“Hey... hey! Are you okay, dude?”
“Mrmfff... the poor bastard's concuss'd. Just leave him alone, larva.”
“Nuts to you, Professor! He might be hurt or something!”
“Didn't you even hear what I said?”
“He just fell flat on his flank! I think he swallowed some of the salt water in the wave that hit!”
“Drowning sounds like an improvement if he's been living on this sand bar all this time.”
“Oh knock it off! Hey! Hey! Mister! Can you hear me? Try opening your eyes!”
“Grnnnghhh...” Theanim's eyelashes fluttered. He winced from the bright sunlight through the waving palm trees.
Above him, a young stallion's head and horn came into focus. Nick stood over the photographer, leaning left and right. “I... I think he's coming to, Professor! Look!”
“Great. Send me post cards from the honeymoon.”
“Hey, buddy!” Nick bore a foggy smile. “How many hooves am I holding up?”
“Unngh...” Theanim rubbed his eyes, wincing. “Verlaxion, please. If you're a pony, it's either one, two, or none. Otherwise, you'd be lying flat on your flank, and I seriously doubt you arrived here because you were sailing drunk.”
“Heh...” Sinrar's voice rasped from where the old stallion leaned against the beached trimaran's hull. “I rather like this fellow. Even if he does suck on the false queen's teat.”
Upon hearing that, Theanim sat up straight, his brown ears burning. He glanced at Nick, then at the Professor. “... … … let me guess. Colonialists.”
Nick bit his lip. “What gave it away?”
“Oh, the same old dry, sardonic blasphemy.” Theanim batted his head, shaking moisture out his ear canals. “Let me guess, the Upper Strand? Kihutaja? You've got the smell of dusty books about you.”
“Very keen observer,” Sinrar said. He pointed at the stallion's fallen camera. “What do you do for a living, monsieur? That is, when you're not photographing the product of Verlaxion's slave labor.”
“Right...” Theanim sighed, picking up his camera and then his golden goggles. “I do believe I'm going to cut this conversation off at the head.” He slid the article over his head and hung the camera from his neck. “As a scientist, I know a useless pursuit when I see one.”
“Please, don't mind him,” Nick said, pointing across the soiled thicket. “On top of being old and crotchety, he just lost his favorite cane.”
“Stop downplaying it, you piss balloon!” Sinrar barked. “How'd you like it if you lost your fifth leg?!”
“Dude... don't even go there.” With a shudder, Nick turned towards Theanim once more. “I'm doing all I can to not break down crying over the Swan Song here.”
“You mean...” Theanim pointed at the battered hull just a few feet away. “This is your boat?!” He blinked. “How in the crackling frost did it end up over here?!”
“That's what I was hoping you would tell us,” Nick said with a nervous titter. “Something... large attacked us as we came within view of the shoreline.”
“Mrmmff...” Theanim rubbed his aching head. “You mean Ultimo.”
“Say what?” Sinrar glanced over. “What the Hell is an Ultimo?”
“I'll leave that to your twisted imagination!” Theanim spat his way. “You apostate bag of barnacles!”
“Oh, quite magnifique! Tell me, gentlecolt, did you think of that before or after you went shopping for a pick axe to spelunk your way out of Verlaxion's birth canal?!”
“Now see here—” Theanim stomped towards him.
“Okay—Everypony calm down!” Nick stood between the two stallions. “This is neither Kihutaja or Rohbredden! We're at... at...” He squinted over his shoulder. “What's this place again?”
“Nealend Atoll,” Sinrar and Theanim grunted in unison.
“Right. So... when in Nealend, let's do as the Nealenders do and... uhhhh... get along?” Nick smiled bashfully.
“Heh...” Theanim smirked for the first time since waking. “You don't want to go there. Trust me.”
“Maybe I have no choice?” Nick shrugged. “My boat's kinda wrecked, and with that... Ultimo out there, it doesn't seem like we're going anywhere anytime soon.”
“Trust me,” Theanim grumbled. “You're not.”
“So, let's start over on the right hoof, shall we?” Nick smiled, extending his forelimb. “Hi! I'm Nick! And I love brunettes!”
“Erm... greetings, Nick.” Theanim shook his fetlock. “I'm Mister Theanim Mane of the Ninety-Seventh Rohbredden Scientific Order.”
“Hmmf!” Sinrar grunted from afar. “Ninety-Seventh Disorder is more like it!”
Theanim smiled wearily in his direction. “Let me guess... Academy material?”
“I've certainly taught the truth to more teaming masses than you ever have!”
“And you led them all marching down the hellhole of arrogance and heresy. Well done.” Theanim snorted. “Colonial bastards, always full of hot air and most of it methane.”
“I heard that—!”
“AHEM!” Nick stomped his hooves. “If we can please not bite each other's heads off for a minute or two...” He looked Theanim's way. “I don't suppose you can tell me what took away the Whirlpool that was here before? Was it this beast? This Ultimo?”
