Desh Reviews 5 · 11:22pm May 2nd, 2017
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Name: Shaping Love and War
Author: Sky Blue CMC
Rating: Teen
Genre: Random/Romance
Chapter Count: One
Review: I found this to be pleasantly pleasing. Sweet and shocking… I wouldn’t play a game with them though. I was dubiously shocked at the turn of events inside. I’d like to say if this was longer it would be much better. It seems as though it were written in an afternoon lying in bed. And believe me that shouldn’t mean it is terrible(hint one of my main places to write) just that it felt a tad rushed. More detail might help it, or finding a pace, since it feels off paced. Not quick, not slow… just lacking thereof.
Recommendation: 1/5 I would say give it a read if you have time. You might like it, but if you want something with more plot, or content, then this fic isn’t for you.
Name: On Deaf Ears
Author: Ice Star
Rating: Everyone
Genre: Sad/Romance
Chapter Count: One
Review: This one does pretty well. It lacks some stronger vocabulary which would have made it much better; it did at times make me speculate and wonder as to what happened between Celestia, Discord, and Luna. I think it dwelled a little too much on the fact that Discord can hear, but not move. Something that we, the readers, know full well. I loved the story, it deserves that sad tag; though in the first read I didn’t think as much. Bittersweet truly fits.
Recommendation: 3/5 I would say give it a shot. I recommend this one, it has the right tones to match.
Name: Her Special Gift
Author: Jordan179
Rating: Teen
Genre: Romance
Chapter Count: One
Review: I loved the fourth wall break. Pinkie going and talking to both the readers and the writer. The return of the Fluffy Ponies; I knew there were more. Cheese and Pinkie being Wed seems to be an interesting premise. I kinda wish to see the Wedding itself, but that has room for errors. It was refreshing to see inside of the mind of Pinkie. Those “worldlines” are rather interesting and finding Pinkie has the ability to manipulate them… is Pinkie immortal? Is Cheese now? These are some of the questions I had coming away from the story. I will commend Jordan179 for being able to not have many mistakes-- if I found any I didn’t write them down, and therefor don’t remember them. But through looking through it again I didn’t really find all that much wrong. Something just felt… off about the entire thing. I wish I could say what, but as it stands I’m not sure. Lastly characters. Pinkie and Cheese. Pinkie seemed like she was a little strange; yes she wasn’t out of character; no, she didn’t do anything wrong. It might of been the new “worldlines” thing. Now for Cheese… he was sleeping what is there to discuss.
Recommendation: 4/5 I would recommend giving this a read. It is one of the better romance stories I’ve read since Twilight’s Toys.
Name: An Attempt To Save A Friend
Author: Anstca
Rating: Teen
Genre: Sad
Chapter Count: One
Review: Well, this has some redeeming quality for all the grammatical mistakes, which I couldn’t even count on twenty hands; but it is focused on world building. It goes with saying, this is a moderate example of a world building type of story; it lacked the finer details and the plotting, as it focused on the interaction between the main character and the antagonist. After reading I had three thoughts; the first “what happens next? What happened before this?”; the second “what can I say about this?” and lastly “what has my life become that I have become a reviewer to such stories…” Not all of these will be answer through time, as much as I want them to be. I just don’t know what I can possibly say about this…
Recommendation: 2/5 While a good start for world building it lacked the finer detail, with some work this can be fixed and possibly “get good.” I would suggest giving it a read if you want to question your life, or if you want to start learning about an AU(Alternate Universe).
Thanks for reading. Vote for the next Fics in the comments, or by dropping me a PM.
Here is the Master List, which doubles as the rules.
Thank you for reviewing my story. 50 Star Points (
x 50) for you!!
4517825
Thanks? Next week I'll have the next in the series. Sorry it took so long to get it up, I took last Month off reviewing so I could get some stories done... while stories haven't been finished they are far more developed than they were; so I think it was worth it.
4517831 Well I'm glad you took time to do what you love... now I need to take some time to do what I love.
Thanks for the review! :)
At least its not a one. Thanks for being honest with me about it. And some of those questions will be answered. I an working on a story that happens before this, and I am kicking around the idea of making this in to a universe.
4517858
No problem. I don't know if you know, but your story is "Story of the Month" in The Shipshelf. Mirth enjoyed the story, that's a positive. ^^
4517860
I'm aware of that, just remember about the editor... I know someone has offered, though you didn't reply to their comment. But I'm sure you can score higher, let's see with the next. ^^
4517866 oooooh myyy
See Anstca that wasn't so bad. A new universe is now born.
4518334
Of course it wasn't too bad, just a little head chopping.