Invest in magic! Conquer Equestria! All this can be yours*!
*for a fee, payable to goat.
Written for the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Group's April Fools contest. Posted because it's ridiculous and today is a good day to be silly. :D
Entered it into Bicyclette's Thousand Words Contest under the Experimental category.
Ayo, more goat stories.
Goatquestria for the win.
And here I was about to comment on how this explained why so many goats were in Iron Will's employ, since they both seem like they'd be on the same page as each other on this.
I do, actually, as point of fact. I tend to favor it more often than not as I think it helps add a visible clarity to the list, particularly if they list items each requiring multiple words to describe like here.
More importantly though, and why I bring it up at all, roughly about half of my English teachers throughout my schooling were for it as well. The other half, however, adamantly were not, which was extremely aggravating for me, the student, when I had one teacher who'd dock me points for excluding it while another would dock me points for including it. Talk about mixed signals!
Outstanding stuff. Working the footnotes into the word count was frankly brilliant, as is the premise as a whole. Thank you for a lovely bit of caprid madness. Best of luck in the judging.
I have come to review[1] your story! Woo!!!
[1] Editor's note: This review is based on two paragraphs of notes written on a plane. No guarantee is made as to the accuracy, thoroughness, or relevance of the reviewer's alleged statements.
First things first: Goats are funny, and the writing is charming from word 1. Great start.
Early stuff was a bit confusing and weak, relatively speaking, but the later stuff that just leans extremely hard into the incompetence angle, to the point that the author of the flyer literally can't type commas or the letter 'f', is hilarious. I do kind of wish it was more focused - as much as that is possible in this format - but overall it was very good, and very funny
PS: How the hell did you make those footnotes work!?!?
Howdy, hi~!
I love this. This is so outlandish and ridiculous and an absolute treat to read. I love everything about this and now wish to support the goat empire. Glory be. Thank you so much for the read~!
fun implications for what Pinkie became
the implications of magic like this being widely available don't seem to be very thought-out
hehehe, it is nice to see the goats respect the power of the alicorns in their own way
yay references to lavender unicorns! and what would that name have been, Sparkle-butt?
pfft
dangit, i shouldn't have read it!
could said traitorous goats be considered Judas goats? also, wow, what's the story there!
hehe, very goat-like behavior!
the fact that "footnote" has an "f" in it does lend a fun irony to the whole thing.
hehe, nice way to end the running theme of how vague it has been, just what service it is exactly that the goats are providing. and this was a fun look at how ponies and their silly magical world would look like, viewed through an outsider's lens that is nothing but vague marketing-speak. the footnotes really made this work, with the repetition of them where the missing symbols should go making one think about what the purpose of characters and letters really are. thank you for it!
Hello! Have a review. I'm a Terry Pratchett fan, so I have fairly high standards when it comes to footnotes. This story used them satisfyingly and cleverly. Maybe not quite to Pterry standards in terms of consistency, but what is? Anyway, well above average. And "Secretary has been ired" is one of the great lines. An easy like, and congrats on the Silver Medal!
11327321
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I dream of being as witty as Pratchett, but that's a very high bar!