Viva La Bamquestria

by CortezDude

Don't Feed Tia

Author's Note:

I'm not gonna put a ton of dialogue they used in the Don't Feed Phil episode, okay! So don't try bothering me with it. Other than that, please enjoy.

Afternoon
The Next Day

Ahh....a brand new morning in Equestria, specifically in Ponyville and in Castle Bam II, everyone was aroused by the morning light that Celestia rose in the sky. Bam along with his family and the CKY Crew were heading towards the small town as he turned to the readers on something he has to say to your sorry asses in an instant.

"So, it's morning in Equestria or should I say so myself, Bamquestria", this caused a commotion of laughing from his friends whilst he continued on talking, "and we're going to meet up with our remaining CKY Equestrian Crew, later!"

They reached towards town after a long walk, and there they met up with the others and found the remaining members of the CKY Equestrian Crew in the form of three stallions of the three pony races: A unicorn named Star Bright, A Pegasus named Silver Script, and an Earth Pony named Noteworthy saw the gang and instantly greeted them. The group decided to hang out with them until it was all interrupted when Luna arrived with her entourage and that caused the ponies to bow down to her and afterwards, she told them to rise and then greeted the CKY Crew in which she decided to tell them something of utmost importance but not before teleporting Bam's Hummer in Castle Bam II which she reminded him that he forgot to bring his car to the duplicate house yesterday.

"Yo, Margera!", Luna called out to him, "I need your help with something."

"What's the problem, Luna?", Bam asked her.

"It's my fat-ass big sis", she told them which caused the group to laugh on what she said as she continued whilst smiling, "because lately, she's getting too fat and I don't know what her weight is right now, so you wanna come?", she finished it with a question if they want to come with her or not.

"Sure!", he replied, "Why not? Let's see if she's even fatter than Phil and Don Vito.", the group laughed on what Bam compared Celestia to his dad and uncle.

Luna then teleported themselves to Canterlot and to be more specific, Canterlot Castle where Tia was, in which she along with her younger sister and Bam decided to do a little rough-horsing via wrestling and lucky enough for them, there wasn't a lot of royal work for the sisters to do. Knowing how tired Celestia can be just like Phil, Luna decided to ask her a question about her weight in which Celestia didn't know how fat she is as of now.

"Big sister, how much do you weigh like right now?", she asked whilst smiling.

"I don't know, maybe a bit like Phil or Vito, I'm a bit clueless.", Celestia replied back.

Bam headed upstairs to Celestia's room and found a weighing scale and headed downstairs., "Let's see how fat Tia is!", he said whilst going down the stairs and sure enough, the group decided to weigh the sun monarch but it failed when the scale decided to say E for error due to it unable to calculate her weight.

"Why the fuck does it say 'E'?", Rake asked, "It says error like crazy!".

"Jeez, this was almost like Phil back in our show.", Novak reminded them in which they nodded in agreement.

"Sweet Fausticorn, Sis!", Luna exclaimed in surprise while showing the weighing scale to everyone, "This is supposed to weigh humans and ponies yet when you and Phil are in it, it automatically says error!", Everyone laughed in agreement as she turned to her older sister and asked her a question, "You think you can handle one whole day with no food just like what Bam did to Phil?"

Celestia replied back, "Sure, what's the prize then?", she then asked a question afterwards.

"We'll give you anything you want to eat, Princess.", Noteworthy replied.

"So are you in or are you out, Fatlestia?", Bam challenged Celestia.

"You're so on, Bam!", she told him while she gave a hand/hoof shake to him.

"Then it's settled.", Luna replied as Celestia left to deal with court duties and when she left, Luna turned towards her friends and told them something, "Let's follow her and see what she eats. How's that sound?"

"Noice.", Rake agreed and so did the others.