“Look, Neigh...”
“Nick.”
“Right. You should be asking the Nealenders all about this,” Theanim muttered. “Or the other sailors stranded here.”
Nick blinked. “You mean there are others?”
“The natives can tell you a lot more than I can.”
“I'd rather hear it from you, if you don't mind.”
Theanim squinted. “Why's that?”
“Well... for one... you have a mane and tail, still.” Nick smiled nervously. “So I immediately trust you.”
“Right.” Theanim nodded. “Brunettes. Got it.”
“And... uh... is it just me?” Nick glanced nervously over his shoulder. “...or are the locals here a little... crazy?”
“My boy, you have no idea.” Theanim cocked his head to the side. “And allow me to ask you a question.”
“By all means.”
“Who was that colorful mare you showed up with?”
“Who? You mean Rainbow Dash?”
“Rainbow Dash...” Theanim nodded thoughtfully. “That's not exactly a Colonial name.”
“Nor is it Continental.”
“True.” Theanim cocked his head to the side. “And with hair that exotic... a pegasus like that isn't exactly from around here, is she?”
“No, as a matter of fact, she's not. Truth be told...” Nick smiled. “She's kind of the reason we're here to begin with.”
“Really?” Theanim gazed at the shore beyond the treeline. “You actually sought this Atoll out?”
“Well... yes and no. That is, mostly she did, though Sinrar helped. And... erm...”
“Why such a fervent interest in the whirlpool?” Theanim asked. “That disappeared with the arrival of Ultimo a few months ago. Barely anypony knows about it, so why would she be curious all of the sudden?”
Nick gulped and rested a hoof on Theanim's shoulder. “You know what? Why don't we go and ask her ourselves?”
“Erm... very well then. Can't you just tell me in person?”
“Believe me...” Nick winked, leading the stallion to the beach where several ponies had gathered. “Rainbow Dash is... something that has to be experienced.”
“I... uh... I don't suppose that—”
“Take all the photos you want.”
“Splendid.”
“Hrmmfff...” Sinrar yawned and rested his flank against the stranded Swan Song. “This should be rich.”
Oh yes, Theanim, you are in for a very bad time. Or, a good time, if Rainbow Dash decides to insult Verlaxion all over Theanim.
-Spirit (Yeast and Treacle)
So we have cultural antagonism in paradise. Interesting. Rainbow's not new to that though. She finds these types almost like clockwork.
Sinrar has another pony to hit. Yay! Although, I suspect this one will hit back. Hazaa for dis-harmony
Sooo... I'm wondering how he'd feel about Bellesmith.
Heh, Roarke would be able to tell you all about that.
I'm quite liking this Thunker Meat fellow. He has a real shady tone and an apt attitude. I think I can relate to him.
Stranded? This sounds like Stratopolis 2.0.
Let's just hope that the Atoll doesn't end up being blown up like the Stratopolis did.
He's surprisingly good at keeping volatile personalities relatively in-check... which is a useful skill for an admiral-to-be.
I still believe.
My first thought was that this Theanim fellow might be a changeling, but that admittedly has a lot to do with his last name, which isn't very fair (I mean, it's not like all Smiths are actors/rappers or founders of religious sects). Also, if this guy does tag along with the group, methinks it's only a matter of time before his faith in Verlaxion is put to quite the test.
Does Nick swing both ways? If he does, I wonder what Twilight would think about that. :3
Yes, we've spent the last three years experiencing it, I believe.
5949448
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/66/79/8a/66798a0940a01c4ccc5c2be810d8a678.jpg
Please and thank you.
A fifth leg won't offer much joy if your main reason to use it is gone.
Seriously, why won't Nick just marry the damn boat? They're on an island far away from civilization, I'm sure there's a way to do that.
Cue Swan Song the Tribe Leader.
I like Theanim Thunker.
5949454
I think Verlax hunted and killed all the changelings that came over from the Dark Side, which is why she had to cross the choke.
5949459
I imagine she'd find it quite... intriguing, from a purely academic standpoint, of course.
5949460
I just like admirals because they get neat jackets.
exploringlondon.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/nelsons-jacket.jpg
Fetching.
Maybe these natives can provide Sinrar with a Shillelagh? Maybe a proper sword? Either would work, but a shillelagh would be more his style.
If you couldn't tell, I really want him to become a badass club-wielder.
Ebony, Mahogany, for holding the islands together, Iron Wood would be intresting.
Maybe one of the control rods, if the islands can close up to a solid ring.
So nice to see two local academics getting it on with each other, wen all around lies the ocean of knowledge. And a giant sea snake.
He said the whirlpool was there, and dissapeared when Ultimo Arrived? Was it observed arriving from some direction before entering the lagoon then the whirlpool ceased, or was there an approximate equivalence in the timing, in that the obvious whirlpool ceased, and then Ultimo was seen cruising the waters?
Is Ultimo the guard, gatekeepter, or something trying to get into the control room?
