyra to Ollivander's. The bell above the door gave a delicate tinkle as Emma walked in to the familiar sight of shelf after shelf of small rectangular boxes. She said, "Just to let you know, the proprietor likes to sneak up on you."
"You're giving away all of my secrets," Ollivander said as he stepped out of the shadows. To his disappointment, the newcomers had separated, ready for action, and had been staring in his direction before he had emerged.
Blushing, Emma replied, "I'm sorry."
“Ah, Equestrians here for their first wands,” Ollivander said, running his gaze over the two women with chromatic hair. “And Mrs. Granger, you were here earlier this year for your daughter’s first wand as well.”
“Yes, sir,” Emma said. “I would like to try a wand as well.”
“You seek a wand?” he asked, returning his gaze to her. As he scrutinized her, he raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Oh my! How very very curious. Yes, very curious indeed. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered this situation before. I dare say that you are the very embodiment of change. How ever did you accomplish this?”
“Healthy eating,” Emma responded.
“I see.” Ollivander brought out his trademark measuring tape. “Very well, which is your wand hand?”
“Actually, I’m a descendant of Lucinda Kirkland, nee Lestrange.” Emma decided she should offer some explanation as she indicated her right hand.
“Did you find something questionable in the Lestrange family vaults?” Ollivander asked, taking measurements. “That would account for your altered status.”
“Why would I have access to their vaults?” Emma asked.
“Since the only other remaining family members are incarcerated, I would have assumed that you secured ownership.”
“I was not aware that they were in prison.” Emma mused, biting her lower lip.
“Try swishing this,” Ollivander said as he handed her a wand, “twelve-inch ash with unicorn hair.”
As Emma swished a wand for the very first time, Garrick Ollivander made history. He became the first in his family to appreciate the wisdom of emergency pants.
In the non-restricted greenhouse, the Gryffindor first-years were busy getting their hands, and other body parts, dirty.
“Ah’m starting to hate pussy willow,” Apple Bloom grumbled as she attempted to return an overly-affectionate plant to its pot.
“It’s not so bad,” Harry said, manhandling his own plant. “You just need to remember to stay five feet away from them all times. They seem to like you.”
“And Neville,” Luna noted. “Shouldn’t we help him, Susan, and Lavender?”
“Mind the spitting tulips.” Ginny warned as she attempted to work her robe free from the floor.
“I hope the professor gets here soon.” Seamus complained, walking uncomfortably. "You don't want to know where that bouncing bulb's been.
Amid the more normal destruction, Ollivander noticed one of the women wasn’t paying attention to the wand selection as Emma made her seventh attempt a success.
Ollivander was surprised to find that one of the women had lost interest in Emma's struggles. He gave a hint of a frown. Discovering the right wand was an experience to be shared between friends and family. “Eleven inches, fir with the heartstring of a Swedish short-snout,” Ollivander said before turning to the preoccupied young woman. “You seem distracted.”
“Something is calling to me from the back room,” the purple-haired woman said, moving slowly in the direction she indicated.
“Then by all means,” Ollivander said, providing the only encouragement the woman needed. She hurried into his studio and immediately crossed over to his workbench. With unerring hands, she reached for his newest creation, one of several commissioned recently and the only one complete. It leapt across the room, into her hand, like a dog welcoming a long-absent friend.
“This feels like Princess Celestia,” she cooed in awe.
Highly conscious that the woman somehow recognized the source his patron had mentioned, Ollivander said, “I am very sorry, but that wand is not for sale. It is a commissioned piece with a core made from materials I do not own.”
“This is my wand,” the woman said as she studied the focus with glistening eyes. “I can feel that it is my wand.”
“I am sorry,” Ollivander said again. “That wand belongs to Miss Scoot Aloo.”
“Scootaloo has a wand already,” the woman said, not taking her eyes off the object in her hands. “She showed it to me yesterday.”
“Be that as it may,” Ollivander insisted, “this too belongs to her. I’m afraid I cannot sell it to you.” Then, with a more encouraging tone, he continued, “However, she may be willing to part with it if you approach her. That wand is made from elder, a most fitting material for such a powerful core. I suspect that it will not respond well, if at all, for anyone but you.”
