My name is Metemponychosis Edgy Hornyson!
While checking the ward spells in her palace's library, Cadance discovers a strange letter sent to King Sombra by someone she didn't know existed, from a nation that never existed. The search for answers sends her and Twilight, along with their friends, on a journey to uncover certain secrets of the past, only to realize that secrets abound in the present, and at the center of it all, there is one particular truth that very important ponies would very much like to keep a secret.
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The term "empire" could also be a misnomer. For instance The Crystal "Empire" is everything but. It's just a royal city-state, not an empire.
9608467
Absolutely correct. I didn't want to put too much of a definition on what it actually meant because the ponies aren't sure, but when Twilight brought up that it might have been a nomenclature thing, it is what she was thinking of.
When I used the terminology, "holy empire", my intention was to hint at the meaning I intended. And also what kind of guy Gregor was.
Well they're screwed.
I love this Cadence. In the show she's always portrayed as this pristine young adult who is the ideal princess, and that's it.
This Cadence is more inquisitive, has a slight rebellious streak, and apparently has a keen interest in history.
Still a lazy mother though.
Most certainly a unique version of the changlings. Now if we could return to the matter at hoof, the false history, Luna's hording of the stars.
9612971
The whole detour will make sense in a while. I'm laying some ground rules about how magic, society and politics work. It's important for the whole mythology of this story. Not to mention I felt Twilight and Cadance couldn't get out free of consequences of what they did. It also will help the story flow.
I also don't want to give out the whole story too fast because it's a bit complicated and only a couple of characters actually understand what happened, and things they thing are connected one way actually are in another way. And all of them have reasons why they don't want it to surface. Actually, only two characters know the whole story and they haven't appeared yet. Twilight and Cadance will need to understand things and their opinions need to shift in a way that is clear why they did. The whole thing is worldview changing.
The rabbit hole still goes a little deeper, though, both in the past and present. Right now, they are exploring the one in the present, but they'll converge in one big mess. This story is pretentious as hell.
I'm trying to make it fun too, with jokes and references.
I also need to juggle a few characters around and Celestia, Luna, The Lion, The Consort, all need a presentation. Also a better look about how Equestria works and why things don't seem well in the griffon lands. If I don't cover these, the whole problem with the past won't make much sense.
9613091
I totally understand needing to word build to differentiate between your world and the original. I was just making a joke about how they came for one thing, and instead they end up in jail.
9614143
Ah. Cool.
Please, feel free to tell me if anything feels out of place, though.
Maybe they should talk to Discord first...
9622369
Twilight and Cadance think he's unreliable.
But I agree that it wouldn't make any sense if they didn't, at least, try to talk to him. They'll cross paths in the following chapters. I also wanted to save his appearance for a specific scene.
God there’s so much world building I can’t tell if the story is bullshit or meaningless.
9634331
I'm guilty as charged. It's mostly because i like it, and because characters are going around trying to learn about things from long ago that have consequences in the present, and stumble in something that seems unrelated as far the present chapter. I'm also trying to stress the differences between Canon material and the AU. How important magic is and their perception of it. I also don't want the reader to be entirely sure if whatever happened in the past, and how the Sisters dealt with it, is reproachable or understandable. I try to do this by exploring their actions in the present and near past. I also try to make it funny when I can.
I also wanted to give the cartoon a sense of mythology and a creation myth that is still to come, but is part of the whole mess of the hidden past.
But I fully understand if people don't like this, especially when I also have a lot of things that get frowned upon, like the alicorn OC and the whole plot about changed past that contradict Canon that I feel need a lot of convincing and digressing.
9705728
I was going to write something there, but I figured it would the second time in the chapter Twilight would be explaining stuff to someone and that might be a bit unnecessary. I thought of making a joke about Twilight being anxious, but she was in a good mood, having dodged Celestia and then Chocolate Velvet. But looking at your comment here, I feel like I should've written something more.
9708204
And to think, all I wanted to do was make a Princess Bride reference.
9708753
Ah. There's the problem. The reference flew over my head.
Do you intend to make more stories about the backstory for this one? What little you explained in here is extremely interesting.
9828969
Yes. There is the main series with Celestia, Luna, Star Swirl and several OCs that will cover in details that whole period that was erased. Up to present times when Celestia started setting the stage for Nightmare Moon's return. There will also be a story about the period of one year of Chocolate Velvet's arrival that is going to be a romantic comedy and slice of life.
Beyond that, there are other stories, such as Nightmare Night and Summer Sun celebrations in this AU. A story about the aftermath for Ponyville's militia, and a few with Twilight and friends.
