Fluttershy lives a peaceful life with her geese, taking them every night to graze in the meadows above the palace, hurrying home before the forbidden sun rises. She tries not to look at the statues of the fallen princess with her sun cutie mark, broken and half-buried in the undergrowth. She tries not to look at the Midnight Spire as it rises before her, dark and terrible.
Trigger Warning: and please take these seriously, as this story gets dark - blood, injury, violence, elements of abusive relationships, and even some slight suggestions of non-consent. These aren't used gratuitously and are treated with the appropriate horror by the main character. Please do not read if any of this will be triggering to you. This is an exploration of what the Nightmare Moon AU would be like for poor Fluttershy, and is correspondingly dark.
This story is the first of four. The second is The Sorcerer and the Seneschal, with the others coming soon.
This was originally written as a christmas present for Zontan and if you like the tone of it I suggest you read his Shadow Within.
God this story is so good. I started to get an idea of how it might end, but it still took me by surprise. The little details are great, from the different geese names to flashes of Flutters family and the background world building with the statues…just, damn. You definitely treat the heavier aspects of the story with respect and it makes for a beautiful, heart wrenching piece
I stumbled upon this fiction and it did alright. Just needs a little bit more detail in some parts. Other than that it's a good idea.
It's just such a perfectly toxic relationship.
Nightmare Moon is just such a perfect villain here. Like a true narcissist, the minute you start thinking she's reasonable, just like you, she reminds you that no. Other ponies are just tools, and their power is hers. They're not using it properly, so she has every right to it.
I had a narcissist (maybe a psychopath? unclear) in my life for a long time. Thank god they're not in it anymore, but by the stars did you write one perfectly here.
I also really loved the exploration of Fluttershy's character in this piece. I feel like she gets shunted to the side a lot, and I love how even in a story with such a fantastically strong villain, Fluttershy is nonetheless still the protagonist. I think this was the most heartbreaking, the most grotesque, and also the most beautiful scene:
This entire exchange--the curtain peeling back, Flluttershy resisting her very instinct and shying away from the daylight she was meant to grow up & live under--is the first one that really stuck with me for months, since I first read it many moons ago. The second was the moon/date scene, how casually NMM speaks of flooding entire cities for her own whim. And the way she blames Fluttershy for her own aactions? It's just so perfect.
Anyway, I'm going to stop rambling now. This was great stuff, Shas. 💜
11539 words that read like butter. Great read. :D
Hm.
"I should kill you for that! But I won't" [cue comical evil laughter here]
Yeah... I think if Nightmare Moon doesn't change her mind and kill Fluttershy, she just created something that will destroy her. Nice job!
Wow, I'm usually pretty pessimistic about NMM stories and such, but this was excellent. Interesting worldbuilding and fantastic characterization.
This was a fantastic read. I couldn't stop until the end.
Wow that cover art is amazing! I tend to avoid the dark stuff on a general basis, but... I am a sucker for Nightmare Moon and that cover art realy draws me in. Probably gonna miss out on a realy good story if I don't man up and just read this allready.
This was good.
It can be difficult to write a horrific or dystopian setting that isn't an opressive slog to read.
This had just enough glimpses of the possibility of something brighter - literally, in one case - to make a very compelling read instead.
Wow this was an amazing read, 10/10 will read again, thumbs up and favorite from me.
Neat cover - following it to the source I can see you chose it more for how its original context relates to the story than, perhaps, how it looks. This isn't a story where dread creeps in from a happy veneer where She is concerned, after all. The excellent little blurb made that clear enough - but if those are the things that caught my attention, the reason I actually went through with reading it was because I had coincidentally been screwing around with the text to speech in firefox's reader mode, so I threw it on while I did chores around the house.
It's an odd experience, "reading" a story that way - most of the time I didn't have controls near me to skip backwards, so I had to pay close attention to not get lost. The pace of the reading was measured at my choice, so with that focus I had time to really drink in the excellent imagery that you fleshed out each scene and beat with. Sure, there were hiccups aplenty, this isn't some fancy AI-powered voice that sounds almost natural, and certainly not an audiobook, but I could look past those, just as I looked past the oddity of the cover art compared to the story's tone to fall into what turned out to be an excellent, excellent fic that explores how a stark imbalance of power in a relationship will render even an immortal god-empress impotent to actually make it meaningful, true, or anything resembling the slow reciprocation of openness and trust that she sought. That she remembered.
Anyways, it's late and even if I have other detailed thoughts I've run out of eloquence for the evening. I like this and I think other people will too. Good night, sweet dreams, have a follow, and don't let the vampires bite. :v
And this is why I'm glad Hasbro doesn't let fans do stuff for them. Poofy Smokes was enough of an asshole in the Season 5 finale (story is too messed up for me to read and find out if this is set in one of those timelines or not).
This just makes her even worse.
I love your story, it gives me the impression of a fairy tale.
This was enthralling and well-written. Fluttershy was depicted really well and it was great seeing her stand up to Nightmare Moon in the end. I actually read this after the sequel, and I think it worked just as well that way.
Shes going to go undead John Wick Fluttershy all because of a rabbit. Nightmare Moon should've just told her bluntly she loves her.
Hello! Have a review. Ooh, this was quite something: I loved that the dystopia did still retain hints of disloyalty among NM's subjects here and there. Clever ending, too. Easy like, easy fave!
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Thank you! I really appreciate it.