Equestria Girls Headcanon Nonsense: Skin Deep · 6:31pm Jan 21st, 2019
The girls are all attractive. I don't think that's in dispute for any of us. But, much like their wildly different personalities, their types of attractiveness vary as well. And it's not unreasonable to assume that their own self-images may not reflect the opinions of those who see them. So, to that end, a brief digression into rating the girls on a 1 to 10 scale for various types of attractiveness. As always, this is completely arbitrary and subjective.
The categories are:
Classical -- The baseline default standard of beauty as agreed upon by most of society.
Hotness -- A rating of sexiness. It is entirely possible for someone to be a more of a classical beauty but less sexy.
Cuteness -- How adorable others perceive them.
Self-Awareness -- a rating of how much they are aware of their own attractiveness
Notes -- An overall analysis of the above ratings.
Fluttershy
Classical: 7
Hotness: 6
Cuteness: 8
Self-Aware: 4
Notes: Fluttershy is more cute than sexy, which is not a bad thing. In classical terms, she has the looks of a model when the right outfit and make up are applied but as herself she still takes a good picture. However, her own shyness and insecurities mean she doesn't really see herself as attractive, or, to be more accurate, even thinks much about her own attractiveness at all. But she does like looking at herself in the mirror from time to time and has days where she thinks "Damn, I look good!"
Rainbow Dash
Classical: 5
Hotness: 7
Cuteness: 5
Self-Aware: 6
Notes: For those who like athletic girls, Rainbow is a fine catch. She cleans up nice when needed to, but in terms of classical beauty, she's about average in everyday mode. That said, her active lifestyle means she well-toned and firm in all the right places, which ups the hotness factor quite a bit. And while she bridles at being called "cute," she does have her moments, especially when doting on Tank. Her self-awareness is as low as it is not because she doesn't think she's attractive, but because of her competitive nature and ego, she tends to believe she's more attractive than she actually is... and will not stop talking about it if the subject comes up.
Pinkie Pie
Classical: 7
Hotness: 6
Cuteness: 9
Self-Aware: 8
Notes: Pinkie's self-confidence and almost illegal levels of cute are what push most of her stats as high as they are. Plenty of people find Pinkie's cuteness sexy, and in terms of classical beauty, it wouldn't be unlikely that, in another time, Pinkie might have been the subject of a Reubens painting. Her self-confidence also translates into self-awareness of her own beauty. Which is why she's perfectly willing to wear the most outlandish things ever. Even if it looks ridiculous, somehow she makes it work for her in one of the three areas.
Applejack
Classical: 8
Hotness: 7
Cuteness: 4
Self-Aware: 5
Notes: Applejack doesn't think a lot about her looks, but her natural beauty does make her a striking figure in classical terms. Year of framework have given her a toned physique like Rainbow, thus upping the hotness quotient. Applejack would be described as "handsome" more often than cute. But, her self-awareness of her own beauty is higher than Fluttershy's because while AJ may not use the knowledge of make up and "gettin' fancy," that doesn't mean she doesn't have it. Unlike her Equestrian counterpart, AJ has yet to have an occasion to use the make up and fashion knowledge she has. The day she does, Rarity will probably go catatonic with jealousy.
Rarity
Classical: 9
Hotness: 8
Cuteness: 5
Self-Aware: 10
Notes: Of course Rarity's aware of how attractive she is! You think a look like that just happens? Her bone structure, regimented diet and exercise regime, and careful adherence to the current trends of fashion and makeup keep her on her toes, as well as changing often enough to keep things fresh. Rarity deliberately tries more for classical and hot over cute, but she has her moments of adorable.
Twilight Sparkle
Classical: 6
Hotness: 6
Cuteness: 8
Self-Aware: 3
Notes: Even more so than her Equestrian princess counterpart, Twilight is the embodiment of "adorkable." Cute is what she excels at without trying. Her nerd chic look is more thanks to assistance from Rarity, which ups her hotness quotient to its current level. Of course, Twilight barely thinks about her own attractiveness, except when it comes to meeting up with Timber. That's the point where she runs, panicked, to Rarity for help.
Sunset Shimmer
Classical: 7
Hotness: 8
Cuteness: 6
Self-Aware: 1
Notes: Sunset has the kind of looks other girls would kill for. The only reason her classical stat isn't on the same level as Rarity's is because Rarity spends hours getting her look right. Sunset rarely wears make up, and usually just has to shower and go without anything more than brushing her hair. Nearly anything she wears looks good on her, but most of the time she doesn't think about it. She just wears what she likes. In fact, it would come as news to her that anyone thought she was exceptionally attractive. She considers her looks to be pretty average, certainly nowhere near as cute or hot, or attractive as her friends. Part of this is because of her former life as a pony, but the other part is through genuine humility and a sincere belief that she isn't anything special in the looks department... but she will acknowledge that her hair kicks ass.
What do you think? Am I on the money? Am I way off? How would you rate the girls and what do you head canon they think of their own looks?
I think you nailed it.
Though I think we can all agree on this: If offered, we'd give all the cuddles. To any of the girls; doesn't matter who.
Huh. I would've thought Rarity would have tens in all but cuteness, which has the right number.
There's a story concept...
These seem largely on the money, though Sunset presents an interesting case when we consider her before her reformation. Did she not care what the hairless apes thought of her, or was sex appeal just one more weapon in her manipulative arsenal? Because if the latter, even the Rainbow Beam of Fix Everything wouldn't be enough to completely rewrite how she thinks others think of her aesthetically.
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For myself (much like the rest of these), I think she just didn't care what other people thought of her looks. I don't really see her using sex appeal to get what she wanted back then, unlike, say, Adagio.
But that's just me.
I think you nailed it