May 10
I got up while Aric was still sleeping and went out to the window and looked for the birdfeeder. He'd hung it on a little beam from the garage and there were a bunch of birds all clustered around it. You could easily see who the boss birds were 'cause when they flew over all the other birds went away and waited their turn.
Then a squirrel hopped down from a tree and ran along the roof until he got to the beam and the cardinal who was at the birdfeeder chirped at him but didn't deter him and he sort of slid down the string the birdfeeder was hanging from and held on with his hind paws while he ate his fill of seed.
The little birds didn't mind; they flew in and started pecking at all the stuff he was dropping from the feeder.
I guess I was paying too much attention to the birdfeeder because Aric poked me under the tail and made me jump, and he said that he couldn't help himself because it was right there, and I stuck my tongue out at him and turned my rump away from the bed.
He got out with the sheet wrapped around himself 'cause he said that he didn't want me to get any ideas, and then he looked out the window and saw the squirrel and said that he hadn't been expecting them to figure it out so quick and now he was going to have to come up with another way to hang the birdfeeder to discourage them.
I wasn't sure why you'd want to; squirrels go around and plant trees so they're pretty important to have. And it was pretty funny to watch him when he was done eating and had to turn around to go back up the string, because he missed and then fell down and went running across the yard and up the garage. Aric leaned more towards the window to see where he was going and I had my chance for revenge.
Pretty soon it just turned into us groping at each other and sort of trying to block but not really and then I managed to push him back into the bed and got up on top of him before he could get away from me and I teased him just a little before I claimed my victory.
We sat in bed for a little while after and I told him that I was going to be getting my ham radio license soon, once I'd wrapped my head around the parts on electricity. I told him that Ryan had already made me a stormwatcher and now I just had to wait for the first storm.
Aric said it probably wouldn't be long and he was surprised by how few there had been yet this year. He said the weather was cooler than normal and that was probably why. But he told me that there had already been tornadoes down south, and while we weren't in a prime tornado location here there had been one in the eighties that had torn through downtown Kalamazoo.
I flew out the window and then stopped by the birdfeeder and it had sunflower seeds in it, so I shook it a little to let some of them out and ate them then flew off before Aric could yell at me for doing it. Sunflower seeds are really tasty.
North of town, there were some tractors that were already out plowing their fields. I circled one field a couple of times just because I wanted to watch. I'd wondered how humans could take care of such big fields, but their tractors and plows were huge and it didn't take a genius to figure out that their cultivators and harvesters would be, too. Humans really liked making things just as big as they could. It must have been a source of pride for them to have such huge machines.
I spent more time than I'd meant to on my morning flight, 'cause after I'd watched the farmer I flew up to the base of the cloud deck and poked around there for a little bit, playing with the bits of clouds that were hanging down. So I had to wait for Brianna before I could take my shower, but I didn't mind. We talked about plants some and I promised that I'd introduce her to Aquamarine next time she was in town.
I got to lunch a little bit late but nobody minded. Cedric and Leon were busy arguing among themselves like they always did, and Trevor was just quietly eating his lunch.
I told them that I had gone golfing but that I wasn't very good at it and Leon asked me what course and so I said it was the one in front of the Airway Fun Center and he laughed and said that he had played there before too and gotten a thirty-three. I said my score was about a hundred points higher and he said that I was probably the worst golfer ever.
That was what everyone else had said, too.
I told him that golfing wasn't much of a pony sport anyways and he said that actually now that he was thinking about it how did I even golf. Well there weren't any golf-sticks in the cafeteria so I couldn't show him, but I did get out from my seat and stood on my hind hooves and showed him the motion I'd used which I said was really more of a glaive move.
Trevor looked up and asked if that meant I could use a glaive, and both Cedric and Leon looked at each other and Cedric asked what a glaive was, and so we explained and Cedric nodded and said that he knew I was a badass. Leon said that if you fuck with the pony, she'll cut you, and then just started laughing.
