Love Thy Night
The last of several chests and trunks were placed into the royal carriage that was weighed down with several amounts of luggage that had been dragged out of the Golden Oaks Library in the center of the rural town of Ponyville, a small town known for its large Earth Pony population, strong economic background dependent on agriculture, and the six Elements of Harmony that had saved the land of Equestria on more than one occasion now. The small city, however, was deathly silent in this early hour of the morning. The only company that the lavender alicorn princess had was of the two royal guards in back of the carriage, guarding it silently, and the two harnessed Pegasus guards in front that would be transporting the Princess of Friendship and her possessions into the palace of Canterlot, only a few hours flight away.
While Twilight Sparkle let out a small sigh of relief and at last sat herself down onto the carriage, a strong and patient masculine voice broke the silence at last, piercing the air around the princess with a bit of nervousness. This would be the first time she would be returning home to the city of Canterlot for the first time in several years, and instead of being a student training under Princess Celestia's watchful eye, she would be helping as the co-ruler of the prospering kingdom. The thought of her new duties sent fear into her heart, a sense of excitement made the blood in her veins to stop,"Are you prepared to depart, Princess Sparkle?"
Twilight arched an eyebrow and offered a polite unseen smile that was veiled by the darkness of the early morning. Her own eyes were attempting to make out the familiar shape of the tree that she had called her home for so long, a place of harmony and unity for the city of Ponyville and her five best friends, all of them whom had accompanied her into her full transformation into the powerful mare that she was today. She could feel the briefest of tears begin to penetrate the corner of her eyes, but she quickly blinked them away and silently whispered,"Yes." Without another word, the two Pegasus guards rose into the air, working easily with the weight of the luggage and the princess. Once they were airborne, the ride became smooth and easy.
As they glided over the town of Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle leaned slightly over the edge of the carriage, resting her chin upon the side. Her eyelids drooped down, and her ears flattened as she watched the lights of the city begin to fade away before her, and all of the memories she made following them. Her heart yearned to stay where she knew she belong as a simple pony, but that life was over now. Now she was some-pony else, somepony that had grown and achieved a legendary status at becoming not only an honorary pupil of Princess Celestia, the wielder and finder of the ancient Elements of Harmony, but one of the princesses of Equestria. She could still feel the uncertainly she had felt she first arrived in Ponyville, how she was hardly even able to greet some ponies without scuffing her hoof into the dirt and shyly answering a question before making an excuse to return to her studies. As she felt the tears begin to well again, she closed her eyes and drifted off into an peaceful slumber.
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The next time that they landed onto the ground, they were in a large portion of stone surrounded by well trimmed green grass and healthy-looking bushes that sprouted native flowers. The sun warmly lit the coat of the slumbering unicorn, surrounding her like a soft blanket. When she felt the carriage come to a halt upon the ground, she slowly arched her head and yawned, glancing around at her settings. They'd arrived directly in front of the bridge that connected the city to the royal palace of the two Princesses she'd been eagerly awaiting to see. The wooden bridge was freshly painted recently, and the water that ran underneath it sparkled clearly, showing no signs of pollution.
One of the guards approached around the side of the carriage and bowed before the lavender alicorn, before standing up straight and offering her a polite hoof, which she politely accepted. Stepping down onto the stone below her, she stretched her legs and wings, grateful to at last move freely. Her ears twitched slightly as she was greeted to unfamiliar hooves approaching her, but was satisfied to see that three more guards had appeared to greet the princess and take her belongings into her private quarters within the palace. While she bidded them farewell, she made her way over the draw bridge, and momentarily paused to turn and glance over the side and into the clear waters below. The rippling of the water made her reflection dance, but she could tell that her hair was windblown and her eyes were still heavy from recently waking up.
