Mission
Rarity felt full. The fullest she had felt in weeks, in fact. She had no clue why she focused on love so much. Being in the hive was just what she needed. Rarity felt rejuvenated as if she had just gotten out of the spa.
She stared at the pods containing Shining Armor and Princess Cadence. They glowed with a faint green hue suspended from the ceiling. Staring at the pods filled her with pride. While she hadn’t podded the pair herself, she still had taken them down.
“What shall we do next, my queen?” Rarity asked, tilting her head toward Chrysalis. She sat on her throne, her head leaning idly into her hoof.
“You will be tasked with capturing your so-called…friends.” She spat out, putting an emphasis on the word ‘friends.’ Rarity blinked in surprise. Her very own mission? Wasn’t that a bit too soon?
“Why me? Plenty of other changelings would be honored to do such a task.”
“You have something other changelings don’t. Memories.” Chrysalis clarified. “Any other changeling would stick out. You could blend right in.” She explained. Rarity slowly nodded her head. She guessed that it made sense.
“Yes, my queen. How should I obtain them?”
Chrysalis shrugged, giving a dismissive hoof wave.”
“It doesn’t matter how you do it. Just make sure you’re convincing.” Chrysalis demanded. Rarity nodded. She needed to make her Queen proud.
Rarity strolled through the outskirts of Ponyville, her brow furrowed. She needed to concentrate. This was Rarity’s first solo mission; she had to do this perfectly. Queen Chrysalis would never trust her with another mission if she didn’t.
She didn’t know why she cared so much about Chrysalis’s opinion; she just did. Rarity assumed that every changeling felt that way. While she missed her old life a bit, she supposed changeling life was the next best thing. Rarity shook her head. There wasn’t time to think about this; she needed to focus on what was happening now.
The sun barely peaked over the horizon, and the air was crisp. Sunrise was the perfect hour for this mission. No one would be out at this time.
Rarity’s fur was matted with dirt, and her mane was a mess. Normally, she would throw a fit, but today wasn’t the day for that. She needed to stay in character. Rarity withdrew a calming breath, putting on her best ‘woe is me’ expression. It was showtime.
She began to stagger over her hooves, entering Ponyville. Rarity had no clue who could be watching; she needed to put her act on early.
To her relief, the streets were vacant. Just as she had hoped. Despite Ponyville being a small town, she knew of some ponies who took early morning trots. Rarity needed to be quick before ponies entered town.
She turned her limp into a quick trot, scanning her surroundings. Rarity eyed a piece of paper stapled to a tree. It was a missing poster. A missing poster for her, to be more precise. The picture showed her looking absolutely fabulous, wearing one of her gala dresses.
The more she looked, the more she realized these posters were everywhere. Somepony must really miss her. Rarity already knew who. Her gaze wandered to an all too familiar building.
Golden Oaks Library. It looked like the lights were still on. Rarity approached the building, taking a peak through the window. Her friends were inside, all doing various tasks. A fluttery feeling appeared in her stomach.
Rarity pushed the door open, papers flowing out. Piles upon piles of missing posters were scattered across the floor. She grimaced at the sight. Her friends really missed her.
Twilight was hunched over a table, meticulously gluing a photo to a piece of paper. Pinkie Pie was following suit, sporadically slapping pictures on blank sheets of paper.
“Just a few dozen more, and we can start hanging these,” Twilight muttered to no one in particular.
“Well, there’s no need to hang all those up.” Rarity announced, striking a pose. All eyes were now on her, her friend's eyes lighting up.
“Rarity!” Twilight exclaimed, staggering from her seat. The mares rushed towards Rarity, pulling her into a tight hug.
For a second, Rarity felt a warmness in her chest. Being in her friend's embrace felt…comforting. But that couldn’t be right; only her queen could make her feel that way. Despite this, she reveled in the hug for a bit longer. It would be rude to break away from a friendly embrace.
Pinkie Pie grabbed Rarity by the cheeks, inspecting her face. She began to wipe the dirt from her cheeks.
“Are you okay? You’ve been gone for a long time!” Pinkie pointed out. Rarity opened her mouth to answer but got interrupted by Applejack.
“Sweetie Belle was so worried! She came straight to us when she realized you were gone.” Applejack explained. Rarity grimaced. She had forgotten that Sweetie Belle was there when she left.
“Where have you been?” Twilight asked.
“I got captured by a gang of awful diamond dogs! I was trapped in those dreadful mines for days!” Rarity moaned, draping her foreleg across her head. She had been rehearsing that sob story all night. Rainbow Dash scowled, zipping away from the group hug.
“When I get my hooves on them, I’ll give them a piece of my mind!” Rainbow threatened, punching the air.
“I’m not one for revenge, but…” Rarity trailed off, pretending to think. “But, if you insist on doing so, I must lead you to their hideout. It’s in the Everfree Forest.” She explained. The group gasped.
“What were you doing all the way out there?” Fluttershy whispered in horror.
“And why in tarnation were you out so late? You know the forest ain’t safe!” Applejack added on.
“I was looking for more rare gems, and I heard that the best ones come out at night.” Rarity explained. “I thought I would be fine.”