Conrad said that since everybody had tests this week, he was going to let us enjoy an easy day today and read some of Edward Lear’s poems, which were mostly short and simple. A lot of them were in a form that was called a Limerick, and those were strange because it was almost like they were a joke. Even the longer poems were funny, although I didn’t understand why people were snickering so much about the Owl praising his beautiful Pussy.
Also Edward Lear didn’t seem to like bees very much.
Right after poetry class was over I went back to my room and dropped off my books and then went out to the parking lot where Mister Salvatore and Miss Cherilyn were waiting for me.
We went right to the airport and Mister Salvatore had to show his wallet again at the gate. He has a special identification like my student identification, and it lets him get into places that other people can't go.
We parked in a special small lot that was different from where all the other cars had to park, and by the time we had gotten out of the car two men in blue clothes which were like police officer uniforms came over to meet us. They shook hands with Mister Salvatore and Miss Cherilyn and then with me.
The back of the airport wasn't very nice. It was like the center we'd first arrived at, all cold brick and hard tile and bad lighting. There were some posters up on the wall but instead of pictures of happy people in nice places like the ones I'd seen at the airplane stations where I got on and off, these were all words and looked very stern and official. I stopped to read one and it was rules about being paid and right at the top it said that this poster was required by law.
We went up a flight of stairs and they led us into a room which they called a lounge. It also looked kind of run-down, but there were posters on the wall of airplanes and a big corkboard that had things pinned to it along with a couch and a television and a little kitchen.
And there was a woman sitting in one of the chairs drinking coffee out of a paper cup and when she saw me she got right up and came over and hugged me and she said her name was Dori which was short for Dorinda.
We talked for a little bit and then she led me up to the tower. She said that there was an elevator but I said I'd rather walk if she didn't mind.
We couldn't interrupt the people at work, but there were some extra computers and so she showed me how they could see where all the different airplanes were, and explained how there was a ground controller who I had never spoken to that kept track of where the airplanes were on the ground and then another one who was the arrival and departure controller and that was who I usually talked to. That was an older man with a big bald spot and I asked her kind of quietly if he was the grumpy man and she laughed and said he was and if I stayed around long enough I could meet him when he went on break.
Then she told me to wait where I was and she went over to her desk and picked up a little strip of paper and brought it to me and it had my callsign on it and then a bunch of little letters and she explained it was a flight strip and that all the airplanes got one and that was how they kept track of them all, and this was the one from my morning flight. She said I could keep it because they made a new one each time I flew.
There was a UPS airplane leaving soon, she told me, and so I watched as the ground controller gave it instructions and had it wait until a small airplane had landed before it could go on the runway and leave, and we listened until the grumpy man had given control over to the regional controller that handled flights which were outside of Kalamazoo's airspace.
It looked like a whole lot of work to keep track of all those things, and she said that the ground controller not only had to give permission to airplanes but to vehicles that needed to cross runways and taxiways as well. And she showed me the special telephone that they used in emergencies—it was called the crash phone, and it talked to the airport fire department.
She was explaining how they made sure that airplanes wouldn't bump into each other when they all flew at different altitudes and different speeds when I saw a man go stand behind the grumpy man and look down at his screen and all the little blocks that contained the flight strips and I asked what he was doing and she said he was getting the picture of all the traffic so that he would be ready to take over and after a few minutes a medium-sized airplane that had a blue tail landed and once it was clear of the runway he took off his headset and the other man took over.
He was a little surprised to see me, but he agreed to meet me in the lounge. So we went down there and he came in after a little bit and said that it was nice to put a face to a voice on the radio and I asked him why he sounded grumpy all the time. He ran his fingers through his hair and said it was 'cause whenever I went flying it was a pain in the butt to clear my airspace and I hadn't realized it was so much work so I told him that I was sorry and was there anything I could do that would make it easier?
He told me that if I stayed below a thousand feet whenever I was over Kalamazoo it would be a lot easier because airplanes weren't supposed to fly that low except in special circumstances, like the medical helicopters, and he said that as long as I went west it became a lot easier as long as I stayed outside of the normal descent routes into the airport. So I promised that I would do that and then he shook my hoof and I wanted to hug him but I didn't think he wanted a hug.