She was greeted with large pillars carved out of gold from some of the greatest artisans centuries before, each gold tile was decorated with a different picture, telling the story of a heroes return home, a simple day at the park, or a love story that was left unfinished. Twilight stopped and gazed at this particular unfinished story, leaning forward as she marveled at the fine craftsmanship. However, what could her eye the most was the outline of two uncolored ponies, one slightly taller than the other, standing side by side and gazing up at a star-lit world above them. Stars surrounded the moon in the shape of a heart, a very odd sight that Twilight could of sworn she had never read about during her studies on stars themselves. She'd memorized every constellation that was known to ponykind, but here she was, dumbfounded by this marvelous but mysterious display of romantic affection within the sky on this gold tile.
Her thoughts were interrupted as she turned around and met contact with the leg of somepony much taller than herself. She gasped out in shock, but began to flush underneath her fur as she saw the friendly smile of Princess Celestia. Her eyes made contact with the with soft combination of purple and pink irises. The elder alicorn placed a comforting hoof upon her former pupil's shoulder, and tilted her head to the side."I apologize for startling you, Twilight, however, I should have been the one that was not lingering behind you. I welcome you back to Canterlot, as both a dear friend and temporary leader." The princess's smile faltered at the end of her greeting, but she attempted to hide it. Twilight, however, stared at her with wide eyes, attempting to find the words to respond.
"Princess Celestia, what do you mean "temporary leader"? Has something happened within the palace that wasn't meant to, was there a secret war, did somepony attempt to assassinate you and Princess Luna?" The lavender alicorn was babbling now, her eyes wide with fear, and her mouth pressed into a firm straight line. She continued to stare at her mentor, but was only met with a sad smile and a soft sigh.
"There has been no threats of anyone attempting to pursue any damage to us, Twilight, but there is a more dire reason. I am becoming older now, and despite the factor that I am nearly immortal, my body still withers away from several centuries of stress of ruling an empire. As of recently, I've had some personal issues among myself that I need to tend to, as they have been effecting my personal health and rational decision making. That is why I called upon you, dearest Twilight, to help my sister with the ruling of the empire while I am away. She is prepared to take on such a responsibility, however, I fear that the stress and anxiety may begin to affect her, which is why I wish for you to stay beside her as both a ruler and friend."
Twilight nodded her head slowly, before bowing down before the elder princess."As you wish, Princess Celestia. I promise that I will not let you, nor Princess Luna, down." Her eyes flickered upwards momentarily to examine the tall alicorn mare, and she was met with a comforting smile. The elder mare walked towards her pupil, and wrapped a hoof around her in a warm and affectionate hug.
"Twilight Sparkle, I am entrusting you to rule in place of this kingdom for a few short weeks, perhaps a bit longer. Princess Luna has attempted to repair her public image while you've all been away in Ponyville, and has made much progress but I fear that she will also need you as both a friend and mentor in my absence. If something is to happen to my little sister, it shall be upon your head, Princess Twilight." Princess Celestia raised her head now and narrowed her eyebrows, firmly focusing upon the shorter alicorn before her. Twilight gulped nervously and trailed her eyes away from her mentor, offering a nervous laugh in placement.
"Of course, why would I want to ever hurt Princess Luna? I can assure you that I will do my absolute best to ensure that Canterlot is kept safe and secure. Shining Armor is supposed to be stationed her for security once more for the next year, according to the letters he has written me, is that true?" The lavender mare asked hopefully, staring around at the large corridor they had now entered, as if to see if somehow her elder brother may magically teleport in front of her.
"Sadly, he is not. Shining Armor agreed to stay and rule with Princess Cadence in the Crystal Empire." Celestia's eyes trailed around the room for a moment, and the two paused as the sound of hoof steps echoed down one of the several elegant hallways. Within just a few seconds, the Princess of the Night approached a nervously laughing Twilight Sparkle and content Celestia.
"Princess Twilight Sparkle, it is an honor that I get to greet thee again, I assume that the civilians of Ponyville have fared well underneath the presence of the newest princess?" Luna's voice was inquisitive and her midnight-pattern mane swirled around her in various directions. The younger sister had approached Celestia and Twilight now and was standing next to her sister, her posture straight and proud.