The goal for this one here is to serve as a primer for the AU, and to help me get more in touch with writing in English.
In this story, you can still expect tidbbits of information about the past and more world-building on the specifics of the AU, and Twilight and Cadance unraveling the details of the past and meeting The Lion, culminating with more information about the legends and a whole creation myth. They'll also start learning things about the backstage of how their world works. Two spin-offs are in the pipe, one about what happened with Chocolate Velvet after the end of this chapter + the next, and another with Celestia laying down the law on Ponyville's militia situation.
9829051
Those story idea's sound very interesting. I hope they'll be as good as this story and that you don't abandon the series.
I would love to see a story where Applejack rules Equestria
Flurry Heart will be the true ruler since she is smarter
Is Discord still a friend?
10027249
Perhaps one day.
<ominous apple sounds>
10027274
<ominous baby pony sounds>
10027341
Yes. He shows up in a following chapter.
What’s with ponies and guns... They have laser beams and can move suns... They don’t need guns but maybe other creatures
10039015
Magic is hard and it was part of the Renaissance/fantasy theme.
Not to mention you won't see the really powerful unicorns (Twilight or Starlight Glimmer)/alicorns using guns. They don't need guns, and typically use enchanted weapons. The idea is that firearms are a 'equalizer', Rarity, for example, isn't particularly powerful spellcaster, and a pistol would do as much damage as an offensive spell from Twilight, for example.
And you're right, other creatures use guns, such as griffons and their more advanced firearms.
3.86 x 1012 = 3,860,000,000,000 = 3.86 TRILLION Hornpower, or 3.86 Tera-Hornpower/THNP
How much is 1 HNP equivalent to in joules/newtons/watts/ergs?
10062663
1 Hornpower would be 10 Joule. Bellow is some info that is yet to appear.
That is in one Pulse which is about .3 seconds, but in practical terms it is punctual. In one full second, Celestia could triple that if her focus isn't broken, particularly in effects that align to her orientation, but she doesn't need a full Pulse to discharge a spell. The idea is that more complex spells would require more time to be executed properly, and the more time a spell takes to be cast, the more energy it requires. In practical terms, some spells are locked to certain magic users because they wouldn't be able to keep up with the energy requirement to keep the spell from collapsing, like Cadance thinks of before teleporting to the Crystal Empire, and that is why Twilight can't teleport long distances.
The amount of Pulses a magic user can sustain varies with experience and mental stamina. So, even if Twilight can sustain a spell for long enough, she might not be able to fulfill the required amount of energy it requires, which is her limitation for teleportation.
That is going to be more relevant to explain why in a future episode one character can spend time preparing a high energy spell. Especially with the spoken magic the griffons will use.
10062912
3.86 THNP = 38.6 Terajoules = 1,072,230,800 watt-hours = 38,600,000,000,000,000,000 ergs = 38.6 exaergs. Quite impressive.
Astrophysicists calculate that Supernova 1987A exploded with a force of 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 ergs = 100 zettaergs = 2,590.67 Celestias.
So Celestia is .000386 of an actual supernova, but yes, concentrating that much power in one point and not a whole solar system would be catastrophic to space-time.
10063115
The metric I used, actually, was the Hiroshima bomb, that was around 54-75 TJ, according to wikipedia.
I don't know if I could make an analogy to something breaking space-time in the real world. The intention with Twilight's comment related to rules of how magic works in their world. (the story assumes that magic doesn't exist in our world) It is considered 'natural' in Equestria, but its effects are 'supernatural' as in it breaks from tradicional physics. Like Discord said: Just enough magic lets reality dream, and
too much magic breaks causality. And there's also Cadance's teleportation scene.
So, too much magic would be damaging to reality. And that is an important point later on to explain why things happened after the creation of the world. And I also think you're going to love the things the gang will do with Naminè's help.
9829259
Whoa. Missed this one at the time.
I don't think I will abandon the series. I like it too much and am having too much fun with it and its spin offs. Even if work gets in the way, the worse that will happen is that I may have to slow down, like that hiatus I some time ago.
Just relax and smile. Wave if you can https://youtu.be/DvYBZRwwGB4
the airship captain that got divided into his good and evil sides because of a magical disruption of a teleporter. James T. Kirk [ S.T. 1st Gen.]
“I have become a princess to rule Equestria, not to have my atoms scattered back and forth across the land by this gadget.” Dr, Mcoy [ S.T. 1st gen.]
Love what you did here.
10186155
Yay! Someone commented on those!
Hmmm, somethings off here - 42 ponies, 5+35 with 14+14+14 with an alicorn leader ...