After that I did give Dori a hug and she said that she would like to visit the Air Zoo with me sometime and I said that sounded like fun but I wasn't sure if I would have time until after classes were over and she said that was okay.
I was pretty hungry by the time we left the airplane station, so we stopped at Jimmy John's and got sandwiches and then they took me back to my dorm so I could study some more.
I could have gone over to Meghan's after I finished studying for Anthropology, but then I decided that I should read some more of my radio book so I could get my license. And then I thought I had it all figured out so I took a test on my computer and didn't do very well; I only got half the questions right so I made a note of what I'd gotten wrong so I could study it more.
By the time I finally went over to Meghan's I was pretty tired. It had been a long day, but a fun day, and it was really nice to end it by snuggling up with her in bed even if she was wearing her sleeping clothes because Amy was there.
Well she certainly seemed to be proud when defending the size of Alric's 'machine' to Cedric and the boys.
I guess some things just don't translate all that well.
Yes he did! It's a secret but everybody always wants a hug.
One thing I learned after a few years with bird feaders in the backyard is that squirrel always learn a new crazier way to get to it. Freefalling from the nearby tree? Done. Walking upsidedown on a tight rope? Done. Using the anti-squirrel protection from one birdfeeder as a ramp to reach the other one? Done...
Oh yes they are! Highly addictive little things they are!
Almost made an overdose of it last year when we choose that to eat as snack in the team car for a bicycle race. 7 day in a row.
She's got good reflexes doesn't she?
You were supposed to give one anyway, to make him feel better!
If you can win against the football player with a street creed, you can win against a stressed airplane controller.
At least normal bird feeders only have to deal with squirrels. Hummingbird feeders have ants. There's nothing quite like seeing a writhing mass of chitin leading up to a bottle full of sugar water and tiny, drowned corpses.
Heh. Silver still can't grasp just how many humans there are. I can't really blame her; even the hundreds of millions in the US are hard to fathom, much less the billions worldwide. And all those people need to eat.
Ah! The mystery of the grump has been brought to light, and calm communication saves the day once again. Though if one pegasus causes this many headaches, I can only imagine what will happen should immigration increase...
They
Also, nice to finally meet the airplane people.
Did he shout "Kanchooooo!" ?
Don't let him catch you
Ha! I knew she would.
On the other hand this means she's actually able to hold a golf club, hit a ball with it, and put the ball (eventually) into a hole. That's pretty impressive with hooves.
A squirrel is a rat with a fur coat and a press agent. It is impossible to keep them out of bird feeders. The problem is that they scare away the birds.
Yeah, the ARRL has a lot of great resources.
a good chapter I like it.
Insect-based lewdness is best lewdness.
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7376996 Unless you're like me and all you attract are wasps and bees.
Could ponies do an IFR... :-P
Silver, you birdbrain! Now Aric's gonna have to learn the Pegasus Mating Dance:
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Man. Squirrels are bad enough; how do you keep pegasi out of your feeder?!
...maybe some kind of sex trap....
There's a bar song about a bald, wet pussy. All the while she's singing about her cat.
7376996 Don't forget the wasps the feeders attract too. We've had it where the hummingbirds fly up, see the wasp, and then fly up to our window as if to say "Hey, can you do something about this?"
You'd think that a Victorian poet wouldn't make offcolor jokes about pussies, except that bit of slang is as old as the hills. You haven't had an uncomfortable reading experience until you've encountered a younger Robert E. Lee flirting with the ladies by mock-lecturing them about the doctrines of the theologian Edward Pusey. From all accounts Lee was a proper dog in the manger when it came to the ladies.
Mrs Slocombe would be proud.
7378392 i always loved that show. Used to watch it with my grandmother as a kid. I should watch the series again.
The Soviet Union makes the largest micro chips in the world!
Yep, plundering bird feeders is pure badassery. The SG takes no prisoners.
Aric needs to install a bird bath too. For like, after getting all sweaty. *sigh* No. Not that. From flying!
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You bet your plot it is!
yes, yes we do. Although we really like to make small things as well. Which personally I think is harder.