Twilight Sparkle bowed slightly before Princess Luna and offered a small smile, her lips curving upwards as she felt a small fluttering begin to form in the pit of her stomach. She'd seen Princess Luna on several occasions next to her sister, but at this moment, in the manner of which the proud alicorn princess was standing so proud and tall and was humbly unaware of her own influence on the newest princess was somehow pleasing to Twilight. Luna stared at Twilight for a few long seconds, her gaze lingering and then flickering around awkwardly.
"I will openly assume that the silence means that it is a yes.." The princess commented, before turning to walk away, leaving a baffled Twilight still attempting to find the words to say.
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Night has fallen swiftly upon the palace and the city of Canterlot, with Luna’s bright and twinkling stars lighting up the clear night. Twilight Sparkle had retreated to her corridors after a large meal full of the freshest and finest fruit she’d ever tasted in her life. She’d been seated a long table with several rows of tall chairs. At the end of the table sat Princess Celestia, to her Celestia’s left sat Luna, and across from Luna was Twilight Sparkle. The three had eaten in peace for a short amount of time, before Celestia had excused herself from the table for a sudden sprout of growing illness she’d been feeling since before dinner. While the elder sister left the pair of younger princesses alone, Luna glanced wearily across the table.
“Why has thou not spoken to me since she hath come from the cheerful and joyous hovel known as Ponyville?” Princess Luna inquired while she used her horn to magically levitate a fork and press it gently down into a piece of steamed broccoli. The princess’s blue eyes bore into Twilight Sparkle, as she sat stiffly in her chair.
“I apologize, Princess Luna, but I have been rather busy with Celestia showing me the ropes of how to take care of her positions while she is gone. While the servants and royal adviser are plenty of help, I’d rather have my own twist on thing.” Twilight had hardly touched her food since Celestia’s excuse from the table, and she could feel the awkward tension in the air that surrounded them. It wasn’t that the younger sister made her uncomfortable, unlike most other ponies whom she seemed to intimidate just by standing beside, but since earlier today she couldn’t shake the feeling that the younger sister was a bit more than upset that she’d brushed her off earlier that day.
“Are the servants not enough to please thou, Twilight Sparkle? Perhaps you need more, or perhaps I shall take on the duties of ruling this kingdom while sister Celestia is away. Since you apparently cannot learn the, as you ponies now say, ‘basics’.” The dark alicorn stabbed her fork into another piece of broccoli, before her magical aura around it disappeared and the fork clattered loudly onto the plate, followed by a silence as the two mares stared at each other.
“Perhaps I should return to my room for the night, good night Princess Luna.” Twilight scurried from the table and offered a nervous smile over her shoulder as she walked quickly out of the dining hall. Once she was in the massive hallways of the castle, she broke into a canter as if trying to escape the distant glare that Luna had been giving her.
Twilight had buried her face under her pillow later that night, attempting to block out the anger she had her in Luna’s usually calm and unwavering voice. The mare had always been so blunt and honest, but never had she snapped at Twilight. While the two ponies were newer friends, they had often times secretly kept in touch through late night letters at the library, or visiting through a magical mirror spell that when two unicorns of immense magical property stood in front of a mirror that was encoded with both their magical essences, they could see each other like a two-way window. It was their way of meeting privately without having to worry about distance and time restraints, the two often could just talk in solace while they allowed the night time breeze to wash over their coats and talk about their lives.
Twilight clearly didn’t have as much time spent walking Equestria and its neighbors as the Princess of the Night, so most of the time it was of Luna telling the stories. Stories of old foals tales that had been forgotten to the passages of time, stories of ponies Twilight had only read in her books. Luna seemed to have a remark or a tale to speak of about each major pony in Equestrian history, and the the young princess could listen to her speak all night about the places she’d been. Wild jungles, cold tundras, blazing deserts. The way that the mare expressed herself through words was the sign of a true poet at heart, somepony who’d spent time studying the arts of her subjects.