“So, I just need to have Scootaloo tell you to sell it to me first?” the woman asked.
“The wand belongs to Miss Aloo, she can sell or give it to you at her own discretion.”
“I’m sure she won’t have a problem with it,” the woman said as the two other women looked over Ollivander’s shoulders at the scene. “Just let me take it with me, and I’ll talk to her about it.”
“You seem confident that she will relinquish that wand.” Ollivander was getting worried; he didn’t want the young girl put in danger by a potentially volatile strange woman.
“Her adoptive mother to be is one of my five closest friends,” the woman replied. “This is not going to be a problem.”
“Very well,” Ollivander said, not wanting to upset the woman who was bonding so strongly with a notably powerful wand. So much so, that it was starting to hum in her hands, thereby finalizing the bond. “If you swear on your magic not to harm Miss Aloo or any others directly or indirectly based on your intent to own that wand, I shall let you leave here with it today.”
“What?” The woman tore her gaze away from the wand to stare at Ollivander in horror. “I would never harm anypony except in defense of others or myself, and then I would try to subdue first if at all possible.”
As she spoke the last word, a double helix of rainbow light wrapped around her. The tail of each helix raced up to its head. The magic compressed into a point before exploding onto the ceiling in the form of a pink six-pointed star covering all but the points of a smaller white six-pointed star. Five small white six-pointed stars surrounded the large pink star.
Ollivander stared into her eyes looking for deception. “I believe you.” He finally said. There really was no choice anymore. As the wand’s maker he could tell that it would not lightly suffer being separated from the woman who held it.
Interesting the wand's reaction to Twilight
9273174 NOT in AMERICA dude..
Here's an idea if you dislike this story nothing is making you read it
9273174
You seem to be spreading that around a lot, is this in pursuit of something?
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Guys, do not feed the troll.
Great update! Keep up the wonderful work!
9273174
Sense makes is none.
9273250
Fascinating. while there is indeed a general air of optimism on the site, I'm certain some controversy might be found to slake your schadenfreude. There are some great fights in the If wishes were ponies comments.
On the other hand, if you just want some good old fashioned misery, I'd suggest Fallout Equestria. or, for something simply tragic, Deadman's Gun
I am curious to hear your selection criteria for this endeavor, is it semi-random? Do you just hit the featured box and call it good? Perhaps the top 100 highest rated stories? How long do you intend to spend on this? Admittedly, with a selection of pre-prepared images, little effort need be applied. (Proper Preparation and all that, always a good idea) But with such vague criteria how can anyone be expected to adjust to your rather opaque standards?
In any case, judging by the Eagle, I can assume you've a high opinion of the second amendment. I do as well! Proper dialogue depends on the ability and willingness of all parties to participate in free and open discourse. In fact, talking to people and writing is one of my favorite things to do! Of course, sometimes other folks aren't as interested as I in discussion, and that's alright, but one can generally assume a reply to indicate an interest, yes?
Oh! One more thing before I go, I never did ask you what sort of writing you were looking for. As an avid bibliophile, I can easily read tens of thousands of words a day, I'm certain I can recommend something to you if you are in fact looking.
I wonder why you've made Harry into a throwaway character in his own franchise's setting.
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Well, the pony universes abhor naysayers... So you can't measure it by this universe's bylaws... So shtaap plz
La, la-la la la laaa. La la laaa. La la laaaa!
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A reply! We have a dialogue! As I suspected, an array of pre-selected images works very well! Alas for poor Guilty Spark, he just wanted to do his job. I honestly felt kind of sorry for him, though I admit he wasn't much of a tour guide, always having to rush off and handle something.
Personally though, I prefer Wheatley. Such a clever fellow.
camo.derpicdn.net/962f04dfed5026bbc258dc9fc69be29173eaac4c?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redditmedia.com%2F6S1-PSTlAv9C1amvx04kxheQkPHWXPjV1E7-FvAWoC0.jpg%3Fw%3D632%26s%3Db72fd5a5203af92747721516f47f6da9
Anyway, since you didn't make any particular preferences known, (did you perchance miss my offer?) I took the liberty of picking a nice selection of quality stories. I'm certain you'll find something worth your while!