And so they followed Celestia before the sun comes down for Luna to begin her night court duties; they followed her older sister to wherever she went and to their surprise, Celestia's first meal for breakfast was a stack of waffles she created herself, for lunch, it was a triple-decker dandelion sandwich with hot sauce, for snack, she had a whole bag of potato chips BBQ flavor, and finally for dinner plus dessert, a large carrot steak and a slice of chocolate cake. The CKY Crew couldn't believe their own eyes on how much food Celestia will eat, and it was automatically decided that tomorrow: Don't Feed Tia begins whether Celestia likes it or not.

---

12:00 AM
The Next Day

The CKY Crew were listening to Celestia outside her room and they were surprised that she was a mega massive snorer like Phil only much louder. Without thinking twice, the group entered the room and crept quietly next to her bed and afterwards, Luna opened the light while Bam was holding a sword in his right hand and there was a loaf of bread impaled on the tip of the blade which he proceeded to rub it on her face and that caused her to wake up.

"Good morning, Thinlestia.", Bam told her and that caused Celestia to grumble.

"You know what day it is, Sis.", Luna reminded her, "It's Don't Feed Tia Day! We're gonna give you that challenge like Bam did this to his dad. You said you can do it like Phil so today, we're putting you on the test, you in or you out?"

"Sure, Lulu. Bring it", Celestia mumbled tiredly, "Now shut the lights off, I'm trying to catch some shut eye"

"Night!"

"Good night."

They headed towards her office to find all of her food stacks in which they found many hidden snacks Celestia had and when they have taken all of her food, they headed towards the pantry and also found more stacks of food, so when all of the food had been kept away from Celestia's hooves. After Celestia raised the sun, she headed downstairs in order to find something to eat but no food was spotted so she tried the fridge only to be a bit spooked when an alarm was installed in it, but after a while, she managed to open the fridge only to find it was empty and the only thing inside was a TV and a video of Dico disguised as Julia Childish again started taunting and mocking her with tons of food and him eating it.

Later, when she was doing a bit of morning court, she turned the radio which announced something important and she can hear her younger sister, Luna and Bam announcing that it's Don't Feed Tia Day and that caused Celestia to tell her cooks and maids not to feed her while the announcement continued that 24 hours on this day, no food shall be given to her until she completes her challenge.

The whole day was torturous for the Sun Princess and everywhere she went , there were posters of her faces with the words, "DON'T FEED TIA", in every restaurant and cafe from Equestria and beyond. Even worse, there was also Joe who flew his plane due to Luna teleporting it to their land with a banner saying the exact same words she saw, as well as guard watchers in the form of her sister and their friends who took turns in keeping an eye on Celestia (with Dico being the worst, bringing food in which the man taunted her whilst mockingly eating the food that was in front of her, and that caused Celestia's stomach to be even more hungrier than ever).

The next one who was in guard duty on Celestia was none other than her hippogriff friend, Novo and she too was like Vito only different, and both Bam and Luna loved to mercilessly torment her for fun. The Queen of the Hippogriffs thought it was a smart idea to order a vegan pizza in Earth since it's the only place that Bam and Luna didn't ban food for the Sun Princess, only to realize her mistake later.

When word caught of this. the CKY Crew who were at that time in a Cradle of Filth concert back on Earth decided to head back to Equestria and to be exact, in Canterlot Castle and joining them along was the band and when they returned, Bam and Luna gave Novo a punishment, which is to have make up put on her by Hank.

"IF MY SISTER GETS TO THIS DAY WITHOUT EATING FOOD, THEN WE WILL FEED HER WITH ANYTHING SHE WANTS, TONIGHT!!", Luna used her Royal Canterlot Voice to make that announcement which caused everyone to cheer in excitement.

The party at the castle continued loudly until it was nearing midnight and everyone and every pony counted down to 3 and finally, the clock struck at 12:00 AM which meant Celestia won the bet and those who were in the castle, fed their ruler with any food she desired until it was time to wrap up and head back home to get some good night's rest.