With a sudden urge of energy, Twilight Sparkle sat upright in her bed, throwing the sheets to the ground. Walking over to a large oak dresser that she’d placed her belongings neatly inside of, she reached down to the second drawer, opening it with ease with her magic. Levitating a few pieces of parchment out and a quill, she walked to a large table and placed the parchment down, staring at it. Scratching a few marks onto the paper, the scholar began writing. She used at least three pieces of paper before completing her final draft, free of any errors or mistakes she’d checked for about five times a piece.
Dearest Princess Luna,
We are having an awkward amount of contact lately and I apologize for this. I would like to see you tonight if you are willing to sit down and have a conversation with a young and naive princess such as myself. It would be in both our best interests that we clear the air of any negative emotions. I apologize I have done anything wrong, please send word when you get this letter.
Your friend,
Twilight Sparkle
Twilight ignited her horn, sending the parchment off with a small ribbon of purple tied around it. She bit her lip nervously and walked over to a large mirror, brushing her mane down. Anxiously, she paced the room. Back and forth. Back and forth. Tap, tap, tap. The minutes ticked by without a word from the Princess that watched over the stars, but in a burst of blue light, a piece of parchment levitated to Twilight Sparkle. Eagerly, she opened it up, reading the message.
Galloping through the hallways of the palace, the lavender alicorn spiraled to the grand room of the pony whom awaited her. A large crescent moon surrounded by small golden engravings of stars hung above a grand doorway. On it, a knocker with a statue head of a lion biting the bar hung. Twilight noted the strange decor, but used her magic to knock gently with the knocker.
Moments later, a familiar voice echoed to her in respond,”Enter!” Twilight swallowed the hard lump in her throat and tediously opened the door, approaching the room. It was just the same as any room, but the bed was larger, the shelves were piled with parchments, scrolls, and books. Outside of Luna’s bedroom stood a large balcony that had the perfect view of her night sky. Glass doors were open to the room, and the other princess stood silhouetted in the moonlight that cascaded down.
Twilight slowly approached her, clearing her throat as she walked onto the balcony. A warm breeze caught her mane, ruffling it up slightly. The young sister turned her head over her shoulder, gazing coldly at the approaching princess.”Twilight Sparkle, tho- you have came tonight, has my words affected you so?” Her lips almost threatened to curl up into a sly smile, but she held a placid expression.
“Actually, Princess, they have. While we were in the palace earlier today I was lost in thought about something that I’d only recently realized, something I would have never thought possible. A spark, an energy that ignites in me like the stars in your sky.” The breeze flowed with her mane, as she walked to the edge of the balcony railing, staring up at the bright sky above. Luna’s eyes, however, were on her.
“What conclusions have you come up with, it is very unkempt of you to awake at such an hour and then send mineself a letter, asking to speak about such trivial and petty matters.” The taller mare turned her head downwards to stare at Twilight, but the coldness she’d left off earlier had been tempered with and she just remained neutral, listening to the younger mare speak.
“Princess Luna, I mean... Luna,” Twilight almost choked on the name, it sounded bitter in her mouth, but the warmth in her chest that spread from it felt plainly right,” You and I have been speaking for quite some time, sharing stories and experiences. We are close friends, and not once do I recall being in a debate or argument with you, so why do you keep treating me as if I’m your enemy, and not your friend and ally?”
“You are foolish, Twilight Sparkle, for I have not the slightest idea of what you are speaking about.” Luna gazed upwards, staring at the moon as if she were attempting to divert her gaze away from the inquiring mare.
“Yes, you do. You have every idea about what I am speaking about! I have trusted things to you that some of my friends do not even know, let alone Princess Celestia, my own mentor.” The lavender alicorn flared her wings out in emphasis, but her voice remained calm.