Twilight gave Rarity a sympathetic pat on the back.
“I’m so sorry you went through that.” She apologized. Twilight turned to her friends. “Come on, girls, we have some diamond dogs we need to deal with!”
The mane six wearily walked through the Everfree Forest. The group was tense, checking their surroundings every few moments.
“Just this way.” Rarity led, ducking under a branch. Twilight hummed in response.
“Are you sure this is the way? I’ve never seen gem mines this deep in the forest.” Twilight pointed out, moving a low-hanging branch from her face.
“Yes, yes, I’m quite sure.” Rarity lept over a log, landing gracefully on her hooves. Rainbow Dash glided next to Applejack, leaning towards her ear.
“For a pony that’s been trapped for a week, she sure has a lot of energy.” Rainbow Dash whispered to Applejack. The mare hummed in response.
Rarity weaved through a few trees, stopping at a hole.
“They trapped me down there!” Rarity exclaimed, pointing. Applejack peaked inside the hole, squinting.
“That looks mighty deep,” Applejack commented, peering closer.
“I can’t even see the bottom!” Pinkie Pie gasped in awe. Twilight stared down curiously.
“This goes straight down,” Twilight stated. “How did you get out? There’s nothing to grab onto.”
“A lady has her ways, Twilight.” Rarity huffed, quickly thinking of an excuse. “You girls must avenge me! I fear that I’m too frail to fight!” Rarity exclaimed, dramatically falling to her side. She closed her eyes, acting as if she were too tired to move.
Twilight looked into the hole again, eyeing the angle. It seemed like the only way in was straight down. She could only hope that it wasn’t as deep as it looked.
“Okay, girls. On the count of 3, we jump.” Twilight instructed. “1…2…3!” She exclaimed, diving hoof-first into the tunnel. Her friends quickly followed, jumping in after her.
Rarity listened to the tell-tale sound of them hitting the bottom. After a few seconds, there was a loud ‘thump’ and a series of groans.
“Hey, this isn’t a tunnel!” Pinkie called. Rarity bowed close to the ground, shooting a beam of magic. The hole was quickly covered with an iridescent goop.
“What’s the big idea?!” Rainbow Dash asked, flying upwards. She pushed at the goop, only to recoil at the sliminess of it.
“They’ve been captured, my queen!” Rarity called into the forest. A nearby tree burst into green flames, warping into Queen Chrysalis. She ambled to the hole, a gleeful grin spreading on her face.
All five useless ponies were exactly where she wanted them. They looked pathetic, almost resembling wounded animals.
“Excellent work.” Chrysalis praised. Rarity now felt complete, her chest feeling warm.
“First, you mind-control my brother, and now my friend? “ Twilight scowled in disbelief. Chrysalis guffawed, throwing her head back.
“Do you think I’d stoop so low to control a pony of no status? I’m not idiotic.” She said with a taunting eye-roll. “Reveal yourself,” Chrysalis ordered.
Rarity changed with a flash of light, showing her form from that faithful night. Her friends gasped.
“You replaced Rarity with a changeling?” Pinkie Pie shouted in disbelief. Rainbow Dash zoomed forward, pressing her hooves on the forcefield.
“What did you do with Rarity!?” She snarled, kicking at the barrier. Chrysalis rolled her eyes.
“I didn’t do anything. Rarity has always been this way. Isn’t that right?” Chrysalis asked, turning to Rarity.
“Yes, it is, my queen.” Rarity agreed.
“She’s been playing the long-con as one of my sleepers.” Chrysalis began to pat Rarity’s head. “And after capturing you, she’s now my favorite sleeper.” Rarity puffed her chest with pride.
“You are dismissed. Wait over there.” Chrysalis ordered, pointing deeper into the forest.
“Yes, my queen.” Rarity responded with a curt nod. She looked into the hole, giving her friends a pitiful smile. Their times together were pleasant, but she must serve her queen now.
Despite her mission being complete, she could feel her stomach churn. What was this feeling? Guilt? Shame? She couldn’t tell. Rarity should say something to them.
“Goodbye.” And with that, Rarity trotted away.
“What’s your plan, huh? Are you going to trap us down here forever?” Twilight asked, beginning to pace. Chrysalis scoffed.
“You ponies always overreact to the small situations. You will remain here until the end of the invasion.” She briefly explained.
“But what about Rarity? What’s going to happen to her?’ Pinkie asked, staring at the changeling with pleading eyes.
“Nothing too important. She’ll just fall into line with the other drones.” Chrysalis shrugged. Applejack furrowed her brows.
“Then why the hay did you need to use her? Why not one of the thousands you already have?” Applejack asked. Chrysalis gave the mares a knowing smirk.
“Ponies and changelings simply don’t mix. And without Rarity, you can’t use your little elements against me, can you?” Chrysalis mockingly batted her eyes.
The group looked absolutely devastated. Fluttershy leaned into Applejack’s coat, holding back tears. Rainbow Dash anxiously buzzed around, and Twilight began to pace. Pinkie Pie’s expression was the best of all; her mane practically deflated. It filled Chrysalis with glee.
