Rage Review: Resist and Bite (Chapter 15) · 5:50am May 2nd, 2020
Chapter 15: Consulation
Now this could be "consultation" or "consolation." For reasons involving the contents of the chapter, I suspect the latter. Though I am amused at the thought of Charlie Lam becoming a "consul" (diplomatic representative), given his demonstrated total ineptitude at diplomacy.
Charlie slowly moaned and opened his eyes slightly. He couldn't stand up because his head was really hurt after he was shot in the neck by a tranquilizer dart from a Chinese soldier.
Points for Story for realizing that being (even chemically) knocked out isn't just happy dream-sleep.
Captain Zhou speaks to him, bringing him the rest of the way awake.
"You know infiltration in a military work is an illegal act that can sentence you to jail for a while right?"
Oh heck, Zhou, it's much worse than that. Charlie is an "unlawful combatant." not a Prisoner of War or Civilian Internee. General Jin could quite rightly have him executed on the spot.
Charlie then meets the main baddie:
He then heard some footsteps in front of him. He looked in front of him and saw a soldier in a green suit with badges on the upper left of his shirt. He also has dark hair and black eyes. Charlie must assume that he is the Lieutenant General of the Chinese army.
I'm guessing Story means "green uniform with medals on the upper left of his tunic." Also, there would be rank insignia, usually on cap and shoulders, and possibly elsewhere depending on the armed force.
"Your not much of a reader are you? ... You didn't read much about the laws, did you?" Jin asked.
As I mentioned, Jin is absolutely right about this. Australia is not at war with the PRC, nor is Charlie Lam part of the armed forces of Australia. Charlie may feel it's the morally right thing to do to side with Equestria in this, but the fact remains that he has injected himself into the situation.
Now, Charlie could argue that he is effectively acting as a member of the Equestrian armed forces, but (1) this is probably illegal under Australian law and (2) it's clear that the PRC doesn't recognize the legitimacy of Equestria.
"Where's Luster Dawn?" Charlie asked with an expression of anxiety towards the Lieutenant General.
"Oh, you mean the pink unicorn?" Jin asked "She is in jail in the basement." He told her.
On the one hand, it's dangerous to make it too obvious to Jin how concerned you are with Luster Dawn -- it gives him more leverage over you. On the other hand, it makes him less likely to casually kill her.
Jin then bent down and observed the teenager who has transformed into an alicorn, and he was astonished by his appearance.
"My goodness, look at you. You are like a soldier." Jin said with a chuckle.
???
If your definition of "soldier" is winged unicorn, then sure!
Then he gave him a glare "You came here to kill me did you?" He asked.
"I didn't came here to kill you or your men." Charlie said between breaths "I just came here to have a peaceful negotiation with you to release all of the creatures of Equestria." He confronted.
Perhaps, but wouldn't it have been more reasonable to contact Jin by radio if you wanted to do that, Charlie? Don't tell me that you have a wristcomp and magic safety goggles and can hack into the Chinese military intelligence network but have no means of sending a message to General Jin?
Come on, he's generalmetalplates@pla.mil.prc.gov! Or wuxiaelbows@gmail.com to his friends!
"A peaceful negotiation you say?" Jin asked incredulously "Like that would ever happen. There is no way that I will talk to you you reckless teenager." He insulted.
(1) General Jin, aren't you the least bit curious as to why Charlie is there or what other Ponies may have said to him?
(2) "Confronted" and "insulted"are almost too Tom-Swiftie to be even Tom-Swiftie speech tags. "Said confrontationally" and "said insultingly" work better gramatically, but are still poor writing technique.
When Charlie heard the insult, he stood up and attempted to charge towards the Lieutenant General. But he was stopped by Zhou when he came up to him and aimed his pistol directly at his face. And his hooves were also cuffed so there was no way that he could punch him or walk.
Charlie, do you remember that you can project a protective force field?
When Charlie realized that he couldn't move because of the cuffs on his hooves and the soldier captain in front of him with his gun pointed at his head. He unwillingly had to sigh in defeat and began to corporate with Lieutenant General Jin.