Of all the dives in all the world, Dash had to sink her sorrows in this one.
Guys! Don't fall for it! Don't ever let a photographer convince you that traveling with them is a good idea.
Trust me, I do photography, I would know. Photographers are the worst sort of traveling companions you could imagine.
Ultimo showed up a few months back...
Dang it Axan, you just had to let Verlax know Rainbow was coming. Now the boss fights are all set up.
A truly intellectual debate worthy of the most learned academics
The Ninety-Seventh Order . . . oh you. I'm going to side with someone else's sentiment about this turning into Fatal Frame, except with less of Twilight dying due to a special shot, fatal frame, triple combo. That'd suck, huh?
But if Theanim can actually take a picture of Twilight, then the first one in line to see the results would be Nick, I'm sure.
5949631 Uh... what's the Ninety-Seventh Order referring to?
5949640
Once again, my email address. I ended it with a 97 because my birth year, 96, was taken.
5949401
5949460
This is the best I could do before passing out.
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5949647
I must ask, is SS&E uniquely acquainted with your email name, or is it common knowledge?
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8a/2006_Ojiya_balloon_festival_011.jpg
Rainbow's Ego after photoshoot.
5949581
Don't worry, you've made a great Thunker.
*cough*
Well I... Love you too man, but we might be moving too fast here.
5949475
TheaNickLight OT3.
Rainbow Dash is best butterfly.
Given Theanim's reaction to insulting Verlaxion Dash will have to be careful if she wants his help, or likely anyone else's from here on out. Assuming his reaction is the norm
I gotta stop and congratulate IC on this particularly magnificent piece of wordplay. Bravo sir. You have won the internet.
True.
I ship it.
Ah yes. this is shaping up to be very very interesting.
Someone has probably already pointed this out, but Sinrar and Theanim are giving off a very strong Josho and EE vibe.
Just ask Roarke, she'd vouch for that.
-Memories given light, ease a lonely flight. Ynanhluutr.
"That disappeared with the arrival of Ultimo a few months ago"
Ooooohh, the plot thickens!
*Fishberry stirs something in a small pot on the stove.
The sauce thickens!
Tonight rocks!
Oh lovely, this guy is not going to appreciate Rainbow telling him that his 'god' is just a really big old dragon, and that her ilk can be killed. I see this interaction going very, VERY badly.
I keep missreading the name as Ultima and thinking in the monster as a Final Fantasy optional boss.
Theanim, you have no idea how lucky you are that Sinrar's cane broke. I can already tell, these two are going to be great.
5949481
I second this. IC get this stallion a shillelagh!
5949683
You know, he very well might be. I started reading this series before knighty updated the site, so I had my email address on my profile page. However, that'd be . . . interesting if he saved my email address since then.
There's also a good chance he can see my email on Skype, though, which is a bit more realistic.
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I love Nick. He's so relatable.
5949379 Cultural antagonism? Did someone say Durandana?
I love the back-and-forth argument between Theanim and Sinrar. I really hope Theanim sticks around, because I definitely want to hear these two arguing more.
5950063
if you hover over someone's name you can see links to email, youtube, steam, or whatever else they might have linked to their profile.
5949459
I think it's pretty much established that he only has eyes for beautiful mares (preferably cheerleaders)
~~~
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't ship Twi/Nick
5949651 The best you could do? That's freaking amazing! Somebody needs to design a back cover with songs like "Lavender Haze", "Hey Dash", "The Wind Cries Roarke" and "Horsey Lady"
5949647 You have no idea how much you just made me feel like an old man when I realised you'd be 18 or 19.
5950624
Yeah, I'm rather young. Don't remind me . . . being college-bound and all.
5950562
I completely forgot about that. Since I'm heavily a mobile user, I don't tend to get the chance to hover over someone's name.
Theanim Manes theme song is going to be "losing my religion" soon, isn't it?
Heheheheheheheheh. Ahh. This is gonna be a fun island.
I've finally caught up! Capital!
So now we have Zaid 2.0, EE 2.0 (Their intros were similiar, so nyahh) and...I don't friggin know for Sinrar. Part of me wants to say Josho, since they are both so friction-y with other's.
Also, inb4 this island is sex crater 2.0 (Twos EVERYWHERE!!!!!)
5949631 I'm glad someone noticed that Fatal frame theory I pitched. I don't know why my kind went there. Probably the whole myth about camera's stealing souls.
5950562 You're not alone. I'm of the mind that the only pony who can have Twilight is Rarity.
As for other creatures...well her relationship with Spike is so vague that I often entertain the notion of TwiSpike.
5951151 Welcome to the Lunar Ninth! (Or something!) Congratulations on catching up, and here's to (hopefully) a character for you some time soon.
This little ark is very cheeky, I like it.
Good thing Twilight wasn't farting around in the breeze to hear that her lover boy Nick likes brunettes.
5953998 RD loves people taking pictures of her.