“Young princess of Friendship, you are still learning in your talents, still striving for the best. However, you can read the mind of mineself, the mind of a mare whom had been lost to time, to tales and legends that plague her like my stars plague my night. I am a princess, coming from a time period where loving a mare was still as normal, if not more normal, than today. I have thought my heart to be frozen in time, sedated through all the cracks and splinters it had acquired over the years of my nightmare and lunar prison.” She turned her head to the sky, allowing the purple scholar to speak, but she was only met with glowing violet eyes that bore into the side of her face, tempting her to continue with her words.
“Tell me, Twilight Sparkle, have you ever fallen in love?” Luna appeared almost afraid to ask the question, as if the answer would impact her harshly if she’d been given the wrong answer.
Twilight shook her head, drawing slightly closer to the taller princess, her eyes searching her face,”No, I certainly have not, not from what I can tell, at least. I’ve only ever read about love, but the concept to me is something that I believe I will have to feel on my own, not from my books, just like the magic of friendship.”
“Twilight Sparkle, you are young now but you are above your friends in terms of psychical capability, and even mental. True friendship comes from understanding, something you possess a natural gift for. In my years as a princess, I have not grown fond or close to many lovers, because I watched several of my closest friends pass away with our memories into the folds of time, piercing the veil of death only through my memories, and there are numerous ones to remember and recall. Each star in my sky is in a memory of a pony whom left an impact on me, a pony that has made me remember...” She took in a deep breath before sitting down, and extending a large wing to wrap around Twilight, curling the alicorn into her side.
“That love, Twilight Sparkle, is something I have felt for you and will continue to for the rest of time. All the stars in this galaxy, can not count the amount of love I have for you.”
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Nice, Need One Sequel
Perhaps if it gets over 50 likes, I will be tempted to write one. :) I want this one to take off at least though.
Twiluna YAY
This is a good story, but it could be a great one. I would recommend you find an editor, preferably one who will fix your comma splices.
4716789 I will hold you to that sequel Kaye's
4718415
Twilight Sparkle fell asleep in the carriage ride, the sun was up and peaking down when they arrived in Canterlot, however, I see the mistake when I mentioned "unicorn" and not "alicorn".
Pretty nice story, I like the open ending.
But you need to proofread what you write, there's a lot of mistakes that could've been avoided like that. On top of that, you should try to use less words, there are many spots where the whole sentence feels forced because it has one too many adjectives, or it can even be redundant in its entirety.
Anyway, your storyline was nice, keep it up!
This feels like the first chapter of a much larger story instead of a one-shot. I bid you good author, to continue.
4718756 4718415 4716925 4716789 4716771
For some reason i find it odd that all your comments have exactly one like and one dislike even as they are non hateful.
4722690
heck... no problem 
funny, maybe it's because someone doesn't like twiluna
4724915 I guess haters will be haters, and sometimes not even copious amounts of love and tolerance can change that
4725009 yeah
daww that ending.
I don't understand this story. There's so much wrong with almost every level of this story.
First, Twilight has to leave her home in Ponyville for reasons? Probably should have had an alternate universe tag for all the inconsistencies this causes. Her friends don't see her off before her "new life," I'm sure they won't be upset about that at all.
Then she gets to Canterlot and gets promptly threatened by Celestia whom, despite trusting Twilight to saving Equestria, The Crystal Empire, and Celestia and Luna's own lives, doesn't seem to trust Twilight around her sister without a threat on her head.
Transition to dinner where Luna is speaking with the Royal Canterlot Voice despite having dropped it in in the recent season. Luna then glares angrily and treats Twilight like a stranger for no discernible reason.
Twilight finally visits Luna to clear the air. Upon seeing Twilight who seems upset, Luna nearly smiles at her in what I can only assume is taking pleasure in seeing Twilight in distress.
