Twilight pushed open the doors to her castle with a tired sigh and slowly made her way into the dimly lit kitchen. She was half expecting her friends to be waiting impatiently at the train station for her return, but it was 1am and a few of them had actual lives and jobs and stuff like that. The trip home had been more uncomfortable than usual; her neck had been stiff the entire time, not surprising considering the semi-accidental decapitation she has just suffered. Luckily, the other two princesses had managed to snap her head back into place with a noise and effort uncannily similar to snapping toy building blocks together.
Carefully flying up, she began to untie all the 'Twilight Kicked The Bucket' banners from her walls and ceiling. There were... a surprising amount of decorations prepared for her death. They were all in shockingly high quality too, clearly not a rushed job. Just how long had Pinkie been preparing for her death for? Probably better for her own emotional state not to ask.
At least somepony, or more likely, somedragon had done her dishes. As much of a slob as she could be at times, the one thing she would not stand for was dirty dishes lying around. So many research papers on the bacterial hazards that can bring into the household.
With another gentle sigh, she sat herself down at the table. She had never gone this long without reading before. In her defense, she was dead for most of the duration, but still! This was unacceptable.
Her kitchen table had been covered in flowers from the mourning ponies the day before, but they were in the way of her reading, so she shoved the entire pile of them into a large vase and placed it rather roughly on the windowsill. It was finally time to get back to work. Surprisingly, the spooky looking book that has apparently killed her was still sitting open on the kitchen table, as if nopony saw it, or at least, nopony felt brave enough to move it.
Twilight immediately plopped herself down and began studying the pages again, trying to make sense of the weird squiggles and un-equine writing that permeated most of the pages. An ignorant pony might have thought the fact that she was studying a book at 1am in the morning was due to her new afflicted form and the lack of sleep it required, but no, she was just like that. She considered it 'getting to bed at a good time' so long as she had fallen unconscious at the table before the sun came up, but now she didn't even have to worry about that!
Part of her brain was clearly starting to register her new state of being as a somewhat beneficial thing. Imagine all the time she could have saved throughout her life by never having to sleep or drink during her studying! All the books she could have read in that time! She still apparently needed to eat, though neither Luna or Celestia were aware of exactly what it was that she had to consume.
Seconds turned into minutes, and minutes quickly gave way to hours, yet Twilight did not stop her frenzied examination of the book. It had been a couple hours now, just past 3am, when 'something' finally startled her from her studying.
That 'something' having been a large scythe blade suddenly pierced through her chest.
She slowly turned around, (well, as far around as she could with her body pinned to the chair via stab wound,) and glanced backwards at what appeared to be a young foal. They were small, smaller than the crusaders, and covered head to hoof in a wispy black cloak. Despite their diminutive stature, they were gripping the scythe nearly triple their height with just their mouth.
Twilight blinked a few times. "Can... I help you?" She asked. How to be a Normal Functioning Member of Society didn't prepare her for this! Unless maybe the section on being mugged would be appropriate? No, that chapter specifically mentions knives and other short bladed weapons, not farming implements! Useless book!
The foal looked up with her in alarm, their hood falling off their head with the movement, revealing a young, white coated foal in a long black cloak. "Oh gosh." They said in a nervous voice. "It didn't work. Why didn't it work? It's never not worked!"
Twilight could only assume it was a young colt by the voice, though with children it was always so hard to tell. "Is something wrong?" The impaled mare asked patiently. She was used to dealing with foals, with the constant tutoring the CMC needed. Foals were easier to understand than most ponies, so they made surprisingly good company. Terrible conversationalists, though. Parents need to teach their children better if they don't even understand basic quantum-arcano theories.
The colt continued fretting. "Maybe if I try again?" He mumbled to himself, pulling the large scythe out and impaling it into a different part of Twilight's back. "Did it work this time?" He asked her.
Twilight blinked, looking down at the second puncture wound. Neither appeared to be bleeding, perhaps she was finally all coagulated. "Did what work?" She asked back at him.