First up, Nfire's Legacy is an epic story of love, comedy, and many, many explosions. It's over 1.4 million words long, but don't let that scare you off! Nfire has done a great job of keeping his story modular and readable. In all honesty, it feels just like an alternative script of the show itself, each chapter taking up about as much narrative space as an average episode. A pretty impressive trick, truth be told.
On the other side of the spectrum, Cackling Moron's loose collection of stories starting with Just tell me the nasty bits barely tops over 26K. They encompass a slow, awkward, thoroughly adorable romantic comedy featuring Rainbow Dash and a particularly oblivious human. So many romances go the route of Fated Love, but not this one! This story is about two people slowly realizing that they actually have feelings for one another, and then figuring out what to do about it.
And for a third and final option, Bucking Nonsense's Who Is This Lord Tirek You Speak Of. which is, as the author's name suggests, utter nonsense. There's Discord, there's a human, there's a Tirek, there are changelings, and there is far too much alcohol. You see that "random" tag? This story earned that tag, and it dares anyone to try and take it away!
Was any of this helpful? I am really enjoying our discussion, and hope to hear back from you soon!
..... Oh god. Twilight found her wand
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You should put in links
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/238582/legacy
https://www.fimfiction.net/stories?q=Just+tell+me+the+nasty+bits+
https://www.fimfiction.net/stories?q=+Who+Is+This+Lord+Tirek+You+Speak+Of%3F+
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https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=lyrics+so+happy+together+by+the+beatles&&view=detail&mid=A5335CD49A201BBD7790A5335CD49A201BBD7790&&FORM=VRDGAR
Yay, a quick update!
Yes, change is coming.
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You're absolutely right, I should do that! Thank you for reminding me.
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Jesus Christ! You made me fall out of my chair in sheer cold, gripping fear. You come off as too cheery, almost to the point it freezes my blood. If you were gonna roleplay a character like Spark, you'd have my vote. Anyhoo, it caught my attention enough to do this shmevel... -grumbles-
First on the roster: Article II from Muppetz. Features our intrepid Major Shane Doran as he landed on the planet of the Equestrians. I'll be damned if I don't enjoy how he fucks around with the Equestrian alicorns as he lives amongst them in their castle as he searches for a way home.
Second on this confeddled list: Cold In Gardez's In the Garden of Good and Evil. This one had our friend Twilight accepting an invitation to a party held by Luna. Unfortunately, it was a party that involved plenty of orgy sex in preparation for a sacrificial event. This event feautured Luna having to kill a certain stag in order to right some kind of sin she committed as Nightmare Moon. It was written fairly well to warrant me hating whatever force was causing that forced event. I would have kicked its ass if I could.
Third: Try the original Friendship is Optimal by Iceman for size. Features a cyberized Matrix-esque world that featured Celestia and her agents as she tries to convert people to the MLP virtual game universe. That story spawned a good number of sequels, some of which I actually read.
Fourth: MIA by Gravity's Rainboom will be quite a read. Chronicles Jorge from Halo Reach's journey and adjustment as he learns to cope with the various challenges of living in Equestria. I've always been biased towards Halo fics, so yeah, this one was special. It was never finished.
Fifth: The Last Human: A Tale of the Pre-Classical Era by Patchwork Poltergeist. This one had a tale of one of the last humans of Earth seemingly adjusting to his journey with the legendary Starswirl and another companion as he sought to find himself amongst the burgeoning Pony races. This was the time before the Celestial sisters, mind you.
These stories were all examples of some of the finest of this site's Golden Era, and were WORTHY of the Featured List, not the garbage slice of life crap that seems to be the prevalent thing now.
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Ah, so you do talk. I'll try and tamp down the enthusiasm then.
I confess, I've never gotten around to reading Friendship is Optimal, though I really should. I've read the rest of them though, excluding In the Garden of Good and Evil, (that's not really my pot of tea) and did enjoy them thoroughly. It really is a pity MIA was put on hiatus, and on such a cliffhanger too!
I see you like action, adventure, and plenty of humans-being-awesome. Have you read drawn with the night? I suspect you'd like that one.
