Side A - The Guard Post Mortem · 3:51pm Jul 15th, 2018
Hey all,
If you are reading this then you are interested in my notes on my writing of Side A The Guard. Know that this is completely optional and has no bearing on the story. This is more to force me to critically analyze my own story and identify what went well and what went bad. With that let's start the post-mortem.
The Good Stuff
1) Flash Sentry's Characterization
I love the characterization of Flash in this story. I like how he's just the right amount of silly and serious that really lets me do a lot with him. He ended up having a surprising amount of depth in his personality and history, which made him enjoyable to write. I really like him in this story and look forward to doing more with him in the future.
2) Side Characters
Shining Armour, first and foremost, ended up being one of favourite supporting characters to write in this story. His straight-laced and stoic attitude to Flash's silliness was a perfect counterbalance and I think really highlights both of their characters in the story. Pine Sap, Silver Mist, and Status Quo also became surprising breakout characters. They were originally supposed to be 'put them in and throw them away', but I ended up becoming attached to their individual quirkiness. They as a group I thought really worked and I want to see them all grow together as characters.
3) Comedy/Drama Balance
I believe in the Teen Titans and Last Airbender principle of storytelling: use comedy and goofy hijinks to soften the bitterness of the drama and tragedy. Flash's backstory to me was absolutely heartbreaking to write and I think if it had been immediate or not surrounded by the lovable goofball's ridiculousness it would have been too much. I'm glad I didn't rely on crude humour. I enjoy how naturally Flash seemed to be funny without resorting to an obvious joke or do some referential humour. I am quite proud of the comedic moments.
4) Romance
The heart of the whole story. I like Flash and Cocoa as a couple. I think they have good chemistry and I loved playing off their relationship with each other. Flash's lovable and affectionate silliness o Cocoa's mature demeanor really worked well and I hope that worked for the readers as well. I'm also so glad I decided to not do a 'Will they, Won't they' story. The story, at least to me, was so much more enjoyable specifically because it was about them traversing their relationship to each other rather than the courtship.
The Bad Stuff
1) Pacing
My pacing is bad. I go through some parts of the story way too quickly and I really needed to slow it down. The time skipping really should have been slowed down, but I didn't want to break up the chapters. I set out with the chapters conveying a part of their lives together and I think there should have been more. The timeline is also a mess. I really didn't think through the character's ages and the timeline in question the story was taking place in.
Oh and another thing. If you want to know how bad the pacing was, four of the chapters in this story weren't originally supposed to be there. Those chapters were: Let's Make Sweet Music Together (which was supposed to go straight to Dodge City then immediately Nightmare Moon), Consequence of a Mark (which was supposed to be incorporated in Chocolate and Mangos and only have a passing reference to Flash's dad Iron Wall), This Just In From Butt: Danger Incoming (nothing of which existed in the original outline), and Questionable Ethics (The pinnacle set up chapter for so much of Shining's character arc and his relationship with Flash).
It is insane how much the story changed once I started writing it. I got to the chapter just before Letters to Dodge City and then realized I was going way too fast. The time skips were completely unwieldy and the pacing was terrible. Those four chapters also ended up with some of the best moments in the story and were so integral to the Flash's development as a character and his relationship with Cocoa.
Really need to take that into consideration in the future.
2) Descriptions/Emotions
Speaking of not taking enough time to do things, I need to learn to write descriptions more. I am so adverse to flowery language and overblown descriptions that I've gotten into a nasty habit of not doing it at all when I write. I really need to learn to take time to go over the character's emotional impact and describe, you know, the story. There are so many parts of the story that would have been better if I took my time and properly described everything and drew it out, but alas I can only try to improve now.
3) Transitions
Flow in the story is paramount to me. Everything should follow logically and keep to the character's story. Wish I could write transitional scenes worth crap then. Oh my goodness, I am so bad with transitions. I just can't seem to write them without them being so completely unnecessary. I need to get some help on doing those properly because I really need to stop doing scene cuts in certain parts just because I don't feel like writing they walked. Speaking of transitions...
4) The Wedding
sigh
Okay, so let me tell you why this chapter was such a rushed mess. First off, this was when Cocoa was supposed to let Flash know he was a Changeling. No, seriously. I was going to keep it a secret all the way to the end of this chapter. That was a stupid idea and I'm glad it happened earlier. Secondly, I could not write this chapter right. I tried so many ways for Shining being rescued or Chrysalis delayed and I found that everything was just... bad. Really bad. I like Flash's ridiculous plan to kidnap Shining, but it could have done better. The only thing I did right in this chapter is the ending with Flash coming to terms that things won't end well for him against Chrysalis.
Also, this chapter was hard to write the full thing for. I had the huge problem that there was no way in Tartarus that Flash or Cocoa wouldn't figure out Chrysalis was Cadence immediately. No way. Also, that Shining knew about Changelings at this point, not something that had been planned to happen, threw a huge wrench in that plan as well.
Honestly, I just wanted so bad not to have to write out a huge chapter for the wedding that I ended up doing some short constricted piece of garbage. I am genuinely sorry for writing something so subpar.
Conclusion
Anyways, I did things good and bad in equal measure. Hopefully, I can only improve from here. Until nex time, enjoy ~!
I'm sure you have had many of edits but I for one find it to be quite perfect at this point. Right, a few things may have been rushed but hey, it happens.
Keep it up and I can't wait to see more! I love this story, such adorabe moments!
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Thank you for the encouragement ~!