10322431
35 females carrying the stuff in the center
5 males surrounding the group.
But: there is one male that is hurt and one of the females is helping him walk and the leader is a female unicorn.
The only alicorns are the ones that stayed behind. Or at least they are what the ponies think of as alicorns.
When I mention 14+14+14 I'm repeating information. I'm saying that the number of ponies in the tribes are balanced, despite the six to one ratio of females to males and the different roles they play in their early society.
10322620
Ahhhh....
That's a great line.
10411188
Thanks.
This took me three days to get through this fiction... Time to review it.
I say that this is clearly a 7/10 there are some grammar that could be better, some punctuations are missing on all of your chapters, the story is long and interesting and you must of put a lot of hard work to make it right. Well, in the first chapter isn't United Kingdom post to be in capitalized? some of the chapters the sentence of beginning you used so. If you used so in the beginning of a sentence it needs a comma.
Grammar is a 7/10
pros
Interesting characters so far. Because it's not completed yet.
The feel of the story is par.
Cons
Like I said before capitalize and punctuations.
Also I'm in authors helping authors.
10497543
Thank you for taking the time.
Yeah, I knew grammar would be an issue. I'll hunt for those mistakes in previous chapters. Punctuation too. I'll try to find a proofreader. Same for my uses of 'so'.
To be honest, I'm glad that it came out as a 7/10. I feared worse.
Initially I thought that capitalization wasn't necessary since it referes to a union of kingdoms, not to the name of the the nation. Though I have to admit that I'm not sure.
I have two questions, if you will. Are the action scenes easy to understand and compelling? What about the humor?
10498311
the action scenes are pretty understandable and the humor is pretty good.
Is no one going to point out how much like a cult leader Celestia sounds in this chapter?
10614249
Geez. Wait for next chapter.
Or better yet. Wait for Folkvangr.
Why are the chapters getting even longer?
10659845
The short:
I started feeling like I was leaving too much out. The thing is that this story is a bit like a few stories wrapped together, but it will all wrap up in the end, so I decided that it should all be a single story. Plenty of spin offs in the oven already.
The long:
I originally wanted 10K per chapter, or around that (7k-13k). Around the time I posted Singularity I realized I was cutting stuff that I wanted to remain in the chapter.
That chapter is a good example. I was going to cut the scene about the other battlehorns replacing the Flamehearts at the broken gate, the scene with Star Swirl, Discord and Rockhoof didn't exist, Star Swirl's friends wouldn't make that cameo, and the scene of Cadance witnessing Daffodil with the neolithic ponies was going to be a lot shorter. But Daffodil's scene would be too barebones, and now it also sets up a joke about dating in a chapter to come, and without introduction I felt that Cinnamon would've lost a lot as a character in this story. Even if there will be a whole story dedicated to that battle, I felt like she deserved to be better fleshed out in this story. It is meant as the introduction for the AU, after all.
Dines with Griffons had that big scene where Celestia is explaining parts of the plot that is convoluted. I didn't want it to be too bare bones. Much less the scene where they are discussing Luna's session with Grinolf. Gee... That chapter is missing the conversation about no deaths during the battle. That scene I was comfortable postponing until the next chapter. It is a good scene because it will contain development for the relationship between Celestia, Cadance and Twilight.
Another good example is Ice Queen. I felt like Lady Gwendolen and the city needed a lot of exposition And I needed to work on Discord's thoughts about all that. I even cut a scene where Lady Gwendolen is angry at some Loremaster students because they went into 'the tower' and wanted to use some potions. That one I can put somewhere else without too much of a problem.
But chapters shouldn't grow any bigger now, by my planning.
Gwennie, Gwennie, Gwennie, got some nice truth shaving going on there ... big point, you fought and lost (and won't let it go) ...
Is Discord stronger than Celestia in this fic?
10661229
Comparing them is not very helpful because Celestia's power comes from her magical output, and her experience at manipulating magical energies as per that system Twilight explained in Chapter 12 - The Stupid and the Petty. Discord's power comes from an instinctual understanding of the Chaos component of Creation, and the power to manipulate it. Measures of power don't apply to him, even if his magic still needs to 'connect' to the magic of the world to work.
So, if they were to fight, they couldn't match their power one against the other like Chrysalis and Celestia in Canterlot Wedding, way back in season 2 from the cartoon. It would be more a game of trying to undo the other's magic, while trying to get the upper hand, like a mental chess. A good example was Celestia hijacking Twilight's teleportation and sticking her in a bird cage in Chapter 20 - Planning to Fail.
This Discord seems is to much of a cheerleader for Celestia