Me thinks dumbledore is in for it if he tries anything around twilight.
Why every mothers say the exact same thing?
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To be fair, slice of life stories can be good, it just helps if they were longer than one chapter, or 5k words, as the best slice of life stories, often delve into character interactions, growths, and personal conflicts, that just can't seem to happen realistically within those kinds of short stories, and I for one agree with you that too much of those kind have been invading the feature box, but not all slice of life, at least in my opinion, is necessarrily bad.
.....to put it simply. Let people enjoy things.
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These stories have been hitting the featured box as a result of the MLP series maturing. Maturing here means that at this stage of the MLP franchise, the fandom, at least here at FIMFic, has reached a point of decline. The writers who were once enthusiastic about the stories I liked have all left due to FIM dipping in popularity. This has left a vacuum of quality stories. Stories that would have been passed over 4 or 5 years ago now have a shot for the featured box. These slice of life stories are easier to write, and need fewer words and chapters. The expectation of quality has gone down as a result. I mean, if all that hits the box is substandard, you'd have to adapt or just leave the site for other activities of interest.
Eh, I came to this site back in what, 2012? Season 2 was ending and Season 3 had started then. I've been on and off this site for years. Through that time I read some pretty amazing things here. I've been more of a loner and always liked situations where a small group fall onto distant worlds with aliens (curse you Halo and other sci-fi games). So yeah, Human in Equestria was my jam. Some of the stories about that were of descent quality enough to stick around.
Do I like FIM itself? No. I don't watch the show. Fanfiction.net is just garbage, so here I actually found something worth of value, even if it was ponies. I could tolerate it since these stories did not have audio or video. I'm a big reading guy, perhaps I should look into actual novels of sci-fi rather than this stuff.
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sense? what is sense? So says everyone. anyway, where is the fun in making sense. it is much more enjoyable to baffle everyone.
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Wazzat? You gonna go all Tiny on me? I'll call in the Bandicoot if you have thoughts of going Tiny, little rabbit.
pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1012546260480323585/6g__Xdr9_400x400.jpg
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I have no idea what any of that meant. Though since you have switched from attacking an argument to attacking a person you can now be reported as such.
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Can't say that I blame you for having that kind of an opinion. I got into this fandom halfway through the third season, and I'm a shit author. Hell, my first story I wanted to be a dark, gritty slice of life, and what came out of my mind was about Scootaloo being raped and the events that happened thereafter. I'm trying to better my craft. I thought that writing something concerning HIE's would be good. It'd deal with a mindset, that I was somewhat familiar with, being a human myself, instead of the different intricacies that a pony's mind would have. That story actually was pretty good, and I got into the lore of the world as well, but near the end, I just felt like I was adding too much to the story, and I decided to just off it. There wasn't anybody that liked it as well anymore, nor were there deliberate discussions going on in the comments section. There were just cries of first and various things that people wanted to see in the story, when I'd already planned out what I wanted to do with the character. So, I just quit. I wrote story ideas down, of course. Because you never know when inspiration might hit you, but I feel like this thing has happened to nearly all the people that are on the website. At some point, they did write a story. At some point, they tried to better themselves at something that they loved to do. They cranked out chapter after chapter on a somewhat weekly basis, and the work showed that they put thought and effort into it. But, eventually, they took their craft elsewhere. Most of the famous writers on this site are, in fact, still writing in some capacity, whether it be writing on site, or off using their real names (majority). Those who aren't are either dead, dying, or felt like writing wasn't one of their better qualities and left to pursue different opportunities in life. Life has a habit of ruining things that it puts into creation. That is the best and worst quirk it has. Nowadays, there's a lot of one-shots, true. However, it's up to us to make it so other things are put into the feature box. If we want good, long drawn out, epic stories to be put into the feature box, it's up to us to put them there. I'm trying my hardest right now, and I promise that by New Years, my story is going to be up there. And it's going to be great. I'm just wondering whether or not anyone else is willing to join the cause of putting those kinds of stories up, because as I see it, most users are readers instead of authors, and I want that to change.
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Attacking you, how, may I ask?