Luna listens to Twilight's pleas about how they have been talking with each other and how close they seem to have gotten and then Luna goes on to basically say, "I have no clue what you're talking about." Luna follows that up by basically saying that Twilight's friends are insignificant compared to her, despite them being very important to her powers as the princess of friendship. Sure would like to see Twilight go up against Applejack or Rainbow Dash in a test of physical capability. I think Luna would be shocked how well that would turn out
Finally, in what should be the final payoff, a cute and fluffy scene where they can be together, Luna simply wraps her wing around Twilight and says she loves her very much.
That's it. It might as well have been a black screen saying the end like an old school nes game.
The thing that really bugged me the most about this fic is that it was well written. Despite some typos, the moment to moment detail is great and puts me in the story. Too bad the out of character behavior and inexplicable choices story-wise drags me out and just makes me wonder what the intent was.
4761211
Picky, picky, and more picky. Do I need to explain this? First of all, several plot lines are based around Twilight Sparkle leaving Ponyville for reasons such as royal duties, training into becoming a full-fledged princess, and sometimes an emergency that requires the Elements of Harmony. If you would have read more closely, Celestia explains that Twilight Sparkle will be gone for a few weeks at most.
Following the threat that Celestia makes to Twilight, it is not some much of distrust but of an over protective sister behavior. Celestia, despite having to banish Princess Luna to the moon for the 1,000 years she was imprisoned, still plays a very protective big sister role to Luna. Celestia clearly trusts Twilight, as she is leaving her as a temporary ruler of Canterlot while she is away on "vacation".
The dinner follows pursuit of the way that Luna stares at Twilight, it doesn't mean she dislikes Twilight in the least. As shown later in the story, the two have become quite close. With each hour passing since Twilight's arrival to the castle, they have been almost like strangers. Think about it, you could spend hours talking to a person on Skype, email, or even webcam through Skype, but when you are faced with confronting your feeling in a face-to-face scenario, you are always going to be faced with a different outcome.
My version of Luna in this story is placed strictly around fanfiction. As much as fanfiction goes, there would hardly be a possibility that Celestia would leave Canterlot for a mere vacation, considering in the story itself she is entirely dedicated to being Equestria's primary ruler. My version of Luna, however, has yet to confront how to react. She uses the Royal Canterlot Voice in a concept of attention-grabbing, and something which she uses when faced with a situation where she feels smaller. Even though she has had power for a longer time and is much older than Twilight, Luna in this story has clearly not had much romantic attention. After being banished to the moon for a thousand years, being disowned by her subjects in the beginning of her return from her banishment and her saving from Nightmare Moon, she is very naive. Luna, as portrayed in this story, does not have an understanding of how to deal with romance.
While Twilight's friends are as much as an important role to her as Celestia and Luna are, if not more, you have to remember that Twilight shares her own crowning achievements separate from each and every one of them. While Rainbow Dash and Applejack have positions of power among the population of Ponyville and the Apple family, and a personal relationship with the princess, it still doesn't change that Twilight has a very important role with the princess over the rest. When the Elements of Harmony were trapped, Celestia entrusted Twilight to watch over the alicorn magic of Cadence, Luna, and herself. Without much help, Twilight defeated Tirek and saved her friends. It would take the entire group of the other 5 just to figure out what to do and make a plan in an attempt to save Twilight.
The story does not wrap up all ties because this is leaving room open for a sequel, as a few previous comments have been said, there could easily be a much larger story wrapped up from this. I thank you for the constructive comment, but perhaps this should clear some of the confusion up.
4764521
Actually, that does clear up quite a few things. I think most of what I pointed out and you cleared up is just not conveyed extremely well.
The whole being in Canterlot for a few weeks thing probably should have been mentioned in the first scene. The way the first scene is written, it's as if she's leaving Ponyville for good. Sure Celestia tells her she would be ruling Equestria for a few weeks if not longer, but that didn't infer that she would be going back to Ponyville afterwards. After all, she was to be a princess in training, so it's reasonable to assume she might stay in Canterlot afterwards to continue training or whatever she might do.