See there? You missed your chance to hug a pony. That's what you get for being grumpy.
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That's one reason I've actually be hesitant to use any non-English poetry which was translated by a third party . . . because I've seen a lot of good poetry ruined by literal translations.
It's true. If we'd just all admit it and give and receive the hugs we wanted it would be a much better society.
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The only thing that comes to mind as reasonably effective (for some definitions of 'reasonably') would be to have the bird feeder suspended between several powerful magnets. I don't think the squirrels could find a way to get to that.
That's how you attract pegasi: put sunflower seeds in your birdfeeder. Unicorns prefer pistachios (only unshelled), and earth ponies like fennel.
Yeah, she shoulda just wrapped him in a big hug. He probably wouldn't have liked that, though. At least Cedric was willing to take the chance at a pony hug--the grumpy airplane controller doesn't know what he's missing.
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If you cool your keg in a kid's wading pool full of ice, the beery water attracts all the silverfish in the house and then they drown. On the downside, that's pretty disgusting; on the plus side, we never had another one after that party.
It's the kind of number you just can't really wrap your head around. Although they would all fit in a pile in the Grand Canyon.
There would be a lot of rules that would have to change, which is why in one way Silver Glow is a very important ambassador for all pegasi to come after her.
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Pegasi are attracted to birdfeeders. It's a scientific fact.
If you can hold a glaive, you can hold a golf-stick.
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Correction made; thank you!
7377039
No, he didn't. What's that a reference to?
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Although if you've got a lot of free time, you can build a hell of an obstacle course for them.
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I took a practice test, just to see how well I'd do. I got a 50%.
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7377053
One could argue that all lewdness is best lewdness.
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Bees I wouldn't mind so much, but f wasps.
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Potentially, with the correct equipment. Heh, that would be an interesting idea, to come up with a minimum equipment list for a pegasus flying IFR. For that, they probably would want her to have a transponder.
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Silver, you birdbrain! Now Aric's gonna have to learn the Pegasus Mating Dance:
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I can only imagine what form that would take.
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o rly? What is it called?
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What do you do about wasps? Maybe find some wasp-hunting bird and lure it to your house?
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Maybe it was more common then 'cause there was a lot of stuff you weren't supposed to say, but if it was just a poem about a cat you liked very much, why who could complain?
7378392
It's true; he secretly wanted a hug but he wasn't bold enough to ask for one. His loss.
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There's a certain sort of irony in that statement.
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Right in front of him, too.
Silver Glow sitting in a bird bath would be adorable.
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I iive on the Great Lakes, so all we've got is Lake Freighters.
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We're really expanding our horizons in both directions, I'd say. There's pride in having both the largest X and the smallest X.
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It's true. Grumpy people never prosper. Or at least they don't get pony hugs.
I've so been enjoying this story - it's honestly been a bright spot for me since I started reading it, and I have to thank you for that.
I am too rapidly catching up, now, and have been holding back on comments, but for this chapter I'll just say (and I'm pretty sure that I'm right):
Always
Last, you might already have seen this image of Silver Glow, but just in case... I like it mostly because it's a bit less stylistically cartoony than the others I've seen and so feels a little more realistic to me. I just wish she was smiling.
"official"
7410551
You are 100% correct.
I have seen that image; actually when I started writing the story, that was one of the few that weren't screenshots from the show or pictures of the toy.
7474659
Correction made; thank you!
Good luck. There is no such thing as a squirrel-proof birdfeeder.
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You'd have a better chance at making it Pegasus-proof, and that's already near-impossible.
7606137
You can get fairly squirrel-resistant, though. My parents' birdfeeder is on a pole, with one of those dome-shields around it, and the lower part of the pole is coated with vaseline.
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I contend that that might be harder, because pegasuses can fly.
Around here we'd call that a pass.
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Yeah, some tests set the bar real low.
I actually passed the state air brake certification, despite not ever having looked at a real air brake system or reading a book on how they worked. My only knowledge came from reading NTSB accident reports, which occasionally mentioned them. And I remember at one point when the test asked which was the primary side of the system and which was the emergency side, I thought, 'they have two sides?' Still got a 70%, and I'm now legally able to work on air brake systems.