"Darn!" He cursed, rubbing his eyes with his hooves. "Shoot! Crud!" He continued shouting out the worst swears most foals know. "I'm going to be in so much trouble." He whimpered, dropping the scythe to the floor with a heavy 'thunk' and sitting down, wrapping his forelegs around his knees and burying his face into his cloak.
Now, although the child had just stabbed her twice, clearly the existence of a crying colt was a much bigger deal that her large gaping wounds. Standing up from her seat, Twilight walked over to the little guy and say down beside him. "Are you okay?" She asked, silently thanking How to be a Normal Functioning Member of Society and apologizing to it. The book did, at least, have a chapter covering comforting crying ponies.
"You're dead." The colt whimpered.
"Yes, I am." Twilight replied helpfully.
"Then why didn't it work!" He shouted, staring up at her with watery eyes. Eyes, that she had just noticed, were lacking any form of iris or pupil. They were just bright white. Weird. Some sort of ocular disease, perhaps? "It's supposed to work when ponies are dead and aren't leaving their corpses! This is my job!"
"Your job? What's your job?" She asked, gently patting the colt on the back.
"I'm Death." He replied, before going back to crying.
d'aww hes adorable
Twilight will have a personal Death living with her under the same roof?
Eeeviiiilll!
Unless those souls are suffering in their bodies. Hrm.
Unusual scythe size. Wonder what's causing it to just be colt. Some kind of passing-of-the-torch thing, where he got tricked/graduated into being Death?
...Twilight's going to end up being Death #2, isn't she?
Huh, I gotta get me a copy of that.
11492170
And all i can think of now is the My best Friend Plank song but with Death
11492177
That book would sell like fucking hotcakes nowadays.
11492196
I don't know about that it's clearly useless for it does not cover what to do when the blade is bigger then a short knife
11492173 If he's anything like the DEATH of the Diskworld or Piers Anthony's Invcarnations of Immortaility books, he's actually a psychopomp. He doesn't kill anypony, he just comes along after they die and frees their soul from their body and either sends it or guides it on to the afterlife. Not evil at all.
Poor little Death.
Change is good.
More study is even better.
All the best with your new direction mate!
"So you are not going to leave?"
"My job is to lead you to the other side when you are ready."
"You know I am an alacorns?"
" yea."
"How old was the last one that went there."
"... so I am stuck here forever?!"
"I guess you are my pony son now. Death: the son of Twilight the greatest necromancer!"
"...does that mean you will keep me from getting in trouble? Who could blame me for not killing my new mom... the necromancer."
"Teach me everything you know about the dead, and I will teach you the power of using politics to never get in trouble."
11492170
Why can I imagine him helping Spike with the chores and going out with the CMCs?
I'm glad I finally read this, it's very entertaining!
11492344
logical reason: then no one will suspect him of an otherworldly being, whom everyone is afraid of, because he/she/it will live like a normal foal.
normal reason: because it will be very cute.
11492386
Aw shoot, the moderators are here. Time to pack it in, story's over.
This is adorable and I love it.
I absolutely adore it when depictions of alicorn Twilight still has her as a lowkey, awkward, night-owl, social disaster at heart despite her princessly status.
Wish you the best of luck in your new carer, also, is nice to read you again!
I can already tell Death is going to be my favourite character.
Shouldn't death be an adult why is she a foal?
"I'm Death."
He's straight up Death.
Latest puss-in-boots asside
11492555
It seems death is a job not unlike in The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy just less boney or Soul Society of the Bleach series (which seems to fit a bit more).
So there's probably an afterlife society that deals with problem casses of souls stuck where they shouldn't be and the little one being the new kid on the block.
11492170
In a game of Sims 3 So many other Sims died at my true immortal vampire Sims house he just moved his self in.
Nice
Nice, Twilight meets Death, and he’s a foal. Not to mention acts like one too(no offense to any kids out there). Is he like DIT(DEATH IN TRAINING)?
Children as Grim Reapers Death must be really understaffed! Poor foal!
Those two lines really put me on the edge of my seat and made me excited to read more.
If I may ask, what was your old carrer path, and what is your new one?
He fails to speak in caps, that's the problem
Geez, I love how you just casually mention that.
My original plan was to serve cupcakes
why would that be
you’ll see