Why SWSV Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy Love One Another -- And Why It Fails · 3:36am Jul 31st, 2016
As Bookplayer pointed out, for love to work it requires something in common. This is why
(1) In writing my story of the love affair between Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, which is very significant to both of them (it's Fluttershy's first romantic relationship and the first time Rainbow Dash has sex with anypony of either sex), I emphasize a major shared interest in old epic sagas -- Fluttershy because she's High Born, and Dashie because she thinks they're awesome -- to the point that as fillies they acted them out together; plus minor shared interests (they both like camping out, for instance). I felt the love affair made no sense if they had no shared interests. And ...
(2) Why it fails, and in only two years after its tentative beginnings, and less than a year after they actually start having sex. Basically, the problem is as you stated: Dashie is direct and Fluttershy manipulative; worse, Dashie is fundamentally honest -- under all the blustering boasts, she will not lie to a friend about anything at all important. Fluttershy -- is kind, and at least in Seasons One to through the end of Two, which is when the affair takes place in the SWSV, 'Shy hasn't yet learned the importance of telling the truth even if it hurts the listener.
Fluttershy can twist Dashie around her hoof. She has always been able to do this, since they were small fillies and Dashie idealistically decided to protect her. What's more, Fluttershy is the one person toward whom Dashie has problems expressing any anger, even when Fluttershy well deserves it. We've seen this in the series -- most notably in "Dragon Quest," Fluttershy actually hits and tramples Rainbow Dash -- and Dashie just takes it.
This is half Dashie's fault. Dashie idealizes Fluttershy -- puts her on a pedestal, in many ways -- and she can't face up to Fluttershy's dark side. And as somepony sired by Queen Chrysalis -- in the SWSV -- my Fluttershy has a rather major dark side, which expresses itself in destructive passive-aggressive behavior, sometimes against her friends. Unlike Kifuko Chrysalis, she's not evil -- but when she gets seriously angry, she can be quite nasty, mostly by indirect means that her victim may fail to notice even after 'Shy strikes. Compared to this, her occasional use of Changeling Royal direct mind control -- The Stare -- is innocence personified.
So when 'Shy manipulates Dashie, Dashie generally doesn't even notice or realize what happened, even after the fact. And on the occasions when 'Shy actually abuses Dashie, Dashie can't even believe what just happened ("Mare-Do-Well" is a good example of this -- note Fluttershy's crucial role even in vanilla-canon). Rainbow Dash is left blaming herself, because Dashie doesn't understand what Fluttershy did. Not because she's stupid (Dashie isn't) but because her mind simply doesn't twist that way.
This ultimately backfires on SWSV Fluttershy. When she fails during the course of a three-year love affair to tell Rainbow Dash the rather important information "Buzzies are real, I'm half-Buzzy and I know where one of their Hives is located," information that could have enabled Equestria to parry the attack of Queen Chrysalis with far less damage and death than actually happened at the Canterlot Wedding -- that's the final straw. But Rainbow Dash probably wouldn't have broken it off with her if it hadn't been for years of Fluttershy's preceding passive-aggression.
Is Rainbow Dash to blame for any of this? Heck yeah! She's Fluttershy's enabler. She has spent years of the love affair -- and years before it -- trying to shield Fluttershy from every insult in life, and even from being self-critical. She put Fluttershy high on a pedestal, forgetting that Fluttershy fundamentally doesn't like heights. This is a subtle failing on Rainbow Dash's part -- so subtle that most of their friends don't eve notice it. It's the downside of Loyalty -- one has to be careful not to be loyal not only not to the wrong people (Fluttershy actually is mostly good) but also to the wrong aspects of a person's character.
There are other incompatabilities between my Dashie and my Fluttershy. One is that my Dashie has only a rather weak sex drive, and my 'Shy an exceptionally strong one. This causes them problems in Mismatched Hearts, but the deeper problem is that Dashie and 'Shy can't directly communicate about this.
And the deepest problem -- the lie that SWSV has been living since age 14 -- is about to catch up with them, heading northeast on buzzing membranous wings.
It always takes two people to make a lousy relationship fail horribly.
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The lousiness of it is arguable. They genuinely love each other: even after this they remain best friends. They even occasionally try to resume it. The problem is that they have serious points of incompatibility as mates. They probably should never have tried to be lovers.
4123925 Getting both parties to admit that would require divine intervention.
This is a beautiful sentence. I felt it needed to be isolated and properly praised.
In any case, a very good breakdown of why this relationship broke down. Blind loyalty and manipulative kindness do not a healthy relationship make.
And this is why I think you can write romance. Incompatibility can and will break any relationship. If the whole thing can be based off of nothing but compromise means that neither party will be happy. I also like that you realize the downside of Dash's loyalty, that's it's both blind and unguided at times and she needs a partner who can give her both focus and perspective. And that Fluttershy's kindness, while better now, still needs a partner someone who can draw her out and force to be direct.
Do I detect a shot against "Would it matter if I was", there?
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To some extent, though I had the basic idea for this when I wrote Fluttershy Is Free, in early 2014.
Look, no way would everypony be okay with Fluttershy keeping back such a huge secret. The secret's not as bad here -- Fluttershy was never actually one of the followers of Queen Chrysalis, she's simply Chrysalis' bastard daughter. And she's been raaised Pegasus. She actually fights against Chrysalis' swarm at Canterlot.
But yes. She should have told somepony. The key information here is less that she's half-Buzzy, but rather that Buzzies are real, and that she knows where there's a Hive of them. That simple information could have let Equestria develop countermeasures in advance, so that the attack on Canterlot might have been avoided. For that matter, studying how Fluttershy's personal magical signature differs from that of a full Pegasus might have let them do something else -- develop Changeling detectors.
Now, mind you, it's not entirely Fluttershy's fault that she didn't tell. She tried to tell Rainbow Dash, in Fluttershy Is Free. Dashie didn't believe her. She gave up on trying to tell anyone.
She should have told Twilight Sparkle instead. Twilight wouldn't have automatically believed her, but she would have been interested in the claim, especially given that it might explain Fluttershy's anamolous abilities. Twilight would have noticed Fluttershy's odd thaumic signature and begun investigating. The Mane Six might have -- carefully -- scouted out Hive Chrysalis. Fluttershy knew where it was, though not its extent.
The Princesses and the Mane Six (mostly) forgive Fluttershy for what she did, even though it had very bad consequences. Dashie, however, can't trust her completely any more. And that's fatal to Rainbow Dash's love.