I guess Charlie doesn't remember. Shame.
Charlie tries to say something to General Jin, but the General commands:
"That's enough talking. Zhou, take him to the underground prison. He and Luster Dawn will be enslaved by tomorrow."
Thus, missing out on a chance to get information.
Jin is a poor interrogator.
And while walking, Charlie saw some Chinese swat units as well as some soldiers in the hallway, some of them were starring at him either viewing him as an infiltrator or a temerarious teenager. And the others were beating some ponies, dragons, changelings, Griffons and yaks. And the sight made Charlie feel so disconsolated.
He is both an "infiltrator" and a "temerarious (that's how it's spelled] teenager."
What, do they just beat up prisoners in the halls? Doesn't that kind of block foot traffic?
So they put Charlie in a cell with Luster Dawn.
This is a rather strange thing for them to do, because he is known to be Luster's associate, and putting them together makes it more likely they will escape together. One obvious motive for them choosing to do so would be in the hopes that they would talk to each other and thus provide useful intelligence, assuming that they have the cell bugged.
Captain Zhou leaves them alone together, whereupon Luster comes up and gives Charlie a big hug.
"The Lieutenant General said that I am now a wanted fugitive... and if I attempt to escape... with you again... he will immediately kill me, my parents and you as well." Luster Dawn said between sobs. Then, she cried.
That's one of the points of keeping both of them alive. Each can stand hostage for the other, as the General would have been wise to make explicit before.
Charlie was horrified when he heard what Luster Dawn had said. He then shook all of that aside and embraced her in a hug and began to hug and comfort her, and Luster Dawn hugged Charlie back and began to cry and let everything out. And her tears flowed through his torn science coat.
And that's the dramatic point of putting them in together -- so that there can be a "comfort" to match the "hurt" in a "comfort/hurt" dynamic.
Which is why I think the chapter is titled "Consolation."
And the chapter is over.
In some stories, cold iron and/or the works of man disrupt magic. Here, they just seem to make creatures forget it exists.
Especially the yaks. That's a lot of hallway space getting eaten up.
Seriously. For all that Jin's points revolve around how plucky heroes don't fit into modern warfare, the whole scene is still the sort of "villain gloats at hero" situation that mostly occur in computer RPGs, complete with cutscene incompetence.
I'm amazed that that lab coat survived all the clumsy fight scenes and diplomatic disasters, to say nothing of the initial transformation.
And given the things the Chinese have done, both in this story, and IRL, it'd probably be less surprising if they'd done so. It's not like his friends would be able to say anything about it that's believable. There'd be practically no consequences of substance.
"Help! My friend, Charlie Lam has gone missing! The Chinese must've got 'em!"
"How did he disappear?"
"He hacked into the Chinese Teleporter remotely based off of a publicly available YouTube video, and used it remotely, after seeing a news report that shouldn't have existed, based on what's happening in another dimension/universe, that is to say Equestria!"
"...I think you need to be involuntarily committed."
Hmm... there's another "delusions/delirium" idea, lol. MaybeCharliedoesn't even exist in this story."There is no 'Charlie Lam.'"
Nah, he just had to walk into enemy territory, without any contingencies, because he's a wise genius, because the story said so.
I think the chapter was originally titled "Meeting the Lieutenant General" or some such, as a side note.
I think the next chapter is more... meaty in stuff to go over, aside from being longer. You might have more fun with that one (no, not saying it got so much better, lol).
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Even if it didn't rip apart on the actual transformation, or wasn't too loose fitting or something (not unlikely, either of them), was Charlie portrayed as say, cutting any wing holes in the lab coat? I'm thinking... no.
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So... what was his contingency plan for if those negotiations didn't pan out very well? Fight everyone off on his lonesome? Have Luster teleport them out? Because neither one is very good.
It also doesn't make sense why Luster Dawn would be on board for even trying diplomacy with Jin, considering what she'd experienced in the first chapter, with her witnessing the senseless execution of some mare, under his orders.
I'd noticed.