“But don’t worry. I’ll come back for you after the invasion.” She falsely reassured. “In fact, you’ll all be my new assistants.” She squealed with excitement. “I’ll see you all very soon.”
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11784637
Sorry bud, ya lost me with the direction of the story.
Come on Twilight, hedge your bets, even if Chrysalis says she's a sleeper you should have demanded her to be with the group. Now you have to rely on mere words to try and break through.
At least Chrysalis was unintentionally merciful in leaving here to just sit there, providing opportunity, but this should have gone differently....
Not to mention, but Twilight can teleport and hasn't been disabled...
The Elements wouldn't work anyway at this rate. The way Rarity has been acting since the sudden reveal goes against her element. Generosity as a part of friendship isn't just about sharing your blessings. It's also trusting your friends to want to share your burdens, and on the part of one's friends it's about that sharing of burdens, and not expecting a reward or boon in turn. Rarity will have lost the ability the wield the Element of Generosity the moment she ran away.
Also, if Rarity hypothetically had revealed herself to her friends, and they treated her like an imposter or a monster, then even if they were to try to use the Elements of Harmony, so long as those thoughts were in the back of their mind, while the rest of the Elements might link up with each other, they wouldn't link with Generosity, because their bearers didn't reciprocate.
Everything from when Rarity ran away and followed her new instincts to find Chrysalis onward would work much better if she chose to risk revealing herself to her friends and family and they refused to believe her. Especially this latest reveal to them that 'there was never a pony named Rarity in the first place'.
As is, this idea is half-baked, and it shows. I'm out.
11795032
I personally think Rarity running away isn't out of her element. She's running to protect her friends, as opposed to potentially endangering them by staying. And her not telling her friends is clearly out of fear after the changeling invasion. Why would she tell her friends if she thinks they already hate changelings?
Another thing to add, there are multiple moments in the show where Rarity is out of her element, but she still learns from it. And what is this but another thing to learn from?
11795065
No, she didn't run to protect her friends. She ran to protect herself. If she wanted to protect her friends, she would have revealed herself. That way, accepted or not, they would at least have a better understanding of just how deeply Chrysalis had planned to infiltrate Equestria.
Lol master plan
11795067
how are going to tell the writer what there attention are, there the writes, she did run away to protect here friends and family from herself, she was about to feed on her little sister, how can she not see herself as a monster after that, your acting like there only one way to go with this, she needs to revealed herself to her friends, why? what purpose does that serve? i know where this story is going, it's just how i'm going to get there. Rarity revealed herself to her friends isn't going to change anything, everything that happening is still going to happen, because that where I want it to go, if you have a problem with that, then avoid story commission by me Tailsic, because that's how I roll. I'm always going to suit my narrative, not yours.
11795221
Okay, so somehow I missed that this was a commission. My apologies, both to you and the author, I wasn't trying to dictate the story's direction. I guess I just got too aggressive in my stance that said direction didn't seem to make sense. Regardless, the story already lost me, so my opinion doesn't matter anyway.
11795227
It's nice to see your understanding, sorry we lost your interested with the story, thank you for sticking along with it was long as you did.
Love this story!!
11795221
These past 2 chapters are still dumb. The only part is her running to protect them but everything else. NOPE.
Any drone could have done what Rarity just did. You have not proven the point why it had to be Rarity to do this.
Seriously for the good of the story. Scrap these two chapters and think of something better. You have seen the comments, see the last 2 chapters as damaging for the story. Readers are leaving which means you are doing something wrong with this story. Now it is your choice to listen or ignore me but note why is Hollywood failing hard right now? Because they wrote stories for them but not the audience.
You had a great premise here but as stated the last 2 chapters hurt it. I am not the only one stating this so please pause and discuss between the two of you whether to continue this route or scrap amd redo the last two chapters.
Your choice but i hope you choose wisely
11796496
I'm gonna be so honest, this fanfic isn't that serious. This isn't a high-production TV show, and I am not the embodiment of Hollywood. I'm a single person writing a my little pony fanfiction. I'm not sure why people are expecting the highest quality. If they don't like it, they can just move on. It is not that serious.
11796777
But you should.do.it to the best of your ability. Again if readers are making similar negative comments maybe pause and think on what they are saying
11796795
I already planned this story, and I’m not going to change what I already have planned. Changing the last two chapters will change the entire ending
11796891
plans don't always work out as you may plan it. just look at so many recent movies. they were planned out...for the most part and those plans ended up sucking. Okay you have an end goal in mind but perhaps it needs better execution to get there. the comissioner has been PM me about this. Let's give these last two chapters a look. You guys wanted Rarity to capture Cadance, Shining, and the girls. what was pointed out beyond me was that how this was done any drone could do it in the time alotted. Both took less then a day to pull off thus any compotent drone could disguise themselves as Rarity and do it. Where Rarity would be paramount for the mission is long term. as is a drone one needs to pull it off to a few minutes to hours. should be easy. but what about days or weeks. That is where Rarity comes in since she is in fact Rarity her disguise would not fail in that regard.