20 Bits say it‘s going to be a certain gigant Snek from a certain Chamber.
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I can see it that or one of arragog's offspring
P.S. there has never been a more appropriate use of this emoji I can think of then the one here
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Interesting that these are considered the gems of the golden age, because with the exception of Friendship is Optimal, I found most of these to be... mediocre at best. Perhaps it shows, rather than a decline in quality, that the fandom itself has changed in what it likes? I notice most of those stories are various kinds of twists of Equestria, for the lack of a better term, either trying to make things darker and edgier or being a running critique of Equestria as the show presents it. The current crop of writers and readers seems to be less interested in those kinds of stories, and more content with stories that fit the overall tone of the show more closely.
Why is it the first thing I thought was Basiliks when the foals mentioned Scootaloo getting a pet as well, admitedly the second was Voldemort. Interesting method of dealing with agression before they got their full wardrobe by the post graduate students. Surprising Olivander stuck by his "That wand is sold" when it clearly chose someone else I'd have thought he'd have put that as a higher priority then apologized to Scootaloo, or asked Twilight if she could perhaps get some more of that core material to make a replacement wand with. I see Emma and presumably Dan have awakened their magic with their unicorn play that's going to send ripples through the community as well.
Finally what is a HMRC agent all I could find is that its something to do with tax in the UK but I don't know what the acronym is.
The art of Magic...
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Grumble... Really hate it when comments get deleted.. What was said in that one?
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Nothing word-wise, one of those meme-image thingies people use these days. Honestly, my memory is terrible, but I think it was something to the nature of "this story is horrible, change it or delete it. and nobody but the author respond to me, I have an Opinion and refuse to change it"
He said it with more nuance, but that's the impression I recall.
9273872 Basically Venrable RO hit it on the head
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Harry was always a throw away character. That was kinda the point of Dumbledore's plan
Great chapter!
I'm putting money on the basilisk.
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Giant Spider from Aragog's horde.
Or Remus Lupin .
As a side bet, I'm wagering on Pinkie Pie somehow having a perpetually stunned Dementor towed along helplessly behind her.
Everyone is saying a minion of Aragog, or a certain giant Snek.... But what about Norbert? Scoots standing proudly on it's head, while her mighty dragon steed flies her between classes. :P
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Lol
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I would argue that Harry's barely a character here.
That groaning sound you just heard was the Statute of Secrecy anticipating its gory demise.
Heh. Berrytwist isn't even that unusual a last name among wizards.
You have no idea...
Simple visual evidence does suggest that human magic is much more efficient that unicorn magic. Even wandless effects don't have much flash to them, if any.
I like how you handle the goblins. They are quite reasonable businessbeings when you look past the snarls.
Yeah, you're going to have to pry that wand out of Twilight's cold, dead appendages. And Emma has quite the inheritance to look into...
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I'm going to say Peeves will call her "Mistress" and wish to learn her ways of spreading mayhem.
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Just saw this post and I have to say personally I've developed a hatred of "Lets make this darker and edgier." not even just in fanfics its cropping up in main stream media too.
Man of steel - lets make superman darker and edgier, ok i'll watch this "Superman snaps Zods neck" . . . ummm ok not really my thing and kind of against the point of superman but ok if that's where you want to go with your film.
Riverdale - lets make Archie comics darker and grittier, ok I'll take a look "Archie has sex with his teacher, a character is murdered, the brilliant scientist is now a gun runner" . . . nope not watching this.
Chronicles of Sabrina - lets make sabrina the teenage witch darker and edgier, ok I'll look into this "Sabrina's witchcraft now involves satanism and her being a bride of satan along with Harvey apparently being killed" . . . nope not watching this.
DC Titans - lets make the teen titans darker and edgier . . . yeah I'm not even going to look into this.
I know there are people who like that kind of show but when its so massively different to the source material I can't shake the feeling you've produced a generic dark and gritty show then slapped a coat of other media on it in the hopes of attracting fans while ignoring the fact a lot of fans liked the light tone of the original source.
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Nah, he'd pledge loyalty to the entirety of the CMC, not just scoots. Besides, if he pledged to only one, it'd be Sweetie.