Obviously, if the time ever comes where I need to, I'll do a bit more studying up.
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I passed my Iowa state air brake test with a decent 85% after having said knowledge crammed into my head by instructors.
Still can't work on A/C systems though.
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Honestly, I think that a lot of mechanic work is more about experience than book knowledge.
That having been said, I've worked with some real idiots . . .
Cute pony starts out being cute, all happy about plastic bags being nice and perfect to hold in her mouth thanks to the loops. And then going right into being a good pony and promising to study hard for what she wants.... Twilight would be so proud.
Then into one of the biggest #ponyproblems they deal with, trying to figure out all the weird ass saying humans have that don't mean what they say, but leave you thinking they want you to go kill some birdies.
And of course everyone has to come look at the cute pony doing some actual magic that they've never seen the likes of before. The plan for Pony Domination is proceeding along, they know how easy it is to control us.
Just overall chapter of pony being good pony, and being super serious about something that matters a lot to her
Yes, but Equestria has a lot more space to just build a random house, especially given all the airspace for cloud houses. Not to mention laxer requirments for a house, since you don't need to add in wiring, cabling, and all the other things people expect.
Though, here she asks how Equestrian Class is going, except there isn't a class, just a weekly seminar she's forgotten she's supposed to be helping with.
And then Meghan shows how fast she bounces back by trying to get pony all wet while she gets naked. Accept that this is the best she'll get and still wants nakey cuddle time with Pony, or realizing Silver isn't all THAT serious and might still be up for fun, or able to be stolen away?
Also silly pony, still being all tribalism. "We Pegasi and the Earth Ponies were smart and figured this out too. And I guess the pointy heads must of worked out something similar at some point.."
Poor breaded fish, it's not there fault Silver had one crappy fish sandwich. Then again I don't like fish period so... there's that.
I have never seen or heard of anchovies in ceasar salads.
And so the epic saga of Silver's birdfeeder addiction begins! Seriously this whole running gag is hilarious as it just keeps going, and gets bigger and more hilarious as they go.
Now now, pony won't cut you, she'll cuddle you. Or tell one of her many loyal minions that you were mean to her and have them cut you for it.
"What's so funny about praising a good looking pussy? Kitties are cute!"
The talk about the special badge that gets him into nearly anywhere, all I could think was he really didn't need that, but it's easier to hold that up then it is to just pick up Silver and hold her up to the person so she can give him the big, sad pony eye's. "Sir, the West Wing is off limits to tour groups." "I have a pony that wants to see it!" "Oh, head on in!"
One odd bit, while I liked her finally meeting the voices on the radio, this chapter never actually identified Dori as the nice lady she talked to. It wasn't till next chapter when she used Dori's name while talking to her on the radio I realized she hadn't been some PR person or other such position giving the tour.
Would airports with high pegasus traffic get a second emergency phone for bad pegasus landings? Since they need different responses. Also my thoughts on 'crash phone' was if a certain mare ever came over, how quickly they'd be repurposed to mostly be used to warn of incoming Derp.
And I do love how soon as she found out what a headache her flights could be, she made sure to help out as much as possible. She wants to fly, but doesn't want to be a huge bother either and really did not fully grasp everything at work with getting her clearance. Especially since they likely have orders to leave her a very, VERY wide margin of safety.
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I bet they don't have plastic bags in Equestria.
I know, right? Dumb humans can't just say what they mean, they have to have some weird expression.
Once they figure out that we're easily swayed by things that are shiny or cute, we're pretty much fked. If Princess Luna (let's say) discovers that she can distract 90% of humans by projecting cat videos with her horn, it's game over for humanity.
Simpler construction + lower population (and thus more space) = relaxed building codes. Plus, yeah, building with clouds . . . the only regulations might be that it can't be too big, and that you can't steal weather clouds to build it with.
