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Twilights Eclipse

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Comments ( 4 )

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racer76

racer76 #1 · Apr 5th, 2022 · 1 · · What is a Lie? What does it cost? ·

Nice start. Following for updates.

Admiral Q Ponyform

Admiral Q Ponyform #2 · Apr 5th, 2022 · 1 · · What is a Lie? What does it cost? ·

Not sure about this. In concept a great idea but i think it might be a bit better if Luna was still Nightmare for i just don't see Celestia not having a closer hold on Luna and her activities. Or have it later for juding by this. We start just after the pilot so while Celestia in this story is evil she can't be that dumb.

Amethyst_Spark

Amethyst_Spark #3 · Apr 13th, 2022 · 1 · · Education and Revelation ·

11203096
hey thanks for showing interest in my crazy idea. I'm kinda creating my own timeline of events, I just hope the masses don't kill me.

Admiral Q Ponyform

Admiral Q Ponyform #4 · Apr 15th, 2022 · 1 · · Education and Revelation ·

11210867
You still haven't solved the basic issue. Why would Celestia allow Luna so much freedom at this point. Its not long after the pilot episode right? So taking this Celestia into account she has manage a massive series of lies for 1000 years that is an amazing feat thus why would she have no pony keeping an eye on her sister. The ONE pony that knows she is lying and can undo all of her lies.

They key missing part in your story right now is the believably of the senario. You are making Celestia who is quite smart if evil in this story holding a massive idiot ball.
That is why i suggested a later date so that Celestia would have her guard down and recall any ponies that were shadowing Luna. That gives Luna her chance to fully convince Twilight and they work to overthrow Celestia.