^ this sentence is the culprit. It basically outright says her time in Ponyville is over. That's where the confusion came from.
The threat Celestia makes to Twilight could work, but the problem is, she never backs down or anything. Celestia being sick, and overprotective makes sense, but Twilight is still dear to her heart. She should probably apologize afterwards after seeing Twilight cower beneath her, or at least soften in some way.
Given the later explanations, the dinner scene now makes perfect sense. The problem then is that the latter scene doesn't .
If Luna is indeed inexperienced with love and she loves Twilight as much as she says she does, she too should soften when faced with a cowering Twilight.
First, has should be have. Secondly, she shouldn't almost smile. she was just discussing how her words may have upset Twilight. Nearly smiling at that point in time would denote pleasure or satisfaction at having upset Twilight. Her eyes might fall, or she might avoid eye contact, something that denotes neutrality or remorse.
You say Luna is inexperienced in love, but her words tell a different story.
This actually implies she has loved multiple ponies, but grew more distant over time. I could accept that, but she continues talking like an experienced lover. She never admits to being out of touch after so many years, nor does her shell truly soften.
This also implies that she is comfortable with love. As is, I think the best way to convey her inexperience would be to play to one of her strengths.
For instance, Luna says something to the effect of "forgive me, Twilight Sparkle. Come, look at this." and then she does something like... I dunno, all of the stars in the sky sparkle and shimmer, or she creates an aurora, or something else that would dazzle Twilightm and then she wraps her wing around her and says something like, "That is how bright your love shines for me." or something similar. Something that she could do that would take the place of mere words.
and lastly...
That could not be further from the truth. Her friends played equal roles in defeating Tirek. If they had missed even a single one of those keys, their victory would never have happened. As she said "together, I think we have to do this together." It was only possible through their actions over the entire season that they could unite and defeat Tirek without alicorn magic. Even Celestia said it best:
All this being said, I look forward to seeing what a sequel might offer as Twiluna is a favorite ship of mine.
There needs to be a space between the words stop, and "Are...
there needs to be a space between the words whispered, and "Yes."
this could probably also be While she bid them farewell, she made her way over the draw bridge, and momentarily paused to turn and glance over the side and into the clear waters below.
this should be Stars surrounded the moon in the shape of a heart, a very odd sight that Twilight could have sworn she had never read about during her studies on stars themselves.
this should be Her eyes made contact with the soft combination of purple and pink irises.
there should be a space between the words side, and "I
this should be "There have been no threats of anyone attempting to pursue any damage to us, Twilight, but there is a more dire reason. I am becoming older now, and despite the factor that I am nearly immortal, my body still withers away from several centuries of stress of ruling an empire.
There should be a space between the words princess. and the word "As.
there should only be one period after the word yes.
This should be Luna seemed to have a remark or a tale to speak of about each major pony in Equestrian history, and the young princess could listen to her speak all night about the places she’d been.
While I am less sure about this then I am about the rest of the grammatical/spelling errors that I have fixed for you, I am pretty sure that this should be With a sudden surge of energy, Twilight Sparkle sat upright in her bed, throwing the sheets to the ground.
While I am less sure about this then I am about the rest of the grammatical/spelling errors that I have fixed for you, I am pretty sure that this should be I apologize if I have done anything wrong, please send word when you get this letter.
There needs to be a space between the words respond, and "Enter!"
There needs to be a space between the words princess. and ”Twilight
There needs to be a space between the words face, and ”No
So very, very sorry that I didn't catch it sooner! 
I promise that I will do better when it comes to the sequel! 
The story's concept was a good one, but, in my opinion, the character's were not acting correctly, and the ending was rushed.
Sorry about this, but it has come to my attention via another's comment that there is another grammatical error.
this should be: have my words affected you so?” The reason for this is because the word have is the past tense of the word has, and so therefore would make more sense as Luna is talking about words that she said in the past.