It's technically a language class that meets twice a week, and in terms of the story, gets forgotten by the author a lot
Probably a little bit of both. Meghan isn't sure exactly what she wants with Silver in terms of a relationship, but she also is comfortable around her, and also wants to get to Equestria in the future so is willing to immerse herself in 'the culture' whenever she can. I guess the overall takeaway is that Meghan doesn't give very clear signals because Meghan doesn't know for sure what Meghan wants.
She really can't help it; that's what she knows. Hopefully, in some ways, she's a wiser pony when she gets back to Equestria.
I don't like fish, either. Never have, and my dad, who grew up on Chesapeake Bay, probably has considered disowning me because of it.
To quote Wikipedia ('cause I'm being lazy):
"A Caesar salad is a green salad of romaine lettuce and croutons dressed with lemon juice, olive oil, egg, Worcestershire sauce, anchovies, garlic, Dijon mustard, Parmesan cheese, and black pepper." I'd imagine that most of them aren't made that way these days, but that's the recipe, according to Wikipedia. Also, in the interest of full disclosure, there's some debate in the article about whether or not there should actually be anchovies in it.
Did you know that I pre-read a few chapters of Twilight's Bird Feeder way back in the day? I'm not saying that that's where the idea of pegasi being attracted to bird feeders came from, but I'm not saying it isn't, either.
Pinkie Pie might cut you. Otherwise, yeah, cuddles until you relent.
Although to be fair, in the general hustle and bustle of modern-day society, a badge that has three magic letters on it does wonders at getting all sorts of access without having to explain anything.
That's a curious omission on my part, and it wans't intentional at all. Dori was the nice lady.
Also, while it might or might not have come up in the comments, she's named for Holly Hunter's character in Always.
I don't know. That really raises a lot of interesting questions, especially since we know from canon that pegasi can mostly shrug off bad landings, and in most cases a post-crash fire is unlikely (as is having to rescue multiple people). Certainly when Silver got forced down in a storm (which I think is a later chapter) there was no report of a crash landing (technically, it was), nor any emergency response.
Good Guy Silver Glow
Yeah, they have to leave her a huge margin of error, which is a real pain in their butts. She hasn't got a transponder and doesn't show up reliably on radar, so her actual position is at best a guess, and they all know that it'll be the controller's head if there's ever a midair collision between Silver Glow and an airplane. They've got the FBI breathing down their neck to let her fly, and the FAA telling them to make sure that she--and all the other airplanes--stay safe in the air, so they're in a bad position in that regard and so all that they can do is be overly conservative when it comes to issuing clearances. Add to that that they don't know for sure her flight characteristics or how she might react to an emergency situation. . . .
Wikipedia
Capsaicin (8-methyl-N-vanillyl-6-nonenamide) is an active component of chili peppers which are plants belonging to the genus Capsicum. It is an irritant for mammals, including humans, and produces a sensation of burning in any tissue with which it comes into contact. Capsaicin and several related compounds are called capsaicinoids and are produced by chili peppers, probably as deterrents against certain mammals and fungi. Pure capsaicin is a hydrophobic, colorless, highly crystalline to waxy solid compound.
It's the active ingredient in hot sauce, tabasco sauce, etc.
According to the article, BIRDS are immune to the effects. It should keep squirrels away & not affect birds
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I’ve tried it before, and my squirrels don’t mind it at all. Maybe some city-squirrels are bothered by spicy stuff, but the ones that live out here aren’t fussed at all about a meal that bites back.
Kancho is a Japanese prank where you stick your fingers up someone's butt. What, you thought that there was enough room in fiction for all of their crazy?
11004870
A: I didn’t know that.
B: Why? (I suppose ‘cause it’s a prank is ‘why’ enough)
C: What made you think of that?
Often the truth is stranger than fiction.
Someone else's comment on today, apparently back when it was the current chapter because the next chapter has them giving you the same explanation (I hadn't gotten that far yet) in such a way that it probably happened when that one was the current chapter. All of that was five years ago, so it's entirely reasonable for you to have forgotten.
Nor did Winnie the Pooh
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Clearly, both of them were wrong; how do you have delicious honey without bees?